+ Revision Strategies Testing for cohesiveness: Get out your essay and a pen!
+ Check your essay for order Find the summary (paragraph one) Underline the most significant sentence Find your analysis (paragraph two) Underline a sentence in which you used a good example, followed by analysis. Find your transition (paragraph three) Underline your thesis (last sentence of paragraph three). Make sure it has both a topic and a controlling idea: I want a ---------- because 1________ , 2___________, and 3______________
+ Body Paragraphs Find body paragraph 1 Underline your topic sentence. It should connect to #1 in your thesis statement! Find body paragraph 2 Underline your topic sentence. It should connect to #2 in your thesis statement! Find body paragraph 3 Underline your topic sentence. It should connect to #3 in your thesis statement!
+ Conclusion Find your conclusion: This should connect your wants and Brady’s wants to some universal theme! Underlinethe most significant sentence in your conclusion
+ Does it work together? Now write all of the underlined sentences in a single paragraph. Read your paragraph to yourself Next, read your paragraph aloud to someone sitting near you. See if it makes sense! If it does not flow smoothly, you need to revise significant sentences in your essay. Mark them so you can change them later.
+ Now return to your summary paragraph: Have you included the Have you included title of the essay? overarching themes rather than specific Doyou have several details? sentences of summary? and the Do you have a author’s name? transition to your analysis paragraph?
+ Now, go to your analysis paragraph. Make sure you have at least two examples and two explanations for why you used those examples. Underline them just to make sure. Read them to your neighbor.
+ Check your transition paragraph. Doesit move you Read it to your from the intro about partner. Ask for Brady’s essay to your suggestions! own essay? Can you make it smoother?
+Read your thesis aloud. Does it make sense?Have your partner explain to you what youwant and why you want it?What I really want is a ____________________ because_______________, ____________________, _____________________.
+ Your Body Paragraphs! Your topic sentence should be clear Your topic sentence should be and connect to your thesis. clear and connect to your thesis. Now, check your support: do you have Now, check your support: do you have a definition? Reasons? a definition? Reasons? Explanation? Explanation? Facts? Statistics? Facts? Statistics? Quotations? Quotations? Comparisons? Comparisons? Analysis? Mark them in Analysis? Mark them in your your paragraph. paragraph. Your topic sentence should be clear and connect to your thesis. Now, check your support: do you have a definition? Reasons? Explanation? Facts? Statistics? Quotations? Comparisons? Analysis? Mark them in your paragraph.
+ The Conclusion The Title Bring your essay back to Brady’s Go back and read your essay. Find by comparing wants and desires of a really great line that captures the people. Say something clever to essence of your paper topic. Steal wrap it up it for your title!
+ Margins and Formatting Header: Last Name 1 1” all around Double Click in Header Area Go to “Layout” and adjust Type your last name margins or use custom settings Justify right Times New Roman 12 Go to “insert” and click on Indent body paragraphs ½ inch “page number” from the margin
+ Heading: Double Spaced Title Your Name Original Title (not the title of Dr. Kim Palmore the essay we read) EWRT 211 No italics, bold, underline, or quotation marks 20 January 2012 Centered on the page No extra spaces (just double spaced after your heading and before the body of your text)
+ Content 1. Put the name of Brady’s (not Judy’s) essay (not story or article) in quotation marks. 2. Put quotation marks around quoted material. 3. Make sure you integrate quoted material with the text. For example, “Brady claims that “………..” Do not use quoted material as an isolated sentence.
Common Writing Errors + 1. Wordiness 2. Misused Words
Wordiness: using more words than necessary toexpress thought. Many people write wordy papersbecause they are trying to make their ideas soundimportant by using long words and intricatesentences. They think that their writing must becomplicated to seem professional. Although thesewriters are trying to impress their readers, they oftenend up confusing them. The best writing isclear, concise, and easy to understand. Your ideas aremuch more impressive when your reader does nothave to fight to understand you.
+ Often writers use several words for ideas that can be expressed in one. This leads to unnecessarily complex sentences and genuine redundancy as the following examples show: Redundant Not Redundant The printer is located adjacent to The printer is adjacent to the the computer computer The printer is located in the The printer is near the computer immediate vicinity of the computer The user can visibly see the image moving The user can see the image moving He wore a shirt that was blue in He wore a blue shirt. color The input is processed The input is suitably processed
+ Now you try it. Write this sentence in as few words as possible without changing the meaning! The available receptacle, in any case, was of insufficient size to contain the total quantity of unnecessary waste.
+ How to reduce wordiness! 1. Reduce Long Clauses 2. Reduce Phrases When editing, try to reduce long Likewise, try to reduce phrases to clauses to shorter phrases: single words: Wordy: The clown who was in the Wordy: The clown at the end of center ring was riding a tricycle. the line tried to sweep up the spotlight. Revised: The clown in the center ring was riding a tricycle. Revised: The last clown tried to sweep up the spotlight.
+ Eliminating Wordiness Strategies 3. Avoid Empty Openers 4. Don’t Overwork Modifiers Avoid There is, There are, and There Do not overwork were as sentence openers when There very, really, totally, and other adds nothing to the meaning of a modifiers that add little or nothing to sentence: the meaning of a sentence. Wordy: There is a prize in every box of Quacko cereal. Wordy: By the time she got home, Merdine was very tired. Revised: A prize is in every box of Quacko cereal. Revised: By the time she got home, Merdine was exhausted Wordy: There are two security guards at the gate. Wordy: She was also really hungry. Revised: Two security guards stand Revised: She was also hungry [or at the gate. famished].
+ Eliminating Wordiness 5. Avoid Redundancies Replace redundant expressions (phrases that use more words than necessary to make a point) with precise words. Remember: needless words are those that add nothing (or nothing significant) to the meaning of our writing. They bore the reader and distract from our ideas. So cut them out! Wordy: At this point in time, we should edit our work. Revised: Now we should edit our work.
+ Try these! 1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family. 2. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the bus company within the next few days. 3. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in meeting foreign students may come to know one. 4. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose. 5. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been established for the safety of all.
+ Possible Answers 1. He dropped out of school to support his family. 2. The bus company will probably announce its schedule during the next few days. 3. Any student who wants to meet foreign students can do so in many ways. 4. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a deliberate lie. 5. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.
+ Misused word: Wrong-word errors can involve using a word with the wrong shade of meaning, a word with a completely wrong meaning, or a wrong preposition or word in an idiom. Selecting a word from a thesaurus without being certain of its meaning or allowing a spell checker to correct your spelling automatically can lead to wrong-word errors, so use these tools with care. If you have trouble with prepositions and idioms, memorize the standard usage.
+ Homonyms Affect, Effect: Accept, Except: Affect is usually a verb meaning to Accept is a verb meaning to influence. Effect is usually a noun receive. Except is usually a meaning result. The drug did not preposition meaning excluding. I affect the disease, and it had will accept all the packages except several adverse side effects. Effect that one. Except is also a verb can also be a verb meaning to meaning to exclude. Please except bring about. Only the president can that item from the list. effect such a dramatic change.
+ Homonyms Than, Then: To, Too, Two: Than is a conjunction used in To is a preposition; too is an adverb; two is a number. Too many of your shots slice comparisons; then is an adverb to the left, but the last two were right on denoting time. That pizza is more the mark. than I can eat. Tom laughed, and Hints: then we recognized him. If you are trying to spell out the number, it is always t-w-o. Two has a w which is Hints: the first letter in word. The opposite of word is number. Than is used to compare; both Too is usually used as also when adding words have the letter a in them. or including some additional information. Whenever you want to include something Then tells when; both are spelled else, think of it as adding; therefore you also need to add an extra o. the same, except for the first letter.
+ Your, Youre: There, Their, Theyre: Your is a possessive pronoun; There is an adverb specifying place; it is also an expletive. Adverb: Sylvia is lying youre is a contraction of you are. there unconscious. Expletive: There are Youre going to catch a cold if you two plums left. Their is a possessive dont wear your coat. pronoun. Theyre is a contraction of they are. Fred and Jane finally washed their car. Theyre later than usual today. Sound out you are in the sentence. If it works in the sentence it can be If you are using there to tell the reader written as youre. If it sounds where, both words have h-e-r-e. Here is also a place. awkward, it is probably supposed to be Your. If you are using their as a possessive pronoun, you are telling the reader EXAMPLE: Youre shoes are what "they own. Their has h-e-i-r, which also means heir, as in someone who muddy. "You are shoes are muddy" inherits something. Both words have to do does not work, so it should be with ownership. written as: Your shoes are muddy. Theyre is a contraction of they are. Sound out they are in the sentence and see if it works. If it does not, it must be one of the previous versions.
+ Words that dont sound alike but confuse us anyway: Lie, lay Set, Sit: Lie is an intransitive verb meaning Set is a transitive verb meaning to to recline or rest on a surface. Its put or to place. Its principal parts principal parts are lie, lay, lain. are set, set, set. Sit is an Lay is a transitive verb meaning to intransitive verb meaning to be put or place. Its principal parts are seated. Its principal parts are lay, laid. sit, sat, sat. She set the dough in a warm corner of the kitchen. The Hint: Chickens lay eggs. I lie down cat sat in the warmest part of the when I am tired. room.
+ Problem phrases: Supposed to: Do not omit the d. Suppose to is incorrect. Used to: Same as above. Do not write use to. Toward: There is no s at the end of the word. Anyway: Also has no ending s. Anyways is nonstandard. Couldnt care less: Be sure to make it negative. (Not I could care less.) For all intents and purposes: Not intensive purposes.
+ HOMEWORK FOR THURSDAY: Writing: Finish essay 1. Remember to check for cohesiveness, wordiness, and misused words. Post your final draft on the website Reading: How to Write a Cover Letter