SUCCESSFUL SEASONS START
HERE!
S

MAKING YOUTH SPORTS PARENTS YOUR PARTNERS

John Engh & Kate Dilworth
TODAY’S SESSION








NAYS
Introduce Topic of Youth Sports
Parents
Undesirable Parent Behaviors
Reactive Measures ...
Education &
Membership Programs
-Coaches
-Parents
-Officials
-Administrators

Youth Development
Programs
-Start Smart
-Hoo...
Youth
Sports
Parents
Youth
Sports
Parents
Undesirable Parent Behaviors
• Rage
• Abusive
• Over-involved
• Pushy
• Living vicariously through child
• Overly critical...
Why do parents sign
their children up for
organized sports?
What
happens?

“The
Sport-Parent
Paradox”
Negative
Role
Models
Too
often, profession
al sporting
events have
become venues
for
aggressive, bottl
e-throwing
fans, wh...
Reactive Measures for Dealing
with Parents
Complete training program
 Remove parent from game/event
 Suspension
 Yellow...
Desirable Parent
Behaviors











Supportive/ encouraging
Be a positive role model
Compliment ALL
players, c...
THE ROLE OF THE RECREATION
PROFESSIONAL
BE PROACTIVE!!!

It is YOUR
responsibility to
ensure that the
activity meets the
p...
Proactive
Measures
• Parent orientation
• Behavior agreement

• Accountability
procedures
• Trained coaches and
officials
Parent Orientation
Parent Orientation
• Expectations for proper behavior
• Acquaint parents with the coaches
and administrators
• Educate par...
Parent Behavior Agreement
Code of Conduct – very useful but not
"the solution" to the problem of
parental misbehavior
Parent
Behavior
Agreement

What happens if a
parent violates
the code?
ACCOUNTABILITY
•

•

•
•

Agreement must be explicitly worded
and clearly identify the penalties for
potential violations
...
TRAINED AND COMPETENT
COACHES AND OFFICIALS
 Trained

to utilize techniques that tone down
confrontations among
players, ...
THROUGHOUT THE SEASON






Open communication
Opportunity for parents to provide feedback
Recognition – Be sure to re...
PARENTS ARE COACHES
AND

ADMINISTRATORS, TOO!
TOOLS TO ASSIST FROM NAYS
Parents Association for Youth Sports
 Rate Your Coach
 Let’s Talk Sports
 National Youth Spor...
PAYS PROGRAM
•

40 minute orientation
Educational video
and code of ethics

•

•

Nationally recognized
•Developed

by
pro...
Video
Clip
PAYS Content
Nutrition
Developing
Sport Skills

Sportsmanship

FUN!!
Cheering

Supporting
the Coach
Playing time

Winning
...
ONLINE PROGRAM
MEMBER AREA
How to get involved?
•Easy for recreation

departments to offer PAYS to
parents
• Parents can sign up as

individual membe...
RATE YOUR COACH
Provide an avenue for parents to give feedback
about coaches
 Online system

“Rate Your Coach” Evaluations
View All Results:
Historical results can be
exported to a
spreadsheet for
management.

View ...
LET’S TALK SPORTS!
Program is focused on helping parents and their
children understand and encourage the
development of li...
SPORTS PARENT PLEDGE AT NAYS.ORG
OTHER TRAINING & MEMBERSHIP
PROGRAMS


National Youth Sports Coaches Association
How to deal with parents
 Coaching your...
WRAP UP
Review
 Questions?


If you would like a copy of today’s presentation or a
temporary login to the PAYS Member Ar...
SCENARIO #1
 You

receive several e-mails from an
angry parent who is upset because her
child has not played every inning...
SCENARIO #2
 One

of your parents begins to
regularly yell a chant that is foul
(rhymes with “ducks”) and
disrespectful t...
Thank you!
Making Youth Sports Parents Your Partners
Making Youth Sports Parents Your Partners
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Making Youth Sports Parents Your Partners

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Educational session for parks and recreation professionals and youth sports league administrators about parents. Proactive and reactive measures for dealing with parent behavior issues.

Also introduces the Parents Association for Youth Sports (PAYS) training and membership program of the National Alliance for Youth Sports (NAYS).

www.nays.org/parents

Published in: Sports, Education
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  • Introduce presenter and go over a brief topic outline for the session.(running) Coaching youth sports sometimes involves dealing with petty behavior, jealousy, high emotions and constant whining.And then there are the kids.
  • Basic history of NAYS and our programs. Later we’ll talk about getting involved.
  • Parents are the backbone of youth sports, it’s the parents who make it all operate. Deciding to register, driving to practice, cheering at games, volunteering to coach, etc. They play a huge role in the entire experience. Ever been to a youth sporting event where parents yell and scream at, or belittle, the players on the field--sometimes their own. How about these same individuals badgering referees and/or coaches during the game, maybe after the game?  Discussion: Ask audience to share memorable stories about a youth sports parent? Positive or negative.- Bottom line here is there that youth sports parents have a wide range of attitudes and behaviors.
  • - 1 minute clip of two bad/ugly youth sports parents. From ABC NEWS special.The majority of parents have good intentions and display positive behavior, but I guess video clips of good parents aren’t entertaining enough for prime time TV!For some parents who are unable to act appropriately at their child's sporting event, the reasons have more to do with personality factors and underlying social pressures. (“If you let me down” social pressure – rage is a personality issue)
  • The extreme example showed abusive behavior from the father and over-involved/upset behavior from the mother. Other common negative behaviors. Betting!
  • Pushy/over involved parent“Then/Now” suggests that this is a trend but there are articles from 1975 in Sports Illustrated describing violent behavior at youth sports events. I have heard youth sports parents called “a virus” because it the problems keep evolving in new ways.
  • How did does this happen? So many instances of poor behavior at youth sports events. Let’s take a look.- Group discussion question “First, let’s talk about why parents sign their children up for sports in the first place?” In other words, what are the benefits of sports participation?- FOR THE MOST PART: parents enroll their children in sport because they believe that sport participation has tangible benefits – and they are right!For the child: It’s enjoyable, builds character, increases self-esteem, lowers school drop out rates, etc.For society: Persons who were involved in youth sports are more likely (as adults) to volunteer, donate money, vote, attend to news and current affairs – thus, they are more active members of society!- It IS a fun, safe and healthy activity
  • Shift Happens (paradox shift)- Parents voluntarily sign their children up for a fun activity and then either their child is better than they thought, or the other kids are a lot better than theirs. Parents start to identify with child. Their child is a direct reflection of them. Lose sight of all those benefits of sports and get caught up in the competition. the parents' self worth is linked to the child's athletic success. Thinking of their own feelings now. Really makes you wonder… Is the program for the parents or for the children??? Parents can also become emotionally involved, and in some cases, lose proper perspective when they begin to see their young athlete as an investment. Some parents view athletics as a means of achieving fame, glory or material rewards. In many instances, the goal can be a college scholarship or professional contract. But even if a child appears to be a gifted athlete, the odds are remote.
  • Negative Role ModelsToo often, professional sporting events have become venues for aggressive, bottle-throwing fans, who vent their frustration at officials and players.TV Shows: "in your face" confrontations or physical altercations between guests (e.g., The Jerry Springer Show). Drugs/Alcohol
  • Describe your dream parent.
  • OK so we are starting to understand the root of the issue. What can be done? How do we get everyone on the same page? Start with a pre-season meeting for all parents. Educate them about their role in the youth sports experience Require all parents to sign a behavior agreement or code of conduct Have a system in place for when a parent violates the agreement and ENFORCE the policies and procedures.
  • Show of hands: has anyone participated in (or offers) a pre-season meeting? What was it like? What type of content was presented? WHO: Require all parents and guardians to participate. Not for kids. WHAT: Their role and impact in youth sports. Important dates and information about your program. Behavior expectations. WHEN: Before the season begins. Another note about “when”.. This content is especially important for parents of first time athletes WHERE: Location with ample seating and limited distractions. Local community center, school amphitheatre or classroom, etc. WHY: WHY!?!?!?Have you been paying attention to the presentation AT ALL!?! Do you listen to ANYTHING we say!?!?!  Just kidding!
  • Require all parents to sign a behavior agreement or code of conduct, code of ethics, behavior agreement At the end of the parent orientation Even if for some reason you don’t have a parent orientation, require parents to understand and sign a behavior agreement!
  • Require all parents to sign a behavior agreement or code of conduct, code of ethics, behavior agreement At the end of the parent orientation Even if for some reason you don’t have a parent orientation, require parents to understand and sign a behavior agreement!
  • Parents who volunteer to coach their own child’s team can find themselves in difficult situations. Equip these coaches with the skills they need to ensure the season is fun for all kids on the team. Treat all players equally. Take off the coach's hat at home. Parents can decide to create a new league on their own. These can be the overly competitive parents. When dealing with these coaches and administrators keep in mind they are parents first.
  • Can be a tough subject to discuss, leave it to us. Parents Association for Youth Sports PAYS is a 30 minute orientation in which parents view our educational video, and read and sign the PAYS Code of Ethics.
  • Show 4 minute clip of PAYS video 12:46 -17:20(talks about 10 pointers for parents)
  • Topics covered in 20 minute PAYS video
  • Think your community could benefit from the PAYS program?As a league or organization – start a chapter of NAYS to offer PAYS and other NAYS education programs to the adults involved your programs, no cost to begin!As a parent – tell your league about PAYS. Join online and spread the word.As a coach – tell your league about PAYS.Cost $5 per household either at a live meeting or onlineCOMMUNITY EDUCATION PACKAGE For only $75.00, organizations can order the PAYS video and handbooks/parent cards for 50 parents. This option allows organizations to use PAYS educational materials, however, parent information is NOT submitted to NAYS or maintained in NAYS’ national database and parents will not receive SportingKid magazine. Additional kits are available for $50.00 (excludes DVD).
  • 1:00 – 3:40 min or
  • Questions???
  • Making Youth Sports Parents Your Partners

    1. 1. SUCCESSFUL SEASONS START HERE! S MAKING YOUTH SPORTS PARENTS YOUR PARTNERS John Engh & Kate Dilworth
    2. 2. TODAY’S SESSION       NAYS Introduce Topic of Youth Sports Parents Undesirable Parent Behaviors Reactive Measures for Dealing with Parents Desirable Parent Behaviors Proactive Measures Parent Orientation  Behavior Agreement  Accountability    NAYS Tools to Assist Wrap up!
    3. 3. Education & Membership Programs -Coaches -Parents -Officials -Administrators Youth Development Programs -Start Smart -Hook a Kid on Golf -Ready, Set, RUN!
    4. 4. Youth Sports Parents
    5. 5. Youth Sports Parents
    6. 6. Undesirable Parent Behaviors • Rage • Abusive • Over-involved • Pushy • Living vicariously through child • Overly critical • Yelling (players, coach, officials) • Competing with other parents • Selfish dreaming • Too serious • Not involved • Bragging
    7. 7. Why do parents sign their children up for organized sports?
    8. 8. What happens? “The Sport-Parent Paradox”
    9. 9. Negative Role Models Too often, profession al sporting events have become venues for aggressive, bottl e-throwing fans, who vent their frustration at officials and players.
    10. 10. Reactive Measures for Dealing with Parents Complete training program  Remove parent from game/event  Suspension  Yellow/red cards  Personal meeting  Require parent to sign behavior contract  “Silent Saturdays” no cheering at all 
    11. 11. Desirable Parent Behaviors           Supportive/ encouraging Be a positive role model Compliment ALL players, coaches, officials Leave coaching to the coaches Volunteer Treat young athletes like children, not mini-professionals Be realistic about child’s future in sports Emphasize enjoyment, developing skills, and team play Friendly with other parents Knows the rules of the game
    12. 12. THE ROLE OF THE RECREATION PROFESSIONAL BE PROACTIVE!!! It is YOUR responsibility to ensure that the activity meets the philosophy of your program.
    13. 13. Proactive Measures • Parent orientation • Behavior agreement • Accountability procedures • Trained coaches and officials
    14. 14. Parent Orientation
    15. 15. Parent Orientation • Expectations for proper behavior • Acquaint parents with the coaches and administrators • Educate parents about the objectives, goals, and rules of the program • Get parents to understand and reinforce the coaching philosophy that will be used • Establish clear lines of communication • Help coaches and administrators understand the concerns of parents
    16. 16. Parent Behavior Agreement Code of Conduct – very useful but not "the solution" to the problem of parental misbehavior
    17. 17. Parent Behavior Agreement What happens if a parent violates the code?
    18. 18. ACCOUNTABILITY • • • • Agreement must be explicitly worded and clearly identify the penalties for potential violations Tell parents up front what the consequence will be if they do not uphold the behavior agreement (Suspensions, removal) Evaluate behavior violations as part of a formal hearing process Include mechanism for violators to demonstrate evidence of behavior improvement (written statement, meeting with administrator) Follow through with what you say you’re going to do!
    19. 19. TRAINED AND COMPETENT COACHES AND OFFICIALS  Trained to utilize techniques that tone down confrontations among players, coaches, officials and spectators
    20. 20. THROUGHOUT THE SEASON     Open communication Opportunity for parents to provide feedback Recognition – Be sure to recognize positive parent behavior. Say thank you! On-going education – keep parents up to date with relevant information
    21. 21. PARENTS ARE COACHES AND ADMINISTRATORS, TOO!
    22. 22. TOOLS TO ASSIST FROM NAYS Parents Association for Youth Sports  Rate Your Coach  Let’s Talk Sports  National Youth Sports Coaches Association  National Youth Sports Officials Association  National Youth Sports Administrators Association 
    23. 23. PAYS PROGRAM • 40 minute orientation Educational video and code of ethics • • Nationally recognized •Developed by professionals • • PAYS online option Member Area
    24. 24. Video Clip
    25. 25. PAYS Content Nutrition Developing Sport Skills Sportsmanship FUN!! Cheering Supporting the Coach Playing time Winning Officials Parents are part of the team Model behavior
    26. 26. ONLINE PROGRAM
    27. 27. MEMBER AREA
    28. 28. How to get involved? •Easy for recreation departments to offer PAYS to parents • Parents can sign up as individual members
    29. 29. RATE YOUR COACH Provide an avenue for parents to give feedback about coaches  Online system 
    30. 30. “Rate Your Coach” Evaluations View All Results: Historical results can be exported to a spreadsheet for management. View Individual Results: Results can be used to follow-up with coach complaints or to reward coaches for great service. View Categories: You and coaches will be able to see the areas where they need to improve their coaching.
    31. 31. LET’S TALK SPORTS! Program is focused on helping parents and their children understand and encourage the development of life skills through sports  Free, easy to sign up online  Parents complete the program along with their child and receive a certificate of completion.  Helps parents understand the real value of playing organized sports is not winning!  letstalksports.nays.org
    32. 32. SPORTS PARENT PLEDGE AT NAYS.ORG
    33. 33. OTHER TRAINING & MEMBERSHIP PROGRAMS  National Youth Sports Coaches Association How to deal with parents  Coaching your own child   National Youth Sports Officials Association   How to deal with parents National Youth Sports Administrators Association  Managing parents
    34. 34. WRAP UP Review  Questions?  If you would like a copy of today’s presentation or a temporary login to the PAYS Member Area. Please email me at: Kate Dilworth - kdilworth@nays.org
    35. 35. SCENARIO #1  You receive several e-mails from an angry parent who is upset because her child has not played every inning of the first five baseball games (the team lost three of the five games). Her child is considered by most to be one of the top five players in the league. The parent is blaming the coaches for the losses.
    36. 36. SCENARIO #2  One of your parents begins to regularly yell a chant that is foul (rhymes with “ducks”) and disrespectful to the officials. The players and some of the parents appear to be joining in on the chant.
    37. 37. Thank you!

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