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Learning To Listen earcos

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Breakout session at The East Asia Regional Council of Schools Leadership Conference 2013

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Learning To Listen earcos

  1. 1. Learning To Listen Your Most Useful Skill As An Educator? EARCOS, November 1, 2013 Kirsten Olson, Ed.D., PCC Monday, October 28, 2013 1
  2. 2. “The story is told of a South American tribe that went on a long march, day after day, when all of a sudden they would stop walking, sit down to rest for awhile, and then make camp for a couple of days before going any farther. They explained that they needed the time of rest so that their souls could catch up with them.” -Wayne Muller, Sabbath Monday, October 28, 2013 2
  3. 3. Monday, October 28, 2013 3
  4. 4. My Client, School Leader... “I didn’t realize how much my job was about listening. Listening to my staff, listening to teachers, listening to parents and the community. I wish I’d been better prepared for that.” Monday, October 28, 2013 4
  5. 5. The power of listening Monday, October 28, 2013 5
  6. 6. What’s your listening “biography?” Remember a time you felt deeply listened to. Recall the details and what was happening. How did you feel? -Describe this to your partner. Monday, October 28, 2013 6
  7. 7. Qualities of deep listening Monday, October 28, 2013 7
  8. 8. DEEPLY LISTENING When someone deeply listens to you it is like holding out a dented cup you have had since childhood and watching it fill up with cold fresh water. When it balances on the top of the rim you're understood. When it overflows and touches your skin you are loved. When someone deeply listens to you The room where you stay starts a new life And the place where you wrote your first poem Begins to blow in your mind’s eye. It’s as if gold has been discovered. When someone deeply listens to you your bare feet are on the earth and the beloved land that seemed distant is now at home within you. -John Fox Monday, October 28, 2013 8
  9. 9. Open and honest questions. What are they? Monday, October 28, 2013 9
  10. 10. Monday, October 28, 2013 10
  11. 11. What’s a common problem at your school? Monday, October 28, 2013 11
  12. 12. Get into a triad. Monday, October 28, 2013 12
  13. 13. 3 Deep Cleansing Breaths Monday, October 28, 2013 13
  14. 14. Triad Protocol A Presents dilemma B Listens carefully, and then asks open and honest questions C Listens quietly and takes notes as A and B talk. Summarizes what A and B have said, and offers observations as a conclusion. Monday, October 28, 2013 14
  15. 15. A = What Happened B = Did I get you right? C = Here's what I heard… Monday, October 28, 2013 15
  16. 16. • Practice deep listening • Practice asking open and honest questions • Practice concluding with observation, not judgment Monday, October 28, 2013 16
  17. 17. Observer/Concluder • Observe without judging • “I notice that...” • “When you said X, I heard tension in your voice...” • “This seems to be a very upsetting situation.” Monday, October 28, 2013 17
  18. 18. Begin. (3 minutes for each role) Monday, October 28, 2013 18
  19. 19. How was that for you? Monday, October 28, 2013 19
  20. 20. “Being listened to is so close to being loved most of us cannot tell the difference.” -David Oxberg Monday, October 28, 2013 20
  21. 21. Resources • Body Scan: http://www.buddhanet.net/ audio-meditation.htm • Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: http:// www.umassmed.edu/cfm/index.aspx • Center for Courage and Renewal (listening techniques) http://www.couragerenewal.org Monday, October 28, 2013 21

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