LIFE FOR TEENSIS NOPLAYGROUNDIt is a maze full of right orwrong turns-right orwrong choices.Parents can teach teensskills to help them makebetter choices.
“WE CAN’T MAKE THEIR DECISIONSFOR THEM, BUT WE CAN GIVE THEMTHE RIGHT TOOLS THEY NEED TOMAKE RIGHT DECISIONS.”
NAVIGATION NECESSITIESWhat are Effective Teens ChoicesBased on?PRINCIPLESPRINCIPLES
1. Are they reactive or proactive?2. Do they know where they are going?3. Do they prioritize the things they have to do?4. Do they see life as a competition?5. Do they talk first and then pretend to listen or listen actively?6. Do they cooperate with others or do they think they arebetter off doing everything by themselves?7. Are they so busy with life that they do not have time to:• Spend quality time with family and friends• To do their homework• Read good books• Exercise• Take time for nature or other inspirational things?What is an effective teen?What is an effective teen?
PARADIGMThe way you seesomething,your point of view,frame of reference,or belief.
What is a paradigm shift?A paradigm shift is a way of looking atsomething differently.We are stepping “outside the box”.When we make a paradigm shift we can see,think, feel and behave differently.Example:Ptolemy thought the earth was the center ofthe universe.Copernicus believed the sun was the centerof the universe. (a paradigm shift occurred)
Frank Koch wrote:Two battleships assigned to the training squadronhad been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I wasserving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as nightfell. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported,"Light, bearing on the starboard bow.""Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a collisioncourse. The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: Weare on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees."Back came the reply, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees."The captain said, "Send, Im a captain, change course 20 degrees.""I am a seaman second class" came the reply. "You had better changecourse 20 degrees."By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, Im abattleship. Change course 20 degrees."Back came the reply, "Im a lighthouse."We changed course. Steven Covey (in “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People”) tells that story to teach that principles are“like lighthouses.” They are natural laws that cannot be broken.”
To show regard or value for someoneorsomething.
Emotional Bank AccountLike a checking or savings account,you can make deposits or withdrawals.Personal-How you feel about yourself.(Amount of trust and confidence in yourself.)Relationship-How you feel about others.(Amount of trust and confidence you have in eachof your relationships)
Personal Bank AccountDeposits• Keep promises to yourself• Do small acts of kindness• Be gentle with yourself• Be honest in all your dealings• Enhance your talents• Take care of yourself• Think positively and use positive self-talk
Personal Bank AccountWithdrawals• Break promises to yourself• Isolate yourself• Put yourself down• Think negatively and use negative self-talk• Be dishonest with yourself• Neglect your talents• Wear yourself out• Expect yourself to be perfect
Relationship Bank AccountDeposits• Keep promises to others• Do small acts of kindness• Be loyal to those not present• Listen actively• Say you are sorry• Set clear expectations• Allow others to be different
Relationship Bank AccountWithdrawals• Break promises• Keep to yourself• Gossip and break confidences• Do not listen• Be arrogant• Set false expectations
7 Habits of Highly Effective TeensHabit 1 Be ProactiveHabit 2 Begin With The End in MindHabit 3 Put First Things FirstHabit 4 Think Win-winHabit 5 Seek First to Understand,Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6 SynergizeHabit 7 Sharpen the Saw
Habit 1 Be ProactiveTeenagers are the product of their environment,upbringing, and choices. Are their choicesproactive or reactive? They need to takeresponsibility for their choicesand their life.
CIRCLE OFNO CONTROLCIRCLE OFCONTROLAttitudesWeatherBirthplaceParentsWhatotherpeoplesay anddoChoices &ResponsesOurselves
Habit 2 Begin With the End in MindDefine their mission and goals. Values are self-chosen & provide foundations for decision makingabout where they are going in life.
Habit 3 Put First Things FirstPrioritizeActions flow fromthat which isimportant.
Habit 4 Think Win-winMutual Benefits.Have an“everyone can win”attitude.Win-win is like anall you can eat buffet.
Habit 5 Seek First to Understand,Then to be UnderstoodCommunicationsolvesproblems.Listen topeoplesincerely.
Habit 6 SynergizeOpen-mindedness. Teamwork. New ways to dothings. Work together to achieve more.Celebrate differences.A fruit salad is delicious precisely because eachfruit maintains its own flavor.
Habit 7 Sharpen the SawContinuous self-renewal and self-improvement in:your brainyour heartyour bodyyour soul
SOLUTION ORIENTED PROBLEM SOLVING1. Name the problem, and who owns it. (Be sure it is the REAL problem)2. Describe it specifically. (Name the parts of the problem.)3. Brainstorm. (Name all the solutions you can think of, no matter how crazy theymay seem.)4. Think about each solution:•Does it honor the values of your parents, yourself, and others whom yourespect?•Would it solve the problem?•Would it affect yourself and others for better or worse?5. Choose a solution, and act on it.6. Evaluate the outcome:•Is the problem solved?•Did the solution produce the results you expected?•How did the solution fit with your feelings and values?•Did the solution fail to meet your or the other party’s needs in any way?•What else happened?•Would another solution work better?
Expected OutcomesExpected Outcomes• Increased engagement and motivation• Greater responsibility for learning• Increased peer collaboration skills• Greater confidence and self-esteem• Increased listening skills• Greater content mastery• Better peer collaboration• More time on task• More skill in analyzing and solving problems
GETTINGGETTING UNDERWAY WITH THEUNDERWAY WITH THE7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens