Physical and emotional intimacy in marriage part 2


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Physical and emotional intimacy in marriage part 2

  2. 2. SIXPURPOSES OFMARRIAGEMay 23, 20132 A. Companionship 1. Amos 3:3, “Can two walktogether, except they be agreed?’ 2. True companionship will onlygrow out of a oneness of spirit. ITBRINGS 2 PEOPLE TOGETHERASONE.
  3. 3. May 23, 20133 3. True companionship means youwill worktogetherwithin the home. 4. Can you disagree and still workclose together?
  4. 4. May 23, 20134 B. Enjoyment 1. Read Hebrews 13:4 “Honormarriage, andguardthesacredness of sexual intimacybetweenwifeandhusband. Goddraws afirmlineagainst casual andillicit sex”.(MSG) 2. Enjoyment is not something wehave at the expense of our
  5. 5. May 23, 20135 3. Enjoyment has within it theprinciple of self-control. 4. Selfishness must neverbe a partof yourmarital relationship. 5. What would happen in mostmarriages if each partneralwayssought forthe enjoyment of theirpartner?
  6. 6. May 23, 20136 C. Completeness 1. Read Genesis 2:23 “TheMansaid, "Finally! Boneof mybone, fleshof myflesh! NameherWomanforshewas madefromMan.“(MSG) 2. God designed and gave Eve to Adamin orderto complete what was lackingin his life.
  7. 7. May 23, 20137 3. How can we come to the realitythat men cannot make it on theirown but need theirwife? 4. What happens when we do not seeourneed forourwife?Incompleteness. 5. What happens when we do andrespond accordingly? Completeness.
  8. 8. May 23, 20138 D. Fruitfulness 1. Lookat God’s first command inthe Scriptures . Genesis 1:28 “Godblessedthem: "Prosper!Reproduce! Fill Earth! Takecharge! Beresponsibleforfishintheseaandbirds intheair, foreverylivingthingthat moves onthefaceof Earth.“(MSG)
  9. 9. May 23, 20139 2. The command is repeated inGenesis 9:1 and clarified in I Peter3:7, “ being heirs togetherof thegrace of life; that yourprayers benot hindered.”3. Did God call formarriages to havechildren? Some can, some cant, andsome do not want to.
  10. 10. May 23, 201310 4. What is the greatest blessing wecan have in a marriage – lots ofmoney orthe blessing of children?
  11. 11. May 23, 201311 E. Protection 1. Read Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, go all out inyourloveforyourwives, exactlyas Christ didforthechurch--alovemarkedbygiving,not getting”. (MSG) 2. The husband is to protect his wifeby laying down his life forher.
  12. 12. May 23, 201312 3. The wife is to protect the home.Read Titus 2:4,5 4. Together, parents are to protecttheirchildren in orderthat they mayraise up a Godly seed. Read Malachi2:15 and Psalm 112:1,2
  13. 13. May 23, 201313 5. How can the husband protect thewife?a. Spiritual leadership.b. Financial responsibility.c. Sincere and completecommitment.
  14. 14. May 23, 201314 F. To typify Christ and the Church. 1. Read Ephesians 5:31-33 “Andthis is whyamanleaves fatherandmotherandcherishes his wife. Nolongertwo, theybecome"oneflesh."This is ahugemystery, andIdontpretendto understandit all. What isclearest to meis thewayChrist treatsthechurch.
  15. 15. May 23, 201315 Andthis provides agoodpictureofhow eachhusbandis to treat hiswife, lovinghimself inlovingher,andhow eachwifeis to honorherhusband”. (MSG) 2. Ourrelationship in marriageshould be a human object lessonon the divine relationship betweenChrist and believers.
  16. 16. May 23, 2013163. What happens within a marriagewhere the love foreach otheris notlike Christ’s love forthe Church? 4. There are problems and conflicts.How do we solve them? Go backtothe instruction book, the Bible.
  17. 17. A. What is physical intimacy?May 23, 201317 1. First, what it is not. a. Let me clarify that marriage isnot just physical relations. b. It is not just personalsatisfaction. c. It is not just receiving. d. It is not created by the Devil. e. It is not dirty orawful.
  18. 18. May 23, 201318 Why do some people have these kindof feelings?* Received some incorrect trainingas a child.* Experienced physical and/orsexualabuse as a child.
  19. 19. May 23, 201319* Lacks self esteem and has a verylow self image.* Does not understand true intimacyin marriage.
  20. 20. May 23, 201320 2. Now, let me give you just a small listof what it is. a. It is a very important part ofmarriage. b. It is the mutual satisfaction ofeach partner. c. It is the giving of each othertoeach other. d. It is created by God.
  21. 21. May 23, 201321 e. It is clean and wonderful anddesigned by God. Why do some people understand itthis way?* They understand what is truephysical intimacy in marriage.* They have learned from parents orfrompersonal study.
  22. 22. May 23, 201322 3. What is true physical intimacy inmarriage? a. It is that private part ofmarriage that God designed fortheintimate relationship of a marriedman and woman.
  23. 23. May 23, 201323 b. To understand this we mustunderstand that God inventedmarriage. 1) Ourspouse is a gift from God. 2) One clearway in knowing thereis a lackof intimacy is you no longerlookat each otherin the eyes whenyou talk.
  24. 24. May 23, 201324 c. Read Deuteronomy 24:5 “Whenamantakes anew wife, heisnot to go out withthearmyorbegivenanybusiness orworkduties. Hegetsoneyearoff simplytobeat homemakinghis wifehappy”. (MSG). Thegoal of the husband is to make hiswife happy in the first yearof theirmarriage.
  25. 25. May 23, 2013251) How many of you had a hectic firstyearof marriage? 2) The first yearof any marriage isextremely crucial forthe rest of themarriage. 3) When the Bible speaks of “to know”it certainly has to do with sexualrelations but it also has to do withgetting to know yourcompanion to the
  26. 26. May 23, 201326 4) The first yearis very importantbecause the wife has left the securityof herhome and is confronted with awhole new set of insecurities.
  27. 27. May 23, 201327 What are some of those insecurities? * A new bed partner. * A new provider. * Impropercourtship will cause yourspouse to feel insecure. * As husbands we must create theright kind of environment to makeourwives feel secure.
  28. 28. May 23, 201328How many wives here feel insecure whenyourhusband moves you to some newterritory? * Too many people describe theirfirstyearof marriage as hectic so it should beunderstood that it is the man’sresponsibility to make sure the first yearis not hectic. * Do not rush into marriage. * If you did, start working on it now.
  29. 29. May 23, 201329 d. Maybe you are wondering if there isany hope foryourmarriage. THERE IS. 1) Marriage is a spiritual warfare butyou can experience daily victory whenthe right principles are applied. 2) There are two principles: a) Eph. 5:25,28 - Husbands are to lovetheirwives as Christ loved the churchand as theirown bodies.
  30. 30. May 23, 201330 b) I Peter3:1 - Wives are to honorand respect theirhusbands.
  31. 31. May 23, 201331 3) These are two separatecommands set forth in the context ofspiritual warfare. a) A man wants to be respected. * A man wants to be respectedby his employees. * Respect makes a man feelgood - this is the thing he caresabout.
  32. 32. May 23, 201332 * Wives learn to praise yourhusbands fromthe very beginning ofyourmarriage. * A wife may win herhusbandby respecting him.
  33. 33. May 23, 201333b) A woman wants to be loved. * This is the woman’sgreatest need – she wants to beloved unconditionally forwho sheis. * There are three ingredientsof love in the marriage of aChristian couple. Friendship love - afelia
  34. 34. May 23, 201334Sexual love - erotic Love of God - agape: this is whatmakes the Christian marriagedifferent. * This intimacy must be builtinto the marriage from the first nightof the honeymoon.
  35. 35. May 23, 201335 e. Physical intimacy with women isfarmore complex than it is with men. 1) It is three dimensional. 2) It has to do with things like theweather, beautiful flowers, thecourtesy of opening the door, alwaysbeing gentle, and activities whichlead to otherthings.
  36. 36. May 23, 201336 f. Physical intimacy with a man isvery simplistic. 1) Being so different the husbandmust study his wife to seektounderstand herand herneeds. 2) If the husband is committed toreally knowing herthen she will mostlikely be committed to respectinghim.
  37. 37. May 23, 201337g. Dr. Dobson gives 12 steps tointimacy. 1) When these are followed a glue-like bonding takes place between youand yourcompanion. 2) Each step is a little moreintense. 3) These steps are importantthroughout yourmarriage no matter
  38. 38. May 23, 201338 4) TV does not portray these stepsand so neitherdoes oursociety as awhole. 5) These steps are: 1. Eye to body. 2. Eye to eye. 3. Voice to voice. 4. Hand to hand.
  39. 39. May 23, 201339 6. Hand to waist. 7. Face to face. 8. Hand to hair. 9. Hand to body. 10. Mouth to breast. 11. Touching below the waist. 12. Intercourse.