As 2012 started, I was recovering from hip replacement surgery, and looking forward to having my mobility—and life—back. But two months into the year I had to face the fact that my business was failing, and wasn’t going to recover. I had to close it, and quickly. In the process I put five people out of jobs—the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I lost my colleagues, I lost my business, I lost my identity, and perhaps most importantly, I lost faith in myself. In the months that followed, I had constant migraines, started to panic in crowded places, cried an awful lot, gained weight, stopped going out, and felt dizzy every day. All I wanted was to stay under my duvet for a few months, read, watch movies, eat chocolate, and comfort myself back to some semblance of confidence. But that wasn’t an option. I was committed to hosting an international conference in October, so I had no choice but to keep it together, as best I could. I finally found the courage to tell this story at Dare Conference in London, on 25 March 2013.

1. 2012: M! V"r! Ow#
D$%&%'"r M(v$"
Kerry-Anne Gilowey
Dare Conference, September 2013
@kerry_anne

2. !" b#$%&'(r)

3. This is a
personal
story.

4. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%

5. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Jan ‘09
First
employee
is hired

6. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Sep ‘10
Hip
surgery
Jan ‘09
First
employee
is hired

7. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Sep ‘10
Hip
surgery
Jan ‘09
First
employee
is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded
to 5
employees

8. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Sep ‘10
Hip
surgery
Jan ‘09
First
employee
is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded
to 5
employees
Sep ‘11
UK trip

9. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Sep ‘10
Hip
surgery
Jan ‘09
First
employee
is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded
to 5
employees
Sep ‘11
UK trip
Oct ’12
CS Forum
2012

10. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Sep ‘10
Hip
surgery
Jan ‘09
First
employee
is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded
to 5
employees
Sep ‘11
UK trip
Oct ’11
Hip
replacement
Oct ’12
CS Forum
2012

11. RoboHip

12. !" *+r",-#b," +#rr#'(r

13. T&b*" (f *$"%
What I said The truth
“I like being a business owner.” I hated managing other people.
“I love my work!” Work wasn’t fun anymore.
“I’m terribly happy.” I was miserable as sin.
“I’m getting closer to my goals.”
I couldn’t have been further from my
goals if I tried.
“I love my employees.” I’d begun to resent my employees.

14. I .*&' $#+’' q*-' )(*

15. The upside of quitting

16. The upside of quitting
X

17. Sunk-cost
fallacy

18. Opportunity
cost

19. S+#,--.' f&**&-!
“I’ve already spent an
hour watching this awful
movie. It would be a
waste not to finish it.”

20. Opp(r'+#$'! -.'

21. !" b#''," &$"+"

22. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11
Hip
surgery
First
employee
is hired
Expanded
to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip
replacement
Oct ’12
CS Forum
2012

23. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11
Hip
surgery
First
employee
is hired
Expanded
to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip
replacement
Feb ’12
A TOUGH
DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum
2012

24. A &*rpr-&-+/ p,(' 'w-&'

25. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11 Feb ’12
Hip
surgery
First
employee
is hired
Expanded
to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip
replacement
A TOUGH
DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum
2012

26. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11 Feb ’12
Hip
surgery
First
employee
is hired
Expanded
to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip
replacement
A TOUGH
DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum
2012
Aug ’12
Diagnosed
with
depression

27. M&)(r p*(' p($#'%
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11 Feb ’12
Hip
surgery
First
employee
is hired
Expanded
to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip
replacement
A TOUGH
DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum
2012
Aug ’12
Diagnosed
with
depression
Sep ’12
Increasing
panic
attacks

28. I /r"&0' (f "%-&p"

29. B+' I 1&/ (b*$2&'$(#%

30. ... pr()"-'% '( 3#$%1,

31. ... 0(#"! '( "&r#,
Photo:http://www.flickr.com/photos/101332430@N03/

32. ... & -(#f"r"#-" '( (r2&#$%".

33. !" W-,0",1 &$r"#1

34. I %-r"w"/ +p r"p"&'"/*!

35. I b*+ff"/ 0! w&! '1r(+21

36. I b*&0"/ ('1"r%
Why can’t
other people
be smart
like me?

37. A!! "#$ %&#w '( "#$ )*&’+ , '+,
A&- "#$ w'(. "#$’- !'(+/&/- 0#r/
T# "#$r '&(+'&)+(, +# "#$r f*0'!"
T# +./ w'(-#0 "#$’- '1&#r/-
Ar/ "#$ 2&*!!" 1#&&* *(% $( -
... f!r "#$p?
- S&#w P*+r#!, 3/ Pr/('-/&+

38. C-+"1#'(/r#p0)

39. Your failures My failures
H(w I %""...

40. T&*, &b(+' $'

41. T&*, &b(+' $'
When you talk about it, you
discover that you are not alone.

42. S*pp(r'-+/ $#&'

43. 5#/$#2 !(+r 'r$b"
A tiny, but quite
representative
sample of the
people who make
up my tribe.

44. C,"v"r p,(' 2"v-$"&

45. Pr(-r&%'$#&'$#2 -(#%'r+-'$v"*!
Cranking
widgets is
always an
option.

46. 5#/$#2 !(+r 0('$v&'$(#
Write yourself notes
Change how you think about things
Encourage yourself

47. D($#2 %-&r! '1$#2%

48. D"+(*"1"+'

49. CS F(r+0 w&% & %+--"%%

50. CS F(r+0 w&% & %+--"%%
This is the face of someone
who has just seen a cheetah
entering the room.

51. R(b(1$p’% /($#2 (,&! '((

52. !" 1(1"+' (f r"&(,*'-(+

53. MAKE IT AFTER ALL
2012
You’re gonna
D(#’' %'(p b"*$"v$#’...

54. 6&#,% f(r *$%'"#$#2!
Kerry-Anne Gilowey
kerryanne@augustsun.co.za
@kerry_anne