One size doesn’t fit all, give your marriage a taste
One Size DOeSn’t Fit All, give your Marriage a taste
I want to give you a few suggestions to "Make Your Spouse Feel Special," Keep in mind that these are just suggestions or
even "suggestions in progress" because you might find that some of them won't work the way i suggest them; but there could
be an idea that you could re-adapt for your lifestyle. So, here goes:
Ways to Make Your Spouse Feel Special and Valued:
1. Give gifts beyond special occasions; look for something to do or give that is "Just Because I Love You" type of gift. Keep
in mind that the gift is for THEM not for YOU so give accordingly. For example, some women love to receive flowers. If this
will speak love to them, then find times to give them to her.
Some men loves it when you scratch their back or greet him at the door wearing something he enjoys, or you come up to him
at a spontaneous moment and give him a long passionate kiss, or buy him something he considers to be a treat at the grocery
2. Don't be stingy with the compliments. Just because you live together as husband and wife, it doesn't mean you stop needing
to be appreciated. Look for everyday things your spouse does and then let them know you appreciate them.
And don't forget to compliment them in front of the children (which is good for the children to hear you do —it teaches them
to do the same someday with their future spouse), as well as other family members, friends, etc. "Giving accolades in front of
an audience is like giving your spouse a care package for his or her heart." It also blesses others as they hear it; but most
importantly it blesses your spouse!
3. Husbands AND Wives should use their manners —ESPECIALLY when they're with their spouse. After all, our spouse is
supposed to be the person we value the most (besides God). Why should we be less polite to them than to a stranger? There's
something to be said for being comfortable in our own home environment. But does that mean that we are to put aside our
manners? Let's find balance when we relax. Getting comfortable doesn't mean taking each other for granted and not respecting
our spouse as being important enough to be polite.
4. Husbands AND Wives should pay attention to looking nice for their spouse. There are times when we might not be able to
look our best (if we're sick or we're doing maintenance on the home, etc…) but we should generally try to keep ourselves
looking and smelling clean, and looking nice enough so that our spouse feels valued. Part of what attracted them to us before
marriage was our appearance. Marriage doesn't kill that part of them off. It's what's in the heart that makes the most
difference, but the outside appearance isn't to be neglected either.
5. You BOTH need at least SOME time to relax. If it's at all possible, try to find ways to help your spouse relax sometimes, by
doing something for them that gives them that luxury.
6. Don't use the Bible as a weapon against your spouse. Your spouse is not your enemy (even if their behavior isn't what it
should be). The Bible tells us to "speak the truth in love." If you’re “speaking the truth” but it’s not given in love —motivated
by love, then you’re “only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal” according to the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13.
7. If you have children living in your home, be mindful that you aren’t alone. This might sound simplistic but it’s amazing
how often a husband and wife will fight in front of the children, forgetting that they take in everything that happens between
the two of you. They’re like little (or big) sponges soaking it all in. You’re teaching them not only by your words, but also by
your actions, and you hurt their hearts when you hurt each other.
Children have the unique ability to twist things and make everything that goes on in your lives as if it’s their fault. Don’t
participate in hurting them emotionally in that way. Make it your mission to find ways to communicate with each other in
respectful, God-honoring ways. If your spouse won’t help in this matter, then YOU be the hero in your home and learn what
you can so at least ONE parent is doing the right thing! Honor each other, your children, AND GOD!
I hope this has been helpful. Again, one size doesn’t fit all, but perhaps you can glean enough that you CAN use in some way.