100gm zindagi


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Dear Reader,

I humbly present to you a collection of my insights into experiences that are by and large common to most of us. I have tried to put them down in a manner that it reaches out & the reader can connect with it.
It is not something that already doesn’t exist around us. It’s just that, we often don’t even realize what already exists around us. It is very similar to an incident which I remember vividly. I had taken my two year old daughter on a flight. We boarded the aircraft through an aerobridge. Once on board she kept on wanting to get onto an “airplane” similar to the one she was able to see through the window. I could not convince her that she was on one already.
Essentially this collection is about a journey that all of us are already undertaking. It’s just that, we are so engrossed in making the journey that, we don’t care to look outside the window to see what we are missing. It’s a snapshot of all the little things that are around us which we take so much for granted that, we have become oblivious of their very existence.

I fondly call it “SAU GRAM (100 gm) ZINDAGI”.

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100gm zindagi

  1. 1. Dear Reader,I humbly present to you a collection of my insights into experiences that are by and large common tomost of us. I have tried to put them down in a manner that it reaches out & the reader can connectwith it.It is not something that already doesn’t exist around us. It’s just that, we often don’t even realize whatalready exists around us. It is very similar to an incident which I remember vividly. I had taken my twoyear old daughter on a flight. We boarded the aircraft through an aerobridge. Once on board she kepton wanting to get onto an “airplane” similar to the one she was able to see through the window. I couldnot convince her that she was on one already.Essentially this collection is about a journey that all of us are already undertaking. It’s just that, weare so engrossed in making the journey that, we don’t care to look outside the window to see what weare missing. It’s a snapshot of all the little things that are around us which we take so much forgranted that, we have become oblivious of their very existence.I fondly call it “SAU GRAM (100 gm) ZINDAGI”.
  2. 2. CarryYour Own Weather !Have you ever pondered over quite an Climate takes a long time to change but theobvious fact associated with wearing a weather can always be changed in a shortperfume? The obvious fact that, you while.actually carry the fragrance along wherever Don’t you look forward to meeting ayou go. Those you come across are also particular person who exuberatesgreeted with the same pleasantness that positively? Someone, who always lifts upyou are carrying. It’s not that you are able your mood , no matter how low you mightto change the entire atmosphere but you be. Why don’t you strive to also becomeare able to at least make a difference in “that one person” for somebody else?your immediate vicinity.So if this can be true with regard to aperfume, why can’t it be true with regard Go Ahead “Carry Your Own Weather”.to the mood you carry.
  3. 3. Respect !Respect, my dear boy, can be broadly organization.divided into two parts, I was told by my This was something that you would getfirst boss – a thorough Gentleman who had from day one, irrespective of who or whatspent five years in the Army before you were. It was at face value.deciding to join the Corporate race, whose The second part is the respect that onepresence itself conveyed self discipline of “earns” over a period of time. The respecta man in control, humility and a strange that people give you because of the level ofaura around him made me want to listen to knowledge that you possess, thehim with all my heart. It was only later on commitment that you demonstrate and yourin my association with him that I realized overall involvement that you exhibit withthat, this Gentleman was not only the job as well as the people you workdisciplined; he was an epitome of self- with.discipline.The first part is the respect that you wouldcommand by sheer virtue of the fact thatyou were holding a particular position in an
  4. 4. TuningYourself To Learn!Ever wondered how an outstanding student There is always a syllabus to follow, anthroughout school & college suddenly index to guide you and a point ofstarts struggling in his professional career. reference. Life on the other hand isHis learning curve rapidly declines and over different – it doesn’t have a syllabus, itsa short period of time, he starts to boundary less. So what becomes importantquestion his own learning ability. “This is then is to tune yourself to what you needthe real world”, you are told, not a case to learn. Like a dish antennae or a radio.study or a classroom simulation. The You would end up with an uncannyquestion lingers on in your mind- what am I distortion if it weren’t pointing in the rightdoing wrong? direction or wasn’t properly tuned in.”What usually remains unexplained is thereason why this happens! Think about it- allthrough school and college, you are toldwhat you “need to learn”.
  5. 5. Success in Isolation – A Fact or a Myth!“Nothing succeeds like success- nothing There would never have been an army thatfails like failure” – an often heard won a battle. There would never have beenstatement, quite loosely used at most a “game plan” discussed before a gametimes though. because “that has to be kept closelyThe ambition to succeed is mostly guarded”accompanied with an element of self- I always thought of cycling as an individualimposed secrecy. It’s the fear of somebody sport till one day I saw a documentary onelse beating you in the race for success or Discovery on the Legend called Lancemaybe the fear of your success being Armstrong. I was surprised to learn thatreplicated by somebody else that drives what I perceived all along as an individualthis. Unfortunately it is a popular belief sport was actually an out & out teamthat, the “sweetness of success” is always effort.directly proportional to the level of“exclusivity” of the same. Had this beentrue, no team in the world would ever havebeen successful.
  6. 6. Success in Isolation – A Fact or a Myth!An entire team works around ensuring thatLance wins. The striking difference,however, is that unlike other team sports,the glory in this case is bestowed upon thesingle apparent winner only. The element ofselflessness made quite an impact on me.For all of us who have been “successful” insomething or the other, I guess its time toreflect if we actually share the enablersand the finer points with others around us?If somebody hadn’t thought of this beforeus too, then I am not sure how“successful” we would have been today.
  7. 7. Success in Isolation – Probably a Myth!What a fantastic co-incidence! Just after I “How can you afford to share your besthad posted my previous thought, I came seed corn with your neighbors when theyacross a story which so beautifully are entering corn in competition with yoursdescribes the above. So I had an each year?” the reporter asked.insuppressible urge to share the same. “Why sir, “said the farmer, “didn’t youHappy reading! know? The wind picks up pollen from the “There was a farmer who grew superior ripening corn and swirls it from field toquality and award-winning CORN. Each year field. If my neighbors grow inferior, sub-he entered his CORN in the state fair standard and poor quality corn, cross-where it won him honor and prizes. pollination will steadily degrade the qualityOnce a newspaper reporter interviewed him of my corn.and learnt something interesting about howhe grew it. The reporter discovered thatthe farmer shared his seed corn with hisneighbors’.
  8. 8. Success in Isolation – Probably a Myth!If I am to grow good corn, I must help myneighbors grow good corn.”So I guess from “Nothing succeeds likesuccess” we could start moving to“Success succeeds by sharing it”.
  9. 9. HowYou Are Treated !Some call it “Permit to Promote” while Take any situation in life and you will seeothers refer it to as “being taken for that a person becomes “larger than life”granted”. Any which way, the responsibility only because people around him make himof being treated the way you are, lies with that way. A pedestal has to be present for someone to be on top of it & a group ofyou. It’s no point blaming a bully for people around to applaud once he is on topbullying you because he is able to achieve of it.his objective only because you allow him to So no matter how much you may hold “thedo so. It’s very easy for one to slip into the circumstances” or “the people around you”“victim mode” and start feeling helpless, for the way they treat you , bottom line isfeeble, vulnerable and dependent. It’s no that :point expecting someone else to help youout of such a situation unless you stand up You Are Responsible For How You Are& help yourself. Treated
  10. 10. AreYou WritingYour Future !The media is flooded with programs & Whether it rains or not is a differentfeatures around “a peek into the future”. matter altogether. What is told to you in aFrom a “forecast for the day” to booklets manner of authority (on the subject) does,with “forecast for the year”, it’s all out in fact, go a long way in guiding yourthere. actions?In the bargain, one often does not realize, The result – you end up not “writing yourif you are actually getting guided by the future” in an unbiased manner. Pause aforecast you read? If you go by “The while & reflect:-Secret”, you will in fact end up with afuture that you would have read as a“forecast” somewhere. Don’t you find Are You Reading Your Forecast or Writingyourself carrying an umbrella to work the your Future?day the weatherman predicts rain?
  11. 11. When Everything Around Fails !We are all faced with this kind of feeling at If you are not careful, you will start lookingsome point of time or another. The feeling at everything from this filter & activateof the “Murphy’s Law” having been written the universal “laws of attraction” to attractjust for you – “if something has to go nothing but negativity towards yourself.wrong, it will go wrong at a time when it There is precious little you can do aboutmatters the most”. You start feeling as the things falling in your “Circle of Concern”most wronged person walking around. At (Dr. S. Covey) but by exercising control over yourself & how you react to this, youthese times, it’s very important to be can definitely expand your “Circle ofcautious not to fall into the “victim mode” Control”.& start feeling that “the whole world is outto get me”. Such a mindset is not So, “When Everything Around Seems To Beundesirable and has the risk of almost Falling Apart”, make sure that you keepbordering around paranoia. your thoughts together
  12. 12. The Art of Survival!In the era of Pre-evolution of the human There is a great learning from the basicspecies, “survival” largely meant the theory of evolution. It’s about the ability toability to “stay alive” and was a lot about adapt or change. There is a wonderfulinstinct. Over the years the human race example in the nature around us. Have youhas evolved and has got, so as to say ever noticed that, whenever there is a“civilized”. The mind has turned rationale storm, the only trees that survive itand “staying alive” is a thing taken for unscathed are Palm Trees and the likes.granted. The question to ask, however, is Not just because they are deep rooted orhow we define “being alive”. Biologically, have a relatively smaller canopy. It’syes, we have progressed enough to stay because of their unconditional ability toalive longer which is clearly evident from bend, till the storm blows over.the increase in life expectancies around theworld. But are we “living life” or “stayingalive” in its true sense. That is the realquestion.
  13. 13. To Make Mistakes Is Human!“To Err is human” or “its human to make It should go beyond. Or else the learningmistakes” or maybe “nobody is perfect – will happen but the repeated mistake willits human to make mistakes.” have the same impact all over again. The Common, everyday statements all of us only thing that will change the second timemake, as well as hear in the environment around is that the impact will not seem likearound us. Yes, it is indeed “Human to a stranger.make mistakes”; all of us do; but what is To Make Mistakes is Human, To Repeatmore important to understand is whether Them is “Insincerity”we are sincere enough from making aneffort not to repeat them. It is commonlyknown and accepted that we should “learnfrom our mistakes” but that should not bethe end point.
  14. 14. Only Machines Require Validation!A beautiful analogy can be drawn from this In the bargain, unintentionally though, whatto the work environment around us. But gets cultivated within the child is the needbefore I do that, let us go back a bit into to be reassured each time he is faced withour childhood. As children, grow up , they a situation he can’t comprehend.draw a great deal of solace from their As one steps into the real world and ismothers who are continuous reassuring more often than not , confronted with thefactors in their lives that (in Rancho’s “distortion” that results from the lack of “trademark style) “ALL IZZ WELL”. A tuning to learn”, the first reaction is thatmother’s unadulterated love for her child of looking for assurance around oneself. Ifsees nothing wrong in his or her actions. not careful, one would not even realize thatLogic & rationale take a backseat. How he / she has slipped into the “victimelse would you explain a mother slapping mode”.the “floor” for hurting her child when,actually the floor had absolutely nothing todo with it. It all just boils down to seeingthe smile back on his / her face.
  15. 15. Only Machines Require Validation!This coupled with the sub-conscious which What is important to realize is that we arenests an insatiable desire to be constantly humans and it is “Only Machines Thatreassured, leads to another need – the Require Validation”need to be validated for your actions, eachtime.
  16. 16. One Should Have a “Few Filters”!From all the training programs I have My take on this is that while it is importantattended or the interactions with to remove one’s filters and see things fromManagement Gurus that I have been a different paradigm , it is also equallythrough, a common thought that has always essential to have other filters in place tobeen discussed is the need to be block the negativity that would otherwise“unbiased”, “unprejudiced” and have an find its way in.“open mind” when you engage with people.. Just like the friendly filter at home whichWhat we all popularly know as the ability to blocks the impurities but lets the waterremove one’s filters. flow through. An “open mind” would definitely have aclear reception of the inputs. But an openmind would also receive unwanted“distortion” which would ultimately cloudone’s thinking.
  17. 17. Slow Down IfYou Want to Be Fast!This dates back to the time when I bought So what you end up ultimately seeing at amy first car. I spent the first night after high speed is only a narrow portion of thehaving taken delivery of the car, engrossed road. That, it said was also one of thein absorbing every single word in the factors that related fast driving and the“Owners Manual”, as if it were a holy book. risks associated with it.Not that it was necessary to learn about The same happens with us in day to daythe car, but the sheer pleasure of knowing life. In the rush to attain “ speed ofthe car as something that was my very own thought”, “speed of execution”, “speed ofmade me somehow go back to school days. implementation” and so on, we tend to loseI learnt a scientific concept that day. sight of the more important aspects thatAmongst other things, the manual are essential. We start believing thatdescribed how the angle of vision goes on “speed of execution” is the real measurediminishing as the speed goes up thereby of success.reducing the field of vision with increasingspeed.
  18. 18. Slow Down IfYou Want to Be Fast!As a result, we are often landed in a “Slow down, don’t dance so fast, life issituation where we have executed short and the music won’t last.”something that lacks something veryfundamental. What follows is rework, morelost time and finally frustration. In thesecases it is SPEED that actually slows youdown.
  19. 19. Influence Vs. Acquired Influence!Ever wondered if “The Beatles” ever really They go into a reactive, defensive mode.intended influencing an entire generation. What they are unable to comprehend atOr if Elvis Presley had thousands of look- most times is that, while their consciousalikes and millions who wanted to follow minds might deny “getting influenced”,every aspect of him, only because he had their sub conscious has somewhereintended it to be that way. Maybe, not. Its “acquired “ the “influence”.probably because these people “acquired While “tuning yourself to learn” is more ofinfluence” from what they saw. a conscious effort,” acquired influence” is “You seemed to be influenced by him / a lot to do with the “sub-conscious”.her?”. People tend to react negatively;even with anger at times, whenencountered with such a question or astatement
  20. 20. Reason Based Success & Failure !On a warm sultry monsoon afternoon, some “Both success & failure, young man ,have15 years ago, my boss- a very senior and to have a reason. And in the presentlearned professional, who went on to scenario I can’t quite figure out the realeventually become my Guru Dronacharya – reason for this Success”.& I were taking a drive around the Tea If you don’t know what led to a certainEstate we were working in. We had success, you would probably not be able toachieved a record breaking crop that replicate it. It’s what is generally referredseason and were being applauded by just to as a “flash in the pan”.about everybody who mattered. Things On the other hand, if the root cause forcouldn’t have been better and my boss failure is not known, odds are that oneshould ideally have been on the “top of the would become a failure all over again.world”, but somehow, he had a worriedlook on his face. I eventually mustered upenough courage to ask him why?
  21. 21. 100 gm Zindagi!I recently watched Sanjay Leela Bansali’s And so on. In other words, we are probably“Guzaarish” and for those of you who have consuming life, rather than living it ,watched it, I guess it goes without saying savoring it.that, the film is amazing and leaves an We have lost appreciation of the fact that,impact long after it is over. While the we are fortunate to have been blessed withmovie talks about Euthanasia amongst other a life of normalcy; of the fact that a lot ofthings, what I could not somehow miss was what is good around us is ignored andthe underlying message that probably all of taken for granted by us as a matter ofus know, but have become quite oblivious choice. Ever wondered what would be goingto. on in a person’s mind that does not haveAren’t a lot of us living life like a clock, the good fortune of making a choice aboutwhich completes a circle around the dial “consuming life” while he would have likedeach day, just because it has been to “savor it”.designed to do so? We get up, the day’sroutine, go off to sleep…get up, gothrough the day’s routine again
  22. 22. 100 gm Zindagi..For someone who has to live through each So enjoy every moment as if it were aday in a particular way, just because he lifetime. Relish life, don’t gobble it up.has no other choice. Though gobbling it up would definitely“You only live once”. I have heard this for complete the act of eating, it would neverso long that I don’t even remember when I give you the satisfaction that a meal eatenhad heard it for the first time. What is at leisure gives. Slow down, make time forequally true is the fact that life unfolds yourself, never lose an opportunity toeach day and you never know what the next smile; to make others smile because youfold holds in store for you. Just like the never know what the next moment holds injockey of the most successful race horse store for you.in history “The Secretariat” who was Its your life, its your choice, maybe itsracing one moment and was reduced to a time to pause and ponder if you are makingwheel chair the next, after a nasty fall. the right oneThat’s all it takes for life to change itscourse- it all happens in just a snap.
  23. 23. People Vs. Machines!An umpteen number of biological, This makes it relatively easier to managephysiological, physical factors differentiate them and plan their Management. OpposedPeople from Machines. Maybe, the to this, People tend to react differently toquestion, if asked, would itself sound external stimulus. The same People willoutright silly. Of course we all know the react differently to different stimuli.difference between the two. Different people will react different to theHowever, when it comes to the difference same stimulus. One can make up countlessbetween People & Machines with respect permutations and combinations and cometo managing them, the one thing that sets up with an equally myriad set of reactions.them distinctly apart is the way they react This is what makes “People Management”to an external stimulus. A machine’s so unique and the task so challenging.reaction is always well defined and can be There is no rule book which can teach youpredicted at most times. this in totality.
  24. 24. People Vs. Machines… Maybe, he’s preoccupied with somethingIt is an art you develop over the years and else which has disturbed him, maybe he’san art which sharpens itself with each not well, maybe he’s missed his lunch orpassing experience. very simply , maybe its just not his day.The prime thing to note and always keep in Maybe we need to take a step backwardsmind is that, (just like it is in cricket and try and understand his perspective too.where the benefit of doubt always goes to So while the flick of a switch has a definedthe batsman in case of a close call), reaction, the reaction of a person canwhenever one is encountered with a probably never be.reaction from a person which is out of theordinary, the person is definitely entitledto the “benefit of doubt”.
  25. 25. Do Dreams Come True!Debatable as it may sound but I guess Dreams do come true, it’s mostly aboutdreams do come true. “How can you say recognizing that they have.that?” I’m often asked. The perceptionchanges since more often than not, by thetime you actually realize a dream, and youforget that what you are achieving todaywas probably “a dream” at some point intime in the past. Something we longedfor. What is different is that in thepresent context, newer dreams would havecome into being and taken over.
  26. 26. Tis The Eye of Childhood That Fears !A famous quote from Shakespeare’s play I had read somewhere years ago that “ If“Macbeth”. Lady Macbeth’s words to you start spending even half of theMacbeth, simply telling him that “there’s time that you spend on thinking what isnothing to fear”. Whatever you see is going right in your life, as you do on whatinfact a projection of what you “want to you think is going wrong, you would be asee”. much happier person.Our day to day lives are quite similar.Whether you call it the 80-20 rule or the90-10 rule or the concept of the “Pillar ofGratitude”. We spend so much timethinking about the things that aresupposedly not going right in our lives thatwe lose sight of all that is actually so right.
  27. 27. Acknowledgement – First Step to Change!A particular episode of the famous A number of factors may inhibit a persontelevision series “Prison Break” made from acknowledging it –quite an impact on me and was probably the embarrassment, pride, shame, fear ,first time that the above idea struck me. overconfidence and many more. But at theThere is a character in the series- “Sarah” core of it all lies the fact that, unless youwho suffers from a drug addiction and acknowledge its presence, how are youbecomes part of a group of addicts, who ever going to even begin to make a change.are all making an effort to rehabilitate It’s a lot like explaining your ailment to athemselves. Each person’s introduction doctor.starts like this:“ Hi I am Sarah , and I am an addict”It is an acknowledgement of the fact in itsunadulterated form and unconditionally so;it is the first step towards actuallyaddressing it.
  28. 28. Go Ahead & DO IT!Many great ideas & many great projects When the focus is on the credit , successjust fade away pre-maturely just because fades away and like I always like to believeof the focus on “who will get the credit”. that “Success in Isolation Is Probably aWe see it every day in the world around Myth”us. Many are victims to it too. Why can’t a I guess it’s definitely worth a thought….great thought, a great idea just be turnedinto reality without this thought crossingthe mind.Like President Reagan once said, “There isno limit to what a man can do or where hecan go if he does not mind who gets thecredit.”
  29. 29. AreYou MakingYour Absence Felt!The other day, a friend expressed to me If his presence had always been taken forthe painful conflict of going through the granted, maybe it was time for him toway his presence was always being taken ensure that his absence wasn’t!for granted; a conflict that had driven him Are YOU Making Your Absence Felt?to unexpected extremes. His suggestedsolution to move on triggered the nextthought in my mind –
  30. 30. The Test of Proximity!Many situations weather the “test of time” The same goes for relationships. Whator the “test of distance”. How many times might have thrived wonderfully at ado we consider that the same also needs to distance probably needs to finally passprobably stand the “test of proximity”? the litmus test of proximity.Things can look different at a distance; canseem different when experienced in shortbursts. These can have totally differentdimensions when viewed closely orexperienced at length.
  31. 31. The Baggage of Camouflage!I was having a conversation with agentleman, this afternoon, who is a veteranof the print media & advertising industrywhen he touched upon the importance oftransparency in life. His words lingered onlong after he had said them. “The more Ihide, the more baggage I carry” he said.“The more I need to remember what I havehidden, the more I need to camouflage mytrue self. On the contrary, the more Ishare my true self, the freer I am.”What is it that you would like to do?
  32. 32. Ultimately – WhatYou Leave Behind!“Ek din bik jaayega maati ke mol, jag mein I felt a strong sense of a vacuum aroundrah jaayenge, pyaare tere bol”. I’ve grown myself but realized as the day went byup listening to this song, I’m sure many of that, he had left behind such a lot that ityou have too. will probably more than make up for hisWhat we strive so hard to create around physical absence.ourselves would have little meaning if there I have learned that people may forget whatisn’t much that one leaves behind. It’s like you said, people may forget what you did,that great movie, a sumptuous lunch or a but people will never forget how you madebeautiful song that lingers long after it is them feel.gone.A very dear friend of mine moved toanother city today, in pursuance of hisfuture.
  33. 33. Respect the Other Person’s Position!It’s very easy to have a view on “what a situation is the best that he or she couldperson should or should not have done in a have taken under those circumstances.particular situation” whenever it is There are no absolute “rights” ordiscussed in retrospect, or from a “wrongs”. These judgments are alwaysdistance. No matter how much you claim to relative in nature.be able to “understand” the other person’s You have the right to a different “point ofsituation, or try to be in “his shoes”, there view” but always Respect the decision ais always a gap that will exist between the person would have taken in a particular setimagination & the reality. It’s something of circumstances. After all nobody wants tolike holding a child with your bare hands be wrong by intent.and then doing the same thing with a pair Respect The Other Person’s Positionof gloves on. You can only visualize what itwould actually feel like.I am of the firm belief that whateverdecision a person takes in a particular
  34. 34. Change – A Measure of Success!Often, “how successful you are” tends to What is going right should ideally be leftbe measured by “how much change you alone. That will give you valuable time tohave brought about”. Be it at the start of concentrate on the actual areas that needone’s career or be it at the level of CEOs, to be addressed. It will give you the mentalchange is something that is expected each confidence and comfort that a large part oftime there is a change of guard. In the your pie is well taken care of. It will notbargain, many a times, one ends up distract you, it will not lower your spirits.choosing the wrong things to bring about a It will always edge you to go on.change in. End result, you end up So the next time you look at something youdisturbing a perfect equilibrium. would like to change, look closely. If you still think it requires a change, go ahead & do it or else change the way you look at it.
  35. 35. How Bright Is My Future!A commonly asked question in many What we do on some great future occasiondevelopmental discussions. I would say, will probably depend on what we already“your future is as bright as you make it to are; and what we are will be the result ofbe.” previous years of self-discipline.It is said that “Success is not the result of – H.P. Liddonspontaneous combustion; you have to setyourself on fire”.Even a bonfire needs to be properlyarranged & carefully lit before it lights upfully. So its important to craft a goodpresent in order to have a bright future.There are no real short cuts, no one stopsolutions
  36. 36. The Characters Remain The Same!More often than not, deep down in each How often are you “at peace” the momentsituation lies an element of a “person” you move into a different Company or aplaying the quiet role in driving a person to different walk of life with a new set oftake a decision to quit an organization. It people? I probably can’t answer that either.may still seem otherwise at a surface level I believe that, while the “The ACT Mightbut the moment you dig deeper, this is Change – The Characters Remain Thelikely to emerge. Same”. In the same manner that each ActThe question you are then faced with is has an antagonist & a protagonist, life alsowhether getting away from such a has a more or less pre-defined set ofsituation, would be the solution. The characters. Their names might change,natural answer probably would be “yes it their appearances might change but you willwould”. “If it is a person who has created end up finding each one of them in everyturmoil in my life, his / her absence should walk of life.make things just fine.” How often doesthis really happen?
  37. 37. How Much and When Vs. What & How !Ever thought of eating a week’s amount of Sustaining the pace of it all is actually thefood in a day and then staying hungry for key. The timing as well as the quantum ofthe rest of the week. Or sleeping for 24 anything is as important as what is done &hours and then staying awake for the next how it is done. Or else it loses its meaning.24 hours. Probably not. This is a lesson While all of us would like our flights &that is taught way back in school – “you trains to be on time for instance, it wouldneed to be regular in your studies never be acceptable if they started leavingthroughout the year to do well in your before time.exams” – we’ve all heard this from our To deliver more & faster is not alwaysteachers at point or the other. Somewhere desirable in all walks of life.along the way we forget this basic lesson.
  38. 38. Who is the Most Important Person !Provocative as it may sound, the truth is My logic – ultimately everything finds athat “you yourself” are the most important place in how it affects you. Take yourselfperson in your own life. out of the equation and everything willPeople come up with various responses cease to have a meaning. Its all relative, itswhen I ask them this question. Some name all connected.their parents, others their siblings while Debatable ? It definitely is.still others, their friends. What follows is So the next time you are faced with thisusually a puzzled look which conveys a lack question, think again.of conviction in what they have just stated.“Have I named the correct person?” theyseem to ask themselves.
  39. 39. Cut Out The Glare !Someone must have had the above thought I learnt in the “7 Habits” program, thein his mind when he invented the concept of the space between “stimulus“ &sunglasses. There was precious little that “response” that allows you to choose howhe could have done about the Sun so he you respond to a given situation. Thosethought of an intervention to soften the who are able to exercise this choice evolveeffect. The source remained the same but as better human beings who are in betterthe effect got diluted. A simple thought control of themselves.that kicked off a revolution. So while there is no end in cursing the “Source”, there is definitely a way to “Cut Out The Glare”
  40. 40. Art of Self Stroking!Like most days, I was awakened this And then you are placed in the “real world”morning by the sound of my wife waking up , if I may call it so. The sudden lack ofour daughters for school. Slipping in and stroking , as one is used to, creates aout of sleep, I heard the same words of vacuum which becomes difficult toaffection that are so common to all comprehend. An extreme comparison wouldmothers when they pamper their children. be that of “withdrawal symptoms”Children grow up showered with all the love experienced whenever an addiction is givenand affection that parents can possible up.shower upon them. They applaud the This is when the “art of self stroking”smallest of achievements, and encourage comes into play. The ability to fill theevery hint of an effort. This, embeds in the vacuum that has come into being. I don’tsub-conscious a constant need to be say it can be a substitute, but I guess itstroked; a constant need to be recognized. can surely be a supplement.
  41. 41. Small Gestures that Make Big Difference!While its the big occasions that are always More often then not, the moments thatremembered, it’s usually the small have brought a smile to my face andgestures that make the real difference. touched me deep inside are small momentsRemembering what dish someone likes to of small gestures.order a particular restaurant or what So go ahead and make that smallsomeone’s favorite colour is; or maybe gesture that will make someone smile. It’sjust a bunch of flowers that made someone worth much more than waiting for a bigsmile! The thought of a “small gesture” occasion to come by.lingers on long after the moment is over.Some moments last a lifetime.
  42. 42. KeepYour Life Simple!Simplicity cannot probably be seen in a Haven’t you often found yourself askingmore unadulterated form than what exists questions like “This is too good to be true”in a child’s mind when he / she comes into or maybe “This is too simple to be real”.the world. It’s like a white canvas – Complexity is not something that Natureserene, clear and uncomplicated. As one created; it has been brought into existencegrows up, each experience, each belief that by us humans.sets in, each time you are explained the In this never ending quest for“right & wrong” & the “dos & don’ts”, “complexity”, we keep making additions &creates cross lines on that canvas and it alterations in our lives and then at the endstarts becoming complicated. of it all start wondering “why life is soAlong the way we get so used to complexity complicated?”. Ironical isn’t it?as a prerequisite for normalcy in life that, Keep life simple. It is supposed to be thatunconsciously we start questioning the very way.genuineness of a situation, the moment itlooks simple.
  43. 43. Success – Only Measure of Competence ?Nothing Succeeds Like Success” & varied contributions and above all being at“Nothing Fails Like Failure” the “right time” at the “right place”.Sure enough, in the “real world” as it is It is never the result of competence alonepopularly referred to , my point above & ideally should never be looked at inwould sound absurd or even out rightly isolation either. It may play a major roleridiculous. After all, how can success not but should not be the only yardstick to havebe the only measure of competence? Its a co-relation. It becomes important totangible & its SMART. consider competence a constant and thenThe mere absence of success is not a mark evaluate it with the results that areof incompetence. Like it is said “Failure is produced when other factors around ita stepping stone to success”. move dynamically.However, the fact that often getsoverlooked in the bargain is that, Success,at the end of the day is a sum total ofmany factors; many driving forces ;
  44. 44. Run LikeYou’ve Never Run Before!How many would remember that Dhoni did The “NITRO” option in cars / video gamesnot have a great run right till the final propels the car into a tizzy, but also has amatch in the 2011 World Cup? History limit. So unless you use it at the rightwould always remember him as the captain time, it will not give you the desiredwho played a pivotal role in leading his leverage.team to victory. How well he led his team So while it is important to possess theor how crucial in “on-field” decisions were, ability to be able to run; it is equallymay be all contributory factors but at the important to recognize the moment whenend of the day the distinguishing factor you should “Run Like You’ve Never Runwas that he peaked at the right moment. Before”.He played his best knock on the day that itmattered the most. It was like the“Murphy’s Law” but totally reversed.In other words, “he ran like he had neverrun before”.
  45. 45. Conditional Happiness !I guess we have got so used to the asterisk From a state of “happiness, we seem tomark of “conditions apply” in every other have moved to a state of “conditionaloffer that comes by, from banks, cellular happiness”. You don’t need a “fine print”operators or financial institutions, that we in life to limit your happiness. You justhave started applying this to our lives too. need to be happy; unconditionally.It’s ok to plan that “I will work for 11 No one is in control of your happiness butmonths and then take a well deserved you; therefore, you have the power toholiday break in the 12th month”. But change anything about yourself or your lifenobody stops you from letting your mind that you want to change.take a holiday today
  46. 46. 100 Reasons !Ask somebody why something hasn’t been Bottom-line : Hundred good reasons is notdone and he will usually start telling equal to one good result.you “how” there were a number ofreasons why it wasn’t done. Fact stillremains that the job hasn’t beencompleted.
  47. 47. Put a Debt OnYour Dreams!Ever since I wrote “Dreams Do Come Once you have a dream, go ahead & put aTrue”, I have often been asked “How do “debt” on your dream for it to become adreams come true?”. Although it’s quite reality – believe in it.thought provoking, this probably does not At the end of the day, we all have our ownhave a complete answer. However, the one life to pursue, our own kind of dream to bethought that did cross my mind was: weaving. And we all have some power to“When you put a debt on your dream, it make wishes come true, as long as webecomes a reality”. It’s a lot like fixing the keep believing.responsibility & accountability of “success” Go ahead - “Put a Debt On Your Dreams”.on an individual.
  48. 48. Jealousy Will Never GetYou Anywhere!The main difference between envy and It reflects the longing to be where someonejealousy is that envy is an emotion related else is or to possess what someone elseto coveting what someone else has, possesses, without him or her losing itwhereas jealousy is the emotion related to either. It’s the desire to emulate the other.fear that something you have will be takenaway by someone else.These two are often confused with eachother but a fine line distinctly divides thetwo. While jealously has a negativeconnotation, envy can be termed as apositive emotion.
  49. 49. KeepYour Water Weed Free !Have you ever tried wading through a Its upto each one of us to decide what weswamp or a stream with underwater want as part of our water and what wegrowth? Isn’t it more difficult as compared don’t.to wading through clear water. Sure it is! It’s your own water, keep it “Weed Free”.Life is quite like that water- the clearer wekeep it, the easier it is to wade through it.The “Weeds” could be in the form ofthoughts or people or even circumstances.
  50. 50. Be Grateful for WhatYou Have!I know that you all have heard tons about Apply the same logic to a situation when we“how we should be grateful for what we react to what we receive in our lives ahave” or “ how we should be grateful that similar manner. We are God’s kids too andwe are better off than so many”. There is, HE would also be equally disappointed if wehowever, a perspective I would like to reacted in a manner that seemedshare with you. The narrative is something “ungrateful”. HE must have also had a Planwe can all relate to. for our lives.“ I came back home one day with two bars Don’t disappoint the Giver – Be Gratefulof chocolate for my daughters – the retort For What You Have!I received on handing them over was “ OhPapa, you should have got us ice-creaminstead”. My first emotion was a feeling ofdisappointment that they were insensitiveto the fact that I had made the effort ofgetting the chocolates in the first place”.
  51. 51. Tailor Made Solutions ?No matter which source you resort to, Try & become the “tailor of solutions” inthere is one thing in life which is non- your own life and you will suddenly find aexistent and that is “Tailor-made solutions” paradigm shift in the way you startto any problem or situation. It’s infact evaluating the solutions around yourself.futile to expect that. “There Are No Tailor-Made Solutions in“One stop shops” may be relevant to Life”materialistic requirements of life, but whenit comes to satiating the emotionalquotient, you have to interpret the solutionat hand in a manner that it can be bestadapted to your own need.No body knows your situation better thanyou, so while the essence of it can beexplained, it takes a lot to make somebodyelse understand exactly what is desired asa solution.
  52. 52. Approach to Life !We all have childhood memories of the Look Back & Gain Experience.reference to 360 Degrees in Geometry and Look Forward & See Hope.then as one grew up the reference became Look Around & Find Reality.more metaphorical, figurative & symbolic.In today’s world, a popular feedback tool Look Within & Find Yourself!is referred to by the same name. But haveyou ever thought of a “360 DegreeApproach To Life”? It’s probably theclosest you can get to tailoring the existingsolutions in the world around to meet yourown requirements.
  53. 53. Don’t LetYourself Down!At some point or other in life, we would all So at the end of the day its important tohave been confronted with the burden of understand that while you might be striving“not letting someone down”. At home, our to live upto somebody else’s expectations itparents, at school our teachers, at work all boils down to the fact the you:our superiors & outside work our families. “Don’t Let Yourself Down”In the bargain, have you ever had the timeto reflect that at the end of it all, you arenot living upto anybody else’s expectationbut your own. It is just seen as a reflectionin the other person.
  54. 54. The Upside of Being Down & Out !The feeling generally associated with being What, then emerges is an uncomplicated &“down & out” is the feeling of being simple environment, which if properlydefeated, beaten & overpowered. But what comprehended, can become the perfectlies beneath, & is often overlooked, is a time to reflect & plan ahead. However, ingreat positive when a person in such a life, we tend to get so bogged downsituation. The best part about hitting rock about “Being Down & Out” that we neverbottom is that the only way you can go is notice the “real UPSIDE”.UP. The pressure of “sustainability”commonly associated with being on the top& successful, just disappears becauseafter all, there is no way one would beburdened with sustaining such a state.
  55. 55. The Importance of Being Discreet !Probably one of the significant building Once a person trusts you, his part is over.blocks of building trust is the art of being The responsibility of living upto that trustdiscreet. When somebody confides in you, then lies with you. One should not assumehe or she is deposing his total trust in you that just because you are comfortable withwhich then becomes your moral duty to sharing something with a person, somebodyrespect. By not being discreet, you end up else would also be.breaching that trust. It brings about a lot of Respect the Trust – Be Discreet!hurt and pain and even puts relationshipsat stake.
  56. 56. Financial Loss – Affordable Loss!Opposed to popular belief – I feel that a So the next time you are faced with afinancial loss is probably the most monetary loss which is still manageable, beaffordable loss that one can be faced with. thankful that it is “affordable” & move onThis is one loss that comes withopportunities for you to possibly make it upin the future. Even in the present context,it is usually compoundable.There are many other losses in life,intangible in nature which can never bemade up. Those are the real losses toworry about.
  57. 57. Audacity – A Trait Difficult To Handle!You can reason with a reasonable person. Coping with this “trait of audacity” is theYou can talk sense or put your point real challenge.forward if there is humility in acceptanceof your point of view too. But the one thingthat defeats all logic & reasoning is“audacity”. All around us we see examplesof “audacity personified” in everyday life.People who won’t bat an eye lid beforegiving you an answer that would make yourjaw drop in disbelief.
  58. 58. If you liked this ebook, here’s what you can do to contribute to “100 gm Zindagi” –a. Send this file to a friend (it’s sort of big, so ask first)b. Send them a link to www.100gmzindagi.wordpress.comc. Print out as many copies as you liked. Write to 100gm Zindagi at 100gm.zindagi@gmail.come. Follow 100gm Zindagi on