I am OK, You are OK!
Deepak Dhananjaya, Agile Coach, TA Trainee.
Karthik Kamal Balasubramaniam, Agile Coach
Sailaja Manacha PTSTA (psy)
Individuals and Interactions
We all seek BETTER* interactions
*’BETTER?’, we are not sure
However we could propose one of the ways to UNDERSTAND
our interactions which are based on covert assumptions
Time Boxed- Whistle!
Use Tags- We will show when!
• Eric Berne – 1961, school of psychology.
• an easily understandable yet sophisticated
psychological theory about people's thinking,
feelings and behavior.
We intend to do Life Positions and Contracts
One Single RIGHT solution approach
My way or High-way
Less/No Focus on solutions/GOALS
No ACTIVE Listening
• "an explicit bilateral commitment to a welldefined course of action“ – Eric Berne (1966)
• Choose a stressful/difficult situation that you
have handled in the past. Preferably a
situation that you are comfortable to share.
• Find a partner next to you and share the
• Just listen and don’t give suggestions
• Discuss which life position you were operating
• Discuss which life position you think the other
person was operating from?
• Which of the Admin Contracts was in Place?
• Which of the Professional Contracts was in
• Which of the Psychological contracts you think
would have helped?
Admin contracts (samples)
1. How much time do I and You have for this discussion.
2. Where do we meet for this discussion.
3. What do we do if this discussion spills over the time we have
4. Who all (role) are participating in this discussion?
5. Is there a time in the meeting we talk about our discomfort.
6. Can just the participants arrive at a conclusion or need another
role to decide?
7. Who makes the minutes of the meeting?
8. How many meetings do we think we need to achieve the goal.
9. Who is responsible to chair this meeting? (if any)
1. What is the goal of the discussion.
2. What do I(role) expect from you(role) in this discussion.
3. What can I(role) contribute to this discussion.
4. Who others (roles) are required for this discussion.
5. How do we summarize our discussion.
6. What is the agenda for today's discussion.
7. What is the intention of having all the participants in
8. What do we as a group (pair) expect from the senior
group to feel empowered.
How do we know if the goal has been met.
How do I let you know if I feel I am not getting what I want from the
3. How would I know if you are not getting what you want from the
4. How would I express my discomfort
5. How would you express your discomfort
6. What would help for you to express without inhibitions.
7. What do we think is a good way to communicate the senior group that
we are not empowered.
8. What I do when I feel disconnected in discussions?
9. What do I do when I feel disconnected during discussions?
10. Would you like to talk about the concern you have?
11. What do we do so that we don’t fall back to our old game?
12. What support we need from each other to make this happen?