‫ﻃﻘﻮس اﻻﺣﺘﻀﺎر‬

    ‫رواﻳﻪ‬

‫ﺧﺎﻟﺪ اﻟﺴﺮوﺟﻲ‬
‫ﻃﺒﻘﺎ ﻟﻘﻮﺍﻧﲔ ﺍﳌﻠﻜﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﻔﻜﺮﻳﺔ‬
              ‫א‬         ‫א‬           ‫א‬
      ‫.‬                                        ...
‫-1-‬
‫:ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻰ ﻟﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ.. ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻰ ﻟـﻙ‬
‫ﺒﺎﻟﺘﻔﺼﻴل.. ﺃﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﻀﻰ ﺇﻟﻴﻙ.. ﻟﻘﺩ‬
‫ﺍﺘﺼﻠﺕ ﺒﻰ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﺯﻤﺔ.. ﺍﺘﺼﻠﺕ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤـﻥ‬
‫...
‫ﺤﺘﻰ ﻟـﻭ ﺃﻁﻠـﺕ ﻋﻠﻴـﻙ.. ﺃﻋﻠـﻡ ﺃﻨـﻙ‬
                           ‫ﺴﺘﺘﺤﻤﻠﻨﻰ..‬
‫ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﺍﻋﺫﺭﻨﻰ ﻓﻠﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻰ ﻤﺭﺘﺒﺎ ﻭﻻ‬
   ‫ﹰ‬
 ‫...
‫–2-‬
 ‫:ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﺴﺎﻓﺭﺕ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﺤﻭﺍﻟﻰ ﺸـﻬﺭ..‬
‫ﻋﺎﺩ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴﺙ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻭﻓﻰ‬
‫ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﻀﻊ ﺍﻟﻘﺩﻴﻡ.. ﻭﻗﺭﺭ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺇﺠـﺭ...
‫ﻜﺘﻭﻤﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺤﻜﻰ ﻷﺤـﺩ.. ﻻ ﺘﺤﻜـﻰ ﺤﺘـﻰ‬
          ‫ﻷﻤﻬﺎ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﻜﻰ ﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ . . . .‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﻋﺩ ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ‬
‫ﺒﺯﻴ...
‫ﻻ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﺃﺨﻰ ﺤﺠﻡ ﺍﻟﻤـﺄﺯﻕ ﺍﻟـﺫﻯ‬
         ‫ﻭﻗﻌﻨﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻋﻭﺩﺓ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﺼﺭ..‬
‫ﻟﻘﺩ ﻋﺎﺩ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴﺙ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻭﻓﻰ‬
‫ﺫﺍ...
‫-3-‬
‫:ﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺍﻟﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﻠـﻡ ﺒـﺄﺩﻕ‬
‫ﺘﻔﺎﺼﻴل ﻤﺭﺽ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻭﺘﻁﻭﺭﺍﺘﻪ ﻭﻜﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻭﻗﻌﺎﺕ‬
‫ﻭﺍﻻﺤﺘﻤﺎﻻﺕ ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺽ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﺃﺨﻔـ...
‫ﺍﻟﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺃﻤـﻰ ﺘﺤﻜﻤﻬـﺎ ﻫـﺫﻩ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺍﻟﻬﺎﺩﺌﺔ.. ﺃﺜﻕ ﺘﻤﺎﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻜﻼ ﻤﻨﻬﻡ ﻜﺎﻥ‬
         ‫ﹰ‬     ‫ﹰ‬
‫ﻴﺤﺏ ﺍﻵﺨﺭ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ...
‫ﻭﺍﻟﺩﻜﻡ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺃﻋﻅﻡ ﺭﺠل ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺩﻨﻴﺎ .‬
      ‫ﻭﺘﺨﺎﺼﻤﻨﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﺴﺘﺭﻀﻴﻪ . . . .‬
‫ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺯﻭﺍﺝ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻭﺃﺒﻰ ﻋﻥ ﺤﺏ ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ‬
‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻓﺘ...
‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻠﻙ ﺸﻬﺎﺩﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﺫﻭﺒﺎﻥ ﻓﺎﺭﻕ‬
‫ﻟﻘﺩ ﺍﻜﺘﺴـﺒﺕ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬    ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻡ ﻭﺍﻟﺜﻘﺎﻓﺔ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻤﺎ..‬
‫ﺒﻤﺭﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺤﻜﻤﺔ ﻭﺼﻭﺍﺏ ﺍ...
‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺨﺠﻠﺔ ﻟﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ ﺒﺴﺒﺏ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻻﺤﺘﻔﺎل..‬
           ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ . . . .‬
                              ‫ﹰ‬
‫-4-‬
  ‫:ﻋﻼﻗﺘﻰ ﺒﺄﻤﻰ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﺨﺎﺼﺔ..‬
‫ﺨﺼﻭﺼﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﺨﺘﻠﻑ ﻋﻥ ﺨﺼﻭﺼـﻴﺔ ﻋﻼﻗـﺔ‬
‫ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒـ"ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺃﻭ "ﺼﻔﺎﺀ .."ﻜﻨﺕ ﻭﻟﺩﺍ ﻭﺤﻴﺩﺍ‬
‫ﹰ‬    ...
‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﺨﺘﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺍﻷﻜﺒـﺭ‬
‫ﺴﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﻰ ﺘﺨﻁﺊ ﻤﻌﻰ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺭﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺸﻜل ﻏﻴﺭ‬
                                 ‫ﹰ‬
            ...
‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻋﺎﺩ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻨﻴـﺔ‬
‫ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻘﻠﻘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺒـﺄﻥ ﻟـﻰ‬
                     ‫ﱠ‬
‫ﻤﺯﺍﺝ ﻤﻌﻴﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻷﻜ...
‫ﺯﻭﺍﺠﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺘﺸـﻐﻠﻬﺎ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺩﺨﻠـﺕ‬
     ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻟﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻟﻠﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬
     ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻭﻗﺕ ﻵﺨﺭ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻷﺒﻰ:‬
      ...
‫-5-‬
‫:ﻫﺒﻁﺕ ﻤﻌﻨﻭﻴﺎﺕ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﺇﻟـﻰ ﺃﺩﻨـﻰ‬
‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻋﻭﺩﺓ‬    ‫ﺩﺭﺠﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬
‫ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻭﻓﻰ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﻜﺎﻥ ...
‫-6-‬
‫:ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻨﻘﻁﺔ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺸـﺩﻴﺩﺓ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺤﺴﺎﺴﻴﺔ ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻷﻤـﻰ.. ﺇﻨﻬـﺎ ﻭﺍﺠﺒﺎﺘﻬـﺎ‬
                                  ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻨ...
‫ﺒﺎﻗﻰ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﺍﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻓﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﻐﺫﺍﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺦ..‬
‫ﺍﻟﻠﺤﻡ ﻴﺅﻜل ﻁﻭﺍل ﺍﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻓﻴﻤﺎ ﻋﺩﺍ ﺍﻷﺭﺒﻌﺎﺀ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺼﺹ ﻟﻠﺴـﻤﻙ ﻭﺍﻟﺨﻤـﻴﺱ ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺼـﺹ‬
‫ﻜﻨ...
‫-7-‬
‫:ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻅﺭﻭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻭﺠـﺩﺕ‬
                          ‫ﺫﻫﻨﻰ ﻤﺸﺘﺘﺎ . . . .‬
                                  ‫ﹰ‬...
‫ﺍﻟﺒﺤﺙ.. ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺒﺤﺙ ﻴﺴﺘﻨﺩ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﺩﺉ ﺍﻟﺘـﻰ‬
‫ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺭﺕ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻘـﺎﻨﻭﻥ ﺍﻟـﺩﻭﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻌـﺎﻡ ﺤـﻭل‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺭﻭﻋﻴﺔ ﻜﻤﺒﺩﺃ ﻋﺩﻡ ﺠﻭﺍﺯ ﻀﻡ ﺍﻷﺭﺍﻀـﻰ‬...
‫ﺍﻟﺸﻰﺀ ﺍﻟﻤﺅﻜﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻗﺩ ﺤﺩﺙ ﻓﻰ ﻟﺤﻅـﺔ‬
‫ﻤﻥ ﻟﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﻀﻌﻑ ﺍﻟﺠﻬﺎﺯ ﺍﻟﻤﻨـﺎﻋﻰ ﻟﺠﺴـﺩ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﻨﻁﻘﺔ.. ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻨﺤـﻼل ﺍﻟﺩﻭﻟـﺔ‬
‫ﺍﻟﻭﺴﻁﻰ ﻓ...
‫-8-‬
‫ـﺭﻁﺎﻥ‬‫ـﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﺴـ‬‫ـﻰ ﻋﻠﻴـ‬‫:ﻻ ﺃﺨﻔـ‬
‫ﺍﻹﺴﺭﺍﺌﻴﻠﻰ ﺃﻋﺎﺩﻨﻰ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺴـﺭﻁﺎﻥ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻴﻨﻬﺵ ﻓﻰ ﺠﺴﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﻭﺘﺴﺎﺀﻟﺕ: ﻤﺘـﻰ...
‫ﻜل ﻤﺎ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﺎﻉ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻔﻌﻠـﻪ ﻫـﻭ ﺃﻥ‬
‫ﻴﻁﺎﻟﺏ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒﺎﻟﺼﺒﺭ.. ﻭﺘﻘﺩﻴﺭ ﻤﻭﻗﻔﻪ ﺍﻟﻌﺎﺌﻠﻰ..‬
‫ﻓﻬﻭ ﻟﻥ ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻁﺭﺩ ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻟـﻴﺱ ﻟﻬـﺎ‬
‫ﻤ...
‫-9-‬
‫:ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﻟﻬـﺎ‬
‫ﻤﻁﻠﺏ ﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ.. ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺒﻴـﺕ‬
‫ﻤﺴﺘﻘل.. ﺒﻴﺕ ﻻ ﺘﺸﺎﺭﻜﻬﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﻯ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺃﺨﺭ...
‫ﺘﻐﺎﺩﺭﻫﺎ.. ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺨﺸﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﺒﺨﺭ ﺍﻟﺸﻘﺔ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻤﺎ‬
‫ﺘﺭﻜﻨﺎﻫﺎ.. ﻭﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﻨﺎﺯﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻟﻬﺎ.. ﻜل ﻤﻨـﺎ‬
                        ‫ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ...
‫- 01 -‬
‫:ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺘﺴﺎﺀل ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻋـﻥ‬
                           ‫ﹰ‬
             ‫ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻔﻘﺩ ﺜﺩﻴﻬﺎ..‬
...
‫ﻟﻡ ﺃﺠﺭﺅ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺅﺍﻟﻬﺎ ﻋـﻥ ﻤﺸـﺎﻋﺭﻫﺎ‬
‫ﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺒﺘﺭ ﺜﺩﻴﻬﺎ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺩﺭﻙ ﺃﻥ ﻫـﺫﺍ‬
       ‫ﺍﻟﺒﺘﺭ ﻗﺩ ﺘﺭﻙ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ﺠﺭﺤﺎ ﻏﺎﺌﺭﺍ..‬
 ...
‫ﺒﺠﺴﺩﻩ ﻜﺎﻤﻼ.. ﺤﺘﻰ ﻤﻥ ﻭﻟﺩ ﺒﻌﺎﻫﺔ ﻜـﺎﻟﻌﻤﻰ‬
                           ‫ﹰ‬
‫ﻴﺒﻌﺙ ﺒﺼﻴﺭﺍ.. ﻭﺃﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺒﺘﺭﺕ ﻴﺩﻩ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟـﺩﻨﻴﺎ‬
         ...
‫- 11 -‬
   ‫:ﻜﺎﻥ ﻻﺒﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺒﺩﺀ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ..‬
‫ﻻ ﺃﺨﻔﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺴﺭﺍ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤـﻭﺩ ﻓﺄﻨـﺕ‬
                ‫ﹰ‬
‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻗﺩﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﻤﺎ...
‫ﺍﻟﺴﻭﺩﺍﺀ.. ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻹﺸﻌﺎﻋﻰ ﻜﺎﻨـﺎ‬
‫ﻓﻰ ﻤﻘﺩﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻟﻴﺔ.. ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ‬
                              ‫ﻓﻔﻭﻕ...
‫- 21 -‬
‫:ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻰ ﻟﻙ ﻋﻥ ﻤﻭﻗـﻑ ﺭﺒﻤـﺎ ﺒـﺩﺍ‬
                           ‫ﻏﺭﻴﺒﺎ ﻭﻤﺅﻟﻤﺎ..‬
                             ‫ﹰ‬     ...
‫ﻭﻜـﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺤـﺩﺙ‬       ‫ﻴﻭﻤﻬﺎ ﺜﺎﺭ ﺃﺒـﻰ..‬
                 ‫ﺍﺸﺘﺒﺎﻙ ﺒﺎﻷﻴﺩﻯ ﻟﻭﻻ ﺘﺩﺨﻠﻰ..‬
        ‫ﻗﺎل ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺯﺍل ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﺒ...
‫- 31 -‬
‫:ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﻟـﻪ ﻤﺸـﺎﻜﻠﻪ‬
‫ﻓﺎﻵﺜﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻨﺒﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻴﺤﺩﺜﻬﺎ ﺍﺴﺘﺨﺩﺍﻡ‬    ‫ﺃﻴﻀﺎ..‬
                           ...
‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨﻰ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﻌﺕ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻟﻤـﺢ ﻫـﺫﺍ‬
              ‫ﹰ‬
                                 ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺯﻥ..‬
‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺸﻘﻴﻘﺘﻰ "ﺼـﻔﺎﺀ "ﻗـﺩ ﺤ...
‫- 41 -‬
  ‫:ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻟﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻟﻠﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴـﺙ..‬
‫ﺼﺎﺭﺤﺕ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﻀﺭﻭﺭﺓ ﺍﺴﺘﺩﻋﺎﺀ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻤﻥ‬
‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﻗﺎل ﻟﻰ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻟﻭﻗـﺕ ﻻ ﻴـﺯﺍل‬   ...
‫ﺯﻭﺝ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺤﺠﺯ ﻟﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻭل ﻁﺎﺌﺭﺓ‬
‫ﻤﺘﺠﻬﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ.. ﻭﺘﻘﺭﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻊ ﺃﺒﻰ‬
‫ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺒﺎﻟﻤﻁﺎﺭ.. ﻜﺎﻥ‬
‫...
‫- 51 -‬
‫:ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺘﺴﺎﺀل: ﻤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ‬
                            ‫ﹰ‬
                    ‫ﺘﺴﺘﺸﻌﺭ ﺍﻟﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ؟ . . . ....
‫ﺃﻭﻗﻅﻬﺎ.. ﻭﺃﺼﻠﻰ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺇﻤﺎﻤﺎ.. ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺘﺤـﺏ‬
             ‫ﹰ‬
   ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺨﺹ ﺴﻭﺭﺘﻰ "ﻴﺱ "ﻭ "ﺍﻟﻤﻠﻙ .."‬
                      ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ...
‫ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻓﻰ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻟﺴﻥ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ..‬
                                ‫ﹰ‬
‫ﻭﻟﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺘﺘﺴﺎﻤﺢ ﻤﻌﻰ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﻜﺎﺴل ﻓﻰ ﺃﺩﺍﺀ‬...
‫ﻭﺤﺎﻭﻟﻨﺎ ﺇﻗﻨﺎﻋﻬﺎ‬   ‫ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﻭﺃﺭﺍﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺼﻠﻰ..‬
‫ﺒﺘﺄﺠﻴل ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻭﻗﺕ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﻜﺜـﺭ‬
‫ﺭﻓﻀـﺕ ﺒﻌﻨـﺎﺩ‬       ‫ﺍﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍﺩﺍ ﻷﺩﺍﺀ...
‫- 61 -‬
 ‫:ﺴﺎﻓﺭﺕ ﻤﻊ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ .."‬
‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﺸـﺎﺭﻑ ﺍﻟﻘـﺎﻫﺭﺓ‬
                           ‫ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺎﻟﻀﻴﻕ..‬
‫ﺃ...
‫ﺇﻨﺴﺎﻨﻴﺔ.. ﺒل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻌﻜـﺱ ﺘﻤﺎﻤـﺎ.. ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ‬
        ‫ﹰ‬
‫ﺍﻟﺨﺸﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺩﻫﺴـﻙ ﺍﻷﻗـﺩﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﺤﻤﻭﻤـﺔ‬
                             ...
‫:ﻻ ﺃﺨﻔﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻗـﻑ ﻓـﻰ‬
‫ﻭﻻﺤﻅﺕ ﺃﻴﻀـﺎ ﺃﻥ‬
   ‫ﹰ‬                 ‫ﺼﺎﻟﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻁﺎﺭ ﻤﺘﻭﺘﺭﺍ..‬
                       ‫ﹰ‬...
‫ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻟﺼـﺎﻟﺔ‬
  ‫ﺍﻟﺠﻤﺭﻜﻴﺔ ﻻﺤﻅﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﺼﻔﺭﺍ..‬
    ‫ﹰ‬
  ‫ﺍﺤﺘﻀﻨﺕ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺴﺄﻟﺘﻪ ﺒﺨﻭﻑ:‬
        ...
‫ﻓﻘﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ:‬
                    ‫ﺼﺩﺭﻯ ﻴﺄﻜﻠﻨﻰ .‬
        ‫ﻭﻋﺎﺩﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻜﺎﺀ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ..‬
                         ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ...
‫:ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻅﻼﻡ‬
                     ‫ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺯﺠﺎﺝ ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ:‬
‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻋﺭﻀﻨﺎﻫﺎ‬       ‫ﻻ ﺃﺼﺩﻕ ﻤﺎ ﺤﺩﺙ..‬
   ...
‫ﺍﻟﺠﺭﻋﺔ ﺍﻟﺭﺍﺒﻌﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺘﻘﻠﺹ ﺤﺠﻡ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ‬
‫ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻓﺠﺄﺓ ﺒﺩﺃ ﺤﺠﻡ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﻓﻰ‬   ‫ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻨﺼﻑ..‬
  ‫ﺍﻻﺯﺩﻴﺎﺩ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺍﺴﺘﻤﺭﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﻌﻼ...
‫ﻭﺤﺎﻭل ﺃﺒﻰ ﺘﻐﻴﻴﺭ ﺍﺘﺠـﺎﻩ ﺍﻟﺤـﺩﻴﺙ..‬
           ‫ﻭﺃﺴﺘﺩﺍﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺨﻠﻑ ﻤﺨﺎﻁﺒﺎ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ":‬
                    ‫ﹰ‬
                ...
‫ﺘﻠﺘﻘﻰ ﺜﻡ ﺘﻬﺭﺏ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻅﻼﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﺤﻴﻁ ﺒﻨﺎ‬
                  ‫ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺯﺠﺎﺝ ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ..‬
                 ‫ﻫﻤﺴﺕ ﻟﻰ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ :"‬
‫...
‫: ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﺠﺩﻨﺎ ﺼﻔﺎﺀ‬
‫ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻠﻜﻭﻨﺔ.. ﻭﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ ﻗـﺩ‬
‫ﺃﻴﻘﻅﺕ ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﺤﻤﺩ ﻋﻨﺩ ﻤﺩﺨل ﺍﻹﺴﻜﻨﺩﺭﻴﺔ‬
‫ﻓﺼ...
‫ﻭﻨﺒﻬﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﺤﻤﺩ ﺒﺎﻟﺒﻘﺎﺀ‬
‫ﻭﺘﻘـﺩﻤﺕ‬     ‫ﻓﻰ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﺇﺤﺩﺍﺙ ﻀﺠﺔ..‬
‫ﺃﻀـﺎﺀﺕ ﻨـﻭﺭ‬        ‫ﻤﻊ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺃ...
‫ﺃﺸﺎﺭﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﻭﻀـﻊ ﺍﻟـﻭﺭﻡ..‬
‫ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺘـﺫﺭ ﻋـﻥ ﻋـﺩﻡ ﻗـﺩﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ‬
                              ‫ﺍﺤﺘﻀﺎﻨﻬﻡ..‬
         ‫...
‫ﺘﺭﻜﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻤﻊ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻭﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﺇﻟـﻰ‬
                                  ‫ﺍﻟﺼﺎﻟﺔ..‬
         ‫ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻴﺠﻠﺱ ﺴﺎﻫﻤﺎ …‬
           ‫...
‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺠﺎﺀﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻓﺸل‬
‫ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﻴﺎﺌﻰ ﺒﺩﺍ ﻜل ﺸﻰ ﻭﺍﻀـﺤﺎ.. ﻟـﻡ‬
      ‫ﹰ‬
‫ﺘﻜﻥ ﻗﺎﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﻌﻭﺩ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻟﻡ.. ﺃﺤﻀﺭﻨﺎ...
‫- 02 -‬
‫: ﻫل ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤـﻭﺩ ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﻗﺎﻟـﺕ‬
  ‫ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﺩﺍﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺼﻑ ﺠﺩﺘﻬﺎ؟ …‬
                   ‫ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻗﺎﻟﺕ:‬
      ...
‫ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺤﻴل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻀﺒﻁ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﻤﺘﻠﺒﺴـﺔ‬
‫ﺒﺎﻟﻜﺫﺏ.. ﺒﺒﺴﺎﻁﺔ ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﺫﺏ..‬
‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭل ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﻭﺭﺍﺀ‬
‫ﻗﻠﺒ...
‫- 12 -‬
‫: ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻤﺭﺤﻠـﺔ ﺍﻵﻻﻡ ﻟـﻡ‬
                         ‫ﺘﻜﻥ ﺘﺸﻜﻭ.. .. ..‬
   ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺭﺩﺩ ﺁﻴﺔ ﻗﺭﺁﻨﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﺤـﺩﺓ..‬...
‫ﺤﻴﺭﺘﻨﻰ ﻤﺴﺎﻟﺔ ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻨﻬﺎ.. ﻟﻭ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻷﻴﻤﺎﻥ‬
‫ﺒﻜﺜﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻡ ﻭﺍﻻﻁﻼﻉ ﻟﻤﺎ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺘﻀـﺎﺅل‬
‫ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻨﻰ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻨﻬﺎ.. ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻔﻬﻡ‬
...
‫ﻗﺎل ﻟﻰ ﺃﺒﻰ:‬
‫ﺍﻟﻤﺴﻜﻨﺎﺕ ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺅﺨﺫ ﺒﺤﺴـﺎﺏ.. ﺇﺫﺍ‬
‫ﻭﻗـﺕ ﻻ‬     ‫ﺒﺩﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﻤﺴﻜﻨﺎﺕ ﻗﻭﻴﺔ ﻓﺴﻴﺄﺘﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ‬
                ‫ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻓ...
‫- 22 -‬
       ‫: ﻫل ﺃﻁﻠﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ؟..‬
‫ﻫل ﺘﺄﺨﺭ ﺒﻙ ﺍﻟﻭﻗﺕ؟ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ‬
                                ‫ﻨﻜﻤل ﻏﺩﺍ..‬...
‫ﻤﺅﺫ.. ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻨﺘﺎﺒﻨﻰ ﻫﺎﺠﺱ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻴﻤﻜـﻥ‬
                            ‫ﹰ‬
       ‫ﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﺭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺴﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻭﻴﻠﺘﻬﻤﻨﻰ . . .‬
    ...
‫ﻴﺎﻩ.. ﺃﻨﺕ ﻟﻡ ﺘﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻟﺸﺎﻯ.. ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ‬
‫ﺃﺼﺒﺢ ﻜﺎﻟﺜﻠﺞ.. ﺴﺄﺠﻌل ﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﺘﺼﻨﻊ ﻟﻨﺎ ﺸﺎﻯ‬
                            ‫ﺁﺨﺭ . . . .‬
‫- 32 -‬
‫:-ﻓﻰ ﺃﻭل ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸـﻔﻰ ﺘﻌﺭﻓـﺕ‬
‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺩﻜﺘﻭﺭ "ﺼﻼﺡ .. "ﻭﻓﻬﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺴﻴﺘﺎﺒﻊ‬
‫ﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺍﻟﺤﻜﻭﻤﻰ.. ﻟ...
‫ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻗﺩﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻤل..‬
                          ‫ﻓﺴﺄﻟﺘﻪ:‬
‫ﻫل ﺘﺭﻯ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟـﺫﻯ ﺘﺘﻠﻘـﺎﻩ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬
                         ...
‫ﺴﻜﺕ ﻗﻠﻴﻼ ﺜﻡ ﺃﻜﻤل:‬
‫ﻋﻼﺝ ﺃﻯ ﻤﺭﺽ ﻴﻌﻨﻰ ﺍﺒﺘﺩﺍﺀ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ‬
‫ﺇﺫﺍ ﻟﻡ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌـﺭﻑ ﺃﺴـﺒﺎﺏ‬       ‫ﺃﺴﺒﺎﺒﻪ..‬
‫ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘـﻭﻡ ﺒﻌـ...
‫ﺃﺒﺘﺴﻡ ﻭﻗﺎل:‬
‫ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀـﺎ ﻻ‬     ‫ﺃﻨﺕ ﻁﻠﺒﺕ ﺍﻟﺼﺭﺍﺤﺔ..‬
‫ﺃﺤﺏ ﺍﻟﻜـﺫﺏ.. ﻻﺒـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻌـﺭﻑ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘـﺔ‬
               ‫ﻭﻨﻭﺍﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﻤﻬﻤﺎ ...
‫- 42 -‬
‫:ﻓﻰ ﻨﻔﺱ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺩﺨﻭﻟﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺴﻤﻌﻨﺎ‬
                       ‫ﻋﻥ ﺤﺎﺩﺜﺔ ﺍﻷﻗﺼﺭ..‬
            ‫ﻫل ﻭﺼل ﺍﻟﺨﺒﺭ ﻋﻨﺩﻜﻡ؟..‬...
‫ﺃﻟﻴﺱ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺘﻁﺭﻑ ﺴﺭﻁﺎﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ؟..‬
            ‫ﹰ‬

        ‫ﺘﺭﻯ ﻤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺃ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ؟..‬
‫ﻫل ﻨﺸﺄ ﻋﻥ ﻟﺤﻅـﺔ ﻀـﻌﻑ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺎﻋـﺔ‬...
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442

  1. 1. ‫ﻃﻘﻮس اﻻﺣﺘﻀﺎر‬ ‫رواﻳﻪ‬ ‫ﺧﺎﻟﺪ اﻟﺴﺮوﺟﻲ‬
  2. 2. ‫ﻃﺒﻘﺎ ﻟﻘﻮﺍﻧﲔ ﺍﳌﻠﻜﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﻔﻜﺮﻳﺔ‬ ‫א‬ ‫א‬ ‫א‬ ‫.‬ ‫אא‬ ‫א‬ ‫)ﻋـﱪ ﺍﻻﻧﱰﻧـﺖ ﺃﻭ‬ ‫א‬ ‫אא‬ ‫ﻟﻠﻤﻜﺘﺒــﺎﺕ ﺍﻻﻟﻜﱰﻭﻧﻴــﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻷﻗــﺮﺍﺹ ﺍﳌﺪﳎــﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻯ‬ ‫א‬ ‫ﻭﺳﻴﻠﺔ ﺃﺧﺮﻯ (‬ ‫א‬ ‫א‬ ‫.‬ ‫.‬ ‫א א‬
  3. 3. ‫-1-‬ ‫:ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻰ ﻟﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ.. ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻰ ﻟـﻙ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﺘﻔﺼﻴل.. ﺃﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻓﻀﻰ ﺇﻟﻴﻙ.. ﻟﻘﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﺘﺼﻠﺕ ﺒﻰ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﺯﻤﺔ.. ﺍﺘﺼﻠﺕ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﻤﺭﺓ ﻭﻟﺩﻴﻙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﻗل ﻓﻜﺭﺓ ﻋﻤﺎ ﺤﺩﺙ.. ﻟﺸﺩ‬ ‫ﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺇﻟﻴﻙ.. ﻫل ﺘﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜـﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﺃﺤﺩﻨﺎ ﻴﻤﺭ ﺒﺄﺯﻤﺔ ﻓﻴﻭﺠﻊ ﺭﺃﺱ ﺍﻵﺨﺭ ﺒﺎﻟﺤﺩﻴﺙ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻁﻭﻴل.. ﺃﻓﻀﻰ ﺇﻟﻴـﻙ ﻓﺄﺸـﻌﺭ ﺒﺎﻻﺭﺘﻴـﺎﺡ‬ ‫ﺜﻡ ﻨﺘﺒﺎﺩل ﺍﻷﺩﻭﺍﺭ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﺘﺘﻌﺏ ﺃﻨﺕ..‬ ‫ﻤﻬﻤﻭﻤﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻷﺯﻤﺔ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻟﻐﺭﺒـﺔ ﻗـﺩ ﺍﻨﺘﺯﻋﺘـﻙ‬ ‫ﻤﻨﻰ.. ﺍﻨﺘﺯﻋﺕ ﻤﻨﻰ ﻤﺘﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻷﺤﺯﺍﻥ..‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺃﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ؟. . . . . !‬ ‫ﺴﺄﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻌﻙ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻴﺙ ﺘﻭﻗﻑ ﺍﻟﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﺒﻨﺎ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺁﺨﺭ ﺇﺠﺎﺯﺓ ﻟﻙ..‬ ‫ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻰ ﻟﻙ ﻋﻤﺎ ﺤﺩﺙ ﻤـﻥ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﺴـﻔﺭﻙ‬ ‫ﺍﻹﺠﺎﺯﺓ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻀﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺴﺄﻁﻴل ﻋﻠﻴﻙ؟..‬
  4. 4. ‫ﺤﺘﻰ ﻟـﻭ ﺃﻁﻠـﺕ ﻋﻠﻴـﻙ.. ﺃﻋﻠـﻡ ﺃﻨـﻙ‬ ‫ﺴﺘﺘﺤﻤﻠﻨﻰ..‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﺍﻋﺫﺭﻨﻰ ﻓﻠﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻰ ﻤﺭﺘﺒﺎ ﻭﻻ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻤﺴﻠﺴﻼ.. ﺴﺄﺤﺩﺜﻙ ﺒﺸـﻜل ﻋﺸـﻭﺍﺌﻰ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺴﺄﻗﻭل ﻤﺎ ﻴﺘﻭﺍﺭﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺫﻫﻨـﻰ ﺃﻭ ﹰ ﺒـﺄﻭل‬ ‫ﻻ‬ ‫ﺩﻭﻥ ﺘﻌﻤﺩ ﺍﻟﺘﺭﺘﻴﺏ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺃﺒﺩﺃ؟..‬ ‫ﺴﺄﺒﺩﺃ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ . . . . . .‬
  5. 5. ‫–2-‬ ‫:ﺒﻌﺩﻤﺎ ﺴﺎﻓﺭﺕ ﺃﻨﺕ ﺒﺤﻭﺍﻟﻰ ﺸـﻬﺭ..‬ ‫ﻋﺎﺩ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴﺙ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻭﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﻀﻊ ﺍﻟﻘﺩﻴﻡ.. ﻭﻗﺭﺭ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺇﺠـﺭﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﻋﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺠﺭﺍﺤﻴﺔ ﻻﺴﺘﺌﺼﺎل ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴـﺙ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺨﻁﺔ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺘﺴﺘﻠﺯﻡ ﺍﺴﺘﻜﻤﺎﻟﻪ ﺒﺠﻠﺴـﺎﺕ‬ ‫ﺃﺸﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﻜﻭﺒﺎﻟﺕ..‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﻋﻠﻤﺕ ﺸﻘﻴﻘﺘﻰ "ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ‬ ‫.."ﺍﺘﺼﻠﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻟﻨﺩﻥ.. ﺒﻜﺕ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺃﺒﻰ‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺴﺘﺤﻀﺭ ﻟﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺇﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻠﻴﻔﻭﻥ..‬ ‫ﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤﻴﺔ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ‬ ‫ﻁﻤﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﻤﻠﻴﺔ ﺴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺴـﻬﻠﺔ ﻭﻏﻴـﺭ‬ ‫ﻭﻭﻋﺩﻫﺎ ﺒﺄﻥ ﻴﺤﻀﺭ ﻫـﻭ ﻭﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﺨﻁﻴﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﻟﺯﻴﺎﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻰ ﻟﻨﺩﻥ ﺒﻌـﺩ ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤـﺔ ﻭﺠﻠﺴـﺎﺕ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﺸﻌﺔ.. ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻭﻋﺩ ﻫﺩﺃ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻨﻔﻌﺎل "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "‬ ‫ﺃﻨـﺕ ﻻ‬ ‫ﻭﺤﺴﻥ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺍﻟﻨﻔﺴﻴﺔ ﻷﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺸﻙ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺩﻯ ﺍﺭﺘﺒﺎﻁ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒـ "ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ .."‬ ‫ﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﺨﺘﻴﻥ ﻜﺎﻨﺘﺎ ﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﺎ ﺃﻤﺎ ﻭﺍﺒﻨﺔ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬
  6. 6. ‫ﻜﺘﻭﻤﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺘﺤﻜﻰ ﻷﺤـﺩ.. ﻻ ﺘﺤﻜـﻰ ﺤﺘـﻰ‬ ‫ﻷﻤﻬﺎ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﻜﻰ ﻟﺴﻤﺎﺀ . . . .‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﻋﺩ ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ‬ ‫ﺒﺯﻴﺎﺭﺓ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﻭﻗﺩ ﺤﺩﺙ ﺫﻟﻙ.. ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻨﺘﻬـﺎﺀ‬ ‫ﺠﻠﺴﺎﺕ ﺃﺸﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﻜﻭﺒﺎﻟﺕ ﺴﺎﻓﺭﺍ.. ﻗﻀﺕ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﻤﻊ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﺍﻷﻭﻻﺩ ﺜﻼﺜﺔ ﺃﺸﻬﺭ.. ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﺘﻌﻭﻴﻀﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺜﻼﺙ ﺴﻨﻭﺍﺕ ﻟﻡ ﺘﺘﻘﺎﺒﻼ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺭﺴﺎﺌل ﺃﻤﻰ ﻟﻰ ﻭﻟﺸﻘﻴﻘﺘﻰ ﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﺘﺸﻰ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻘﻀﻰ ﺃﻴﺎﻤﺎ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ ﻓﻰ ﻟﻨﺩﻥ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻨﺘﻬﺯ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻓﺭﺼﺔ ﺍﻟﻭﺠـﻭﺩ ﻓـﻰ ﻟﻨـﺩﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﻋﺭﺽ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺇﻨﺠﻠﻴﺯﻯ ﻤﺘﺨﺼﺹ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻋﻼﺝ ﺍﻷﻭﺭﺍﻡ.. ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺍﻹﻨﺠﻠﻴﺯﻯ ﺃﻜـﺩ‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﺘﻠﻘﺘﻪ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻓـﻰ ﻤﺼـﺭ ﻜـﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﺠﻴﺩﺍ.. ﻭﺃﻥ ﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺃﺼﺒﺤﺕ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻤﻁﻤﺌﻨﺔ .‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫...‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻐﺭﻴﺏ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻓﻰ ﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻟﻌﻭﺩﺓ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﻟﻨﺩﻥ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﻋﺒﻭﺭﺍ ﺒﻤﺎﻟﻁﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺘﻭﻗﻔﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﻭﺍﺤـﺩﺍ.. ﻋـﺎﻭﺩ ﺍﻟـﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴـﺙ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻅﻬﻭﺭ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﻏﻴﺭ ﻤﺘﻭﻗﻌﺔ . . . .‬
  7. 7. ‫ﻻ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﺃﺨﻰ ﺤﺠﻡ ﺍﻟﻤـﺄﺯﻕ ﺍﻟـﺫﻯ‬ ‫ﻭﻗﻌﻨﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻋﻭﺩﺓ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﺼﺭ..‬ ‫ﻟﻘﺩ ﻋﺎﺩ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴﺙ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻭﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﻀﻊ.. ﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺴـﺘﺤﻴل ﺇﺠـﺭﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﺠﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ.. ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺃﻜﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻷﻨﺴـﺠﺔ ﻟـﻥ‬ ‫ﺘﻠﺘﺌﻡ ﻓﻰ ﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤﺔ.. ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﺴـﺎﺒﻘﺔ‬ ‫ﺠﻌﻠﺕ ﺍﻷﻨﺴﺠﺔ ﻓﻰ ﻤﻨﻁﻘـﺔ ﺍﻟـﻭﺭﻡ ﺘﺘﻬﺘـﻙ‬ ‫ﻭﻴﺴﺘﺤﻴل ﺍﻟﺘﺌﺎﻡ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﻨﺴﺠﺔ ﻓﻰ ﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﻋﻤل ﺃﻯ‬ ‫ﺠﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ..‬ ‫ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺒﺄﺸﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﻜﻭﺒﺎﻟﺕ ﻟـﻡ ﻴﻜـﻥ‬ ‫ﻤﻤﻜﻨﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻓﻘﺩ ﺘﻠﻘﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻋﻼﺠﺎ ﺇﺸﻌﺎﻋﻴﺎ ﻤﻜﺜﻔﺎ ﻗﺒل‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺴﻔﺭﻫﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻟﻨﺩﻥ.. ﻭﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺠﺴـﺩﻫﺎ ﻴﺤﺘﻤـل‬ ‫ﺠﺭﻋﺔ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﺸﻌﺔ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻷﺒﻰ:‬ ‫ﻻ ﻴﻭﺠﺩ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ‬
  8. 8. ‫-3-‬ ‫:ﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺍﻟﺒﺩﺍﻴﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻋﻠـﻡ ﺒـﺄﺩﻕ‬ ‫ﺘﻔﺎﺼﻴل ﻤﺭﺽ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻭﺘﻁﻭﺭﺍﺘﻪ ﻭﻜﺎﻓﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻭﻗﻌﺎﺕ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻻﺤﺘﻤﺎﻻﺕ ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺽ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﺃﺨﻔـﻰ‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤﻤﺎ ﻴﻌﻠﻤﻪ.. ﺘﺤﻤل ﻭﺤـﺩﻩ ﻋـﺏﺀ‬ ‫ﺃﻤﺎ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﻓﻜﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻤﻌﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﺔ ﺒﻜل ﺃﺒﻌﺎﺩﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻴﻀﻊ ﻗﻨﺎﻋﺎ ﻴﺨﻔﻰ ﺒﻪ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻩ ﻭﻤﺨﺎﻭﻓـﻪ.. ﻻ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺸﻙ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺃﺩﺭﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺇﻁـﻼﻕ ﺍﻟﻌﻨـﺎﻥ ﻟﻠﻤﺸـﺎﻋﺭ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺨﺎﻭﻑ ﻻﺒﺩ ﺴﻴﻌﺭﻀﻨﺎ ﻟﻼﻨﻬﻴـﺎﺭ.. ﻜـﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﺤﺭﺹ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺠﻌﻠﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﻤﺎﺴﻙ.. ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜـﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﻌﻁﻴﻨﻰ ﺍﻹﻴﺤﺎﺀ ﺒﺄﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺤﻭل ﻤﺭﺽ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﻻ‬ ‫ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﻹﻴﺤﺎﺀ ﺒﻬﺎ ﻟﻠﺒﻨﺎﺕ ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻔﻌـل‬ ‫ﺫﻟﻙ ﻤﻌﻰ ﺒﺤﺴﺎﺏ ﺩﻗﻴﻕ.. ﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻴﺒﺩﻭ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ‬ ‫ﻗﻭﻴﺎ ﻭﻻ ﺃﺨﻔﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻟﻙ ﺠﻌﻠﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﻤﺎﺴـﻙ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﻁﺒﻴﻌﺘﻪ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻩ ﻫﺎﺩﺌـﺔ‬ ‫ﺒﺸﻜل ﺃﻓﻀل..‬ ‫ﻭﻻ ﺘﻌﺒﺭ ﻋﻥ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺼﺨﺏ ﻭﺃﻤﻰ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﻟﻬﺎ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ . . . .‬
  9. 9. ‫ﺍﻟﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺃﻤـﻰ ﺘﺤﻜﻤﻬـﺎ ﻫـﺫﻩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺍﻟﻬﺎﺩﺌﺔ.. ﺃﺜﻕ ﺘﻤﺎﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻜﻼ ﻤﻨﻬﻡ ﻜﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻴﺤﺏ ﺍﻵﺨﺭ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺠﻴل ﺘﻌﻭﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﺘﻡ‬ ‫ﻴﺒﺩﻭ‬ ‫ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻩ ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﺒﻴﺭ ﻋﻨﻬﺎ ﺒﺼﺭﺍﺤﺔ..‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺠﻴل ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻌﺘﺒﺭ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺍﻟﺤﺏ ﻋﻭﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﻻ ﻴﻨﺒﻐﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻅﻬﺭ ﺃﻤﺎﻡ ﺍﻷﺒﻨﺎﺀ.. ﻟـﻡ ﻴﺤـﺩﺙ‬ ‫ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻗﺎل ﺃﺤﺩﻫﻤﺎ ﻟﻶﺨﺭ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﻜﻠﻤﺔ ﺤـﺏ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺼﺭﻴﺤﺔ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺭﻯ ﺃﺸـﻴﺎﺀ ﻜﺜﻴـﺭﺓ‬ ‫‪‬‬ ‫ﺘﻌﻁﻰ ﻤﺅﺸﺭﺍﺕ ﺒﻭﺠﻭﺩ ﻤﺸـﺎﻋﺭ ﻋﻤﻴﻘـﺔ..‬ ‫ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﻋﻤﻕ ﺒﻜﺜﻴﺭ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻟﺤـﺏ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺭﻭﻤﺎﻨﺴﻰ.. ﺤﺏ ﻟﻪ ﻁﺒﻴﻌﺔ ﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﺘﺘﺠﻠﻰ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻭﺩﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺭﺤﻤﺔ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﺸـﻲﺀ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻘﺩﻴﺱ.. ﺘﻔﻌل ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻴﺤﺒﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﺘﺠﻨـﺏ‬ ‫ﻤﺎ ﻴﻜﺭﻫﻪ ﺒﺸﻜل ﺼﺎﺭﻡ.. ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﻐﻀـﺏ‬ ‫ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﺘﺼﺭﻑ ﺃﻭ ﻓﻌل ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﻫـﻰ ﺍﻷﺨـﺭﻯ‬ ‫ﺘﻐﻀﺏ ﻤﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺠﻠﻪ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻟﻨﺎ:‬
  10. 10. ‫ﻭﺍﻟﺩﻜﻡ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺃﻋﻅﻡ ﺭﺠل ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺩﻨﻴﺎ .‬ ‫ﻭﺘﺨﺎﺼﻤﻨﺎ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻨﺴﺘﺭﻀﻴﻪ . . . .‬ ‫ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺯﻭﺍﺝ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻭﺃﺒﻰ ﻋﻥ ﺤﺏ ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﺃﺤﺏ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻓﺘﺎﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻋﻥ ﺍﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭ..‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﺍﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻟﻠﺯﻭﺍﺝ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﺒﻨﺔ ﺨﺎﻟﺘـﻪ‬ ‫ﻭﺨﺒﺭ ﺃﺨﻼﻗﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﺭﺒﻴﺘﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل ﻟﻰ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ:‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺯﻭﺠﺕ ﺃﻤﻙ ﻟﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻅـﺭﻯ‬ ‫ﺃﺠﻤل ﻓﺘﺎﺓ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﺸﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻁﻭﻴﻠﺔ‬ ‫ﺃﺼﺒﺤﺕ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻅﺭﻯ ﺃﻋﻅﻡ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ .‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻓﺎﺭﻕ ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻡ ﻭﺍﻟﺜﻘﺎﻓﺔ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺍ ﺒﻴﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﺒﻤﺭﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﺎﻋﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﺘﻌﻭﻴﺽ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻔﺎﺭﻕ ﺒﺤﻜﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﻔﻁﺭﻴﺔ ﻭﺨﺒـﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ..‬ ‫ﺃﺴﺭ ﻟﻰ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ:‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻔﺘﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ﻟﻡ ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﻗﻁﻊ ﺒـﺭﺃﻯ‬ ‫ﺩﻭﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﺸﺎﺭﺓ ﺃﻤﻙ‬
  11. 11. ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻠﻙ ﺸﻬﺎﺩﺓ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﺫﻭﺒﺎﻥ ﻓﺎﺭﻕ‬ ‫ﻟﻘﺩ ﺍﻜﺘﺴـﺒﺕ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻌﻠﻴﻡ ﻭﺍﻟﺜﻘﺎﻓﺔ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻤﺎ..‬ ‫ﺒﻤﺭﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﻨﻴﻥ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺤﻜﻤﺔ ﻭﺼﻭﺍﺏ ﺍﻟﺤﻜﻡ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﻤﻭﺭ ﻟﻴﻘﺘﺭﺏ ﻤﺴﺘﻭﻯ ﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭﻫـﺎ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﻤﺴﺘﻭﻯ ﺘﻔﻜﻴﺭ ﺃﺒﻰ.. ﺘﺤﻭﻟﺕ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﺒﻴﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻨﻭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﺼﺩﺍﻗﺔ ﻭﺍﻷﺨﻭﺓ..‬ ‫ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻟﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻟﻠﺴـﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺒﺤـﻭﺍﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﻗﺭﺭ ﺃﺒـﻰ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺸﻬﺭ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻋﻴﺩ ﻤﻴﻼﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﻨﺤﺘﻔل ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ﻤﻴﻼﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﻟﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻤﻌﺘـﺎﺩﺓ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻻﺤﺘﻔﺎل.. ﻭﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻫـﺫﻩ ﻫـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻷﻭﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻴﺤﺩﺙ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻻﺤﺘﻔـﺎل‬ ‫ﻗﺭﺭ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺫﻟﻙ ﺒﺎﻻﺘﻔﺎﻕ ﻤﻌﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﺒﻌﻴﺩ ﻤﻴﻼﺩﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻟﺭﻓﻊ ﻤﻌﻨﻭﻴﺎﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﻭﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺨﺠﻠﺔ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﺫﻟﻙ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒﺎﺴﺘﻨﻜﺎﺭ ﻤﺼﻁﻨﻊ:‬ ‫ﻭﻫل ﺃﻨﺎ ﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﻘـﺎﻡ ﻟـﻰ ﻋﻴـﺩ‬ ‫ﻤﻴﻼﺩ؟!!‬
  12. 12. ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺨﺠﻠﺔ ﻟﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ ﺒﺴﺒﺏ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻻﺤﺘﻔﺎل..‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ . . . .‬ ‫ﹰ‬
  13. 13. ‫-4-‬ ‫:ﻋﻼﻗﺘﻰ ﺒﺄﻤﻰ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻋﻼﻗﺔ ﺨﺎﺼﺔ..‬ ‫ﺨﺼﻭﺼﻴﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﺨﺘﻠﻑ ﻋﻥ ﺨﺼﻭﺼـﻴﺔ ﻋﻼﻗـﺔ‬ ‫ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒـ"ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺃﻭ "ﺼﻔﺎﺀ .."ﻜﻨﺕ ﻭﻟﺩﺍ ﻭﺤﻴﺩﺍ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﻨﺘﻴﻥ.. ﺍﻟﻭﻟﺩ ﺍﻟﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﻨﺎﺕ ﻴﺴﻤﻰ "‬ ‫.."ﻜﻨﺕ ﺩﻴﻙ ﺍﻟﺒﺭﺍﺒـﺭ ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴـﺒﺔ‬ ‫ﺩﻴﻙ ﺍﻟﺒﺭﺍﺒﺭ‬ ‫ﻷﻤﻰ.. ﻻ ﺘﻀﺤﻙ.. ﻫﻜﺫﺍ ﻴﺴﻤﻭﻨﻪ.. " ﺩﻴـﻙ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺒﺭﺍﺒﺭ .."ﻻ ﺃﻋـﺭﻑ ﺒـﺎﻟﻁﺒﻊ ﺃﺼـل ﻫـﺫﻩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﺴﻤﻴﺔ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨﻰ ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺴـﻤﻴﺔ ﺘﺨـﺹ‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻷﻥ ﺍﻟﺩﻴﻙ ﺍﻟﻭﺤﻴـﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﻻﻤﺘﻴﺎﺯ ﺒﺎﻟﺫﻜﻭﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﻭﺴﻁ ﻤﺠﻤﻭﻋﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﺩﺠﺎﺝ ﻴﺼﺒﺢ ﻤﻤﻴـﺯﺍ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺘﻤﻴﻴﺯ ﺍﻟﺫﻜﻭﺭﻯ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻁﺒﻊ‬ ‫ﻋﻼﻗﺘﻰ ﺒﺄﻤﻰ ﺒﻁﺎﺒﻌﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺹ.. ﺒﺎﻟﻘﻁﻊ ﻜـﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﺒﻴﻨﻰ ﻭﺒﻴﻨﻬﺎ ﺤﺏ ﻭﺤﻨﺎﻥ ﻤﺘﺒﺎﺩل.. ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﺏ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟﺤﻨﺎﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺍﻟﺸﺎﺌﻌﺔ ﻓﻰ ﺃﺴـﺭﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻻ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻜﻭﻨﻰ ﻭﻟﺩﺍ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻴﺘﻤﻴﺯ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻵﺨﺭ..‬ ‫ﻟﻘـﺩ‬ ‫ﻫﻭ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﺃﻋﻁﻰ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﻗﺔ ﺨﺼﻭﺼﻴﺘﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻋﻭﻤﻠﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻷﺴﺎﺱ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺍﻟﺼﻐﺭ..‬
  14. 14. ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﺨﺘﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺍﻷﻜﺒـﺭ‬ ‫ﺴﻨﺎ ﻤﻨﻰ ﺘﺨﻁﺊ ﻤﻌﻰ ﺃﻭ ﺘﺭﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺸﻜل ﻏﻴﺭ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻻﺌﻕ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺘﻨﻬﺭﻫﺎ ﻗﺎﺌﻠﺔ:‬ ‫ﻋﻴﺏ.. ﺇﻨﻪ ﺃﺨﻭﻙ‬ ‫ِ‬ ‫ﻜﻭﻨﻰ ﻭﻟﺩﺍ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻌﻁﻴﻨﻰ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻅﺭ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻤﻴﺯﺓ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﻭﻕ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻓﺎﺭﻕ ﺍﻟﺴﻥ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻫﻭ ﻟﺼﺎﻟﺢ‬ ‫"ﺴﻤﺎﺀ .."ﺘﺭﺒﻰ ﺠﻴل ﺃﻤﻰ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻟﻠﺭﺠـل‬ ‫ﻭﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﻤﻬﻤﺎ ﺼﻐﺭ ﺴﻨﻪ ﺍﺤﺘﺭﺍﻤﻪ..‬ ‫ﺍﻋﺘﺎﺩﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ‬ ‫ﻤﻤﻴﺯﺍ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺃﺒﺴﻁ ﺍﻷﺸﻴﺎﺀ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﺘﻀﻊ ﻷﺒﻰ ﻗﻁﻌﺔ ﻟﺤﻡ ﺯﺍﺌﺩﺓ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻤﺎﺌـﺩﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻐﺫﺍﺀ.. ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﺯﺍﺌﺩﺓ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺭﻤﺯ ﺇﻟـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺩﺓ.. ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻴﺄﻜﻠﻬﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻅﻠﺕ ﺘﻭﻀﻊ ﻟﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﺌﺩﺓ ﻜﺭﻤﺯ ﻟﻼﻤﺘﻴﺎﺯ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺒﺭﺕ ﺩﺸﻨﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺭﺠﻭﻟﺘﻰ ﺒﻘﻁﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﻠﺤﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺯﺍﺌﺩﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺎﺌﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﻐﺫﺍﺀ.. ﺠﻴل ﺃﻤـﻰ ﻜـﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﻌﺘﺒﺭ ﺍﻻﺒﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﻜﺒﺭ ﺍﻟﺭﺠل ﺍﻟﺜـﺎﻨﻰ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻬﻥ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻟﺯﻭﺝ.. ﻴﻌﺘﺒﺭﻨﻪ ﺘﺤﺼﻴﻥ ﺇﻀﺎﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﻀﺩ ﺍﻟﺯﻤﻥ ﻭﺘﻘﻠﺒﺎﺘﻪ..‬
  15. 15. ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻋﺎﺩ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻨﻴـﺔ‬ ‫ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻘﻠﻘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺒـﺄﻥ ﻟـﻰ‬ ‫ﱠ‬ ‫ﻤﺯﺍﺝ ﻤﻌﻴﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻷﻜل ﻭﻋﺎﺩﺍﺕ ﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﻭﺘﺸﻔﻕ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘـﺩﺭﻙ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻜﺘﻨﻰ ﻭﻤﺎﺘﺕ..‬ ‫ﱠ‬ ‫ﻭﺃﺼﺒﺤﺕ‬ ‫ﺠﻴﺩﺍ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻟﻥ ﻴﺘﺤﻤﻠﻨﻰ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺴﻭﺍﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﻠﺢ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺴﺄﻟﺔ ﺯﻭﺍﺠﻰ..‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻔﺘﺭﺓ ﻜﻨﺕ ﻗـﺩ ﺘﻌﺭﻓـﺕ ﺒــ‬ ‫"ﻟﻴﻠﻰ "ﻭﺃﺒﺩﻴﺕ ﺭﻏﺒﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺨﻁﺒﺘﻬﺎ.. ﺃﺼﺭﺕ‬ ‫ﻫﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺫﻫﺎﺏ ﻤﻌﻨﺎ ﻟﻤﻨﺯل ﺃﺴﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻟﻘـﺭﺍﺀﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻔﺎﺘﺤﺔ.. ﻟﻡ ﺘﺴﺘﻤﻊ ﻟﺭﺠـﺎﺌﻰ ﻭﻟﺭﺠـﺎﺀ ﺃﺒـﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﺘﺄﺠﻴل ﺫﻟﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺘﻡ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﻭﺘﺸﻔﻰ.. ﺃﺠﺒﺭﺘﻨﺎ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺘﺤﺩﻴﺩ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﻗﺭﻴﺏ.. ﺫﻫﺒـﺕ ﻤﻌﻨـﺎ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﺴﺭﺓ ﻟﻴﻠﻰ ﺘﺴﻜﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﺎﺩﺱ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﺭﻫﻘﻬﺎ ﺼﻌﻭﺩ ﺍﻟﺴـﻠﻡ‬ ‫ﻋﻤﺎﺭﺓ ﺒﺩﻭﻥ ﻤﺼﻌﺩ..‬ ‫ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﺎﺩﺱ ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺴﻌﻴﺩﺓ..‬ ‫ﺩﻟﺘﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﺃﺤﺒﺕ ﻟﻴﻠﻰ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﻭل ﻟﻘـﺎﺀ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺒﻭﺼﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺍﺨﻠﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻔﺘﺎﺓ ﻫـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺴﺘﺭﻴﺤﻨﻰ ﻭﺘﺘﺤﻤﻠﻨـﻰ.. ﻅﻠـﺕ ﻤﺴـﺄﻟﺔ‬
  16. 16. ‫ﺯﻭﺍﺠﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺘﺸـﻐﻠﻬﺎ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﺩﺨﻠـﺕ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻟﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻟﻠﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻭﻗﺕ ﻵﺨﺭ ﺘﻘﻭل ﻷﺒﻰ:‬ ‫ﺍﺸﺘﺭ ﻟﻪ ﺍﻟﺸﺒﻜﺔ .‬
  17. 17. ‫-5-‬ ‫:ﻫﺒﻁﺕ ﻤﻌﻨﻭﻴﺎﺕ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﺇﻟـﻰ ﺃﺩﻨـﻰ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻋﻭﺩﺓ‬ ‫ﺩﺭﺠﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺃﺼﺎﺒﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻟﻠﻤﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻭﻓﻰ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﻜﺎﻥ ﺘﻌﻨﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺍﻨﺘﺼﺎﺭﻩ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺭﻜـﺔ.. ﻭﺭﺒﻤـﺎ‬ ‫ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻗﺩ ﺤﺴﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺭﻜﺔ ﻨﻬﺎﺌﻴﺎ ﻟﺼﺎﻟﺤﻪ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﺤﻘﻕ ﺍﻨﺘﺼﺎﺭﻩ ﺒﻌﻨﺎﺩ ﺸﺩﻴﺩ.. ﻭﺒﺩﺍ ﻟﻰ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻗﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﺴﺘﺴﻠﻤﺕ ﻟﻤﺼﻴﺭﻫﺎ ﻤﻌﻪ ﻭﻓﻘﺩﺕ ﺍﻟﻘﺩﺭﺓ ﻨﻬﺎﺌﻴـﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺘﺤﺩﻴﻪ..‬
  18. 18. ‫-6-‬ ‫:ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻨﻘﻁﺔ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺸـﺩﻴﺩﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺴﺎﺴﻴﺔ ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻷﻤـﻰ.. ﺇﻨﻬـﺎ ﻭﺍﺠﺒﺎﺘﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺯﻟﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻫـﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻭﺍﺠﺒـﺎﺕ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻡ ﺘﻔﻠﺢ ﻤﺤـﺎﻭﻻﺕ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺯﻟﻴﺔ ﻨﻅﺭﺓ ﻤﻘﺩﺴﺔ..‬ ‫ﺃﺒﻰ ﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺇﻗﻨﺎﻋﻬﺎ ﺒﺈﻋﻔﺎﺀ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﺘﻠـﻙ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻭﺍﺠﺒﺎﺕ.. ﻭﺭﻓﻀﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒﻌﻨﺎﺩ ﺸﺩﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺄﺘﻰ‬ ‫ﺨﺎﺩﻤﺔ ﻟﺘﺅﺩﻯ ﺍﻷﻋﻤﺎل ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺯﻟﻴﺔ ﺒﺩﻻ ﻤﻨﻬـﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻜﻤﺎ ﺭﻓﻀﺕ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭﻡ ﺸﻘﻴﻘﺘﻰ ﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﺒﻬﺫﻩ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺘﻌﻠل ﺒﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﻗﺩ ﺘﻌﻭﺩﻨﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﻋﻤﺎل..‬ ‫ﻁﻌﺎﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﺴﺘﺴـﺎﻏﺔ ﻤـﺎ ﺘﻁﺒﺨـﻪ‬ ‫ﺼﻔﺎﺀ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻷﻤﻰ ﻨﻅﺎﻡ ﺼﺎﺭﻡ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻁﻌﺎﻡ.. ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻟﺴﺒﺕ ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺄﻜل ﺍﻟﻤﻜﺭﻭﻨﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﻜﻔﺘﺔ ﻷﻨﻪ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻟﻐﺴﻴل ﻭﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻭﺠﺒﺔ ﺍﻟﺨﻔﻴﻔـﺔ ﺘﻌـﺩ‬ ‫ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﻏﺴل ﺍﻟﻤﻼﺒﺱ ﻭﻨﺸﺭﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻭﻓﻰ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻷﺭﺒﻌﺎﺀ ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺄﻜل ﺴﻤﻜﺎ.. ﺃﻤـﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬
  19. 19. ‫ﺒﺎﻗﻰ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﺍﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻓﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﻐﺫﺍﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺦ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻠﺤﻡ ﻴﺅﻜل ﻁﻭﺍل ﺍﻷﺴﺒﻭﻉ ﻓﻴﻤﺎ ﻋﺩﺍ ﺍﻷﺭﺒﻌﺎﺀ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺼﺹ ﻟﻠﺴـﻤﻙ ﻭﺍﻟﺨﻤـﻴﺱ ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺼـﺹ‬ ‫ﻜﻨﺕ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻤﺎ ﺴـﺂﻜﻠﻪ ﺩﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻟﻠﺩﺠﺎﺝ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻨﻅﺎﻡ ﺍﻟﻐﺫﺍﺀ ﻨﻅﺎﻤﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺎﺠﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺴﺅﺍل..‬ ‫ﺤﺩﻴﺩﻴﺎ ﻟﻡ ﺘﺴﻤﺢ ﻟﻪ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒﺎﻻﺨﺘﻼل ﺘﺤـﺕ ﺃﻯ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻅﺭﻑ.. ﻜل ﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺘﻌﻠﻕ ﺒﺎﻟﺒﻴـﺕ ﻭﻨﻅﺎﻤـﻪ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻜﺘﺴﺏ ﺍﻟﻘﺩﺍﺴﺔ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻅﺭ ﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﻜﻨﺎ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﻟﺤﺤﻨﺎ ﻓﻰ ﻤﺴﺄﻟﺔ ﺍﻹﻋﻔـﺎﺀ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻭﺍﺠﺒﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺯﻟﻴﺔ ﻭﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻘﻭﺓ ﺤﺠﺘﻨﺎ ﻭﻟـﻡ‬ ‫ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺍﻟﺭﺩ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻁﺎﻟﻌﻨﺎ ﺒﻨﻅـﺭﺓ ﺘﺘﻬﻤﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺒﻘﺘﻠﻬﺎ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻹﻋﻔﺎﺀ ﻤﻥ ﻭﺍﺠﺒﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺯﻟﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﻓﺘﻠﺠﻤﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻨﻅﺭﺓ..‬
  20. 20. ‫-7-‬ ‫:ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻅﺭﻭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻭﺠـﺩﺕ‬ ‫ﺫﻫﻨﻰ ﻤﺸﺘﺘﺎ . . . .‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨـﺕ ﻗـﺩ ﺍﺴـﺘﺠﺒﺕ‬ ‫ﻹﻟﺤﺎﺡ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺘﻜﻤﻠﺔ ﺍﻟﺩﺭﺍﺴﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻴـﺎ..‬ ‫ﱠ‬ ‫ﻭﺘﻘﺩﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﻟﻔﻌل ﻟﺩﺒﻠﻭﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻨﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﺎﻡ.. ﺃﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺘﺨﺭﺠﻰ ﻭﺤﺼﻭﻟﻰ ﻋﻠـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻠﻴﺴﺎﻨﺱ ﻭﻫﻭ ﻴﻠﺢ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺄﻟﺔ.. ﻟﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ‬ ‫ﻟﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﻭﻻ ﺍﻟﺤﻤﺎﺱ.. ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﺃﻨﻙ ﻜﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﺘﺭﻯ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻻ ﻀﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺨﻭﺽ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﺘﺠﺭﺒﺔ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻬﻡ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﺘﻘﺩﻤﺕ ﺒﺎﻟﻔﻌل ﻟﻨﻴل ﺩﺒﻠﻭﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﻘـﺎﻨﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﺃﻅﻥ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻙ ﻓﻰ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺨﻁﺎﺒﺎﺘﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻌﺎﻡ..‬ ‫ﺇﻟﻴﻙ ﺒﺄﻨﻨﺎ ﻨﺩﺭﺱ ﺍﻷﻭﻀـﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﺩﻭﻟﻴـﺔ ﻏﻴـﺭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺭﻭﻋﺔ.. ﻭﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻨﺒﻐﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﺩﻡ ﺒﺤﺜـﹰ‬ ‫ﺎ‬ ‫ﱠ‬ ‫ﻤﺭﺘﺒﻁﺎ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ.. ﻭﺃﺫﻜﺭ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﺃﺨﺒﺭﺘﻙ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﺨﺘﻴﺎﺭﻯ ﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺇﺴﺭﺍﺌﻴل ﻜﻤﺜـﺎل ﻟﻸﻭﻀـﺎﻉ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻭﻟﻴﺔ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﺸـﺭﻭﻋﺔ.. ﻭﻭﺍﻓـﻕ ﺍﻷﺴـﺘﺎﺫ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺭﻑ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﻀﻭﻉ ﻭﺨﻁـﺔ‬
  21. 21. ‫ﺍﻟﺒﺤﺙ.. ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺒﺤﺙ ﻴﺴﺘﻨﺩ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﺩﺉ ﺍﻟﺘـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺭﺕ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻘـﺎﻨﻭﻥ ﺍﻟـﺩﻭﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻌـﺎﻡ ﺤـﻭل‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺭﻭﻋﻴﺔ ﻜﻤﺒﺩﺃ ﻋﺩﻡ ﺠﻭﺍﺯ ﻀﻡ ﺍﻷﺭﺍﻀـﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻘﻭﺓ..‬ ‫ﻤﻊ ﺘﻘﺩﻡ ﺤﺎﻟـﺔ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﻀـﻴﺔ ﺒـﺩﺃ‬ ‫ﺘﺭﻜﻴﺯﻯ ﻴﺘﺸﺘﺕ . . . .‬ ‫ﻭﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺄﻨﻨﻰ ﻏﻴـﺭ ﻤﻬﻴـﺄ ﻻﺠﺘﻴـﺎﺯ‬ ‫ﺍﻻﻤﺘﺤﺎﻥ.. ﻭﺍﺘﺨﺫﺕ ﻗـﺭﺍﺭﺍ ﺴـﺭﻴﺎ ﺒﺘﺄﺠﻴـل‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺩﺨﻭﻟﻰ ﺍﻻﻤﺘﺤﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﻭﻤﻊ ﺴﻁﻭﺓ ﺃﺠـﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻟﻤـﺭﺽ.. ﺒـﺩﺃ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻬﺎﺠﺱ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻨﻰ ﻴﺘﻤﻠﻜﻨﻰ.. ﻭﺒﺩﺃ ﻤﻭﻀـﻭﻉ‬ ‫ﺇﺴﺭﺍﺌﻴل ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻋﺩ ﺒﺤﺜﻰ ﻋﻨﻪ ﻴﺘﺨﺫ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺫﻫﻨﻰ ﺒﺸﻜل ﻏﺎﻤﺽ ﻭﻤﻠﺘﺒﺱ ﺒﻌﺩﺍ ﺴﺭﻁﺎﻨﻴﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﺃﺼﺒﺤﺕ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻔﻜﺭﺓ ﺘﺸﺩﻨﻰ.. ﻗﻭﺓ ﻏﺎﻤﻀـﺔ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺩﻓﻌﻨﻰ ﻭﺭﺍﺀ ﺍﻻﻨﺴﻴﺎﻕ ﻟﻬﺎﺠﺱ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻹﺴﺭﺍﺌﻴﻠﻰ..‬ ‫ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺘﺴﺎﺀل: ﺘـﺭﻯ ﻤﺘـﻰ ﺒـﺩﺃ ﻫـﺫﺍ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻜﻭﻥ؟ . . . . !‬
  22. 22. ‫ﺍﻟﺸﻰﺀ ﺍﻟﻤﺅﻜﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻗﺩ ﺤﺩﺙ ﻓﻰ ﻟﺤﻅـﺔ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﻟﺤﻅﺎﺕ ﻀﻌﻑ ﺍﻟﺠﻬﺎﺯ ﺍﻟﻤﻨـﺎﻋﻰ ﻟﺠﺴـﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻨﻁﻘﺔ.. ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻨﺤـﻼل ﺍﻟﺩﻭﻟـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻭﺴﻁﻰ ﻓـﻰ ﻤﺼـﺭ ﺍﻟﻘﺩﻴﻤـﺔ.. ﻭﺩﺨـﻭل‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻬﻜﺴﻭﺱ ﻤﺼﺭ ﻭﻤﻌﻬﻡ ﺍﻟﻘﺒﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻹﺴﺭﺍﺌﻴﻠﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﻫﻭ ﺃﻨﺴـﺏ ﺍﻷﻭﻗـﺎﺕ ﻟﺒﺩﺍﻴـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺍﻹﺴـﺭﺍﺌﻴﻠﻰ.. ﺍﻟﺠﺴـﺩ ﺍﻟﻤﺼـﺭﻯ‬ ‫ﻀﻌﻴﻑ ﻭﻤﻨﺎﻋﺘﻪ ﻤﻨﻬﺎﺭﺓ.. ﻭﺍﻟﻘﺒﻴﻠﺔ ﺍﻹﺴﺭﺍﺌﻴﻠﻴﺔ‬ ‫ﺘﺘﻐﺫﻯ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺩﻤﺎﺀ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺠﺴﺩ ﻓﻰ ﻓﺘﺭﺓ ﺤﻀﺎﻨﺔ‬ ‫ﺜﻡ ﻴﻌـﻭﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﺴﺘﻤﺭﺕ ﻷﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺭﺒﻌﺔ ﻗﺭﻭﻥ..‬ ‫ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻟﻴﻨﻬﺵ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺠﺴﺩ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻨﻤﺎ ﻓﻴـﻪ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻟﺤﻅﺔ ﻀﻌﻑ ﻤﻨﺎﻋﻰ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ . . . .‬
  23. 23. ‫-8-‬ ‫ـﺭﻁﺎﻥ‬‫ـﻙ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﺴـ‬‫ـﻰ ﻋﻠﻴـ‬‫:ﻻ ﺃﺨﻔـ‬ ‫ﺍﻹﺴﺭﺍﺌﻴﻠﻰ ﺃﻋﺎﺩﻨﻰ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺴـﺭﻁﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻴﻨﻬﺵ ﻓﻰ ﺠﺴﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﻭﺘﺴﺎﺀﻟﺕ: ﻤﺘـﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻴﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺠﺴﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ؟ . . . .‬ ‫ﺤﺎﻭﻟﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﻓﻰ ﺃﻯ ﻭﻗﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ‬ ‫ﺃﻤﻰ ﻻﺒﺩ ﻭﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺠﻬﺎﺯﻫـﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﻨـﺎﻋﻰ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﻀﻌﻑ ﺤﺎﻻﺘﻪ.. ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺍﻟﺒﺩﺍﻴـﺔ ﻫـﻰ‬ ‫ﺩﺨﻭل ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻨﻙ ﺭﺃﻴﺕ‬ ‫ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﻤﻨﺯﻟﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﻘﺩﻴﻡ..‬ ‫ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﺠﺎﺀﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﻨﺯﻟﻨﺎ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺯﻭﺍﺝ ﺃﻤﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﺴﻨﺔ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ.. ﺠﺎﺀﺕ ﻤﻁﻠﻘﺔ ﻭﺘﺤﻤل ﺍﺒﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫ﻜﺘﻔﻬﺎ.. ﻟﻡ ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺯﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﻤل ﺸﺭﺍﺴﺘﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺤﺴﺏ ﺍﻟﺘﻘﺎﻟﻴﺩ ﻻﺒﺩ ﻭﺃﻥ ﺘﻌـﻴﺵ‬ ‫ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﻤﻨﺯل ﺃﺒﻰ ﺸﻘﻴﻘﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﻭﺤﻴﺩ..‬ ‫ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﺃﺫﺍﻗﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻜل ﺼﻨﻭﻑ ﺍﻟﻌﺫﺍﺏ..‬ ‫ﺒ ـﺩﺀﺍ ﻤ ـﻥ ﻗ ـﻭﺍﺭﺹ ﺍﻟﻜﻠ ـﻡ.. ﻭﻤ ـﺭﻭﺭﺍ‬ ‫ـ ﹰ‬ ‫ـ‬ ‫ـ ﹰ ـ ـ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻤﺸﺎﺤﻨﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻴﻭﻤﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻔﺘﻌﻠﺔ.. ﻭﺍﻨﺘﻬﺎﺀ ﺒﺎﻨﺘﺯﺍﻉ‬ ‫‪‬‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻠﻁﺔ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻴﺕ..‬
  24. 24. ‫ﻜل ﻤﺎ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﺎﻉ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻔﻌﻠـﻪ ﻫـﻭ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﻁﺎﻟﺏ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒﺎﻟﺼﺒﺭ.. ﻭﺘﻘﺩﻴﺭ ﻤﻭﻗﻔﻪ ﺍﻟﻌﺎﺌﻠﻰ..‬ ‫ﻓﻬﻭ ﻟﻥ ﻴﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻁﺭﺩ ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻟـﻴﺱ ﻟﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﻤﺄﻭﻯ ﻏﻴﺭ ﺒﻴﺘﻪ.. ﻜﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺨﺸﻰ ﺃﻯ ﺸﻜﺎﻴﺎﺕ‬ ‫ﻟﻌﻤﺘﻰ ﺤﻭل ﻤﻌﺎﻤﻠﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺒﻴﺘﻪ ﻗﺩ ﺘـﺅﺩﻯ ﺇﻟـﻰ‬ ‫ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘـﺩﺭﻙ‬ ‫ﺇﺴﺎﺀﺓ ﻭﻀﻌﻪ ﺍﻟﻌﺎﺌﻠﻰ..‬ ‫ﺤﺭﺝ ﻤﻭﻗﻑ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﺩﻓﻌﻬﺎ ﺫﻟﻙ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺯﻴﺩ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﺸﺭﺍﺴﺔ ﻤﻊ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﺸﺭﺍﺴﺔ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﺯﺩﺍﺩﺕ ﺒﻌـﺩ‬ ‫ﺠﺯﺀ ﻤﻥ ﻁﺒﻴﻌـﺔ ﻋﻤﺘـﻰ..‬ ‫‪‬‬ ‫ﻁﻼﻗﻬﺎ.. ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺸﺭﺴﺔ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻤﻊ ﺃﻤﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺃﺤﺩ ﻴﺠﺭﺅ ﻋﻠـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻫﻰ ﺠﺩﺘﻰ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﺼﺩﻯ ﻟﻬﺎ.. ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﻬﺭ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﺘﻌﺭﻀﺕ‬ ‫ﻟﻪ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻴﺩ ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻫـﻭ ﺍﻟـﺫﻯ ﺃﻀـﻌﻑ‬ ‫ﺠﻬﺎﺯﻫﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺎﻋﻰ ﻭﻤﻬﺩ ﻟﻅﻬﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻤﺎﺘﺕ ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻗـﺩ ﺘﺭﻜـﺕ‬ ‫ﻷﻤﻰ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻜﺒﺩﻴل ﻋﻨﻬﺎ . . . .‬
  25. 25. ‫-9-‬ ‫:ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﻟﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﻤﻁﻠﺏ ﻭﺤﻴﺩ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ.. ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺒﻴـﺕ‬ ‫ﻤﺴﺘﻘل.. ﺒﻴﺕ ﻻ ﺘﺸﺎﺭﻜﻬﺎ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﻯ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ‬ ‫ﻭﺘﺸﻌﺭ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺴﻴﺩﺘﻪ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﻔﻬﻡ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ؟ ..!‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺒﻴﺕ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺴﺎﻭﻯ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻤـﺭﺃﺓ‬ ‫ﺤﻘﻴﻘﻴﺔ.. ﻻ ﻴﻬﻡ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺒﻴﺕ ﻓﺨﻤـﺎ ﺃﻭ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬـﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺃﻯ ﺤـﺎل‬ ‫ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﺘﻭﺍﻀﻌﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺘﺭﺘﻴﺒﻪ ﻭﺘﻨﻅﻴﻤﻪ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺘﺩﺨل ﻤﻥ ﺃﺤﺩ..‬ ‫ﺒﻴﺕ ﻻ ﻴﻬﻤﺵ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺩﻭﺭﻫـﺎ ﺇﻟـﻰ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺤـﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺅﻟﻡ.. ﺍﻟﺘﺠﺭﺒﺔ ﺃﺜﺒﺘﺕ ﻟـﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻯ ﺒﻴـﺕ ﻻ‬ ‫ﻴﺤﺘﻤل ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻭﺍﺤﺩﺓ..‬ ‫ﻻ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺘﺼﻭﺭ ﻓﺭﺤﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻨـﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﻨﺒﻨﻰ ﺸﻘﺘﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﺠﺩﻴﺩﺓ.. ﻜﺎﻥ ﺨﺎﻟﻰ ﻗﺩ ﺴﻤﺢ ﻟﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﺸﻘﺔ ﻭﺍﺴﻌﺔ ﻤﻜﻭﻨﺔ‬ ‫ﺒﺒﻨﺎﺀ ﺩﻭﺭ ﻓﻭﻕ ﻋﻤﺎﺭﺘﻪ..‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺴﺕ ﻏﺭﻑ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺸﻘﺔ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺃﻋﻤﺎل‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﺸﻁﻴﺏ.. ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺸـﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻬـﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺭﻴـﺩ ﺃﻥ‬
  26. 26. ‫ﺘﻐﺎﺩﺭﻫﺎ.. ﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺨﺸﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺘﺒﺨﺭ ﺍﻟﺸﻘﺔ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻤﺎ‬ ‫ﺘﺭﻜﻨﺎﻫﺎ.. ﻭﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺘﻨﺎﺯﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺤﻭﻟﻬﺎ.. ﻜل ﻤﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﻴﺭﻴﺩ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﻤﺴﺘﻘﻠﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﺘﻘﺭﺭ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻋﺘﺯﺍﺯ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺘﺨﺎﻁﺒﻨﻰ:‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺒﻨﺎﺕ ﻓﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ.. ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﻓﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ..‬ ‫ﺜﻡ ﺘﺩﻭﺭ ﻓﻰ ﺃﺭﺠﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﺸﻘﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻟﻡ ﺘﻌـﺩ‬ ‫ﺒﻌﺩ ﻟﻠﺴﻜﻨﻰ.. ﻭﺘﺘﻭﻗﻑ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺇﺤﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﻐﺭﻑ..‬ ‫ﺘﻘﻭل ﻟﻨﺎ:‬ ‫ﻭﻫﺫﻩ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ‬ ‫ﻫﺫﻩ ﻏﺭﻓﺘﻰ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻭﻭﺍﻟﺩﻜﻡ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﺎﻟﻭﻥ.. ﺃﻤﺎ ﻫﺫﻩ ﻓﻐﺭﻓﺔ ﺍﻟﺴـﻔﺭﺓ.. ﻭﻫﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﺃﻨﺘﺭﻴﻪ ﻟﻼﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل .‬ ‫ﺤﺘـﻰ‬ ‫ﻤﺎ ﻜﺩﻨﺎ ﻨﺴﺘﻘﺭ ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﺸﻘﺔ..‬ ‫ﻀﻤﺕ ﻏﺭﻓﺘﻬﺎ ﺜﻼﺜﺘﻬﻡ.. ﻫﻰ ﻭﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ‬ ‫....‬ ‫ﺍﻋﺫﺭﻨﻰ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻜﻨـﺕ ﺃﺘﺤـﺩﺙ‬ ‫ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ.. ﺃﻭ ﺃﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﻓﻰ ﻤﻭﻀﻭﻋﺎﺕ ﻓﺭﻋﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺘﻜﻠﻡ ﺒﺩﻭﻥ ﺨﻁﺔ.. ﻓﻘﻁ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺘﻜﻠﻡ..‬ ‫ﺃﺒﻭﺡ.. ﺃﻓﺭﻍ ﻤﺎ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻰ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﻔﻬﻤﻨﻰ؟. . . . !‬
  27. 27. ‫- 01 -‬ ‫:ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺘﺴﺎﺀل ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻋـﻥ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻔﻘﺩ ﺜﺩﻴﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻴﺨﻴل ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﻔﻘﺩ ﺜـﺩﻴﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﱠ‬ ‫ﺘﺒﺩﺃ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻏﻴﺭ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻤﻠﺔ.. ﺇﻥ ﺒﺘﺭ ﺃﻯ ﺠﺯﺀ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺴﺩ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﺃﺓ ﻗـﺩ‬ ‫ﻻ ﻴﺨل ﺒﺄﻨﻭﺜﺘﻬﺎ.. ﺇﻻ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﻴﻌﻨﻰ ﺍﻤﺭﺃﺓ.. ﻴﻌﻨﻰ ﺃﻤﻭﻤـﺔ..‬ ‫ﻴﻌﻨﻰ ﻋﻁﺎﺀ.. ﻴﻌﻨﻰ ﺤﻴﺎﺓ..‬ ‫ﻟﻡ ﺘﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻋﻥ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻫﺎ ﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺒﺘﺭ‬ ‫ﺜﺩﻴﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻜﻴﻑ ﻫﻴﺄﺕ ﻨﻔﺴـﻬﺎ ﻟﺘﻘﻀـﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻗﻰ ﻋﻤﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﺜﺩﻯ ﻤﺒﺘﻭﺭ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻭﺍﺠﻪ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﻨﺩ ﺨﺭﻭﺠﻬﺎ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺯل ﺒﻭﻀﻊ ﻜﻤﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ ﻤﻜـﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺜـﺩﻯ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺘﻭﺭ ﺤﺘﻰ ﻻ ﻴﻼﺤﻅ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﺃﻯ ﺨﻠل ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﻩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻨﻁﻘﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺴﺩﻫﺎ..‬
  28. 28. ‫ﻟﻡ ﺃﺠﺭﺅ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺅﺍﻟﻬﺎ ﻋـﻥ ﻤﺸـﺎﻋﺭﻫﺎ‬ ‫ﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺒﺘﺭ ﺜﺩﻴﻬﺎ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺩﺭﻙ ﺃﻥ ﻫـﺫﺍ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺒﺘﺭ ﻗﺩ ﺘﺭﻙ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻬﺎ ﺠﺭﺤﺎ ﻏﺎﺌﺭﺍ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﻌﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﺩﺜﻙ ﻋﻥ ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭﻯ‬ ‫ﺘﺠﺎﻩ ﺜﺩﻯ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺘﻭﺭ..‬ ‫ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻴﺨﺹ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻭﺤﺩﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻴﺨﺹ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺭﻀﻌﻬﻡ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﻤﺼﺩﺭ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻬﻡ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺍﻟﻤﻴﻼﺩ‬ ‫ﺒﺘﺭ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﻴﻌﻨـﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻟﻔﻁﺎﻡ..‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻟﻰ ﺒﺘﺭ ﺠﺯﺀ ﻫﺎﻡ ﻤﻥ ﺘﺎﺭﻴﺨﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﻜﺭ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﻴﻌﻨﻰ ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺴﺒﺔ ﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺤﻴﺎﺓ‬ ‫ﻭﻴﻭﻓﺭ ﻟﻰ ﺇﻤﻜﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﺍﺴﺘﻤﺭﺍﺭﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﺅﻟﻤﺎ ﻟﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻠﻘﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺴﻠﺔ ﻤﻬﻤﻼﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤﺔ.. ﻫـﺫﺍ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﺃﺭﻀﻌﻙ ﻭﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻨﻤﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺃﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﺘﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺎﻟﺸﺒﻊ ﻭﺍﻻﻁﻤﺌﻨﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺤﺩﺙ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻋﻥ ﺒﻌﺜﻨﺎ ﻴـﻭﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﻴﺎﻤﺔ.. ﺘﻌﻤﺩﺕ ﺇﻓﻬﺎﻤﻬﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻹﻨﺴـﺎﻥ ﻴﺒﻌـﺙ‬
  29. 29. ‫ﺒﺠﺴﺩﻩ ﻜﺎﻤﻼ.. ﺤﺘﻰ ﻤﻥ ﻭﻟﺩ ﺒﻌﺎﻫﺔ ﻜـﺎﻟﻌﻤﻰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻴﺒﻌﺙ ﺒﺼﻴﺭﺍ.. ﻭﺃﻥ ﻤﻥ ﺒﺘﺭﺕ ﻴﺩﻩ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟـﺩﻨﻴﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﻌﻭﺩ ﻟﻪ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻟﻘﻴﺎﻤﺔ.. ﻟﻡ ﺃﺤﺩﺜﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺜﺩﻴﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺃﺩﺭﻜﺕ ﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻗﻭﻟـﻪ.. ﺃﺩﺭﻜﺘـﻪ‬ ‫ﺒﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﻋﻤﻴﻕ ﺒﺎﻻﺭﺘﻴﺎﺡ..‬
  30. 30. ‫- 11 -‬ ‫:ﻜﺎﻥ ﻻﺒﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺒﺩﺀ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ..‬ ‫ﻻ ﺃﺨﻔﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺴﺭﺍ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤـﻭﺩ ﻓﺄﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻗﺩﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻟﻴﺔ‬ ‫ﻟﺴﺕ ﻏﺭﻴﺒﺎ ﻋﻨﻰ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻗﺩ ﺘﻭﻗﻔﺕ ﻋﻨﺩ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺤﺩ.. ﻻ ﺘﺘﺼﻭﺭ ﻜﻡ ﻫـﻭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻌـﻼﺝ‬ ‫ﻤﻜﻠﻑ ﻋﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺒﻠـﺩﻨﺎ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﻔﻘﺘﻙ ﺍﻟﺨﺎﺼﺔ ﻻﺒﺩ ﻭﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﻌﺠﺯﻙ.. ﻴﺼﺒﺢ ﻓـﻭﻕ ﻗـﺩﺭﺓ ﺃﻯ ﺸـﺨﺹ‬ ‫ﻤﺘﻭﺴﻁ ﺍﻟﺤـﺎل.. ﻫـل ﺘﺘﺼـﻭﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺩﻭﻴـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻴﺔ ﺘﺒﺎﻉ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺴﻭﻕ ﺍﻟﺴـﻭﺩﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﺒﺄﻀﻌﺎﻑ ﺜﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﻰ.. ﻫل ﺘﺘﺨﻴل ﺃﻥ ﺃﺒـﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﻭﻅﻴﻔﺘﻪ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺘﻌـﺎﺩل ﺩﺭﺠـﺔ ﻭﻜﻴـل ﻭﺯﺍﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﻭﻋﻀﻭﻴﺘﻪ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺠﻠﺱ ﺍﻟﻨﻴﺎﺒﻰ ﻭﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻴﺨﺎﻁﺒﻪ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ "ﻓﻼﻥ ﺒﻙ "ﻴﻌﺠﺯ ﻋﻥ ﺍﺴﺘﻜﻤﺎل ﻋـﻼﺝ‬ ‫ﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﺃﻟﻴﺱ ﺫﻟﻙ ﻤﻬﻴﻨﺎ؟ . . . . !‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻻ ﺘﻘل ﻟﻰ ﻟﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻟﻡ ﺘﻁﻠﺏ ﻤﻨﻰ ﻨﻘﻭﺩﺍ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻓﺎﻟﻨﻘﻭﺩ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺘﺠﻤﻌﻬﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻐﺭﺒﺔ ﻟﻤﺩﺓ ﻋـﺎﻡ ﻻ‬ ‫ﺘﻜﻔﻰ ﺸﻬﺭﺍ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ ﺒﺄﺴﻌﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺴﻭﻕ‬ ‫ﹰ‬
  31. 31. ‫ﺍﻟﺴﻭﺩﺍﺀ.. ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻹﺸﻌﺎﻋﻰ ﻜﺎﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻤﻘﺩﺭﺓ ﻭﺍﻟﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻟﻴﺔ.. ﺃﻤﺎ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ‬ ‫ﻓﻔﻭﻕ ﺍﻟﻘﺩﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﻭﺒﺩﺃﻨﺎ ﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻤﻀﻨﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺠـل ﺍﻟﻌـﻼﺝ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺠﺎﻨﻰ..‬ ‫ﺴﻴﺎﺴﺔ ﺍﻟﻜﻌﺏ ﺍﻟﺩﺍﺌﺭ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﻭﻤﺴـﻴﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻰ ﻭﻭﺯﺍﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺼﺤﺔ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺍﻟﻘـﺎﻫﺭﻯ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺨﺼﺹ.. ﻭﺁﻩ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸـﻔﻰ.. ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻴﺎﺘﻨﺎ ﻴﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﻴﺽ ﻤﻬﻤـﺎ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﺤﺎﻟﺘﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻨﻪ ﻤﺠﺭﺩ ﺸﻰﺀ.. ﻻﻤﺒﺎﻻﺓ ﺭﻫﻴﺒﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺃﺭﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﺘﺭﻯ ﻟﻨﻔﺴﻙ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﻤﻠـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻹﻨﺴﺎﻨﻴﺔ . . . .‬
  32. 32. ‫- 21 -‬ ‫:ﺴﺄﺤﻜﻰ ﻟﻙ ﻋﻥ ﻤﻭﻗـﻑ ﺭﺒﻤـﺎ ﺒـﺩﺍ‬ ‫ﻏﺭﻴﺒﺎ ﻭﻤﺅﻟﻤﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺍﻟﻘـﺎﻫﺭﻯ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺨﺼـﺹ‬ ‫ﺍﺤﺘﺎﺠﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺃﺩﻭﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺒﺸـﻜل‬ ‫ﻋﺎﺠل.. ﻭﺍﻜﺘﺸﻑ ﺍﻷﻁﺒﺎﺀ ﺃﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺍﺀ ﻏﻴﺭ‬ ‫ﻤﻭﺠﻭﺩ ﺒﺼﻴﺩﻟﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ..‬ ‫ﺃﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺤل ﻟﺩﻴﻬﻡ؟ ..!!‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﻭﺍ ﻻﺒﺩ ﻤﻥ ﺘﺸـﻜﻴل ﻟﺠﻨـﺔ ﻭﻁـﺭﺡ‬ ‫ﻤﻨﺎﻗﺼﺔ ﻟﺸﺭﺍﺀ ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺍﺀ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل ﺃﺒﻰ ﻟﻠﻤﺩﻴﺭ ﺍﻹﺩﺍﺭﻯ ﻟﻠﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ:‬ ‫ﺤﺘﻰ ﻴﺘﻡ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﺯﻭﺠﺘﻰ ﻗﺩ ﻤﺎﺘﺕ‬ ‫ﻭﺭﺩ ﺍﻟﻤﺩﻴﺭ ﺍﻹﺩﺍﺭﻯ ﺒﺒﺭﻭﺩ:‬ ‫ﻫﺫﻩ ﻫﻰ ﺍﻟﻠﻭﺍﺌﺢ .‬ ‫ﻓﻘﺎل ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﻌﺼﺒﻴﺔ:‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﺤﺘﺎﺝ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟـﺩﻭﺍﺀ ﺒﺸـﻜل‬ ‫ﻋﺎﺠل .‬ ‫ﻭﺭﺩ ﺍﻟﻤﺩﻴﺭ ﺍﻹﺩﺍﺭﻯ ﺒﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺒﺭﻭﺩ:‬ ‫ﻻ ﺤل ﺴﻭﻯ ﻟﺠﻨﺔ ﻭ ﻤﻨﺎﻗﺼﺔ .‬
  33. 33. ‫ﻭﻜـﺎﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺤـﺩﺙ‬ ‫ﻴﻭﻤﻬﺎ ﺜﺎﺭ ﺃﺒـﻰ..‬ ‫ﺍﺸﺘﺒﺎﻙ ﺒﺎﻷﻴﺩﻯ ﻟﻭﻻ ﺘﺩﺨﻠﻰ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﺯﺍل ﺃﻤﺴﻙ ﺒﻪ:‬ ‫ﺴﺄﺫﻫﺏ ﺇﻟـﻰ ﻤﻜﺘـﺏ ﺍﻟـﻭﺯﻴﺭ ﻭﺃﻗـﺩﻡ‬ ‫ﺸﻜﻭﻯ.‬ ‫ﻭﻗﺒل ﺃﻥ ﻴﻐﺎﺩﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﻫﺩﺩﻫﻡ:‬ ‫ﺇﺫﺍ ﻤﺎﺘﺕ ﺯﻭﺠﺘﻰ ﺒﺴـﺒﺏ ﻨﻘـﺹ ﻫـﺫﺍ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺍﺀ.. ﺴﺄﺒﻠﻎ ﻋﻨﻜﻡ ﺍﻟﻨﻴﺎﺒﺔ ﺍﻟﻌﺎﻤﺔ ﺒﺘﻬﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﻘﺘل‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻌﻤﺩ .‬ ‫ﺒﻌﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻋﻠﻤﻭﺍ ﺃﻨـﻪ ﻋﻀـﻭ ﺒـﺎﻟﻤﺠﻠﺱ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻨﻴﺎﺒﻰ ﺃﻋﺎﺩﻭﻩ.. ﻭﺠﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺍﺀ..‬
  34. 34. ‫- 31 -‬ ‫:ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﻟـﻪ ﻤﺸـﺎﻜﻠﻪ‬ ‫ﻓﺎﻵﺜﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻨﺒﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻴﺤﺩﺜﻬﺎ ﺍﺴﺘﺨﺩﺍﻡ‬ ‫ﺃﻴﻀﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺘﺘﻁﻠـﺏ ﺍﻟﺤـﺫﺭ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﺘﺎﺒﻌـﺔ‬ ‫ﻓﺎﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻴﺎﺕ ﺒﺎﻹﻀﺎﻓﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺇﺤـﺩﺍﺜﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ..‬ ‫ﻀﻌﻑ ﻋﺎﻡ ﻟﻠﺠﺴﻡ ﻭﺸﻌﻭﺭ ﺒﺎﻟﻐﺜﻴﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺸﺩﻴﺩ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺤﺩﺙ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺍﻨﺨﻔﺎﻀﺎ ﺨﻁﻴﺭﺍ ﻓﻰ ﻋـﺩﺩ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻜﺭﺍﺕ ﺍﻟﺩﻡ ﺍﻟﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻫﻰ ﺠﺯﺀ ﺃﺴﺎﺴﻰ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺘﻜﻭﻴﻥ ﺍﻟﺠﻬﺎﺯ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺎﻋﻰ ﻭﺫﻟﻙ ﻴﺘﻁﻠﺏ ﻋﻼﺠـﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﻜﻤﻴﻠﻴﺎ ﻟﺘﻌﻭﻴﺽ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻨﻘﺹ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﺩ ﻓﻰ ﻜـﺭﺍﺕ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻡ ﺍﻟﺒﻴﻀﺎﺀ .‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍﺩ ﻟﺘﻘﺒل ﻜل‬ ‫ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻵﺜﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻨﺒﻴﺔ ﻟﻠﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ.. ﺇﻻ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻟﺩﻴﻬﺎ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻻﺴـﺘﻌﺩﺍﺩ ﻟﺘﻘﺒـل ﺍﻷﺜـﺭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺠﺎﻨﺒﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﻤﺜل ﻓﻰ ﺘﺴﺎﻗﻁ ﺸﻌﺭ ﺍﻟﺭﺃﺱ..‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬـﺎ ﻜﻌﺎﺩﺘﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﺫﻟﻙ ﻴﺤﺯﻨﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺘﺠﺎﻫل ﺍﻟﺤﺩﻴﺙ ﻋﻤﺎ ﻴﺤﺯﻨﻬﺎ ﻭﻴﺅﻟﻤﻬﺎ..‬
  35. 35. ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨﻰ ﺍﺴﺘﻁﻌﺕ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻟﻤـﺢ ﻫـﺫﺍ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺯﻥ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺸﻘﻴﻘﺘﻰ "ﺼـﻔﺎﺀ "ﻗـﺩ ﺤﻤﻤﺘﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﻭﺃﺨﺫﺕ ﺘﻤﺸﻁ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺸﻌﺭﻫﺎ.. ﻭﺘﺴـﺎﻗﻁ ﺸـﻌﺭ‬ ‫ﻭﺭﺃﻴﺘﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﺭﺃﺱ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒﻐﺯﺍﺭﺓ ﺃﺜﻨﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﺘﻤﺸﻴﻁ..‬ ‫ﻭﻗﺩ ﺘﻨﺎﻭﻟﺕ ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻟﺸﻌﺭ ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺴﺎﻗﻁ ﻓﻰ ﻴﺩﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻭﻨﻅﺭﺕ ﺇﻟﻴﻪ ﺒﺤﺯﻥ.. ﺜﻡ ﺘﺭﻜﺘﻪ ﻴﺴـﻘﻁ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﺩﻫﺎ . . . .‬
  36. 36. ‫- 41 -‬ ‫:ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﻟﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻟﺜﺔ ﻟﻠﻭﺭﻡ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﻴـﺙ..‬ ‫ﺼﺎﺭﺤﺕ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﻀﺭﻭﺭﺓ ﺍﺴﺘﺩﻋﺎﺀ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻤﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﻗﺎل ﻟﻰ ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻟﻭﻗـﺕ ﻻ ﻴـﺯﺍل‬ ‫ﻟﻨﺩﻥ..‬ ‫ﻤﺒﻜﺭﺍ ﻻﺘﺨﺎﺫ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﺨﻁﻭﺓ.. ﺃﺼﺎﺭﺤﻙ ﺃﻨﻨـﻰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﻀﺎﻴﻘﺕ ﻤﻥ ﻤﻭﻗﻑ ﺃﺒﻰ.. ﻓﻤـﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﻤﻜـﻥ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﺘﻤﻭﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻓﻰ ﻟﺤﻅﺔ.. ﻭﻟﻥ ﻨﻐﻔﺭ ﻷﻨﻔﺴﻨﺎ ﺃﻨﻨﺎ‬ ‫ﻟﻡ ﻨﻤﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺭﺅﻴﺔ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ .."ﻭ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺃﻴﻀﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻟﻥ ﺘﻐﻔﺭ ﻟﻨﺎ ﻫﺫﺍ..‬ ‫ﺒﻌﺩ ﻋﺩﺓ ﺸﻬﻭﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺤﺩﻴﺜﻰ ﻤـﻊ ﺃﺒـﻰ‬ ‫ﺤﺩﺙ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺯﻭﺝ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺘﻠﻴﻔﻭﻨﻴﺎ.. ﺸﺭﺡ ﻟـﻪ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻭﻀﻊ ﻭﺃﻜﺩ ﻟﻪ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻀﺭﻭﺭﺓ ﻤﺠﻰﺀ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻷﻭﻻﺩ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﺼﺭ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﻨﺒﻬﻪ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺇﻟـﻰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﺘﺄﺘﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺄﻟﺔ ﺒﺸﻜل ﻁﺒﻴﻌﻰ.. ﻭﺍﻗﺘﺭﺡ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﻴﻔﻬﻡ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺒﺄﻥ ﺍﻟﺴﻔﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﺼﺭ ﺒﻤﺒﺎﺩﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﻤﻨﻪ ﻟﺸﻌﻭﺭﻩ ﺒﻘﻠﻕ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﺭﻏﺒﺘـﻪ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻨﺯﻭﻟﻬﺎ ﺇﻟـﻰ ﻤﺼـﺭ ﻟﻼﻁﻤﺌﻨـﺎﻥ ﻋﻠـﻰ‬ ‫ﺼﺤﺘﻬﺎ..‬
  37. 37. ‫ﺯﻭﺝ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺤﺠﺯ ﻟﻬﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﻭل ﻁﺎﺌﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﻤﺘﺠﻬﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ.. ﻭﺘﻘﺭﺭ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺫﻫﺏ ﻤﻊ ﺃﺒﻰ‬ ‫ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺒﺎﻟﻤﻁﺎﺭ.. ﻜﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻟﺨﺒﺭ ﻤﺠﻰﺀ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺃﺜﺭ ﻜﺒﻴﺭﺍ ﻓـﻰ ﺘﺤﺴـﻴﻥ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺍﻟﻨﻔﺴﻴﺔ ﻷﻤﻰ..‬
  38. 38. ‫- 51 -‬ ‫:ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺘﺴﺎﺀل: ﻤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺃﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﺴﺘﺸﻌﺭ ﺍﻟﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ؟ . . . .‬ ‫ﺃﻋﺘﻘﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺫﻟﻙ ﺤﺩﺙ ﻋﻘﺏ ﺍﻟﻌﻭﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ‬ ‫ﻟﻠﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﺃﺼﺒﺤﺕ ﺘﺼﺭﻓﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﺘﺸـﻰ ﺒﺎﻹﺤﺴـﺎﺱ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻤﻐﺎﺩﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻭﺸﻴﻜﺔ..‬ ‫ﻻﺯﻤﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﺍﻟﻤﺼﺤﻑ.. ﺭﺒﻤـﺎ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺭﻤﻀﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻗﻀﺕ ﺃﻏﻠﺏ ﻭﻗﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻟﻘﺭﺁﻥ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺎﻀﻰ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺤﺭﻴﺼﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺃﺩﺍﺀ ﺼﻼﺓ ﺍﻟﻔﺠﺭ‬ ‫ﺤﺎﻀﺭﺍ ﻭﺠﻤﺎﻋﺔ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ:‬ ‫ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺼﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻔﺠـﺭ ﺃﺭﺒﻌـﻴﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﻭﻤﺎ ﻤﺘﻭﺍﺼﻠﺔ ﻏﻔﺭ ﺍﷲ ﻟﻪ ﺫﻨﻭﺒﻪ .‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻴﺴﺎﻤﺤﻨﻰ ﺍﷲ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺴﻬﺭ ﻟﺼـﻼﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻔﺠﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺃﺠﻠﻬﺎ ﻫﻰ.. ﻟـﻡ ﺃﻜـﻥ ﺃﺤـﺏ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﺃﺤﺭﻤﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺼﻼﺓ ﺍﻟﻔﺠﺭ ﻭﺜﻭﺍﺏ ﺍﻟﺠﻤﺎﻋـﺔ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻴﻨﺎﻡ ﻤﺒﻜﺭﺍ ﻭﻻ ﻴﻠﺤﻕ ﺼـﻼﺓ ﺍﻟﻔﺠـﺭ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺤﺎﻀﺭﺍ.. ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺴﻬﺭ ﻤﺘﺭﺒﺼﺎ ﻟﻠﻔﺠﺭ.. ﺜـﻡ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬
  39. 39. ‫ﺃﻭﻗﻅﻬﺎ.. ﻭﺃﺼﻠﻰ ﺒﻬﺎ ﺇﻤﺎﻤﺎ.. ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺘﺤـﺏ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻷﺨﺹ ﺴﻭﺭﺘﻰ "ﻴﺱ "ﻭ "ﺍﻟﻤﻠﻙ .."‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ:‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺴﻭﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻤﻠﻙ ﺘﻨﺠﻰ ﻤﻥ ﻋﺫﺍﺏ ﺍﻟﻘﺒﺭ .‬ ‫ﻓﻘﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ ﻤﺩﺍﻋﺒﺎ:‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻫل ﻴﻌﺫﺏ ﺍﷲ ﺍﻟﻤﻼﺌﻜﺔ؟!‬ ‫ﻓﺭﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺒﺤﺯﻥ:‬ ‫ﱠ‬ ‫ﻜﺘﺭ ﺨﻴﺭﻙ ﻴﺎﺒﻨﻰ‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻀﻁﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﺠﺎﻟﺴـﺔ ﻷﻥ‬ ‫ﺤﺭﻜﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻭﻗﻭﻑ ﻭﺍﻟﺭﻜﻭﻉ ﻭﺍﻟﺴﺠﻭﺩ ﺃﺼـﺒﺤﺕ‬ ‫ﺘﺭﻫﻘﻬﺎ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺄﻟﺔ ﺘﺅﺭﻗﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻭﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺼﻠﻰ ﻭﺍﻗﻔﺔ.. ﻜﺜﻴﺭﺍ ﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﻭﻗﻭﻓﺎ ﺜﻡ ﺘﻀﻁﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺠﻠـﻭﺱ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻤﻨﺘﺼﻑ ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺎﻟﺘﻌﺏ..‬ ‫ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﻤﺎ ﻫﻭ ﺃﻗﺩﺱ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻟﺼـﻼﺓ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟﻭﺍﺠﺒﺎﺕ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺯﻟﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﺘﻌﻠﻤﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﻓﻰ ﺴﻥ ﺍﻟﺜﺎﻤﻨﺔ..‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻤﺘﻨﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻡ ﺘﻨﻘﻁﻊ ﻋﻥ ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﺘﻬﺎ..‬
  40. 40. ‫ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻓﻰ ﻤﺜل ﺍﻟﺴﻥ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺘﻌﻠﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻡ ﺘﻜﻥ ﺘﺘﺴﺎﻤﺢ ﻤﻌﻰ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺘﻜﺎﺴل ﻓﻰ ﺃﺩﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ.. ﻻﺯﻟﺕ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻵﻥ ﺃﺼﻠﻰ ﺒﺎﻟﻁﺭﻴﻘـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻋﻠﻤﺘﻨﻰ ﺒﻬﺎ.. ﻭﺃﺭﺩﺩ ﺫﺍﺕ ﺍﻷﺩﻋﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺘـﻰ‬ ‫ﻟﻘﻨﺘﻨﻰ ﺇﻴﺎﻫﺎ.. ﺤﺘﻰ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺒـﺭﺕ ﻭﻋﺭﻓـﺕ‬ ‫ﺃﺩﻋﻴﺔ ﺃﻓﻀل ﻤﻥ ﺘﻠﻙ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻋﻠﻤﺘﻬﺎ ﻟـﻰ.. ﻟـﻡ‬ ‫ﺃﻜﻥ ﺃﺼﻠﻰ ﺇﻻ ﺒﺄﺩﻋﻴﺔ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﻭﻜﺄﻥ ﺼـﻼﺘﻰ‬ ‫ﻟﻥ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻘﺒﻭﻟﺔ ﺇﻻ ﺒﺄﺩﻋﻴﺔ ﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺩﺨﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸـﻔﻰ ﻓـﻰ ﺍﻟﻤـﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﺨﻴﺭﺓ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺤﺭﻴﺼﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺇﻗﺎﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﻭﻗﺎﺘﻬﺎ.. ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺴـﻤﻊ ﺼـﻭﺕ ﺍﻷﺫﺍﻥ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺠﺩ ﺍﻟﻘﺭﻴﺏ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺘﻁﻠﺏ ﺇﺤﻀـﺎﺭ‬ ‫ﻤﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﻭﻀﻭﺀ ﻭﺘﻌﺩﻴل ﻭﻀـﻌﻬﺎ ﺇﻟـﻰ ﻨﺎﺤﻴـﺔ‬ ‫ﺘﺘﻭﻀﺄ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻴﺭ ﻭﺘﺼﻠﻰ ﻭﻫـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﺒﻠﺔ..‬ ‫ﺠﺎﻟﺴﺔ..‬ ‫ﺃﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺃﺤﺩ ﺍﻷﻴﺎﻡ ﺘﻨﺎﻭﻟـﺕ ﺩﻭﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﻤﺴﻜﻥ ﻴﺤﺘﻭﻯ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻤﺨﺩﺭ.. ﻭﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺘﻔﺘﻘـﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﺭﻜﻴﺯ ﺒﺴﺒﺏ ﺍﻟﻤﺨـﺩﺭ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬـﺎ ﺘـﺫﻜﺭﺕ‬
  41. 41. ‫ﻭﺤﺎﻭﻟﻨﺎ ﺇﻗﻨﺎﻋﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﻭﺃﺭﺍﺩﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺼﻠﻰ..‬ ‫ﺒﺘﺄﺠﻴل ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻭﻗﺕ ﺁﺨﺭ ﺘﻜﻭﻥ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺃﻜﺜـﺭ‬ ‫ﺭﻓﻀـﺕ ﺒﻌﻨـﺎﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﺴﺘﻌﺩﺍﺩﺍ ﻷﺩﺍﺀ ﺍﻟﺼـﻼﺓ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻋﺼﺒﻴﺔ.. ﻭﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻓﻰ ﺍﺴـﺘﻁﺎﻋﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﺴـﺒﺏ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺩﺭ ﺍﻟﺠﻠﻭﺱ ﺒﺎﺘﺯﺍﻥ ﻭﺍﺘﺨﺎﺫ ﻭﻀﻊ ﺍﻻﺘﺠـﺎﻩ‬ ‫ﻟﻠﻘﺒﻠﺔ.. ﺼﻠﺕ ﻭﻫﻰ ﻨﺎﺌﻤﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ ﻭﺒﺩﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﻀﻭﺀ.. ﻨﺴﻴﺕ ﺍﻟﻭﻀﻭﺀ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺨﻠﻁ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﻼﺓ ﺒﺴﺒﺏ ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺩﺭ.. ﺘﺒﺩﺃ ﻓﻰ ﻗﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﺍﻟﻔﺎﺘﺤﺔ‬ ‫ﻭﻋﻨﺩ ﻤﻨﺘﺼﻔﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﻭﺩ ﻟﺘﻘﺭﺃ ﺍﻟﻔﺎﺘﺤﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺩﻴﺩ..‬ ‫ﺜﻡ ﺘﺨﻠﻁ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺭﺍﺀﺓ ﻓﺘﺄﺘﻰ ﺍﻵﻴﺔ ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻤﺘﻘﺩﻤﺔ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻥ ﻤﻭﻀﻌﻬﺎ ﻭﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻤﺘـﺄﺨﺭﺓ.. ﺍﺴـﺘﻐﺭﻗﺕ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺼﻼﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﻗﺘﺎ ﻁﻭﻴﻼ ﺠـﺩﺍ.. ﺼـﻠﺕ ﺨﻤـﺱ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺍﻨﺘﻬﺕ ﻤﻥ ﺼـﻼﺘﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﺭﻜﻌﺎﺕ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﺭﺘﺴﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﺍﺭﺘﻴﺎﺡ ﻋﻤﻴﻕ . . . .‬
  42. 42. ‫- 61 -‬ ‫:ﺴﺎﻓﺭﺕ ﻤﻊ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻻﺴﺘﻘﺒﺎل "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ .."‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻭﺼﻠﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﺸـﺎﺭﻑ ﺍﻟﻘـﺎﻫﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺎﻟﻀﻴﻕ..‬ ‫ﺃﻨﺕ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ ﺃﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻨﻭﻉ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻨﻔﻭﺭ ﻴﺤﻜﻡ‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺴﺎﻓﺭ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﺎ ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﻋﻼﻗﺘﻰ ﺒﺎﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﺃﺼﺎﺏ ﺒﺎﻟﺼﺩﺍﻉ ﻭﺍﻟﻘﻰﺀ..‬ ‫ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﺘﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﻨﻰ ﺒﻭﺠـﻪ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﺎﺒﺱ ﻭﺼﺭﺍﺥ ﻻ ﻴﻨﺘﻬﻰ.. ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺃﺴﺘﻘﺒﻠﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺒﻘﻠﺏ ﻤﻨﻘﺒﺽ ﻭﺭﻏﺒﺔ ﺤﺎﺭﻗﺔ ﻓﻰ ﻤﻐﺎﺩﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﺴﺭﻉ ﻭﻗﺕ..‬ ‫ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﺃﺨﻰ ﻤﺎ ﺴﺭ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻨﻔـﻭﺭ‬ ‫..!!‬ ‫ﻫل ﻫﻭ ﺒﺴﺒﺏ ﻨﺸﺄﺘﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺃﺤﻀﺎﻥ ﻤﺩﻴﻨﺔ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﺩﻋﺔ ﻜﺎﻹﺴﻜﻨﺩﺭﻴﺔ.. ﺒﻌﻼﻗﺎﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﻬﺎﺩﺌـﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﺒﺤﺭﻫﺎ ﺍﻟﺴﻤﺢ.. ﺃﻡ ﻟﺸﻰﺀ ﺁﺨﺭ؟..‬ ‫ﺘﺸﻌﺭﻨﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﺩﺍﺌﻤـﺎ ﺒـﺄﻨﻨﻰ ﻤﻬـﺩﺩ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻻﺒﺘﻼﻉ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﺘﻴﻪ.. ﻭﻴﺸﻌﺭﻨﻰ ﺘﺠﻬـﻡ ﻨﺎﺴـﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺤﻤﻭﻤﻴﻥ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻻ ﺴﺒﻴل ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻹﻗﺎﻤﺔ ﻋﻼﻗـﺔ‬
  43. 43. ‫ﺇﻨﺴﺎﻨﻴﺔ.. ﺒل ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻌﻜـﺱ ﺘﻤﺎﻤـﺎ.. ﻫﻨـﺎﻙ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺨﺸﻴﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺩﻫﺴـﻙ ﺍﻷﻗـﺩﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﺤﻤﻭﻤـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺘﻌﺠﻠﺔ..‬ ‫ﺘﻀﺨﻤﺕ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﺒﺎﻟﻨﺎﺱ.. ﻭﺍﻟﻜﺒﺎﺭﻯ..‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻷﻨﻔﺎﻕ.. ﻭﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺍﺕ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺯﻭﺭ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸـﻔﻰ‬ ‫ﺭﺃﻴـﺕ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﻯ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻌـﺎﻟﺞ ﻓﻴـﻪ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﺎﺫﻭﺭﺍﺕ ﻭﺍﻟﻨﻔﺎﻴـﺎﺕ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺸـﺎﻁﺊ ﺍﻟﻨﻴـل‬ ‫ﻓﺘﺫﻜﺭﺕ ﺍﻟﺜﺩﻯ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﺃﺭﻀﻌﻨﻰ ﻭﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ‬ ‫ﻴﻨﻬﺵ ﻓﻴﻪ..‬ ‫ﻭﺨﻁﺭ ﻓﻰ ﺫﻫﻨﻰ ﺴﺅﺍل ﻏﺭﻴـﺏ: ﻫـل‬ ‫ﺘﻌﺎﻨﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ؟ ..!‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺒﻤﺭﻭﺭ ﺍﻟﻭﻗﺕ ﺘﺤـﻭل ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺨـﺎﻁﺭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻐﺭﻴﺏ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻗﻨﺎﻋﺔ.. ﺜﻡ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺭﺜﺎﺀ..‬
  44. 44. ‫:ﻻ ﺃﺨﻔﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻗـﻑ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﻻﺤﻅﺕ ﺃﻴﻀـﺎ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺼﺎﻟﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻁﺎﺭ ﻤﺘﻭﺘﺭﺍ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻨﻅﺭﺕ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﺒﻰ ﻫﻭ ﺍﻵﺨﺭ ﻤﺘﻭﺘﺭ..‬ ‫ﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﻴﺩﻯ ﺘﺒﻴﻥ ﻟﻰ ﺃﻥ ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﻁﺎﺌﺭﺓ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺒﻌﺩ‬ ‫ﻨﺼﻑ ﺴﺎﻋﺔ ﺒﺎﻟﻀﺒﻁ.. ﻭﺤﺎﻭﻟﺕ ﻗﺘل ﺍﻟﻭﻗـﺕ‬ ‫ﺒﺘﺨﻴل ﻤﺸﺎﻋﺭ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺘﻘﺘﺭﺏ ﻤﻥ ﻤﺼﺭ..‬ ‫ﻭﻗﻠﺕ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻔﺴﻰ ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﻀﻁﺭﺒﺔ ﻟﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻨﺘﺯﻋﻨﻰ ﻤﻜﺒﺭ ﺍﻟﺼﻭﺕ ﻓﻰ ﺼﺎﻟﺔ ﺍﻻﺴـﺘﻘﺒﺎل‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺨﻭﺍﻁﺭﻯ.. ﺃﻋﻠﻥ ﻋﻥ ﻭﺼـﻭل ﻁـﺎﺌﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﻟﻨﺩﻥ.. ﻻ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﻟﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﺴﺎﺭﻋﺕ ﺩﻗﺎﺕ ﻗﻠﺒـﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﺯﺩﺍﺩ ﺘﻭﺘﺭﻯ.. ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻔﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺃﺒـﻰ ﻓﻭﺠﺩﺘـﻪ‬ ‫ﻴﺤﺎﻭل ﺭﺴﻡ ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻭﺍﺜﻘﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻭﺠﻬﻪ ﻟﻡ ﺘﻨﺠﺢ‬ ‫ﺘﻤﺎﻤﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺇﺨﻔﺎﺀ ﺘﻭﺘﺭﻩ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻟﻤﺤﺘﻨﻰ "ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ "ﻋﺒـﺭ ﺤـﺎﺠﺯ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﺎﻟﺔ ﺍﻟﺠﻤﺭﻜﻴﺔ ﻟﻭﺤﺕ ﺒﻴـﺩﻫﺎ.. ﻭﺃﺸـﺎﺭﺕ‬ ‫ﻟـ"ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ "ﻭ"ﺃﺤﻤﺩ "ﻨﺎﺤﻴﺘﻨﺎ.. ﺘﻘﺎﻓﺯﺍ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ‬ ‫ﻟﻤﺤﺎﻨﺎ.. ﻭﻅﻼ ﻴﻠﻭﺤﺎﻥ ﺒﺄﻴﺩﻴﻬﻡ ﺍﻟﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ..‬
  45. 45. ‫ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻟﺼـﺎﻟﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺠﻤﺭﻜﻴﺔ ﻻﺤﻅﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻤﺼﻔﺭﺍ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﺤﺘﻀﻨﺕ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺃﺒﻰ ﻭﺴﺄﻟﺘﻪ ﺒﺨﻭﻑ:‬ ‫ﻫل ﺴﺄﺭﻯ ﺃﻤﻰ؟‬ ‫ﻓﻘﺎل ﻟﻬﺎ ﺒﺜﻘﺔ:‬ ‫ﺃﻤﻙ ﺒﺨﻴﺭ .‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺭﻜﺒﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ ﺠﻠﺱ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺒﺠـﻭﺍﺭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴـﺎﺌﻕ.. ﻭﺠﻠﺴـﺕ ﻓـﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻘﻌـﺩ ﺍﻟﺨﻠﻔـﻰ‬ ‫ﻭ"ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ "ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺎﻗﻰ.. ﺒﻴﻨﻤﺎ ﺍﺴﺘﻘﺭ "ﺃﺤﻤﺩ "‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺴﺎﻕ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ .."‬ ‫ﻫﻤﺴﺕ ﻟﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ:‬ ‫ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻀﻡ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻯ .‬ ‫ﻓﻘﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ ﻤﺘﺭﺩﺩﺍ:‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻻ ﺩﺍﻋﻰ ﻻﺤﺘﻀﺎﻨﻬﺎ .‬ ‫ﺍﻨﻔﺠﺭﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻜـﺎﺀ.. ﻓﻤﺴـﺤﺕ‬ ‫ﺒﻴﺩﻯ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺭﺃﺴﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ:‬ ‫ﺘﻤﺎﻟﻜﻰ ﺃﻋﺼﺎﺒﻙ .‬
  46. 46. ‫ﻓﻘﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ:‬ ‫ﺼﺩﺭﻯ ﻴﺄﻜﻠﻨﻰ .‬ ‫ﻭﻋﺎﺩﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻜﺎﺀ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ:‬ ‫ﻜﻴﻑ ﻻ ﺃﺴـﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺤﺘﻀـﻥ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﺃﻀﻤﻬﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺼﺩﺭﻯ؟ ﻜﻴﻑ؟..‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ:‬ ‫ﻗﺩ ﻴﺅﻟﻤﻬﺎ ﺫﻟﻙ .‬ ‫ﺴﺄﻟﺘﻨﻰ:‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺨﻁﻴﺭﺓ.. ﺃﻟﻴﺱ ﻜﺫﻟﻙ؟‬ ‫ﺤﺎﻭﻟﺕ‬ ‫ﺘﻅﺎﻫﺭﺕ ﺒﻌﺩﻡ ﺴﻤﺎﻉ ﺴﺅﺍﻟﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻤﺩﺍﻋﺒﺔ "ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ .."ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻬﺎ ﻋﺎﺩﺕ ﺘﻠـﺢ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺅﺍل..‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ ﺒﻀﺭﺍﻋﺔ:‬ ‫ﺃﺭﺠـﻭﻙ.. ﺍﺤـﻙ ﻟـﻰ ﻜـل ﺸـﻰﺀ‬ ‫ِ ـ ـ ـ‬ ‫ـ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﺘﻔﺼﻴل..‬ ‫ﻜﻨﺎ ﻗﺩ ﺍﻗﺘﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻁﺭﻴﻕ ﺍﻟﺼﺤﺭﺍﻭﻯ..‬ ‫ﻭﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﺘﻠﻔﻅﻨﺎ..‬
  47. 47. ‫:ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺘﻨﻅﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻅﻼﻡ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺯﺠﺎﺝ ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ:‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻋﺭﻀﻨﺎﻫﺎ‬ ‫ﻻ ﺃﺼﺩﻕ ﻤﺎ ﺤﺩﺙ..‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻓﻰ ﻟﻨﺩﻥ ﺃﻜﺩ ﻨﺠﺎﺡ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ..‬ ‫ﻜﻴﻑ ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻌﻭﺩ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺒﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻋﺔ؟‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ:‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﻟﺞ ﻫﻨﺎ ﺃﺒـﺩﻯ ﺍﺴـﺘﻐﺭﺍﺒﻪ‬ ‫ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﺍﺭﺘﺩﺍﺩ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ:‬ ‫ﻭﻜﻴﻑ ﺴﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻋﻭﺩﺘﻬـﺎ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﻟﻨﺩﻥ؟‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ:‬ ‫ﻷﺴﺒﺎﺏ ﻁﺒﻴـﺔ ﺍﺴـﺘﺒﻌﺩﺕ ﺍﻟﺠﺭﺍﺤـﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻹﺸﻌﺎﻋﻰ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ.. ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜـﻥ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻨـﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﺩﺍﻴـﺔ ﻜﺎﻨـﺕ‬ ‫ﺴﻭﻯ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ..‬ ‫ﻟﺩﺭﺠـﺔ ﺃﻨـﻪ ﺒﻌـﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻨﺘﺎﺌﺞ ﻤﺸﺠﻌﺔ ﻟﻠﻐﺎﻴﺔ..‬
  48. 48. ‫ﺍﻟﺠﺭﻋﺔ ﺍﻟﺭﺍﺒﻌﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺘﻘﻠﺹ ﺤﺠﻡ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻓﺠﺄﺓ ﺒﺩﺃ ﺤﺠﻡ ﺍﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﻓﻰ‬ ‫ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻨﺼﻑ..‬ ‫ﺍﻻﺯﺩﻴﺎﺩ ﻤﺭﺓ ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﺭﻏﻡ ﺍﺴﺘﻤﺭﺍﺭ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻁﻌﺘﻨﻰ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ":‬ ‫ﻭﻤﺎ ﺘﻔﺴﻴﺭ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻟﻬﺫﻩ ﺍﻻﻨﺘﻜﺎﺴﺔ؟!‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ:‬ ‫- ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻗﺎل ﺃﻨـﻪ ﺭﺒﻤـﺎ ﺍﺴـﺘﻁﺎﻋﺕ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺨﻼﻴﺎ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﻋﻤل ﺩﻓﺎﻉ ﻀﺩ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻨـﻭﻉ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ.. ﻟﺫﻟﻙ ﻗﺭﺭ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴـﺏ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﻗﻑ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻨﻭﻉ ﻭﺍﻟﺒﺤﺙ ﻋﻥ ﺒﺩﻴل ﺁﺨﺭ‬ ‫.. ﻗﺎل ﺃﻨﻪ ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻴﺴﺘﺨﺩﻡ ﺍﻜﺜﺭ ﻤﻥ ﻨـﻭﻉ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ ﻟﺘﻼﻓﻰ ﺤـﺩﻭﺙ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻷﻤـﺭ‬ ‫ﺜﺎﻨﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﺴﺄﻟﺘﻨﻰ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ:‬ ‫ﻤﺘﻰ ﺴﻴﺒﺩﺃ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﺠﺩﻴﺩ؟..‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ:‬ ‫ﺨﻼل ﺃﻴﺎﻡ . . . .‬
  49. 49. ‫ﻭﺤﺎﻭل ﺃﺒﻰ ﺘﻐﻴﻴﺭ ﺍﺘﺠـﺎﻩ ﺍﻟﺤـﺩﻴﺙ..‬ ‫ﻭﺃﺴﺘﺩﺍﺭ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺨﻠﻑ ﻤﺨﺎﻁﺒﺎ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ":‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫-ﺍﻷﻭﻻﺩ ﻜﺒﺭﻭﺍ‬ ‫ﻓﺭﺩﺕ "ﺃﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺒﺂﻟﻴﺔ:‬ ‫ﺁﻩ.. ﻜﺒﺭﻭﺍ‬ ‫ﻭﺘﺒ ـﺎﺩل ﺃﺒ ـﻰ ﻤ ـﻊ ﻴﺎﺴ ـﻤﻴﻥ ﺤ ـﺩﻴﺜﺎ‬ ‫ـ ﹰ‬ ‫ـ‬ ‫ـ ـ‬ ‫ـ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻹﻨﺠﻠﻴﺯﻴﺔ.. ﻭﺃﺼﻠﺤﺕ ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻟﺠﺩﻫﺎ ﻨﻁـﻕ‬ ‫ﺒﻌﺽ ﺍﻟﻜﻠﻤـﺎﺕ ﺍﻹﻨﺠﻠﻴﺯﻴـﺔ.. ﻓﻌﻠـﻕ ﺃﺒـﻰ‬ ‫ﻀﺎﺤﻜﺎ.. ﻭﻤﺤﺎﻭﻻ ﺇﺨﻔﺎﺀ ﺠﻭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﺡ .‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﻭﻻﺩ ﺃﺼﺒﺤﻭﺍ ﻜﺄﻭﻻﺩ ﺍﻹﻨﺠﻠﻴﺯ ..‬ ‫ﻓﺭﺩﺕ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻭﻫﻰ ﺴﺎﻫﻤﺔ:‬ ‫ﺃﺴﺎﺘﺫﺘﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻤﺘﻔﻭﻗﺔ ﻓﻰ ﺩﺭﺍﺴﺘﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻴﺤﺒﻭﻨﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻕ ﺃﺒﻰ:‬ ‫ﻤﺎ ﺸﺎﺀ ﺍﷲ ……‬ ‫ﻨﺎﻡ ﺍﻷﻭﻻﺩ.. ﻭﺠﻠﻠﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﺼﻤﺕ.. ﺘﺒﺎﺩﻟﺕ‬ ‫ﻤﻊ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺕ ﺨﺭﺴﺎﺀ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻨﻅﺭﺍﺘﻨﺎ‬
  50. 50. ‫ﺘﻠﺘﻘﻰ ﺜﻡ ﺘﻬﺭﺏ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻅﻼﻡ ﺍﻟﻤﺤﻴﻁ ﺒﻨﺎ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺨﻼل ﺯﺠﺎﺝ ﺍﻟﺴﻴﺎﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﻫﻤﺴﺕ ﻟﻰ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ :"‬ ‫ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺼﺩﺭﻯ ﻴﺄﻜﻠﻨﻰ ﻜﻠﻤﺎ ﺘﺼـﻭﺭﺕ‬ ‫ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻟﻥ ﺃﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺍﺤﺘﻀﺎﻥ ﺃﻤﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﻋﺎﺩﺕ ﻟﻠﺒﻜﺎﺀ‬ ‫ﻓﻘﻠﺕ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺒﺭﻓﻕ:‬ ‫ﺇﺫﺍ ﺭﺃﺘﻙ ﺃﻤﻙ ﻤﻨﻬـﺎﺭﺓ ﻫﻜـﺫﺍ ﻓﺴـﻭﻑ‬ ‫…ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻗﺎل ﺇﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟـﺔ‬ ‫ﺘﻔﺴﺩﻴﻥ ﻜل ﺸﻰﺀ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻨﻔﺴﻴﺔ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺘﺄﺜﻴﺭ ﻜﺒﻴﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻨﺠﺎﺡ ﺍﻟﻌـﻼﺝ..‬ ‫ﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﺘﻤﺎﺴﻙ ﺃﻤﺎﻤﻬﺎ ﻭﻻ ﻨﺸـﻌﺭﻫﺎ ﺒﺨﻁـﻭﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ.. ﺇﺫﺍ ﺍﻨﻬﺎﺭﺕ ﻤﻌﻨﻭﻴﺎ ﻓﻼ ﺠـﺩﻭﻯ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ . . . .‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻔﺕ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺇﻟﻰ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻭﺴﺄﻟﻬﺎ:‬ ‫ﻜﻴﻑ ﺤﺎل ﺯﻭﺠﻙ؟‬ ‫ﻓﺄﺠﺎﺒﺕ :‬ ‫ﺒﺨﻴﺭ.. ﺒﺨﻴﺭ‬ ‫ﺜﻡ ﺍﺴﺘﺴﻠﻤﻨﺎ ﺠﻤﻴﻌﺎ ﻟﻠﺼﻤﺕ.. .. ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬
  51. 51. ‫: ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻭﺼﻠﻨﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻴﺕ ﻭﺠﺩﻨﺎ ﺼﻔﺎﺀ‬ ‫ﺘﻨﺘﻅﺭﻨﺎ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺒﻠﻜﻭﻨﺔ.. ﻭﻜﺎﻨـﺕ ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ ﻗـﺩ‬ ‫ﺃﻴﻘﻅﺕ ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﺤﻤﺩ ﻋﻨﺩ ﻤﺩﺨل ﺍﻹﺴﻜﻨﺩﺭﻴﺔ‬ ‫ﻓﺼﻌﺩﺍ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻟﻡ ﻭﻫﻤﺎ ﻴﺤﺩﺜﺎﻥ ﻀﺠﺔ ﻀـﺎﻋﻔﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﺴﻜﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﻠﻴل.. ﺍﻨﺘﻬﺭﺘﻤﺎ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻭﺃﻤﺭﺘﻬﻤﺎ ﺒﻌـﺩﻡ‬ ‫ﺇﺤﺩﺍﺙ ﺃﺼﻭﺍﺕ..‬ ‫ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺩﺨﻠﺕ "ﺴـﻤﺎﺀ "ﺇﻟـﻰ ﺍﻟﺸـﻘﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﺤﺘﻀﻨﺕ ﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﻭﻫﻰ ﺘﺒﺤﺙ ﺒﺒﺼـﺭﻫﺎ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺃﺭﺠﺎﺀ ﺍﻟﺸﻘﺔ.. ﻭﺴﺄﻟﺕ ﺃﺨﺘﻬﺎ ﺒﻠﻬﻔﺔ:‬ ‫ﺃﻴﻥ ﺃﻤﻰ؟‬ ‫ﻓﺄﺠﺎﺒﺘﻬﺎ "ﺼﻔﺎﺀ":‬ ‫ﻟﻡ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻊ ﺍﻟﺴﻬﺭ.. ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﻟـﻰ ﺃﻭﻗﻅﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺘﺼﻠﻴﻥ..‬ ‫ﻓﻘﺎﻟﺕ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ :"‬ ‫ﺴﺄﻭﻗﻅﻬﺎ ﺒﻨﻔﺴﻰ..‬
  52. 52. ‫ﻭﻨﺒﻬﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﺤﻤﺩ ﺒﺎﻟﺒﻘﺎﺀ‬ ‫ﻭﺘﻘـﺩﻤﺕ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻤﻜﺎﻨﻬﻤﺎ ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﺇﺤﺩﺍﺙ ﻀﺠﺔ..‬ ‫ﺃﻀـﺎﺀﺕ ﻨـﻭﺭ‬ ‫ﻤﻊ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻏﺭﻓﺔ ﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻐﺭﻓﺔ.. ﻭﺍﻤﺘﺩﺕ ﻴﺩ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺘﻬﺯ ﺠﺴـﺩ ﺃﻤﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﺒﺭﻓﻕ.. ﺃﻀﻁﺭﺒﺕ ﺭﻤﻭﺵ ﺃﻤﻰ.. ﺍﺒﺘﺴـﻤﺕ‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﺕ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ.. ﺤﺎﻭﻟﺕ ﺍﻟﻨﻬﻭﺽ.. ﺃﺒﻘﺘﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﺜﻡ ﺍﻨﺤﻨـﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﺴﻤﺎﺀ ﺒﺤﺭﻜﺔ ﻤﻥ ﻴﺩﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻭﻗﺒﻠﺘﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻟـ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ :"‬ ‫ﺨﺸﻴﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻤﻭﺕ ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺭﺍﻙ..‬ ‫ﻓﺭﺒﺘﺕ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻋﻠﻰ ﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ:‬ ‫ﻟﻙ ﻁﻭل ﺍﻟﻌﻤﺭ ﻴﺎ ﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﻭﺃﺒﺩﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺭﻏﺒﺘﻬﺎ ﻓـﻰ ﺍﻟﺠﻠـﻭﺱ..‬ ‫ﺴﺎﻋﺩﻨﺎﻫﺎ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺠﻠﻭﺱ ﻭﻭﻀﻌﻨﺎ ﻤﺴﻨﺩﺍ ﻭﺭﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻅﻬﺭﻫﺎ.. ﻭﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻭﺃﺤﻤﺩ ﻴﻨﺎﺩﻴﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻴﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﺼﺎﻟﺔ.. ﻓﻀﺤﻜﺕ ﻭﻨﺎﺩﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻤﺎ..‬ ‫ﺠﺎﺀﺍ ﺒﺴﺭﻋﺔ.. ﺘﻘﺎﻓﺯﺍ ﺤﻭل ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻴﺭ.. ﻗـﺒﻼ‬ ‫ﺠﺩﺘﻬﻤﺎ.. ﻜﻨﺎ ﻗﺩ ﻨﺒﻬﻨﺎ ﻋﻠﻴﻬﻤﺎ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺍﺤﺘﻀﺎﻨﻬﺎ..‬
  53. 53. ‫ﺃﺸﺎﺭﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻤﻭﻀـﻊ ﺍﻟـﻭﺭﻡ..‬ ‫ﻭﻜﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻌﺘـﺫﺭ ﻋـﻥ ﻋـﺩﻡ ﻗـﺩﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﻋﻠـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﺤﺘﻀﺎﻨﻬﻡ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻟـ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺒﺄﺴﻰ:‬ ‫…‬ ‫ﺃﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﻴﺎ ﺴﻤﺎﺀ‬ ‫ِ‬ ‫ﻗﺒﻠﺘﻬﺎ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻭﻗﺎﻟﺕ:‬ ‫ﺴﺘﺸﻔﻴﻥ ﻴﺎ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻥ ﺸﺎﺀ ﺍﷲ …‬ ‫ﻓﺎﺒﺘﺴﻤﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺍﺒﺘﺴـﺎﻤﺔ ﻤﻭﺠﻌـﺔ ..‬ ‫ﺍﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﻏﺭﻴﺒﺔ ﻭﺘﻌﺒﻴﺭ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻭﺠـﻪ ﻴﺼـﻌﺏ‬ ‫ﻭﺼﻔﻪ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻪ ﻴﺴﺘﻘﺭ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﻠﺏ ﻜﺴﻜﻴﻥ ﺤـﺎﺩ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺸﻔﺭﺓ.. ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻻﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﻟﻡ ﺃﻨﺴﺎﻫﺎ ﻤﻨـﺫ‬ ‫ﺜﻤﺎﻨﻰ ﺴﻨﻭﺍﺕ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺍﻜﺘﺸـﻔﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﻤـﺭﺽ ﻷﻭل‬ ‫ﺍﺒﺘﺴﻤﺕ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻻﺒﺘﺴﺎﻤﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﺠﻌﺔ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ‬ ‫ﻤﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﻜﻨﺎ ﻨﺤﺩﺜﻬﺎ ﻋﻥ ﺴﻬﻭﻟﺔ ﺍﻟﺸﻔﺎﺀ.. ﺍﺤﺘﺭﺕ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﻤﻌﺎﻥ ﻜﺜﻴـﺭﺓ ﻟﻬـﺫﻩ ﺍﻻﺒﺘﺴـﺎﻤﺔ: ﺍﻻﺴﺘﺴـﻼﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻁﻠﻕ.. ﺍﻟﺘﺤﺫﻴﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﺨﺩﺍﻉ.. ﺍﻟﺤـﺯﻥ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺒﻜﺎﺀ.. ﺍﻟﺭﻀﺎ ﺒﺎﻟﻘﻀﺎﺀ …‬
  54. 54. ‫ﺘﺭﻜﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻤﻊ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﻭﺨﺭﺠﺕ ﺇﻟـﻰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﺎﻟﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﺃﺒﻰ ﻴﺠﻠﺱ ﺴﺎﻫﻤﺎ …‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻷﺒﻰ:‬ ‫"ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺠﺎﺀﺕ ﻓﻰ ﻤﻭﻋﺩﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﻓﻘﺎل ﺩﻭﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻠﺘﻔﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ:‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺕ ﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﻥ ﺤـﺩﺩ ﻤﻭﻋـﺩ‬ ‫ﺃﻋﺭﻑ..‬ ‫ﺤﻀﻭﺭﻫﺎ..‬ ‫ﺴﺄﻟﺘﻪ:‬ ‫ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﺘﻘﺼﺩ؟‬ ‫ﻗﺎل ﻭﻗﺩ ﺍﻟﺘﻔﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ:‬ ‫-ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﺸﻴﺎﺀ ﻟﻡ ﺃﻗﻠﻬﺎ ﻟﻜﻡ.. ﻟﻘﺩ ﺤﺩﺩﺕ‬ ‫ﻤﻭﻋﺩ ﺤﻀﻭﺭ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺒﻨﺎﺀ ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫ﺘﻘﺩﻴﺭﺍﺕ ﻁﺒﻴﺔ ﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﻟﻡ ﺃﺸﺎﺀ ﺃﻥ ﺃﺴﺎﻟﻪ ﻋﻥ ﺘﻠﻙ ﺍﻟﺘﻘـﺩﻴﺭﺍﺕ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﺩﻗﻴﻘﺔ.. ﻜﻨﺕ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻨﺤـﻭ ﻏـﺎﻤﺽ‬ ‫ﺃﺩﺭﺍﻙ ﻤﺎ ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﺒﺭﻨﻰ ﺒﻪ..‬
  55. 55. ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺠﺎﺀﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﺎﻫﺭﺓ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻓﺸل‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﻴﺎﺌﻰ ﺒﺩﺍ ﻜل ﺸﻰ ﻭﺍﻀـﺤﺎ.. ﻟـﻡ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﻜﻥ ﻗﺎﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺼﻌﻭﺩ ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻟﻡ.. ﺃﺤﻀﺭﻨﺎ ﻟﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﻜﺭﺴﻴﺎ.. ﺘﺼﻌﺩ ﺒﻀﻊ ﺴـﻠﻤﺎﺕ ﺜـﻡ ﺘﺠﻠـﺱ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻟﺘﺴﺘﺭﻴﺢ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺼﻔﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﺕ ﺘﻌﻠﻭ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻴﻭﻤﻬﺎ ﺃﻴﻘﻨﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺍﻟﻨﻬﺎﻴﺔ ﻭﺸﻴﻜﺔ …‬ ‫ﻴﻭﻤﻬﺎ ﺃﻏﻠﻘﺕ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻨﻔﺴـﻰ ﺒـﺎﺏ‬ ‫ﻏﺭﻓﺘﻰ.. ﻭﺒﻜﻴﺕ ﺒﻜﺎﺀ ﻤﺭﺍ …‬ ‫‪ ‬ﹰ‬
  56. 56. ‫- 02 -‬ ‫: ﻫل ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤـﻭﺩ ﻤـﺎﺫﺍ ﻗﺎﻟـﺕ‬ ‫ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺃﺭﺩﺍﺕ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺼﻑ ﺠﺩﺘﻬﺎ؟ …‬ ‫ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﻗﺎﻟﺕ:‬ ‫ﺠﺩﺘﻰ ﻤﺜل ﻗﻁﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ . . .‬ ‫ﻗﻁﻌﺔ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ ..!!‬ ‫ﺘﺼﻭﺭ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻭﺠﺩﺕ ﺘﺸﺒﻴﻪ ﻴﺎﺴﻤﻴﻥ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ‬ ‫ﺭﻭﻋﺔ ﻭﺒﻼﻏﺔ ﻤﻥ ﺃﻯ ﻭﺼﻑ ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺼﻔﻪ‬ ‫ﻨﺤﻥ ﺍﻟﻜﺒﺎﺭ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻨﻴﺔ ﻫﻰ ﺃﺒﺭﺯ ﻤﺎ ﻴﻤﻴﺯ ﺃﻤﻰ..‬ ‫ﺒﻴﺎﺽ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ.. ﻨﻌﻭﻤﺘﻪ.. ﻗﺩﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻻﻤﺘﺼﺎﺹ.. ﺤﻨﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﻭﺼﻑ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ ﺒﺎﻟﺤﻨﺎﻥ؟ ..!ﻻ‬ ‫ﺃﺩﺭﻯ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨﻰ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﻪ ﻫﻜﺫﺍ.. ﻫﺸﺎﺸـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ ﻭﺭﻗﺘﻪ.. ﺼﺩﻕ ﺍﻟﻘﻁﻥ.. ﺒﻴﺎﺽ ﺍﻟﻘﻁـﻥ‬ ‫ﻫـل ﺃﺩﺭﻜـﺕ ﻴﺎﺴـﻤﻴﻥ‬ ‫ﻴﺸﻌﺭﻙ ﺒﺎﻟﺼﺩﻕ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﻐﻴﺭﺓ ﻜل ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﻨﻰ؟ ..!‬
  57. 57. ‫ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺤﻴل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻀﺒﻁ ﺃﻤـﻰ ﻤﺘﻠﺒﺴـﺔ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻜﺫﺏ.. ﺒﺒﺴﺎﻁﺔ ﻷﻨﻬﺎ ﻻ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻜﺫﺏ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺤﺎﻭل ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘﻭل ﺸﻴﺌﺎ ﻤـﻥ ﻭﺭﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺒﻬﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﻴﺤﻤﺭ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ.. ﻭﺘﺘﻭﻗﻑ ﻋـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻜﻼﻡ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻏـﺎﺭ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻨﻘﺎﺀ ..! !‬ ‫ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﻏﻀﺏ ﺒﺸﺩﺓ ﺇﺫﺍ ﻤﺎ ﺼﺩﺭ ﻤﻨﻬﺎ ﻤﺎ‬ ‫ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻤﺱ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻨﻘﺎﺀ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻤﺘﻠﻙ ﻗﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﺒﻘﺭﻴﺔ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺇﻨﻜـﺎﺭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺫﺍﺕ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺅﺜﺭﻨﺎ ﺒﻜل ﺸﻰﺀ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﺃﺒـﻰ‬ ‫ﻴﺭﻓﺽ ﺸﺭﺍﺀ ﺸﻰﺀ ﺃﻁﻠﺒﻪ ﺃﻴﺎﻡ ﺍﻟﺩﺭﺍﺴﺔ؟..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺨﺭﺝ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﻠﻎ ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺼﺹ ﻟﺸـﺭﺍﺀ‬ ‫ﻜﺴﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﻭﺘﻌﻁﻴﻪ ﻟـﻰ.. ﺍﻟﻤﺒﻠـﻎ ﺍﻟﻤﺨﺼـﺹ‬ ‫ﻟﻜﺴﻭﺘﻬﺎ ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻟﻬﺎ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ.. ﻜﺎﻥ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﻠﻎ ﺃﻤﺎ‬ ‫ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻨﺼﻴﺒﻰ.. ﺃﻭ ﻤﻥ ﻨﺼﻴﺏ "ﺴﻤﺎﺀ "ﺃﻭ‬ ‫"ﺼﻔﺎﺀ .."ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﺃﺒﺩﺍ ﻤﻥ ﻨﺼﻴﺒﻬﺎ.. .‬
  58. 58. ‫- 12 -‬ ‫: ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺩﺨﻠﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻤﺭﺤﻠـﺔ ﺍﻵﻻﻡ ﻟـﻡ‬ ‫ﺘﻜﻥ ﺘﺸﻜﻭ.. .. ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺭﺩﺩ ﺁﻴﺔ ﻗﺭﺁﻨﻴﺔ ﻭﺍﺤـﺩﺓ..‬ ‫ﻭﻜﺄﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻵﻴﺔ ﻫـﻰ ﺒﻠﺴـﻤﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺸـﺎﻓﻰ.. ﺃﻭ‬ ‫ﻤﻼﻜﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﺭﺱ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺭﺩﺩ:‬ ‫"- ﺭﺏ ﺇﻨﻰ ﻤﺴﻨﻰ ﺍﻟﻀﺭ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ ﺃﺭﺤﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺭﺍﺤﻤﻴﻥ … "‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﺘﺫﻜﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻟﺴﺎﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻭﺭﺩ‬ ‫ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺩﻋﺎﺀ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻘﺭﺁﻥ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﺩﻋﺎﺀ ﺃﻴﻭﺏ..‬ ‫ﺘﺭﻯ ﻤـﺎ ﻫـﻰ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﻗـﺔ ﺒـﻴﻥ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﻭﺃﻴﻭﺏ؟!..‬ ‫ﻫل ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﺘﻤﺜل ﺃﻴﻭﺏ؟!..‬ ‫ﺍﻜﺘﺸﻔﺕ ﺃﻥ ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻷﻴﻭﺒﻴﺔ ﻤﺘﺠـﺫﺭﺓ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﺤﻴﺎﺘﻬﺎ..‬
  59. 59. ‫ﺤﻴﺭﺘﻨﻰ ﻤﺴﺎﻟﺔ ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻨﻬﺎ.. ﻟﻭ ﻜﺎﻥ ﺍﻷﻴﻤﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﺒﻜﺜﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﻌﻠﻡ ﻭﺍﻻﻁﻼﻉ ﻟﻤﺎ ﺸﻌﺭﺕ ﺒﺘﻀـﺎﺅل‬ ‫ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻨﻰ ﺒﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻨﻬﺎ.. ﻜﻨﺕ ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺄﻨﻬﺎ ﺘﻔﻬﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻴﻥ ﻭﺍﻷﻴﻤﺎﻥ ﺃﻋﻤﻕ ﻤﻨﻰ ﺭﻏﻡ ﻜﺜـﺭﺕ ﻤـﺎ‬ ‫ﻗﺭﺃﺕ ﻭﻋﻠﻤﺕ.. ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺼـﺒﺭ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﺍﻵﻻﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺭﺤﺔ ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﺍﻟﺘﺸﻜﻰ ﻻ ﻴﻤﻜﻥ ﺇﻻ ﺃﻥ ﻴﺴـﺘﻨﺩ‬ ‫ﺇﻟﻰ ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻥ ﺭﺍﺴﺦ.. ﺇﻴﻤﺎﻥ ﻓﻁﺭﻯ ﻋﻤﻴﻕ.. ﻟﻘﺩ‬ ‫ﺭﺃﻴﺕ ﺃﻨﺎﺱ ﻴﻔﻘﺩﻫﻡ ﺍﻷﻟﻡ ﺼـﻭﺍﺒﻬﻡ ﺇﻟـﻰ ﺤـﺩ‬ ‫ﻓﻤـﺎ ﺒﺎﻟـﻙ ﺒـﺎﻵﻻﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻻﻋﺘﺭﺍﺽ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﷲ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻨﻴﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺭﺤﺔ.. ﻓﻘﻁ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻭﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﻴﺘﻘﻠﺹ‬ ‫ﺜﻡ ﺘﺘﻠﻭﺍ ﺍﻟﺩﻋﺎﺀ: " ﺭﺏ ﺃﻨﻰ ﻤﺴﻨﻰ ﺍﻟﻀﺭ ﻭﺃﻨﺕ‬ ‫ﺃﺭﺤﻡ ﺍﻟﺭﺍﺤﻤﻴﻥ .."‬ ‫ﻭﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﺯﻭل ﺍﻷﻟﻡ ﻴﻌﻭﺩ ﺃﻟﻴﻬﺎ ﻭﺠﻬﻬـﺎ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺒﺎﺴﻡ ﺒﻁﺒﻴﻌﺘﻪ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﻟﻰ ﻴﻭﻤﺎ:‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﻴﺯﻭل ﺍﻷﻟﻡ.. ﻻ ﻴﻬﻤﻨﻰ ﺸﻰﺀ‬ ‫ﺘﻜﻠﻤﺕ ﻤـﻊ ﺃﺒـﻰ ﻓـﻰ ﻤﻭﻀـﻭﻉ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺴﻜﻨﺎﺕ..‬
  60. 60. ‫ﻗﺎل ﻟﻰ ﺃﺒﻰ:‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺴﻜﻨﺎﺕ ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺘﺅﺨﺫ ﺒﺤﺴـﺎﺏ.. ﺇﺫﺍ‬ ‫ﻭﻗـﺕ ﻻ‬ ‫ﺒﺩﺃﻨﺎ ﺒﻤﺴﻜﻨﺎﺕ ﻗﻭﻴﺔ ﻓﺴﻴﺄﺘﻰ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ‬ ‫ﻨﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﻓﻴﻪ ﺘﺴﻜﻴﻥ ﺁﻻﻤﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﺸﺭﺡ ﻟﻰ ﺃﺒﻰ ﺍﻟﺨﻁـﺔ ﺍﻟﺘـﻰ ﻭﻀـﻌﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻻﺸﺘﺭﺍﻙ ﻤﻊ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﻟﺞ.. ﻭﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺘﺒـﺩﺃ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻷﺴﺒﺭﻴﻥ ﻭﺘﺘﺩﺭﺝ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺘﺼل ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻭﺭﻓﻴﻥ .‬ ‫...‬
  61. 61. ‫- 22 -‬ ‫: ﻫل ﺃﻁﻠﺕ ﻋﻠﻴﻙ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ؟..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﺄﺨﺭ ﺒﻙ ﺍﻟﻭﻗﺕ؟ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﻤﻤﻜﻥ ﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﻨﻜﻤل ﻏﺩﺍ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺤﺴﻨﺎ.. ﺤﺴﻨﺎ.. ﺴﺄﻜﻤل ﻁﺎﻟﻤﺎ ﺘﺭﻏـﺏ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺴﻤﺎﻋﻰ..‬ ‫ﻜﺎﻥ ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ ﺃﻥ ﻨﺩﺨل ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸـﻔﻰ ﻤـﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﺃﺨﺭﻯ ﻟﺘﺄﺨﺫ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﻜﻴﻤﺎﺌﻰ ﺍﻟﺠﺩﻴـﺩ..‬ ‫ﻗﺭﺭ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺃﻥ ﻴﻜﻭﻥ ﺨﻠﻴﻁﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻋﺩﺓ ﺃﺩﻭﻴـﺔ‬ ‫ﻟﻤﻨﻊ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻤﻥ ﻋﻤل ﺩﻓﺎﻉ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺤﺩﺙ ﻤـﻊ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻭﺍﺀ ﺍﻟﺴﺎﺒﻕ..‬ ‫ﻋﻨﻴﺩ ﺠﺩﺍ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ . . . .‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻨﺤﺎﺭﺒـﻪ ﻭﻴﺤﺎﺭﺒﻨـﺎ.. ﻨﺘﺤﺎﻴـل ﻋﻠﻴـﻪ‬ ‫ﻭﻴﺘﺤﺎﻴل ﻋﻠﻴﻨﺎ..‬ ‫ﻭﺤﺵ ﻤﺨﻴﻑ ﻤﺎﻜﺭ..‬ ‫ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﻪ ﻜﻭﺤﺵ ﺤﻘﻴﻘﻰ ﻭﻟﻴﺱ ﻤﻥ ﻗﺒﻴل‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺒﺎﻟﻐﺔ ﺃﻭ ﺍﻟﺒﻼﻏﺔ.. ﻭﺃﻋﺘﺭﻑ ﻟﻙ ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﺃﺨﺎﻑ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻀﺒﻁ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﻤـﻥ ﺃﻯ ﺤﻴـﻭﺍﻥ‬ ‫ﻤﻨﻪ..‬
  62. 62. ‫ﻤﺅﺫ.. ﺃﺤﻴﺎﻨﺎ ﻜﺎﻥ ﻴﻨﺘﺎﺒﻨﻰ ﻫﺎﺠﺱ ﺒﺄﻨﻪ ﻴﻤﻜـﻥ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺃﻥ ﻴﺨﺭﺝ ﻤﻥ ﺠﺴﺩ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻭﻴﻠﺘﻬﻤﻨﻰ . . .‬ ‫ﺃﺭﺠﻭﻙ ﻻ ﺘﺒﺘﺴﻡ.. ﻓﺄﻨﺎ ﻻ ﺃﻤﺯﺡ..‬ ‫ﻻﺯﻟﺕ ﻤﺭﺘﻌﺏ ﻤﻨﻪ ﺤﺘـﻰ ﺃﻻﻥ.. ﻟﻘـﺩ‬ ‫ﺃﺼﺒﺢ ﻜﺎﺒﻭﺴﺎ ﻴﺘﻤﻠﻜﻨﻰ.. ﻤﻨﺫ ﻓﺘﺭﺓ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻰ‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﻫﻭﺍﺠﺱ ﺍﻹﺼﺎﺒﺔ ﺒﻪ.. ﺒﺎﻟﺫﺍﺕ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺤﻨﺠﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟﺤﻠﻕ.. ﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﺩﺨﻥ ﻜﻤﺎ ﺘﻌﻠﻡ.. ﻋﻨـﺩ ﺍﻟﻔﺠـﺭ‬ ‫ﺃﺴﺘﻴﻘﻅ ﻓﺯﻋﺎ ﻭﺃﻋﺎﻨﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺼﻌﻭﺒﺔ ﺍﻟﺘـﻨﻔﺱ..‬ ‫ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺤﻠﻘﻰ ﻤﺘﻀـﺨﻤﺎ ﻭﻤﺴـﺩﻭﺩﺍ ﺒـﺎﻟﻭﺭﻡ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻨﻰ.. ﺃﺸﻌﺭ ﺒﺎﻻﺨﺘﻨﺎﻕ ﻓﻌﻼ.. ﻭﺘـﺩﻭﺭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺩﻨﻴﺎ ﺒﻰ.. ﻭﺃﺤﺎﻭل ﺠﺎﻫﺩﺍ ﺴﺤﺏ ﺍﻟﻬﻭﺍﺀ ﺇﻟـﻰ‬ ‫ﺭﺌﺘﻰ.. ﺜﻡ ﺘﺫﻫﺏ ﺍﻷﺯﻤﺔ ﺒﻌﺩ ﻗﻠﻴـل.. ﻭﻟﻜـﻥ‬ ‫ﺸﻌﻭﺭﻯ ﺒﺎﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﻓﻰ ﺤﻠﻘﻰ ﻻ ﻴﻨﺘﻬﻰ.. ﺘﺘﻜـﺭﺭ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﺯﻤﺔ ﻴﻭﻤﻴﺎ.. ﺫﻫﺒﺕ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴـﺏ ﻭﻁﻠـﺏ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻋﻤل ﺃﺸﻌﺔ ﻤﻘﻁﻌﻴـﺔ ﻋﻠـﻰ ﻤﻨﻁﻘـﺔ ﺍﻟﺤﻠـﻕ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﺒﻌﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺭﺃﻯ ﺍﻷﺸﻌﺔ ﺃﻜﺩ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﻟﺤﻨﺠﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﺃﻨﻨﻰ ﺴﻠﻴﻡ ﺘﻤﺎﻤﺎ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻨﻨـﻰ ﻻ ﺯﻟـﺕ ﺃﺸـﻌﺭ‬ ‫ﺒﺎﻟﻭﺭﻡ ﻴﺨﻨﻘﻨﻰ . . . . . . .‬
  63. 63. ‫ﻴﺎﻩ.. ﺃﻨﺕ ﻟﻡ ﺘﺸﺭﺏ ﺍﻟﺸﺎﻯ.. ﻻﺒﺩ ﺃﻨﻪ‬ ‫ﺃﺼﺒﺢ ﻜﺎﻟﺜﻠﺞ.. ﺴﺄﺠﻌل ﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﺘﺼﻨﻊ ﻟﻨﺎ ﺸﺎﻯ‬ ‫ﺁﺨﺭ . . . .‬
  64. 64. ‫- 32 -‬ ‫:-ﻓﻰ ﺃﻭل ﺃﻴﺎﻤﻨﺎ ﺒﺎﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸـﻔﻰ ﺘﻌﺭﻓـﺕ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﺩﻜﺘﻭﺭ "ﺼﻼﺡ .. "ﻭﻓﻬﻤﺕ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺴﻴﺘﺎﺒﻊ‬ ‫ﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻓﻰ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺍﻟﺤﻜﻭﻤﻰ.. ﻟﻘـﺩ‬ ‫ﺘﺤﻭﻟﺕ ﻋﻼﻗﺘﻨﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺼﺩﺍﻗﺔ.. ﺴـﺄﻋﺭﻓﻙ ﺒـﻪ‬ ‫ﺤﺘﻤﺎ.. ﻷﻭل ﻭﻫﻠﺔ ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻟﻥ ﻴﺯﻴﺩ ﻓﻰ ﻨﻅـﺭﻙ‬ ‫ﻓﻤﻅﻬﺭﻩ ﻴﺘﻨـﺎﻓﺭ ﻤـﻊ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ ﻜﻭﻨﻪ ﺘﻭﻤﺭﺠﻴﺎ..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﻅﻬﺭ ﺍﻟﺘﻘﻠﻴﺩﻯ ﻟﻸﻁﺒـﺎﺀ.. ﻓﻌـﻼﻭﺓ ﻋﻠـﻰ‬ ‫ﺒﺴﺎﻁﺔ ﻤﻼﺒﺴﻪ ﻭﻋﺩﻡ ﺘﻨﺎﺴﻘﻬﺎ ﻭﺴﻤﺭﺘﻪ ﺍﻟﻐﺎﻤﻘﺔ‬ ‫ﻭﺸﻌﺭﻩ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﻜﻭﺵ.. ﻴﺘﻤﻴﺯ ﺒﺒﺴﺎﻁﺔ ﺸﺩﻴﺩﺓ ﻨﺎﺩﺭﺓ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺍﻷﻁﺒﺎﺀ.. ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺯﺍﺭ ﺃﻤﻰ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻴﻭﻡ ﺍﻷﻭل‬ ‫ﺍﺼﻁﺤﺒﺘﻪ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺨﺎﺭﺝ ﺍﻟﻐﺭﻓﺔ..‬ ‫ﻭﺴﺄﻟﺘﻪ:‬ ‫ﻤﺎ ﺭﺃﻴﻙ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﻴﺎ ﺩﻜﺘﻭﺭ؟..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل:‬ ‫- ﺍﻟﺤﺎﻟﺔ ﻓﻰ ﻤﺭﺤﻠﺔ ﻤﺘﻘﺩﻤﺔ..‬ ‫ﺴﺄﻟﺕ :‬ ‫ﻫل ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺃﻤل؟..‬ ‫ﺃﺠﺎﺒﻨﻰ:‬
  65. 65. ‫ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﺩﺍﺌﻤﺎ ﻗﺩﺭ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻷﻤل..‬ ‫ﻓﺴﺄﻟﺘﻪ:‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﺭﻯ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟـﺫﻯ ﺘﺘﻠﻘـﺎﻩ ﺃﻤـﻰ‬ ‫ﻤﻨﺎﺴﺒﹰ؟‬ ‫ﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻭﺠﺩﺘﻪ ﻴﻨﻅﺭ ﻟﻰ ﺒﺤﻴﺭﺓ..‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻪ ﻤﺸﺠﻌﺎ:‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫-ﻜﻥ ﺼﺭﻴﺤﺎ.. ﻻ ﺘﻘﻠﻕ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل :‬ ‫-ﻻ ﻴﻭﺠﺩ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺃﻻﻥ ﻋﻼﺝ ﻟﻠﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﺼﻌﻘﺘﻨﻰ ﺇﺠﺎﺒﺘﻪ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ.. ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﺘﻠـﻙ‬ ‫ﺁﺨﺭ ﺃﺠﺎﺒﻪ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻌﻬﺎ ﻤﻥ ﻁﺒﻴﺏ ﻤﺘﺨﺼﺹ ﻓـﻰ‬ ‫ﻋﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻪ ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﻤﺎ ﺯﻟﺕ ﺃﻋﺎﻨﻰ ﻤﻥ ﺍﻟﺩﻫﺸﺔ :‬ ‫ﺇﺫ ﻟﻡ ﻴﻜﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻋﻼﺝ ﻓﻤﺎ ﺍﻟﺫﻯ ﺘﻔﻌﻠﻭﻨﻪ‬ ‫ﻤﻊ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﻀﻰ؟ ..!ﻫل ﺘﺨﺩﻋﻭﻨﻬﻡ؟ !‬ ‫ﺃﺠﺎﺏ ﺒﺒﺴﺎﻁﺔ:‬ ‫-ﻜل ﻤﺎ ﻨﻔﻌﻠﻪ ﻫﻭ ﻤﺤﺎﻭﻻﺕ.. ﻤﺠـﺭﺩ‬ ‫ﻤﺤﺎﻭﻻﺕ..‬
  66. 66. ‫ﺴﻜﺕ ﻗﻠﻴﻼ ﺜﻡ ﺃﻜﻤل:‬ ‫ﻋﻼﺝ ﺃﻯ ﻤﺭﺽ ﻴﻌﻨﻰ ﺍﺒﺘﺩﺍﺀ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌﺭﻑ‬ ‫ﺇﺫﺍ ﻟﻡ ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻌـﺭﻑ ﺃﺴـﺒﺎﺏ‬ ‫ﺃﺴﺒﺎﺒﻪ..‬ ‫ﺘﺴﺘﻁﻴﻊ ﺃﻥ ﺘﻘـﻭﻡ ﺒﻌـﻼﺝ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺭﺽ ﻓﻠﻥ‬ ‫ﺼﺤﻴﺢ.. ﻤﺎ ﻨﺴﻤﻴﻪ ﺍﻵﻥ ﻋﻼﺠـﺎ ﻫـﻭ ﻗﺘـل‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﻟﻠﺨﻼﻴﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﻴﻀﺔ.. ﻭﻤﻊ ﻗﺘل ﺍﻟﺨﻼﻴﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﺭﻴﻀﺔ‬ ‫ﻨﻘﺘل ﺨﻼﻴﺎ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﺴﻠﻴﻤﺔ ﻭﻨﻨﻬﻙ ﺍﻟﺠﺴﺩ ﻭﻨﻔﻘـﺩﻩ‬ ‫ﻨﺤﻥ ﻨﺘﺒـﻊ ﺃﺴـﻠﻭﺏ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﺩﺭﺓ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻟﻤﻘﺎﻭﻤﺔ..‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﺩﻤﻴﺭ ﻻ ﺃﺴﻠﻭﺏ ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﻫـﻭ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺎﺡ ﺍﻷﻥ.. ﺍﻟﻌﻼﺝ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘﻰ ﻟﻠﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﻴﺒـﺩﺃ‬ ‫ﺒﻤﻌﺭﻓﺔ ﺃﺴﺒﺎﺏ ﺤﺩﻭﺜﻪ ﻭﻜﻴﻔﻴﺔ ﺘﻜﻭﻨﻪ.. ﻻ ﺯﻟﻨﺎ‬ ‫ﻨﺠﻬل ﺫﻟﻙ ﺤﺘﻰ ﺍﻷﻥ.. ﺜـﻡ ﻴﻜـﻭﻥ ﺍﻟﻌـﻼﺝ‬ ‫ﺒﺈﻋﺎﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺨﻼﻴﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﺼﺎﺒﺔ ﺇﻟﻰ ﺤﺎﻟﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﻁﺒﻴﻌﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﺒﺩﺃ ﺫﻟﻙ ﺤﻠﻤﺎ.. ﻭﻟﻜﻥ ﻤﺎ ﺃﻜﺜﺭ ﺍﻷﺤـﻼﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺘﻰ ﺤﻘﻘﺘﻬﺎ ﺍﻟﺒﺸﺭﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻪ :‬ ‫- ﻟﻡ ﺃﺘﻭﻗﻊ ﻤﻨـﻙ ﻫـﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻘـﺩﺭ ﻤـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﺼﺭﺍﺤﺔ..‬
  67. 67. ‫ﺃﺒﺘﺴﻡ ﻭﻗﺎل:‬ ‫ﻭﺃﻨﺎ ﺃﻴﻀـﺎ ﻻ‬ ‫ﺃﻨﺕ ﻁﻠﺒﺕ ﺍﻟﺼﺭﺍﺤﺔ..‬ ‫ﺃﺤﺏ ﺍﻟﻜـﺫﺏ.. ﻻﺒـﺩ ﺃﻥ ﻨﻌـﺭﻑ ﺍﻟﺤﻘﻴﻘـﺔ‬ ‫ﻭﻨﻭﺍﺠﻬﻬﺎ ﻤﻬﻤﺎ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻤﺭﺍﺭﺘﻬﺎ..‬ ‫ﻗﻠﺕ ﻟﻪ:‬ ‫ﺃﺭﻴﺩ ﺃﻥ ﺃﻋﺭﻑ ﺍﻟﻤﺯﻴﺩ ﻋـﻥ ﺍﻟﻁـﺭﻕ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻤﺘﺒﻌﺔ ﻟﻤﺤﺎﺼﺭﺓ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ..‬ ‫ﻗﺎل ﻟﻰ:‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﺍﻟﻐﺩ ﺴﺄﻜﻭﻥ ﻨﻭﺒـﺎﺘﺠﻰ.. ﻭﺨـﻼل‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻠﻴل ﺴﺘﻭﻥ ﻫﻨﺎﻙ ﻓﺭﺼﺔ ﻟﻠﺤﺩﻴﺙ..‬
  68. 68. ‫- 42 -‬ ‫:ﻓﻰ ﻨﻔﺱ ﻴﻭﻡ ﺩﺨﻭﻟﻨﺎ ﺍﻟﻤﺴﺘﺸﻔﻰ ﺴﻤﻌﻨﺎ‬ ‫ﻋﻥ ﺤﺎﺩﺜﺔ ﺍﻷﻗﺼﺭ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﻭﺼل ﺍﻟﺨﺒﺭ ﻋﻨﺩﻜﻡ؟..‬ ‫ﺃﻨـﺎﺱ ﻴﺤﺴـﺒﻭﻥ‬ ‫ﺘﺼﻭﺭ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ..‬ ‫ﺃﻨﻔﺴﻬﻡ ﻋﻠﻰ ﺍﻹﺴﻼﻡ.. ﻴﻘﺘﻠـﻭﻥ ﺃﺒﺭﻴـﺎﺀ ﺒـﻼ‬ ‫ﺫﻨﺏ.. ﺴﻴﺎﺡ ﺃﺠﺎﻨﺏ ﺠﺎﺀﻭﺍ ﻟﻤﺸﺎﻫﺩﺓ ﺍﻵﺜﺎﺭ..‬ ‫ﺃﺘﻭﺍ ﻟﻴﻠﻘﻭﺍ ﺤﺘﻔﻬﻡ ﻓﻰ ﺒﻼﺩﻨﺎ..‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺠﺎﺀ ﻜل ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﻌﻨﻑ؟ ..!‬ ‫ﻤﻥ ﺃﻴﻥ ﺃﺘﻰ ﻁﻭﻓﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻜﺭﺍﻫﻴﺔ؟!..‬ ‫ﻫﺫﻩ ﺍﻟﻘﺴﻭﺓ ﻟﻴﺴﺕ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻹﺴﻼﻡ.. ﻟﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻟﻡ‬ ‫ﻴﺭﻭﺍ ﺍﻟﺤﺏ ﻭﺍﻟﺭﺤﻤﺔ ﻓﻰ ﺍﻹﺴﻼﻡ؟ ..!‬ ‫ﻋﻨﺩﻤﺎ ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺒﻬﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺨﺒﺭ ﺤﺯﻨﺕ..‬ ‫ﻫل ﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻗﺎﻟﺕ؟..‬ ‫ﻗﺎﻟﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ:‬ ‫ﺭﺒﻨﺎ ﻟﻡ ﻴﻘل ﺒﻬﺫﺍ.. ﻤﺎﺫﺍ ﻓﻌل ﻟﻬﻡ ﻫﺅﻻﺀ‬ ‫ﺍﻷﺠﺎﻨﺏ؟ ..!ﺃﻟﻴﺴﻭﺍ ﻀﻴﻭﻓﻨﺎ ﻭﺇﻜﺭﺍﻡ ﺍﻟﻀـﻴﻑ‬ ‫ﻭﺍﺠﺏ..‬
  69. 69. ‫ﺃﻟﻴﺱ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺘﻁﺭﻑ ﺴﺭﻁﺎﻨﺎ ﻴﺎ ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ؟..‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺘﺭﻯ ﻤﺘﻰ ﺒﺩﺃ ﻫﺫﺍ ﺍﻟﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ؟..‬ ‫ﻫل ﻨﺸﺄ ﻋﻥ ﻟﺤﻅـﺔ ﻀـﻌﻑ ﺍﻟﻤﻨﺎﻋـﺔ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺘﺠﺔ ﻋﻥ ﻫﺯﻴﻤﺔ ﻴﻭﻨﻴﺔ 76؟.. ﺃﻡ ﻨﺸﺄ ﻋـﻥ‬ ‫ﺍﻨﻬﻴﺎﺭ ﺍﻟﺤﻠﻡ ﺍﻟﻘﻭﻤﻰ؟..‬ ‫ﺃﺘﻌﺭﻑ ﺃﻨﻪ ﺭﺒﻤﺎ ﻜـﺎﻥ ﻀـﻴﺎﻉ ﺍﻟﺤﻠـﻡ‬ ‫ﺍﻟﻘﻭﻤﻰ ﻗﺩ ﺃﻨﺘﺞ ﺴﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺁﺨﺭ.. ﻫل ﺴﻤﻌﺕ ﻴﺎ‬ ‫ﻤﺤﻤﻭﺩ ﻋﻥ ﺇﺩﻤﺎﻥ ﺍﻟﻬﻴﺭﻭﻴﻥ ﻭﻋﺒﺩﺓ ﺍﻟﺸـﻴﻁﺎﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﺸﺒﺎﺏ ﺒﻼ ﺤﻠﻡ ﻭﻻ ﻫﻭﻴﺔ..‬ ‫ﺃﺼﺒﺤﺕ ﺃﺨﺎﻑ ﻤـﻥ ﺍﻟﺴـﺭﻁﺎﻥ ﺒﻜـل‬ ‫ﺼﻭﺭﻩ ﻭﺘﺠﻠﻴﺎﺘﻪ..‬ ‫ﻓﻰ ﻨﻔﺱ ﺍﻟﻴﻭﻡ ﺃﻴﻀﺎ ﺃﺨﺒﺭﺘﻨﻰ ﺼﻔﺎﺀ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ‬ ‫ﹰ‬ ‫ﺴﺄﻟﺕ ﺃﻤﻰ ﺇﻥ ﻜﺎﻨﺕ ﻗﺩ ﺴﺎﻤﺤﺕ ﻋﻤﺘﻰ.. ﻭﺃﻥ‬ ‫ﺃﻤﻰ ﺃﺨﺒﺭﺘﻬﺎ ﺃﻨﻬﺎ ﻗﺩ ﺴﺎﻤﺤﺕ ﻋﻤﺘﻰ ﻤﻨﺫ ﺯﻤﻥ‬ ‫ﻭﺴﺎﻤﺤﺕ ﻜل ﻤﻥ ﺃﺴﺎﺀ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﺎ..‬

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