Guiding Your Strong Willed Child, Week 2.1

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Guiding Your Strong Willed Child, Week 2.1

  1. 1. Guiding Your Strong Willed Child 0 1 2 3 4 5 6
  2. 2. Hello. •  Krista Keintz •  Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) •  American Montessori Society (AMS)
  3. 3. What is Applied Behavior Analysis? •  Applied – Real world practice. It is applying basic science to improve the lives of people. •  Behavior – Any action of any living thing. For our purposes we are interested in observable and measurable behavior. •  Analysis – A scientific study. We are going to allow our teaching to be guided by what really works!
  4. 4. Guiding Your Strong Willed Child •  Parenting is personal – My goal is to help you be the parent you want to be •  Equip you to effectively, purposefully & consistently parent – Community, science, techniques, support & practice •  Designed to be a lifestyle change, not a diet – Invest & expect measurable growth over time
  5. 5. Week 1. Defining Strong Willed 0 1 2 3 4 5 6
  6. 6. Session Overview Community At-Home Extensions Content Science of Behavior Collaboration Time for Your Family
  7. 7. Week One Community Different Perspectives on Strong Willed Children Content Operational Definitions Collaboration Daily Five & Name the Good
  8. 8. Community Spirited Child? •  “The word that distinguishes spirited children from other children is more. They are normal children who are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive, and uncomfortable with change than other children…" {continue reading in your binder} Kurcinka. Raising Your Spirited Child. (2006)
  9. 9. Community Strong Willed Child? •  Pluses –  “usually have a very strong sense of independence… typically also assertive, confident, determined & persistent” •  And, minuses –  “a strong sense of independence also frequently leads these children to become stubborn, argumentative & defiant” •  You are not alone –  48% of parents of 2-6 year olds informally surveyed by the authors described their child as “strong willed” Forehand & Long. Parenting the Strong Willed Child. (2002)
  10. 10. Community A Poll •  How many of the following describe your child’s behavior? Disobedient Resists anything done to him Bossy Broadway-style tantrums Argues Aggressive Demands attention Cries to get her own way Destructive Very sensitive Doesn’t respond to discipline Stubborn Adapted from Forehand & Long. Parenting the Strong Willed Child. (2002)
  11. 11. Community Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaOazMm9sVw
  12. 12. Community The Power of the Will •  “There are books that use the term “strong-willed” to discuss a child who cannot or will not cooperate with adults or family members – a child who, in fact, does not have a developed “will.” In Montessori education, we focus instead on the development of the will as the positive force that enables us to learn from our environment and society and to make a contribution to them” (24). Lillard & Jessen. Montessori from the Start. (2003)
  13. 13. Community A Developed Will •  A child who can say… – “I can focus my energies. – I can restrain my actions. – I can control my impulses.” (25) Lillard & Jessen. Montessori from the Start. (2003)
  14. 14. Week One Community Different Perspectives on Strong Willed Children Content Operational Definitions Collaboration Daily Five & Name the Good
  15. 15. Content Nuts & Bolts of Behavior Operational Definitions Original Behavior Antecedent Replacement Behavior Consequence
  16. 16. Content Today’s Gift from Science Operational Definitions
  17. 17. Content Operational Definitions •  Objective – Did I use only observable characteristics? •  Clear – Could an unfamiliar actor use it as a script? •  Complete – Does it include everything I want to include & exclude everything I want to exclude?
  18. 18. Content Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLKukwm9ODo
  19. 19. Content Why Bother? •  Aid to Communication •  Right Response to Behavior •  Antidote to Nebulous Feeling of Guilt
  20. 20. Content Aid to Communication •  Observable description of behavior •  Specifically descriptive MC Esher Optical Illusion via lolriot.com
  21. 21. Content Right Response •  Sometimes we see things that are not really there •  Not a problem until it’s time to clean the floor
  22. 22. Content Nebulous Feeling of Guilt •  Sometimes we write historical fiction about our children’s behavior – short on facts, long on drama
  23. 23. Content Extreme Makeover – O.D. Before We haven’t had as much quality time for him because of the new baby so he’s acting out his insecurity at bedtime. She is sad about going to school because her day is too long thanks to my work schedule. We can’t go to Target together anymore because he is strongwilled and won’t let me get my shopping done without a fight. After
  24. 24. Content Extreme Makeover – O.D. Before After We haven’t had as much quality time for him because of the new baby so he’s acting out his insecurity at bedtime. Screams, “No, don’t leave me!” while grabbing onto parent She is sad about going to school because her day is too long thanks to my work schedule. Drops to the floor and throws backpack in front of classroom We can’t go to Target together anymore because he is strongwilled and won’t let me get my shopping done without a fight. Kicks and screams for over one minute in a shopping cart
  25. 25. Content Not-A-Test •  Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum. Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well Longer than a minute Happy Throws object
  26. 26. Content Not-A-Test •  Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum. Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well Longer than a minute Happy Throws object •  Answer? All but those in black – those all are presumptions we make based on our observations, but are not objective descriptions of behavior
  27. 27. Week One Community Different Perspectives on Strong Willed Children Content Operational Definitions Collaboration Daily Five & Name the Good
  28. 28. Collaboration Daily Five Preparation •  Map Your Weekly Schedule as a Family – Forest to Trees •  Begin with “fixed” time specific items (drop-off, pick-up, bedtime…) – UNDERLINE •  Add detail in areas with “fixed” routines (getting ready for school, bedtime routine…) - REGULAR •  Feel free to add common but not fixed items – STAR
  29. 29. Collaboration Daily Five Preparation •  Map Your Weekly Schedule as a Family – Workshop Additions •  DAILY FIVE: Pick one, 5 min window for Daily Five •  EMAIL: Decide when you will try to email your 30 sec video clip to me •  HAT MEETING: Pick one, 30 min window each week for Parent’s HAT Meeting – How Are Things?
  30. 30. Collaboration Daily Five – Name the Good •  This week, play the “Name the Good” game o Set aside 5 minutes to “play” each day o Consider just joining into child’s existing play o No demands, corrections or questions! o This should be experienced as really easy & fun for your child o Your Interaction Options: o SPECIFICALLY describe: “You painted using red & purple” o Link behavior to its NATURAL positive consequence: “You shared your car with me! That makes me want to share my car with you!” o ONLY highlight those things you would like to see your child do more of!
  31. 31. Collaboration “How Are Things” Meeting •  Consider having a How Are Things meeting with your parenting partner each week of the workshop – If one or both parents miss a workshop, this is mandatory… or else! •  Plan for 30-minutes of kid-free time •  Review slides, talk over life & operational definitions, drink hot cocoa…
  32. 32. Collaboration Your At-Home Extension •  Self evaluation o Did you set aside 5 minutes to “play” each day? o Did you avoid making demands, corrections or asking questions? o Did you specifically name what the child was doing? o Did you decide to SPECIFICALLY describe or link behavior to its NATURAL positive consequence? o Did you Name the Good by highlighting ONLY those things you would like to see your child do more of? •  Email me by this weekend (SUNDAY night at latest) – 30-second video of you playing Name the Good
  33. 33. Collaboration Questions, Comments? •  Review the slides at biehus.wordpress.com •  Email me at biehuschicago@gmail.com

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