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CHEMICAL                                         ANALYSIS OF                                          (WO)MEN             ...
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If I                                                                            was/were a                        If I    ...
If I were a boy                             If I were a boyeven just for a day                         I think I _________...
Teacher notes:Activities listed can be used in any given order, since they are all relaeted to the main topic, thatis Men ...
Islcollective activities listed_can_be_used_in_any_given_order_323244c3e2b2b018f27_75368208
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Islcollective activities listed_can_be_used_in_any_given_order_323244c3e2b2b018f27_75368208

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Islcollective activities listed_can_be_used_in_any_given_order_323244c3e2b2b018f27_75368208

  1. 1. CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF (WO)MEN ELEMENT: MAN SYMBOL: Ego DISCOVERER: Eve. ELEMENT: Woman SYMBOL: Wo OCCURRENCE: Large quantities in all populated DISCOVERER: Adam areas. Highly concentrated deposits at all sporting events and areas known as ATOMIC MASS: Dont even go there "singles bars". Extremely low quantities can be found in any location where cleaning up is required. (See Women and Slave Labor)PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered with a painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. 1. Surface often covered with hair. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 2. Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. faced with Logic and Common Sense. 5. Found in various states ranging from 3. Melts if treated like a God. virgin metal to common ore. 4. Can cause headaches and severe body 6. Yields to pressure applied to correct aches; handle with extreme caution. points. 5. Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. 1. Is repelled by concentrated quantities of 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive precious and semi-precious metals and substances. stones (See Jewelery Store). 3. May explode spontaneously without prior 2. May explode spontaneously if wallet is warning, and for no known reason. opened. 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly 3. Requires copious quantities of increased by saturation in alcohol. substances known as attention, 5. Most powerful money-reducing agent reassurance, and stroking. known to man. 4. When saturated with Alcohol will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.COMMON USES: 5. Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers. 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports 6. Is repelled by small children clothed in cars. diapers, particularly those of the 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation. malodorous variety. 3. Very effective cleaning agent. 7. Usually willing to react with whatever is available.TESTS: 8. Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to woman. 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when 9. Is repelled by most household appliances discovered in natural state. and common household cleansers. 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen. STORAGE:HAZARDS: b) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced at night, free dinners for Wo... hands. 2. Illegal to possess more than one, c) Can be used in recreational activities. although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens CAUTION: do not come into direct contact with each other. a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen.
  2. 2. → →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →→ →
  3. 3. If I was/were a If I woman, I was/were would ... a man,I would ....To talk about wishes in the present we tend to use past simple; only to show that it issomething imaginary, hypothetically speaking. If only I knew the answer (I do not know the answer) I wish I could play the guitar (I cannot play the guitar)In a similar manner, we use past simple to talk about conditions in the present,which are only imaginary. If + past simple, Would + infinitive If you knew what I know, you would be upset. (you dont know what I know) If walls could talk, we would be in trouble. (the walls cannot talk, therefore we are not in trouble) Fill in the following sentences with an appropriate form.If Mary ______________________ (speak) Spanish, she _____________________ (not get) intotrouble. Now she is stuck at the airport.I _____________________________ (prepare) lunch if I ________________________ (be) a goodcook, but all I can do is order a pizza.She ____________________________ (get) a promotion if she _____________________ (make)some extra effort, but she always leaves work earlier.I wish it _______________________________ (be) Friday. Cant believe its Tuesday! Argh!If only Joe _______________________________ (ask) me out. I dont think he will.
  4. 4. If I were a boy If I were a boyeven just for a day I think I _________________ understandId ______________________________ of bed How it feels to love a girlin the morning I __________________________________ aand __________________________ what I better manwanted and go Id listen to herDrink beer with the guys Cause I know how it hurtsand _____________________________ girls When you lose the one you wantedId __________________with who I wanted Cause hes ________________________and Id never get confronted for it granted And everything you had gotcause they _______________________ me destroyed Its _____________________________ forIf I were a boy you to come backI think I _________________ understand Say its just a mistake,How it feels to love a girl think Id forgive you like thatI __________________________________ a If you ________________ I would wait forbetter man you, you thought wrongId listen to her But youre just a boyCause I know how it hurts You dont understandWhen you lose the one you wanted and you dont understand, ohhhhCause hes ________________________ How it feels to love a girlgranted And everything you had got Someday _______________________ youdestroyed were a better manIf I were a boyI would __________________________my You dont listen to herphone You _____________________ how it hurtsTell everyone its broken Until you ___________________ the oneso ___________________________ that I you wantedwas sleeping alone Cause youre ________________________ granted And everything you had got destroyed But youre just a boy....I’d ______________________________ firstand make the rules as I goCause I know that she’ll be ___________,waiting for me to come home, to comehome.
  5. 5. Teacher notes:Activities listed can be used in any given order, since they are all relaeted to the main topic, thatis Men vs Women, since they also work as individual units to be used in class.The whole set combines discussion (lots of it), video, song, grammar (hypothetical situations inthe present).Suggestion:1. You may start with page 1, chemical analysis to break the ice... Cut the handout in half, giving the men analysis for women and vice versa, or let Ss have the whole worksheet to themselves, and let them read it. Entice conversation, see if students (dis)agree with what is said.2. 2nd page of this lesson plan contains small cards that you may cut out and give students for the following 2 activities; a) ask them to write as many stereotypes they can think of; it would be good to write for the opposite sex, so women enumerate all the things typical of men and vise versa. Another usage is when they are supposed to list all the advantages of being of the opposite sex in your society.3. There is a truly great video, though not for vocabulary since it is a short cartoon, but it makes fun of the typical stereotypes of (wo)mens behavior. It can be used at the beginning as an ice breaker too, but I like to use it after I have asked the students to write their own ideas, to see how many they have in common with the video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acSvQkghfpsAsk them to jot down or remember things they are (not) doing themselves (e.g. women shoppingfor one thing, and then buying 1001 things they never needed).4. Gender role in the society... Once again you can use the cards from page two, so the Ss write all the advantages they can think of being a (wo)man in your society... Yet again, it would be perfect if you had a mixed class, so the men write about all the privileges women get and vice versa....You may use the following questions to get the conversation going:Do roles of men and women differ a lot nowadays in your country? What has changed? What doyou think will never change?What things are made easier for men/women at: a) work b) school c) relationshipsTypical jobs for women ? Men?5.Introduce 2nd conditional / or revise it with your students....In the end, there is a song by Beyonce that fits perfectly into what has been discussed in class,Cut out the pieces of paper, shuffle the papers and have the students work out the order in pairsor groups of three, and in the second listening let them guess the missing words.If needed, you can provide the missing words by writing them on the whiteboard, but if usedwith higher level classes, it is not needed.The song is great to teach phrasal verbs and phrases as well, since many are missing in the setsuch asTake sb for grantedChase afterKick it withTurn offEtc...I used it with my higher levels students and it really sparked lots of debates, especially withmixed groups. They loved the video and the song... Good luck, hope you enjoy it !

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