There is power in forgiveness in marriage


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There is power in forgiveness in marriage

  1. 1. THERE IS POWERIN FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE To sustain a marriage, then you must learn to forgive your spouse. Thursday, May 22, 2014 1
  2. 2.  We are living in very difficult times and the marriage institution is under great threat. Husbands and wives have continued mistrusting each other. There is so much societal pressure on the institution of marriage. To sustain marriage , I know, there is the Powerof Forgiveness. Thursday, May 22, 2014 2
  3. 3.  This weekI was handling a serious issue with a couple that is about to call of theirmarriage. My message to this couple is that, the answer is not parting ways, but in forgiving each other. Thursday, May 22, 2014 3
  4. 4. What It Means to Forgive  Forgiveness is incredibly powerful. A daily dose of forgiveness can save a lot of marriages. But what, exactly, does it mean to forgive? What are the “active ingredients”? How do we learn to forgive? Thursday, May 22, 2014 4
  5. 5.  In forgiving one another, we draw on the forgiveness that Jesus has given us by making a decision to release anotherfrom the penalty of sin.  Forgiveness is releasing the other fromthe penalty of sin so the relationship can be restored. Thursday, May 22, 2014 5
  6. 6. A decision to release.  You must make a decision to release and not hold back.  Forgiveness means letting go of your right to punish anotherand choosing through the powerof God’s love to hold onto the otherperson rather than his orheroffense. Thursday, May 22, 2014 6
  7. 7.  In the process of forgiving, the first barrieryou have to remove is within yourself. You have to decide to see yourspouse instead of the offense. Often the decision to let go has to be renewed daily, hourly, oreven more often. Thursday, May 22, 2014 7
  8. 8. A decision to sacrifice  You cannot forgive till you know you are sacrificing.  God’s forgiveness required the sacrifice of His Son to pay the penalty forsin. Ourforgiveness requires sacrifices, too, though of a different sort.  Animportant waythat yousacrifice yourclaimto justiceis byrefusingtoThursday, May 22, 2014 8
  9. 9. A decision to trust that God is up to good.  Place all yourdecisions in God.  As Jesus sacrificed He had to entrust Himself to God. He had to trust that God would really deal with the sin that He, Jesus, was paying for. He trusted that forgiveness would make a difference and that His sacrifice was not in vain. He trusted that God would renew and restore His people.Thursday, May 22, 2014 9
  10. 10.  Yourforgiveness doesn’t guarantee a change in yourspouse, but it does guarantee that you’ll grow and that you’ll be protected from bitterness. Trust that forgiveness is the path that God provides to draw backthe curtains that separate you and your spouse. Trust that forgiveness will renew yourmarriage. Thursday, May 22, 2014 10
  11. 11. A decision to grow  You cannot remain in the same place when you forgive. You actually grow yourmarriage.  No matterhow sincere the confession and commitment to change, yourspouse may again sin against you. Thursday, May 22, 2014 11
  12. 12.  Rememberthat change is a process. The forgiveness that God gives us based on Jesus’ one-time death on the cross is bestowed on us day by day forthe rest of ourlives. A purpose of that forgiveness, restoring us to His perfect image, is a process that takes a lifetime. Thursday, May 22, 2014 12
  13. 13. Identifying OurReal Enemies  Too often in marriage when there is offense and conflict, we identify our mates as the enemy. Ourmates are neverthe enemy. If we learn who our enemies really are, we can effectively fight the battles in ourmarriages and rise to victory. Ourreal enemies are the powers of darkness and ourown flesh. These enemies often go unnoticed inThursday, May 22, 2014 13
  14. 14.  Ourflesh seeks to please itself and cannot please God. The apostle Paul warns us about ourflesh, in Romans 8:8, "Those who are still underthe control of theirsinful nature can neverplease God." Thursday, May 22, 2014 14
  15. 15.  The powers of darkness intend forall marriages to be destroyed. If you commit to God and yourmate, you will wrestle with the forces of darkness. Ephesians 6:12 declares, "Forwe are not fighting against flesh- and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this darkworld, and against evil spirits in Thursday, May 22, 2014 15
  16. 16. Forgiveness Is Not  Forgiveness can be quite painful when it involves someone you are madly in love with. In marriage, forgiveness is not "Don't worry about what you did, I'mfine with it and we all make mistakes." We are plagued by an abyss of pain, anger, bitterness, and resentment. Forgiveness is not lip service. Thursday, May 22, 2014 16
  17. 17.  These unchecked feelings can potentially become emotionally, mentally, verbally, orphysically murderous. Forgiveness is not being so numb to pain that we are oblivious to reality. In marriage, when we embrace numbness ourhearts transforminto ice. Forgiveness is not forgetting the offense. Forgiveness is not choosing toThursday, May 22, 2014 17
  18. 18. Struggling to Forgive  How do you forgive someone who was neversupposed to hurt you in the first place? Why forgive them? What about all the damage to your marriage and family? The best answeris you must; forgiveness was extended to you. Thursday, May 22, 2014 18
  19. 19.  Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, "If you forgive those who sin against you, yourheavenly Fatherwill forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, yourFatherwill not forgive yoursins."If you refuse to forgive, you operate in sin and in covenant with Satan. Thursday, May 22, 2014 19
  20. 20.  These questions and declarations are hard to swallow. I have battled with them in my marriage, but I came out victorious. Thursday, May 22, 2014 20
  21. 21.  We struggle to forgive because we justify ourrights and inappropriately apply God's Word. Many of us have declared inwardly oroutwardly, "The Bible said, 'Be ye angry.' "We forget the rest of the Scripture verse: " … and sin not: let not the sun go down upon yourwrath" (Ephesians 4:26, KJV). Thursday, May 22, 2014 21
  22. 22.  If we are honest, many of us are angry and sin fordays, weeks, months, years. Many of us will carry the sin of unforgiveness to ourgrave. Thursday, May 22, 2014 22
  23. 23.  Forgiveness becomes a struggle when we seekto please ourflesh. We struggle because the Holy Spirit demands that we be like Christ. God is as displeased with unforgiveness as he is with sexual sins, deception, lying, and envy. Thursday, May 22, 2014 23
  24. 24.  We must rememberthat any sin eitherof us could commit, Jesus paid forat Calvary. Who gave us the right to make ourspouses pay forsin when we did not? Thursday, May 22, 2014 24
  25. 25. Real Forgiveness Is  Real forgiveness is threefold.  1. Forgiveness means excusing the penalty foran offense, offering pardon.  2. Forgiveness means renouncing angerand resentment.  3.Finally, forgiveness is a choice. God gave all of us the powerto choose. Thursday, May 22, 2014 25
  26. 26.  These definitions are simplistic, but they packenough powerto loosen the stronghold of unforgiveness. As an immature Christian, I thought I had the right to be angry and my sin was justified. It neverwas. Thursday, May 22, 2014 26
  27. 27. Loosening Satan's Grip  The devil understands the power of forgiveness. He had the opportunity to behold the glory of God and the kingdom of heaven. He has been doomed to hell and is mad and desires us to share his fate. Satan knows that forgiveness redeems and restores relationships. Thursday, May 22, 2014 27
  28. 28.  Satan is employed to steal, kill, and destroy. Unforgiveness opens the doorforhimto hold us back. As the sun sets and we nurse anger, bitterness, and resentment, the devil smiles. We have embraced the power of darkness. Thursday, May 22, 2014 28
  29. 29.  God's forgiveness propels us into salvation and restoration. Your marriage can be restored and bring glory to God.   Thursday, May 22, 2014 29
  30. 30. To sustain ourmarriages, we are compelled to forgive. There is powerin forgiveness. Thursday, May 22, 2014 30