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@jschauma	
  
Primum	
  non	
  nocere	
  –	
  
Ethical	
  Obliga1ons	
  in	
  Internet	
  Opera1ons	
  
No	
  memes.	
  
You’re	
  a	
  meme,	
  ma’am.	
  
No	
  bio.	
  
@jschauma	
  
No	
  “one	
  more	
  thing”.	
  
ENOTURTLENECK	
  
We	
  are	
  stewards	
  of	
  our	
  users'	
  data.	
  
	
  
We	
  are	
  obligated	
  to	
  act	
  
in	
  the	
  public	
  interest.	
  
This	
  talk	
  in	
  one	
  slide.	
  
Everybody	
  lies.	
  
This	
  slide	
  is	
  a	
  lie.	
  
Primum	
  non	
  nocere.	
  
Why	
  not	
  Zoidberg?	
  
Meanwhile,	
  on	
  the	
  internet…	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny03	
  
Required	
  Skills	
  &	
  Experience:	
  
	
  
•  3+	
  years	
  of	
  poking	
  humans	
  with	
  sharp	
  objects	
  
•  must	
  have	
  previously	
  diagnosed	
  a	
  fever	
  
•  MD	
  preferred,	
  or	
  equivalent	
  work	
  experience	
  
•  experience	
  performing	
  brain	
  surgery	
  a	
  plus	
  
Wanted:	
  Human	
  Anatomy	
  Engineer	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny04	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny04	
  
undefined	
  is	
  not	
  a	
  func1on	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny05	
  
hQp://root-­‐servers.org/	
  
hQp://www.nyiix.net/mrtg/sum.html	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny06	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny07	
  
clown	
  compu1ng	
  
Cloud	
  is	
  when	
  somebody	
  else	
  reboots	
  your	
  machines.	
  
hQp://map.norsecorp.com/	
  
@internetofshit	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocity09	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny10	
  
"The	
  Precision	
  Guided	
  Firearm	
  also	
  offers	
  applica1ons	
  
for	
  smart	
  devices.	
  These	
  apps	
  interact	
  with	
  embedded	
  
wifi	
  servers	
  to	
  share	
  real-­‐1me	
  or	
  recorded	
  images."	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny11	
  
First,	
  make	
  the	
  world	
  a	
  beQer	
  place.	
  
First,	
  disrupt	
  urban	
  dogfood	
  delivery.	
  
First,	
  increase	
  shareholder	
  value.	
  
Stockholder	
  Syndrome,	
  n:	
  
	
  	
  	
  	
  an	
  irra1onal	
  defense	
  of	
  harmful	
  
	
  	
  	
  	
  priori1es	
  imposed	
  on	
  a	
  well-­‐	
  
	
  	
  	
  	
  meaning	
  company	
  by	
  a	
  
	
  	
  	
  	
  ques1onable	
  industry.	
  
Now	
  that’s	
  a	
  stock	
  quote.	
  
“This	
  is	
  a	
  daily	
  thing.”	
  
Legal	
  Advice	
  
Growth	
  hacking	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny13	
  
As	
  soiware	
  eats	
  the	
  world,	
  
data	
  pays	
  the	
  bills.	
  
We’re	
  not	
  hungry	
  now.	
  Why	
  are	
  we	
  buying	
  all	
  this	
  food?	
  
Photo	
  Credit:	
  redjar	
  -­‐	
  hQps://flic.kr/p/b5cFG	
  
Data	
  is	
  a	
  liability	
  pig	
  manure.	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny15	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny21	
  
More	
  pig	
  manure.	
  
undefined	
  is	
  not	
  a	
  func1on	
  
n+++n;	
  
ACM	
  Code	
  of	
  Ethics	
  
	
  
1.1	
  Contribute	
  to	
  society	
  and	
  human	
  well-­‐being.	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny16	
  
(ISC)2	
  Code	
  of	
  Ethics	
  
	
  
Protect	
  society,	
  the	
  common	
  good,	
  
necessary	
  public	
  trust	
  and	
  confidence,	
  and	
  
the	
  infrastructure.	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny17	
  
IEEE	
  Code	
  of	
  Ethics	
  
	
  
to	
  accept	
  responsibility	
  in	
  making	
  decisions	
  
consistent	
  with	
  the	
  safety,	
  health,	
  
and	
  welfare	
  of	
  the	
  public	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny18	
  
ACS	
  Code	
  of	
  Ethics	
  
	
  
The	
  Primacy	
  of	
  the	
  Public	
  Interest	
  
You	
  will	
  place	
  the	
  interests	
  of	
  the	
  public	
  
above	
  those	
  of	
  personal,	
  business	
  or	
  
sec1onal	
  interests.	
  
hQps://v.gd/velocityny19	
  
The	
  Primacy	
  of	
  the	
  Public	
  Interest.	
  
Things	
  will	
  be	
  what	
  they	
  are.	
  
Thanks!	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  @jschauma	
  
We	
  are	
  stewards	
  of	
  our	
  users'	
  data.	
  
We	
  are	
  obligated	
  to	
  act	
  
in	
  the	
  public	
  interest.	
  
Be	
  Tron.	
  Fight	
  for	
  the	
  users.	
  
Oh,	
  and	
  one	
  more	
  thing:	
  
it’s	
  never	
  lupus.	
  
Might	
  be	
  sarcoidosis,	
  though.	
  
Thanks!	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  	
  @jschauma	
  
We	
  are	
  stewards	
  of	
  our	
  users'	
  data.	
  
We	
  are	
  obligated	
  to	
  act	
  
in	
  the	
  public	
  interest.	
  
Be	
  Tron.	
  Fight	
  for	
  the	
  users.	
  

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