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Love First Presenters: Jeff Jay and Debra Jay Intervention
www.lovefirst.net Intervention
Interventionworkshop.com
In the beginning... Two women brought two alcoholics together. Alcoholics Anonymous was born.
“ The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will po...
Normal 3-D Brain  SPECT Images Top-  down surface  view Front-on surface view Side surface  view Underside surface  view P...
Alcohol – 17 years of heavy weekend use Top- down  surface  view Underside  surface view Front-on surface  view Side  surf...
Healthy Brain Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
Twenty-two years of daily drinking. Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
Cocaine   Methamphetamine Twenty-four year old.  Using two years frequently. Twenty-eight year old.  Eight year heavy use....
Marijuana   Opiates Eighteen year old. Using 3 years. Four times week. Forty year old.  Methadone 7 years. Previously, her...
Before & After Recovery Top down surface view during substance abuse. Same view after one year alcohol and drug free. Phot...
The brain  confabulates . It associates diverse sensations, defies contradictions, and creates coherence. It even seeks ex...
Thinking Brain Emotional  Brain Spiritual Brain
We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual con...
Inebriety As a Disease Scientific American Published 1877 “ Science draws a broad distinction between drunkenness as a vic...
Building a Language for Understanding Intervention as communication Intervention the first order of business isn’t talking...
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about. Benjamin Lee Whorf Intervention American Linguist
The Three Most Damaging Myths Thinking about our words Intervention
You can’t help an alcoholic <ul><li>unless he wants help </li></ul>Intervention
If you can’t help an alcoholic until he wants help, what will get him to want help? Intervention A question that changes e...
“ I hadn’t a clue what an intervention was when I became the focus of one a quarter century ago. The first one didn’t take...
Always look for ways to outmaneuver the disease. Spiritual negotiation Intervention
Treatment won’t work <ul><li>if she doesn’t want it </li></ul>Intervention
It’s not how you get into treatment that counts, it’s what happens once you’re there. Intervention
Hazelden Survey Intervention
Statistics Intervention
An Alcoholic Must Hit Bottom <ul><li>taking along even the smallest children </li></ul>Intervention
Talk about crisis as intervention. Intervention Crisis comes with a choice.
Children’s Brains
<ul><li>One in four children live in a home with alcohol abuse or alcoholism. (Children of Alcoholics Foundation) </li></u...
“ The science shows that childhood maltreatment may produce changes in both brain function and structure. These changes ar...
Among neglected children, the  cortex–the thinking part of the  brain–is 20 percent smaller on  average than in a control ...
<ul><li>“ When young children are stressed by too much noise, abuse or violence, they use all of their brain for survival ...
<ul><li>“ Bluntly put, the time that parents need to conquer their substance abuse and addiction can pose a serious threat...
Family is our springboard...
A Personal Story of Intervention <ul><li>you have a disease and it’s not your fault </li></ul>Intervention
Taking Action: Practical Steps Intervention Building blocks to intervention
Plan, plan, plan <ul><li>Intervention team: Family members and friends </li></ul><ul><li>Commitment to work together </li>...
Overview <ul><li>Meeting 1: building and training the team </li></ul><ul><li>Details: treatment, insurance, contingencies ...
Meeting 1 <ul><li>Everyone shares their history and knowledge </li></ul><ul><li>Note special problems, e.g. legal, psychol...
Meeting 2 <ul><li>Full rehearsal </li></ul><ul><li>Read and edit letters </li></ul><ul><li>Read and edit bottom lines </li...
Intervention Day <ul><li>Not confrontational, but a new beginning </li></ul><ul><li>A spirit of love and a solution </li><...
The Power of the Group <ul><li>Keeping the intervention team focused </li></ul><ul><li>Getting resistant family members on...
Building the Team <ul><li>Debriefing the team members: broad questions </li></ul><ul><li>Find the positives: “He likes tea...
Writing Letters <ul><li>tools that go beyond intervention </li></ul>Intervention
7 Point letter format <ul><li>Easy to understand and follow </li></ul><ul><li>Will appear in the next edition of “Love Fir...
1. Identification <ul><li>Name the relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Introduce the power of the relationship </li></ul><ul><l...
2. Love <ul><li>Longest part of the letter </li></ul><ul><li>Detailed reasons why we love and care about this person </li>...
3. Reframing <ul><li>Taken time to learn about the disease </li></ul><ul><li>Not a matter of  willpower or character </li>...
4. Facts <ul><li>Brief, specific and first hand </li></ul><ul><li>No judgmental language </li></ul><ul><li>The facts Ma’am...
5. Commitment <ul><li>Personal commitment to stand by them </li></ul><ul><li>Any help that is appropriate </li></ul><ul><l...
6. Ask <ul><li>A direct and personal request </li></ul><ul><li>Today...now is the moment </li></ul><ul><li>Be specific abo...
7. Affirmation <ul><li>End on a positive note </li></ul><ul><li>Show faith in the addict to follow through </li></ul><ul><...
The Closer <ul><li>Most trusted person </li></ul><ul><li>Senior family member </li></ul><ul><li>Eye to eye </li></ul><ul><...
Brainstorming Objections <ul><li>the escape routes </li></ul>Intervention
Common Objections <ul><li>Work </li></ul><ul><li>Childcare </li></ul><ul><li>Practical considerations: the dog, bills, hom...
Bottom Lines <ul><li>no longer helping the addiction </li></ul>
Addiction can no longer trump the welfare of the family. These are the ways I will take care of myself. Intervention Twelv...
“ Sarah,  We are all committed to you and your health. Each of us would like to share with you the decisions we’ve made. W...
Intervention Day <ul><li>Warm welcome </li></ul><ul><li>No surprises </li></ul><ul><li>Just want to talk </li></ul><ul><li...
Tips <ul><li>Trust the process </li></ul><ul><li>Stay calm: don’t take the bait </li></ul><ul><li>Magician not allowed </l...
 
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Intervention by Jeff and Debra Jay - September 27, 2011

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"Intervention" was presented on Tuesday September 27, 2011, by Jeff and Debra Jay; Intervention specialists, chemical dependency therapists and trainers, and best-selling authors of "Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction" and other books. This program describes how the "Love First" process of Intervention can help chemically dependent people find recovery. Key elements of the "Love First" model for effective intervention with addicted individuals are discussed. This program will bring PRACTICAL INFORMATION, HELP and HOPE to anyone who cares about a chemically dependent person, and to anyone who wants to learn more about the intervention process. This program is part of the FREE, annual Dawn Farm Education Series. The Education Series is organized by Dawn Farm, a non-profit community of programs providing a continuum of chemical dependency services. For information, please contact Matt Statman, LLMSW, CADC, Education Series Coordinator, at 734-485-8725 or info@dawnfarm.org, or see http://www.dawnfarm.org/programs/education-series.

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Intervention by Jeff and Debra Jay - September 27, 2011

  1. 1. Love First Presenters: Jeff Jay and Debra Jay Intervention
  2. 2. www.lovefirst.net Intervention
  3. 3. Interventionworkshop.com
  4. 4. In the beginning... Two women brought two alcoholics together. Alcoholics Anonymous was born.
  5. 5. “ The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable... to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.” Big Book pp 23 Intervention
  6. 6. Normal 3-D Brain SPECT Images Top- down surface view Front-on surface view Side surface view Underside surface view Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
  7. 7. Alcohol – 17 years of heavy weekend use Top- down surface view Underside surface view Front-on surface view Side surface view Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
  8. 8. Healthy Brain Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
  9. 9. Twenty-two years of daily drinking. Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
  10. 10. Cocaine Methamphetamine Twenty-four year old. Using two years frequently. Twenty-eight year old. Eight year heavy use. Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
  11. 11. Marijuana Opiates Eighteen year old. Using 3 years. Four times week. Forty year old. Methadone 7 years. Previously, heroin 10 years. Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
  12. 12. Before & After Recovery Top down surface view during substance abuse. Same view after one year alcohol and drug free. Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen Intervention
  13. 13. The brain confabulates . It associates diverse sensations, defies contradictions, and creates coherence. It even seeks explanations for its own unfathomable behavior. -Dr. Gerald M. Edelman Author, “Wider Than the Sky” Intervention
  14. 14. Thinking Brain Emotional Brain Spiritual Brain
  15. 15. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Bill Wilson Intervention
  16. 16. Inebriety As a Disease Scientific American Published 1877 “ Science draws a broad distinction between drunkenness as a vice and drunkenness as a disease.”
  17. 17. Building a Language for Understanding Intervention as communication Intervention the first order of business isn’t talking to alcoholics. The power is in the hands of the families, friends and co-workers.
  18. 18. Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about. Benjamin Lee Whorf Intervention American Linguist
  19. 19. The Three Most Damaging Myths Thinking about our words Intervention
  20. 20. You can’t help an alcoholic <ul><li>unless he wants help </li></ul>Intervention
  21. 21. If you can’t help an alcoholic until he wants help, what will get him to want help? Intervention A question that changes everything.
  22. 22. “ I hadn’t a clue what an intervention was when I became the focus of one a quarter century ago. The first one didn’t take. I was angry with both my daughter, Susan, and Dr. Joe Cruse, who dared to trespass into my home and suggest I had a problem. I rose up on my high horse and threw them out. I try not to think about it too often, as I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I do. “ But the second intervention had a different ending....Surrounded by the family who loved me...this intervention saved my life.” -Betty Ford Healing and Hope
  23. 23. Always look for ways to outmaneuver the disease. Spiritual negotiation Intervention
  24. 24. Treatment won’t work <ul><li>if she doesn’t want it </li></ul>Intervention
  25. 25. It’s not how you get into treatment that counts, it’s what happens once you’re there. Intervention
  26. 26. Hazelden Survey Intervention
  27. 27. Statistics Intervention
  28. 28. An Alcoholic Must Hit Bottom <ul><li>taking along even the smallest children </li></ul>Intervention
  29. 29. Talk about crisis as intervention. Intervention Crisis comes with a choice.
  30. 30. Children’s Brains
  31. 31. <ul><li>One in four children live in a home with alcohol abuse or alcoholism. (Children of Alcoholics Foundation) </li></ul><ul><li>76 million Americans have been exposed to alcoholism in their family (SAMHSA) </li></ul><ul><li>Most children of alcoholics have experienced some form of abuse or neglect (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry). </li></ul>
  32. 32. “ The science shows that childhood maltreatment may produce changes in both brain function and structure. These changes are permanent. This is not something people can just get over.” -Dr. Martin H. Teicher McClean Hospital
  33. 33. Among neglected children, the cortex–the thinking part of the brain–is 20 percent smaller on average than in a control group. -Children’s Hospital & Baylor College of Medicine
  34. 34. <ul><li>“ When young children are stressed by too much noise, abuse or violence, they use all of their brain for survival instead of for learning. </li></ul><ul><li>“ Later in school, they can lose the ability to engage in logical thought and creative problem solving.” </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>-Partnership for Learning </li></ul></ul></ul></ul></ul>
  35. 35. <ul><li>“ Bluntly put, the time that parents need to conquer their substance abuse and addiction can pose a serious threat to their children who may suffer permanent damage during this phase of rapid development. Little children cannot wait; they need safe and stable homes and nurturing adults now in order to set the stage for a healthy productive life.” </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Joseph Califano, Jr. </li></ul></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia Univ. </li></ul></ul></ul></ul></ul>
  36. 36. Family is our springboard...
  37. 37. A Personal Story of Intervention <ul><li>you have a disease and it’s not your fault </li></ul>Intervention
  38. 38. Taking Action: Practical Steps Intervention Building blocks to intervention
  39. 39. Plan, plan, plan <ul><li>Intervention team: Family members and friends </li></ul><ul><li>Commitment to work together </li></ul><ul><li>Chairperson, detail person </li></ul><ul><li>Homework: read Love First thoroughly </li></ul>
  40. 40. Overview <ul><li>Meeting 1: building and training the team </li></ul><ul><li>Details: treatment, insurance, contingencies </li></ul><ul><li>Meeting 2: rehearsal and preparation </li></ul><ul><li>Intervention day </li></ul><ul><li>Escort to treatment </li></ul><ul><li>Al-Anon and family program </li></ul>
  41. 41. Meeting 1 <ul><li>Everyone shares their history and knowledge </li></ul><ul><li>Note special problems, e.g. legal, psychological </li></ul><ul><li>Are there children involved? </li></ul><ul><li>7 point letter writing process </li></ul><ul><li>Brianstorming objections -- and answers </li></ul><ul><li>Bottom lines </li></ul>
  42. 42. Meeting 2 <ul><li>Full rehearsal </li></ul><ul><li>Read and edit letters </li></ul><ul><li>Read and edit bottom lines </li></ul><ul><li>Run through possible scenarios </li></ul><ul><li>Set seating arrangements </li></ul>
  43. 43. Intervention Day <ul><li>Not confrontational, but a new beginning </li></ul><ul><li>A spirit of love and a solution </li></ul><ul><li>Reading the intervention letters </li></ul><ul><li>Answering questions and objections </li></ul><ul><li>Getting to YES </li></ul><ul><li>Escort to treatment </li></ul>
  44. 44. The Power of the Group <ul><li>Keeping the intervention team focused </li></ul><ul><li>Getting resistant family members on board </li></ul><ul><li>Sounding out the drinking buddies </li></ul><ul><li>Workplace associates and superiors </li></ul><ul><li>Special influence: aunt, coach, Grandpa </li></ul><ul><li>Spiritual wrestling match </li></ul>
  45. 45. Building the Team <ul><li>Debriefing the team members: broad questions </li></ul><ul><li>Find the positives: “He likes teaching people how to...” </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t criticize, teach. “Money is the fuel of addiction.” </li></ul><ul><li>Who has leverage? How can it be used most subtly?” </li></ul><ul><li>Who has influence? “I just want my son back.” </li></ul>
  46. 46. Writing Letters <ul><li>tools that go beyond intervention </li></ul>Intervention
  47. 47. 7 Point letter format <ul><li>Easy to understand and follow </li></ul><ul><li>Will appear in the next edition of “Love First” </li></ul><ul><li>Makes every team member a great writer </li></ul>
  48. 48. 1. Identification <ul><li>Name the relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Introduce the power of the relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Remove objections before they arise </li></ul>
  49. 49. 2. Love <ul><li>Longest part of the letter </li></ul><ul><li>Detailed reasons why we love and care about this person </li></ul><ul><li>Memorable times and experiences </li></ul><ul><li>Pride and gratitude </li></ul><ul><li>Like a eulogy...with an inside joke </li></ul>
  50. 50. 3. Reframing <ul><li>Taken time to learn about the disease </li></ul><ul><li>Not a matter of willpower or character </li></ul><ul><li>Requires professional treatment </li></ul>
  51. 51. 4. Facts <ul><li>Brief, specific and first hand </li></ul><ul><li>No judgmental language </li></ul><ul><li>The facts Ma’am, just the facts </li></ul><ul><li>Poignant </li></ul>
  52. 52. 5. Commitment <ul><li>Personal commitment to stand by them </li></ul><ul><li>Any help that is appropriate </li></ul><ul><li>Remembering the past </li></ul>
  53. 53. 6. Ask <ul><li>A direct and personal request </li></ul><ul><li>Today...now is the moment </li></ul><ul><li>Be specific about treatment </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t leave room for delay </li></ul>
  54. 54. 7. Affirmation <ul><li>End on a positive note </li></ul><ul><li>Show faith in the addict to follow through </li></ul><ul><li>A purpose for living </li></ul><ul><li>Inclusive -- we’re a family. </li></ul>
  55. 55. The Closer <ul><li>Most trusted person </li></ul><ul><li>Senior family member </li></ul><ul><li>Eye to eye </li></ul><ul><li>Many will just say “Yes” </li></ul><ul><li>...or, on to the objections... </li></ul>
  56. 56. Brainstorming Objections <ul><li>the escape routes </li></ul>Intervention
  57. 57. Common Objections <ul><li>Work </li></ul><ul><li>Childcare </li></ul><ul><li>Practical considerations: the dog, bills, home care </li></ul><ul><li>Big events: graduation, wedding, vacation </li></ul><ul><li>Disease objections </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I can do it on my own.” </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I don’t have a problem. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ I’ll see a psychiatrist.” </li></ul></ul></ul>
  58. 58. Bottom Lines <ul><li>no longer helping the addiction </li></ul>
  59. 59. Addiction can no longer trump the welfare of the family. These are the ways I will take care of myself. Intervention Twelve steps for families.
  60. 60. “ Sarah, We are all committed to you and your health. Each of us would like to share with you the decisions we’ve made. We will not do anything to help you stay sick, but we will do all we can to help you get well. The addiction hurts us, too, so until you get into recovery we must take care of ourselves, and we want to tell you how we plan to do this....” Intervention We love you too much.
  61. 61. Intervention Day <ul><li>Warm welcome </li></ul><ul><li>No surprises </li></ul><ul><li>Just want to talk </li></ul><ul><li>It’s a free country </li></ul><ul><li>Get to the script </li></ul>
  62. 62. Tips <ul><li>Trust the process </li></ul><ul><li>Stay calm: don’t take the bait </li></ul><ul><li>Magician not allowed </li></ul><ul><li>2 reasons for NO </li></ul><ul><li>Reach for the heart </li></ul><ul><li>Spiritual exercise </li></ul>

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