1.
hi, my name is katie.

2.
you know how your parents tell you
you are special and one of a kind?

3.
that dream died for me earl on
y

4.
when i got put on a youth soccer team
with seven katies.
katie
katie katie
katie
katie
katie
katie
seven.

5.
katie, look to your left!
katie go for the goal!
katie, look to your other left!
katie! don’t let your man get a a
w y.
no, not you katie, you sta back on defense!
y
come on katie, get your head in the game!

6.
it w clear that the name katie w
as asn’t going to cut it.

7.
thus began the nicknames.

8.
some more traumatizing than others.
but anything w better than
as
JUST plain katie.

9.
Katie kat
i can onl assume this w a predictor of my future ‘cat lady’ status.
y as

10.
casey
it started out as my initials kc,
but shortl people thought my name w actuall casey.
y as y
GROSS.

11.
Hang loose kc
because apparentl my fa
y vorite ha aiian ‘hang loose’ t-shirt made it
w
into my wardrobe rotation more than w sociall acceptable.
as y
turned into my favorite aol screen name in 1998.

12.
MARY CHOPPIN’ WOOD.
A MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER REFERENCE GONE WRONG.

13.
butt face
yes, I ha a cleft chin that has a striking resemblance to a
ve
miniature butt living on my face.

14.
katiechapinface
slight upgrade from butt face, don’t you think?

15.
chap- IN.
AS IF YOU ARE WELCOMING IN AN OLE’ CHAP for a drink.

16.
AND FINALL THE ONE THAT STUCK
Y,

17.
chapes (like grapes)

18.
of course it wasn’t an easy road,
adopting my new nickname.

19.
there w confusion at first.
as
chapes?

20.
some people called me chaps.
(like chapstick)

21.
others told me my new name sounded like an unpleasant disease.

22.
MOST JUST GA ME THE EYEBROW RAISE.
VE

23.
but before long, even my high school history teacher w calling me chapes.
as

24.
and after years and years of frustration
my da of sa
ys ying
‘hi my name is katie’
were long gone.

25.
i finall had a nickname with
y
personality and spunk.

26.
it’s chapes, bitch.

27.
ok, i actuall don’t use swear words.
y

28.
but yeah, my name is chapes.