Concept eq


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  1. 1. Dear members 13-08-2012We have received just one article so far and it is a disturbing trend. Usually by now wewould have received as many as 7 articles and started our correspondence with the authors tomake corrections and resubmit. Hence to help you wear your ‘thinking caps’ the followinginformation ‘culled’ from different sources available in the internet are given.You may use these and develop further to write articles on Helping Children Overcome Their Anxiety, Anger Management at School Level, Emotional Problems as Perceived by Parents, Teachers, Students themselves, School-Teacher-Parents role in EQ development of children, Children and EQ, Interpersonal and Intrapersonal skills needed for school children, Bullying, ragging and EQ, Role of EQ in suicide prevention (excellent topics to conduct short and quick field studies) EQ Enhancement, EQ Enrichment and the like.Remember: 22nd Aug 2012 is the last date for submission of articles as ecopy and CDversion apart from a print copy.Please mention the following about authors:Name with initials, current position/ designation, Institution and place with PINcode. Yours truly
  2. 2. UNABRDIGED AND UNCORRECTED VERSION OF SOME OF THE INFORMATIONCOLLECTED FROM INTERNET. PLEASE RESPECT COPYRIGHT LAWS ANDETHICS OF JOURNALISM. YOU CAN USE BUT NOT PLAGIARIZE.We are pleased in this issue of CDTL Brief to present several informed perspectives on thesubject of EQ.March 1999, Vol. 2 No. 1 Print-ReadyNurturing Emotional Intelligence in University StudentsProfessor Hang Chang ChiehDeputy Vice-Chancellor Producing well-rounded students and achieving academic excellence are traditional goals ineducation emphasised by NUS in its strategic plan for the 21st century and recentlyreaffirmed by the Ministry of Education in its publication, The Desired Outcomes ofEducation. The need to cultivate the mind, or rational intelligence, and personal qualities andinterpersonal skills, or emotional intelligence, has never been more crucial than before.The term emotional intelligence was coined by Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990 andthen popularised by Daniel Goleman in 1995 in his ground-breaking bestseller, EmotionalIntelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ?. According to Goleman, rational intelligence(or rather, intelligence quotient – IQ for short) only contributes about 20% to the factors thatdetermine success in life. Some extraneous factors such as luck, and particularly thecharacteristics of emotional intelligence (or rather, emotional quotient – EQ for short),constitute the other 80%. These vital EQ characteristics are the abilities to motivate oneselfand persist despite frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’smood and keep distress from overwhelming thought; and to empathise and to hope.Management guru Stephen Covey, author of the bestseller, The Seven Habits of HighlyEffective People, has observed that highly effective people are proactive; begin with the endin mind; put first things first; think win/win; seek first to understand, then to be understood;synergise; sharpen the saw. But beyond understanding the importance of such qualities, onehas to practise them constantly and, in so doing, internalise them as habits. Consequently,part of our role as teachers is to nurture EQ to assist such habituation.Definition of EQ
  3. 3. The study of emotion and its practical importance has interested people for many centuries.In the 1st century B.C., Publilius Syrus said: “Rule your feelings, lest your feelings rule you.”For David Packard, a guiding principle in developing and managing Hewlett-Packard hasbeen the advice given by his football coach: “Given equally good players and good team-work in a championship, the team with the strongest will to win will prevail.”Yet, the developing of emotional strength was not explicitly regarded as a skill that can belearnt and mastered until Daniel Goleman published Emotional Intelligence. Other authorshave since further expanded the meaning, development and applications of emotionalintelligence. The following are two simple definitions EQ:“EQ is the ability to sense, understand, andeffectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy,information, connection and influence.”(Robert Cooper and Ayman Sawaf)“EQ is the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s feelings, to discriminate among them andto use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” (Peter Salovey and John Mayer)It is clear from these definitions that a person with high rational intelligence does notautomatically possess high EQ. For all students to be well rounded, it is thus necessary toenhance both their IQs and EQs.EQ QualitiesEQ consists of five major qualities or characteristics: 01 Self-awareness 02 Mood management 03 Self-motivation 04 Impulse control 05 Interpersonal skillsThe first four can be broadly grouped under intrapersonal EQ. They each influence thedevelopment of one’s courage, perseverance, enthusiasm and passion. Such personal qualitiesare vital in competitive sports, breakthrough scientific research, inventions, entrepreneurshipand extraordinary achievements. They also make the difference because creative solutions or
  4. 4. radically new approaches are usually considered illogical based on conventional wisdom;they only become logical on hindsight.An example is the development of fuzzy logic. When Professor Lotfi Zadeh first proposedthe concept in 1965, most scientists and engineers could not accept this radically newproposal and disregarded its potential practical significance. They thought it was absurd tohave logic that was not precise. More than 15 years later, Japanese engineers successfullydemonstrated the wide applications of fuzzy logic, ranging from controlling high-speed trainsto simple cameras and washing machines. Consequently, fuzzy logic is now the foundation ofthe new science of ‘Soft Computing’ that deals rationally with imprecise knowledge.Through the years of being rejected, Professor Zadeh remained passionate about hisdiscovery and continued to champion it, thereby demonstrating extraordinary intrapersonalEQ.Intrapersonal EQ qualities are equally important to all of us in our daily lives. Through self-awareness, we are conscious of our feelings and can deal with them better. Self-awarenessalso helps us to catch any worrisome episode as soon as possible. Through moodmanagement, we can act to overcome any negativity (e.g. being angry or depressed) thatprevents us from accomplishing our goals. To hope or think positively helps us to sustain ourmorale in the face of setbacks or defeats. Self-motivation is the internal drive to scale newheights, overcome obstacles, disappointments and frustrations, and search proactively foropportunities. It also prompts us to initiate resolving conflicts, seeking clarification andmending relationships. Impulse control allows us to resist temptation and delay gratification;it encourages a person to pursue higher goals as he/she copes better with the stress associatedwith a difficult task, foregoes short-term rewards for more substantial long-term goals, andfollows through on difficult plans.The fifth quality can be called interpersonal EQ. It is the ability to understand other people:what motivates them, how they work, how to work co-operatively with them. It requires thefundamental skill of empathy – identifying oneself mentally with a person and understandinghis/her feelings. Empathy makes other people feel safe enough to talk freely without fear ofbeing judged. There is a great difference between listening and empathetic listening. Inlistening, we listen but may not hear what the speaker is saying; instead, we may be trying tointerpret what they mean. In empathetic listening, we place ourselves in the speaker’s shoes,undergo what he/she is feeling and identify with his/her problems.Empathy and the four intrapersonal EQ qualities combined together create other importantinterpersonal skills that Hatch and Gardner of Harvard University have identified: Organising groups Negotiating solutions Personal connection
  5. 5. Social analysisIn all, these are the stuff of interpersonal polish, the necessary ingredients for charm, socialsuccess and even charisma!Interpersonal EQ is essential in the practice of management with ‘heart’. Managers with lowinterpersonal EQ criticise easily and are frugal with praise. In contrast, managers with highinterpersonal EQ empathise, show compassion, praise others generously, avoid prejudice, andaccommodate mistakes by using them as opportunities for staff to learn and gain experience.With their positive outlook, they are easy to interact with; they also gain trust, buildconsensus and co-ordinate teams well.Such managers will be very important in the knowledge-based economy of the 21st centuryfor effective teamwork in a flat organisation of empowered knowledge workers will be acritical competitive advantage. There is need to pay special attention to developing suchskills, particularly as life becomes potentially more impersonal with technology – email anddistance deliveries, for instance, becoming increasingly pervasive.EQ ImprovementUnlike IQ that may only be marginally improved over the years, EQ can be nurtured andsignificantly strengthened and it is never too late for students to improve their EQ. It is,however, harder to nurture EQ than IQ in a classroom setting. Traditionally, schools anduniversities have used opportunities such as extracurricular activities to provide a roundededucation, indirectly facilitating the development of students’ EQ.Other more direct and conscious strategies can be adopted too. The first essential step,naturally, is to have students gain a better understanding of the fundamentals of EQ. Thismight be achieved through awareness courses or self-study. Having been made aware, theyshould be encouraged to reflect on the differences between high IQ vs. high EQ people asillustrated in Table 1. What follows should then be the practice of what has been learnt tillthese habits become automatic and integral components of one’s character. For instance, ifimpulse control is weak, walking often amongst peaceful surroundings might have a calmingeffect while regular exercise improves general well being. Participation in committee workwould be one way of practising people skills. All these efforts could be part of achieving EQimprovement as a life-long pursuit.Creative Thinking and IntuitionEQ can also be cultivated via academic pursuits. As university education increasinglyrequires the exercise of creative thinking skills through open-ended assignments and projectwork, students will have more opportunities to practise and improve their EQ skills. The
  6. 6. conventional educational approach where obtaining the right answer all the time isemphasised tends to prevent new ideas from emerging that might unravel complexdifficulties. In contrast, creative problem solving encourages the development of multipleideas, no matter whether they are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. This process allows for questioning ofthe status quo, prompts a ‘why not’ mindset, and promotes humility and tolerance forambiguity and multiplicity of viewpoints, embracing even those from non-experts. Clearly,this concurrent nurturing of both problem-solving and EQ skills will better prepare studentsfor the competitive knowledge economy that requires the flexibility and fortitude to solvereal-world problems for which no easy answers might be found.A more advanced source of problem-solving skill is intuition, defined in the dictionary as“direct knowing without the conscious use of reasoning”. Intuition, when followed bythorough analysis and planning, has sparked many innovations and successful businessdevelopments globally and is now a widely sought-after quality in an entrepreneur, leader, orgreat scientist. This is because intuition is a great asset when there is not enough informationor when there is too much data that confuses the situation. It may be described as ‘gutfeeling’ or a form of self-awareness (one of the basic qualities of EQ) that enables us to listento our hearts and distinguishes opportunity from vulnerability; truth from politics; depth frommotion. A heightened dimension of emotional intelligence, intuition can be better understoodand practised continually, drawing on emotional wisdom garnered through past experiences.Other intrapersonal EQ qualities also help in the process of learning and practising intuition.For instance, one needs to overcome fear when dealing with the unknown. We cannot beintuitive if we are anxious about being right. We need to gain experience and hence shouldnot be afraid to make mistakes. This requires emotional strength. As General BolivarBuckner once said: “Judgement comes from experience and experience comes from badjudgement.Concluding RemarksI shall now address the inter-relation of IQ and EQ. First, emotions are known to be powerfulorganisers of thought and action. EQ often complements IQ when we need to solve complexand vague problems or make a key decision, and helps in accomplishing these tasks quicklyand with exceptional results. Emotions invoke intuition, helping us to anticipate uncertaintiesand plan our actions accordingly. IQ and EQ in tandem lift intelligent energy. As NUSincreasingly emphasises creative thinking, independent research and teamwork, the nurturingof EQ will contribute tremendously to academic performance. All university students shouldbe urged to develop their EQs to match or even surpass their IQs.Second, the mutually complementing roles of IQ and EQ are crucial in teamwork. A teamleader should have a high EQ if the team is to have a good chance to perform brilliantly. Thehigh-EQ leader would muster team members with high IQ and EQ and harness both thesestrengths to boost team performance.
  7. 7. Much of what I have discussed in this paper is common sense, but certainly not commonpractice. NUS provides many opportunities and an excellent learning environment forenhancing knowledge while nurturing EQ. By highlighting the importance of acquiring EQ tostudents, we will, hopefully, cultivate EQ literate graduates who will become champions ofEQ as well as role models of life-long learners in EQ in their future workplace.References1) Robert Cooper and Ayman Sawaf, Executive EQ, Orion Business Books: 1997.2) Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than IQ?, BantamBooks: 1995.3) Patricia Patton, EQ In The Workplace, SNP Publishers: 1997.4) Peter Salovey and John Mayer, “Emotional Intelligence”, Imagination, Cognition andPersonality, Vol. 9(3), 1990, pp. 185-211. © 2012 CDTL Brief is published by the Centre for Development of Teaching and Learning.Reproduction in whole or in part of any material in this publication without the writtenpermission of CDTL is expressly prohibited. The views expressed or implied in CDTL Briefdo not necessarily reflect the views of CDTL.The Importance of Developing Emotional IntelligenceAs I see it, there are many reasons to develop a childs natural emotional intelligence. Forexample: Dealing with threatening situations Helping others Conscience and Moral Autonomy Happiness Mutual respect, cooperation, empathy
  8. 8. Responsibility IndividualityI have written about each of these in my EI in my parenting section.linkSo called "Disruptive" students and behaviorsA thought on "disruptive behavior" - if a student were to start bleeding, would the teacher callthis "disruptive behavior"? If the seats the students are forced to sit in were electrified andsent shocks to the student, causing him or her to scream out in pain, would this be considereddisruptive behavior? But for the student who "disrupts" the normal class, the student istypically in some kind of pain.Pain from boredom, pain from needs not being met. Why have the teachers chosen to call astudents pain and needs "disruptions"? Maybe the teachers like to label students and behavioras "disruptive" because the teachers themselves are actually the most direct cause of the painand the unmet needs. For example, when a student needs to get up and move around and theteacher wont let him. In this example, I would say the teacher is causing the student pain. Bylabeling the student disruptive when he tries to move to stop his pain, the teacher avoidstaking the responsibility for causing the pain. If a student is bored to the point where it startsto become painful, so he tries to make the class more interesting by talking, telling jokes etc.,are we to blame the student for this. too?I dont believe this is helping society. This pain and these unmet need cause problems outsideof the school buildingSee Unmet Emotional NeedsIndividual Differences and Innate NeedsHere is a very good quote about education and differing individual needs.Respect for differences requires an "agricultural" model that focuses on individual nurtureand cultivation due to innate needs. We use differing methods for growing cabbages andazaleas. And, there is no problem over which way is better; one isnt right and the otherwrong. Anyone would call a farmer a fool who planted them in the same place, and gavethem the same fertilizer, sun and water. We value each, and, knowing they will not thriveunless needs are met, we respect their different natures and accept their special requirements.From: Choice as a Way to Quality Learning, Nancy
  9. 9. My Comments on Natural vs. Fabricated ConsequencesAlfie Kohns Chapter on Punishment and PseudochoicesComments by Norma SpurlockArticle by Teresa Pitman (also saved as edu_art1.htm)EQ News!EQ News! was a publication started by EQI for those interested in elementary education Hereare the issues which were published.EQ News! Vol. 1, Issue 1ContentsEditors Perspective Interview with Peter SaloveyWhat is Emotional Intelligence? School Profile of the MonthWhat Have Studies Found? Consultants Corner (S. Hein)Presently, the other two are available in printed form. I may put them on line at some point inthe future. The contents are as follows:Issue 2 How Teachers Become Emotion Coaches-- Interview with John GottmanWhose Needs and Feelings are More Important? -- Steve HeinPeter Salovey interview continued.Issue 3 Spotlight on a Social Development ProgramPart 2 of Interview with John GottmanExpanding Emotional Literacy-- Steve HeinLow Emotional Intelligence Among Head Teachers?A consultant in the UK wrote this letter to a colleague,Susan,I recently did a study of UK Head Teachers. There were 109 Heads in my sample and Ilooked at emotional intelligence alongside a number of health parameters, school size andtype of school.
  10. 10. As there are different ways that MSCEIT data are scored, I am re-running the results as theemotional intelligence scores were much lower than expected.(Actual letter posted on EMONET, May 11, 2004LinksAlfie Kohn (his guestbook is very interesting reading)Taking Children Seriously - Lots of good articles and resources on alternative andprogressive child developmentArticle by Romesh Ratnesar, Time Magazine, 1997 - Good collection of - Organization in the UK which is promoting emotional education - Site opposing the No Child Left Behind law in the USA whichis forcing more standard testsAlternative Schools, Alternative Educationhttp://www.creatinglearningcommunities.org - Ann Zeises site International Democratic Education Education Revolution - AERO (Alternatve Educ.Resource Organization) Jerry Mintz International Democratic Education Conference David GribbleIn conventional schools children are literally prisoners: the law keeps them in. Learningaccording to inclination is not an option; childrens inclinations are not considered relevant;adults tell them what they must learn. They make the best of it and enjoy themselves as muchas they can, but they are always under someone elses authority, unable to conduct themselvesas they would wish, unable to follow up their own interests. School seems to be designed todestroy their individuality, to turn them all, as the Swiss teacher, Jürg Jegge says, intocogwheels that will fit smoothly into the machinery of society. David GribbleResources, Reviews, Recommended Reading
  11. 11. Notes from Maria Montessoris booksNotes from educator Norma Spurlocks workNotes from Haim Ginotts booksNotes from M. Hysons book on developing an emotion-centered curriculumNotes from John Holts book "How Children Fail"EQ News!Under construction - High School Course OutlineResponsibility Training, by Norma Spurlock, 1996How Children Fail, John Holt (Based on a journal of classroom observations. His conclusionis that children fail because they are "scared, bored and confused.")From Childhood To Adolescence, Maria MontessoriTo Educate the Human Potential, Maria MontessoriPunished by Rewards, Alfie Kohn (Very heavily research-based. A bit difficult to read/veryacademic. Basic conclusion is that all forms of extrinsic motivation are inferior to intrinsicmotivation. Even rewards fail to motivate in the long run.)Emotional Development of Young Children: Building an Emotion-CenteredCurriculum (Early Childhood Education Series) by Marion C. HysonTrying Freedom, Richard Meisler (A college teachers experience in giving his students morefreedom.)Michel Foucaults "Discipline and Punish, the Birth of the Prison", and JohnTaylor Gattos "6 Lessons of a School teacher."Schools turn beautiful children into ugly adults.Steve Hein If I had to make a general rule for living and working with children, it might be this: be waryof saying or doing anything to a child that you would not do to another adult, whose goodopinion and affection you valued.John Holt
  12. 12. I had a major struggle; I had a teacher’s certificate and realized for the first time in my lifethat I was not an educated person. I was this person who had gotten wonderful grades andknew nothing, who had very few skills.Grace LlewellynAuthor of "Teenage Liberation Handbook" If emotional and intellectual life are one, the same, there is no conflict. If we keep thesespheres separate, we set limits on both education and intelligence.Stanley Greenspan, The Growth of the Mind: And the Endangered Origins of Intelligence"The role of the teacher shifted from being a guide to being an "agent" of the ruling classes.Through using repetition and rigid instruction, teachers train students to obey, to learnpassively and to compete against each other. Like a soldier, or a policeman, the teacher usesdiscipline, which manifests in a constant demand for silence and a refusal to allow pupils todissent, as the tools to shape classroom culture and student behavior."From "The Handbook of Alternative Education", by the National Coalition of AlternativeSchools (NCAS) Contacts: (505) 474-4312; Jerry Mintz, 417 Roslyn Rd. Roslyn Hts, NY11577, Phone (516) 621-2195Romesh Ratnesar articleAbstract: Daniel Golemans bestselling book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can MatterMore Than IQ has influenced many school systems in the US to teach such values askindness and people skills. Proponents of emotional learning curriculum say its helpschildren both academically and socially.Patrice Edwards teaches second grade at Beecher Elementary, a public school in New Haven,Conn., where most of her students wear maroon-plaid uniforms. Thats the first indicationthat something unusual is going on. Heres the second: on a recent September morning, as the25 children in Edwards class sat cross-legged on the floor passing a big blue ball around,they whispered compliments to each other. "Youre a nice speller." "Youve got pretty hand-writing." "You are a good artist." A soothing calm settled in the room. For the moment,traditional academics were nowhere to be found. Edwards says the kids are learning deepertruths. "We are teaching them values that are universal," she says. "Being kind to a person--thats something all people need to do."
  13. 13. This is school? Kindness is an ancient virtue, but the idea of formally teaching six- andseven-year-olds to give compliments in an inner-city public school is brand-new. In NewHaven all students from kindergarten through high school take part in the districts SocialDevelopment Program, which weaves "emotional learning" exercises--like the ball-rollinggame--into the fabric of an ordinary school day. School officials say problem-solving andstress-management skills are as essential as literature and long division to a 90s education."We believe it needs to be comprehensive, just like science and math," says Merrie Harrison,a seventh-grade teacher. "Every child, every school, every year."As many as 700 school districts across the country have instituted programs that aim tonourish students souls as well as their minds. And while the best teachers have long taughtkids to behave and play fair, they now have science on their side. In 1995 psychologist andNew York Times science writer Daniel Goleman published Emotional Intelligence: Why ItCan Matter More Than IQ, which contends that childrens ability to recognize their ownemotions, empathize with peers and deal with crises--their "emotional quotient," or EQ--influences their life chances as much as native intelligence. The book, now a paperback bestseller, has had a catalytic effect. Rutgers psychologist Maurice Elias, a pioneer in emotionaleducation, says he fields endless calls, E-mails and faxes from interested educators. "There iscredibility now given to taking time in the school day to carry out this kind of work," he says.For many teachers, this new focus is welcome. The forces driving students to distraction havenever been stronger. Says Goleman: "If you are a kid who wants to avoid depression orviolence and not drop out, academic topics will have nothing to do with it." Marylu Simon,school superintendent in Highland Park, N.J., says many children arrive at school "simplyangry from some situation that has happened at home. It affects their ability to come into theschool, sit down at their desk and be ready to learn."So Highland Park sixth-graders are taught to act as cool-headed "peer mediators" who swoopin to resolve tussles among their peers. At Hazel Valley Elementary School, outside Seattle,misbehaving students go to principal Barbara Waltons office not for a scolding but for aquestionnaire that asks them to identify the classroom problems they caused and to generatesolutions."Its nice to have discipline thats problem solving and not just punishment,"Walton says. Some parents bristle at such squishy, New Agey techniques. At its worst, theysay, emotional learning verges on therapy sessions for third-graders. "I dont want mychildren talking about my familys problems in the classroom," a Highland Park father said ata school meeting. But EQ gurus such as Professor Roger Weissberg of the University of
  14. 14. Illinois in Chicago say students in the best programs have shown not just "more positiveattitudes about ways to get along with people" but also improvements in critical-thinkingskills. And in New Haven, teenagers say theyre witnessing less violence, toting fewer gunsand having sex later. Admittedly, better behavior does not ensure academic achievement. ButAmerican schools will take good news where they can find it. -- End --InfoTrac Web: Expanded Academic ASAP Intl Ed.. Full content for this article includes illustration and photograph. Source: Time, Sept 29, 1997 v150 n13 p62(1). Title: Teaching feelings 101. (teaching emotional intelligence) Author: Romesh RatnesarFull Text COPYRIGHT 1997 Time Inc. All rights reserved.How to Promote Emotional Intelligence in ChildrenEmotional Intelligence is the word of the hour. Do you want your kids to grow up to beemotionally intelligent, have polished life skills and healthy relationships as adults? Yes?Then, perhaps, you must start with ways to promote emotional intelligence in your childrenright from when they are toddlers.A persons childhood plays a major role in shaping his/herpersonality. Developing emotional intelligence or EQ in children now will help them build arational thought process and make decisions in future. It can save your child a lot of traumacaused by imprudent actions later. Also, EQ helps the child to understand his/her skills,
  15. 15. abilities and capabilities better. It contributes to the childs rapid psychological developmentin a positive direction. Hardships are a part of life and an emotionally intelligent child isbetter equipped to deal with them. They will be able to understand themselves as well asothers and become sensitive to feelings.We live in a world now where it is not sufficient just to get good grades. Human intelligenceis not limited to the knowledge of books any longer. The world is no more bound bydistances and the virtual world allows us to interact with our counterparts spread acrossvarious geographical locations. It is very crucial to a childs growth and development into anemotionally healthy child by promoting EQ right from their childhood. Such individuals alsoperform well in their careers, become successful and even become valuable employees tocompanies, when employed.Ways to Develop Emotional Intelligence in ChildrenEncourage ReadingYes, I did say that knowledge is not limited to books. But, it all depends on what kind ofbooks you are getting your children to read. Children are mostly inclined towards readingstories. They all help in making your children morally strong by subtly introducing them to avariety of life experiences. They also get to understand different perspectives of people andhow to deal with diverse situations that may face in future. Books highlight negative andpositive attitude and behavior of people with different personalities, while polishing theirlanguage skills.Participation in Extracurricular Activities in SchoolIt helps in real-life interaction of your kids with others of the same age and promotesemotional intelligence amongst them. Extracurricular activities also help your children toexpress themselves and deal with their emotions. It brings about self-awareness as theydiscover new aspects of their own personality. Also, it brings healthy competition andencourages your child to polish their skills. Such children grow up to become extroverted andhave a flare for public interaction.More Play Time with Other Children
  16. 16. At home, after your child comes back from school, encourage him to go out and play withother kids in the neighborhood. Playing in an environment away from school also helps themease up. It is an unregulated environment and behavior is not monitored unless parentsintervene. This is the time when children exhibit their true nature and attitude. They learn tolook out for themselves. A playground is an unstructured social setting where relationshipsare based upon interaction with those around the child.Involve Children at HomeInvolve your children with family activities. It is a common misconception that childrenshould be kept away from issues involving the family and the household in order to protectthem or not put any burden on them. You may be alienating the child unknowingly. Involvethem in decisions like what to buy from the supermarket on a grocery budget, even for the bigpurchases like a car or a new television set, ask their help to make sweets for festivities, takecare of the dog or help in cleaning the kitchen. It brings a sense of responsibility among them.Join Hobby ClassesThis is the best thing you can do to make your child happy by encouraging them to pursueand learn their interests. They will be grateful to you while they learn something differentfrom what they are taught at school. They will become more enthusiastic towards learningand it will be a stimulating experience to try out different things as they grow up, furtherenriching them as individuals.Encourage Children to TalkBy giving your child the freedom to express himself around you and other family members,you will ensure that there are no negative feelings in your childs heart towards any situationthat may occur even outside home. It will keep you aware of the daily developments in yourchilds life.Reward Good BehaviorWhat if your child picks up a negative attitude before he/she start showing any positivecharacteristics? If your child seems introverted and has a lack of enthusiasm for participatingin other activities that promote emotional intelligence in kids, you need to spend more timewith your child to understand the problem. They may be being bullied by other kids, they feeldisconnected to the environment or maybe feeling shy. You need to have the talk with yourchild and help them deal with such issues. Motivate and reward them for showing good
  17. 17. behavior by buying tickets for the local circus show, a trip to the annual fair, a piece ofchocolate for cleaning their room, a new bicycle for good grades or extra time to watch theirfavorite television show.Reprimand Bad BehaviorIf your neighbors or your childs teachers are complaining about your child for exhibitingrude or harmful behavior towards others, it is better to take control of the situation now thanregret later. You must punish them for showing your unhappiness towards such behavior.You can punish them by first having a talk without scolding them to explain that suchbehavior will not be appreciated. Show them the other side of the picture that they fail torealize. If that doesnt work, you may resort to tactics like having nobody in the familytalking to the child until he/she realizes the mistake and promises to be better in future, takeaway the luxuries that they may have enjoyed till now like watching television, going out toplay with other kids or having dessert after dinner. Do not be too harsh that they start toresent you as well.It is important to develop emotional health in children so that you can assure a satisfyingchildhood for them. It will help them protect themselves by acting rationally in difficultsituations when you are not around. They develop abilities to reason out and to thinklogically, which helps them in the later part of life to become successful individuals. Itultimately depends on your parenting to raise emotionally healthy children. EQ helps yourchildren to deal with threatening situations, God forbid but say for example, a stranger mayhave bad intentions towards your children, but your children will pick up the vibeimmediately and get out of the situation before any harm is caused to them. They also learn tohelp others around them, show compassion and respect for other human beings. They willalso co-operate with you and build a healthy parent-child relationship. By Urvashi PokharnaLast Updated: 12/28/2011Ads by GoogleFree Worksheets For Kids Colorful Worksheets-Engage & Learn. Much Cheaper thanPrintable Sheets Eating For Children 100s Of Fun Recipes for Your Kids - Lunches, Drinks,Desserts & More! TotalRecipeSearch.comChild Behavior At Meals Fussy Eating Behavior Of Child - A Concern. Visit For FreeCounselling
  18. 18. God Can Help You Learn From This True Life Story A Prayer That Can Change Your Lifewww.LifesGreatestQuestion.comFree Worksheets For Kids Colored Worksheets - Thick Pages. More Affordable thanPrintable. COD www.Digiclass.inMeditation for children wonderful program of downloadable guided™ Official Site Special Fares @ MakeMyTrip,Starting From Rs. 2400 Only.Book Now & Save The BuzzDont MissRole of Emotional Intelligence in BusinessHow to Improve Emotional IntelligenceAges and Stages of Child DevelopmentA Lil More To ExploreBrain Development in ChildrenCritical Thinking Exercises for ChildrenInspirational Short Stories for ChildrenIn Queue For YouImportance of Play in Early ChildhoodSocial Development in ChildrenBrain Development in Early ChildhoodChance a GlanceHow Children Learn by PlayingChildren and SportsObstacle Course IdeasSelf-esteem Activities for KidsGood Habits for Kids
  19. 19. Stress Relief Games for KidsThe Importance of Boosting Emotional Intelligence and Teaching Empathy to KidsHow to teach kids empathy and emotionl intelligence and why its importantBy Katherine Lee, GuideSee More About:emotional intelligencechild developmentemotional developmentchildbehaviorbullyingEmotional intelligence and empathy are important life skills for children.iStockphotoAdsFree Coloring PagesArtwork by Denise Logan designed to be colored by children of all ages.www.deniseloganart.comCogmed - 50% DiscountCogmed Working Memory Training - Payment Planstephenbozylinski.comBreast Pumps for Busy MomFor Moms on the go who don’t want babies to miss out on healthy startwww.medelabreastfeeding.inSchool-Age Children AdsEQ Emotional IntelligenceEmotional IntelligenceIndoor Activities for KidsEmotional Intelligence EQEmotional Intelligence Skills
  20. 20. AdsLunch For Fussy KidsFussy Eating = Nutrition Deficiency PediaSure Completes Nutrition Needswww.Pediasure.inGod Can Give You New LifeLearn From This True Life Story How God Can Change Your Lifewww.LifesGreatestQuestion.comThere are many reasons why parents should consider teaching empathy and nurturingemotional intelligence in their kids. In basic terms, empathy is the ability to be able to putoneself in someone elses shoes and understand that persons emotions and feelings.Why Emotional Intelligence and Empathy MatterStudies have shown that empathy is an essential life skill. Emotional intelligence oremotional quotient, or E.Q. -- being able to understand ones own feelings and the feelings ofothers as well as being able to control ones own emotions and exercise self control -- isthought to be more important for success in life than I.Q., or intelligence quotient.Empathy can also be an important factor in teaching kids what bullying is and how not toengage in bullying behavior. Teaching empathy is thus an important foundation in preventingbullying in school.How Parents can Encourage Emotional Intelligence and Empathy in Their ChildrenWhile some people mistakenly believe that empathy is something we are born with andtherefore either naturally have or dont have, the fact is that it is a skill that can be taught.Here are some ways parents can try teaching empathy and boost their childs emotionalintelligence.Make sure your childs own emotional needs are met. In order for a child to be able to feeland express empathy for someone else, her own emotional needs must first be met. She must
  21. 21. be able to count on her parents and caregivers to provide emotional support before she canprovide it to someone else.Teach your child how to cope with negative emotions. Its natural for kids and adults toexperience negative emotions such as anger and jealousy. But a child who is taught how tohandle these feelings in a positive, problem-solving way by sympathetic parents is morelikely to have strong emotional intelligence and empathy.Ask, "How would you feel?" Kids are naturally-geared toward empathy. Even a toddler whosees someone in obvious emotional distress is likely to show sympathy, such as trying tocomfort that person. At the same time, young children are inherently self-centered beings.When a preschooler hits a sibling or a friend or takes away a toy they are playing with, forinstance, a parent needs to explain that such behavior can hurt another person physically oremotionally. Try saying something like, "How would you feel if someone took your toyaway?" or "How would you feel if someone hit you?"Name that feeling. To help your child understand emotions and feelings, identify and labelthem as much as possible. If your child behaves kindly toward someone, such as by trying tocomfort a crying baby or friend, say, "That was very nice of you to be so worried about yourfriend; Im sure it made him feel much better when you were so kind to him." If your childbehaves in an unkind or negative way, say, "I know you may feel angry but it made yourfriend sad when you took his toy from him."Talk about positive and negative behaviors around you. We are constantly exposed toexamples of good and bad behavior in real life and in books, TV, and movies. Talk with yourchild about the behavior you see, such as someone making another person sad or acting like abully or, conversely, someone helping others and making people feel better about themselves.Discuss the different types of behavior and their effects.Set a good example. Your child learns about how to interact with people by watching you andother adults in her life. Show her what it means to be a charitable person or how to be kindand loving. By helping family members and neighbors or supporting friends and others whoare in need or having a hard time, you will be teaching your child how to be an empatheticperson.Related Articles
  22. 22. How to Prevent and Stop Bullying in SchoolWarning Signs That Your Child May be the Victim of BullyingDefinition of BullyingMore About BullyingBullying in SchoolsRelated ArticlesGetting Along with Others - Defiant ChildrenEmpaths - Traits of an EmpathParenting Traps - How to Avoid the Sympathy TrapHelping Children Feel All Right About Themselves: Excerpt from "Sensory Int...Empathy - What Is Empathy