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  1. 1. INTELLIGENCEWe all know someone who is incredible bright and yet cannot seem to pull their life together. Thebrilliant students who flunks out of University, or the incredibly intelligent worker who can’t seem to getahead in their company. We know from our familiarity with them that they have a good to superiorintelligence level, but that doesn’t seem to be enough to ensure success. And at the same time, we canprobably describe in some form why we feel these people have not been successful. Our descriptionwould include certain traits or behaviors that have nothing to do with intelligence.Before we discover how to find balance in your Leadership style, let’s look at what emotionalintelligence is not. Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time. It’s about being honest.Emotional intelligence is not about being touchyfeely.It’s about being aware of feelings, yours and otherpeople’s. And emotional intelligence is not about being emotional. It’s about being smart with youremotions.It is knows how to use your passions to motivate yourself and others. And it is knowing how to keepyour distressing emotions under control.So, now, what is emotional intelligence? According to the pioneers in the field, Daniel Goleman, JohnMayer and Peter Salovey, emotional intelligence is “a type of social intelligence that involves the abilityto monitor one’s own and others’ emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information toguide one’s thinking and actions.” Or, more simply, emotional intelligence is knowing how we andothers feel, why we feel that way, and what can be done about it. EI is our ability to understand and usethe power of our emotions wisely. It’s learning the difference between “I think” and “I feel,” and hearingthe difference when others say it.Just as importantly, emotional intelligence is learning to manage our emotions rather than letting themcontrol us. The thing to remember is that emotions are not good or bad. Emotions are information. Bylistening to them, we can use our IQ more effectively because we reason better when our feelings aretaken into account. They give us valuable information we can’t get anywhere else.