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Courage, Curiosity, and
Connection:
Practical Tools for Creating Space and
Keeping Your Head While Navigating a
Changing World
Introduction
Distress (Getting Stuck)
• Something is going to happen
• That Happening is going to be awful
• That Something is Going to Be My Fault
• (Repeat)
Tools of the Trade
• Uniqueness of the Practice
• Seek and Present Information
• Work on Your Own
• Avoid Risk and Find Certainty
• Think Criticially (With Skepticism, Pessimism)
• Compete
• Follow the Rules/Conform
How Do You Use the Tools?
• Seek Compensation, Clients, Advancement
• Get Affirmation (from Clients, Decision-makers,
Higher-Ups)
• Avoid Blame in a Zero-Sum Game
• Extrinsic and Linear
The Tools When Things Don’t Go
As “Planned”?
• When The Rules Change (Or There Are No
Rules)?
• In Your Personal Relationships?
And The New Tools?
Responses to Distress (Or the
Perception of Distress)
• The need to try and control it
• Suffering=Pain x Resistance
• Getting Stuck (Chemically and Otherwise)
• The Open Loop
What is Missing When Distress Sticks?
• The Capability to Manage Emotion
• Space to Consider How to Respond And Adapt
Rather Than React
• Context/Awareness
• Cooperation/Collaboration/Communication
(Listening)
• The Willingness to Change
Another Tool
• Actively notice new things -->puts you in
the present -->makes you aware of context
• Awareness creates space (and vice versa)
• Widen Your Lens
• Adjust Your Tuning
One Definition- Ellen Langer
• Mindlessness- the application of yesterday's
business solutions to today's problems
• Mindfulness- attunement to today's
demands to avoid tomorrow's problems
• If you want to change it, you have to see it
for what it really is.
“Present-state awareness that helps
you be non-reactive.”- Tim Ferriss
Create Some Space in Your Head
• Put some distance between stimulus and
reaction- and respond instead
• Use the breath and the body as an anchor
• Reduce the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response
• Work on being a student of your own mind
Creativity= Curiosity>Fear
Be Aware of Your Blind Spots
Be Aware of Your Blind Spots
Cultivate Intrinsic Rewards
• Get quiet
• Get outside
• Get on a different schedule
• Get out and play
Build Curiosity (Incrementally)
Create Space in Your Day
(Build Energy)
• Exercise
• Leisure Time – Flow
• Allow for Rest and Recovery
Get Some Space from Your
Computer Technology
• Attention is
–Fuel,
–Fallible, and
–Finite
• You need sustained focus and
awareness
What Fuels/Preserves
Attention?
• Habits/Routines
• Fewer Decisions
• Fewer Distractions
Make Space for the Good Stuff
• Document a Process Well One Time,
Never Have to Document it Again
• Documenting a Process- Fewer ?s
Benefits of Checklists
(Documented Processes)
• Delegates
• Reduces Mistakes
• Promotes and Standardizes Best Practices
• Stays with the Organization
• Encourages Revision and Improvement
• Capable of Application in Other Areas
• Rewards Input and Collaboration
Create Space with Computer Tools
• Evernote
• Headspace
• Moment
• Podcasts
Create Space By Giving Time
• Be Generous of Your Time and Your Knowledge- Without
Expecting Anything in Return
• If You Are Taking Care of Yourself, You Will Take Care
of Others
• Build Empathy
Questions?
Jack Pringle
Adams and Reese LLP
(803) 343-1270
jack.pringle@arlaw.com
@jjpringlesc
http://pringlepracticeblog.blogspot.com
1501 Main Street, 5th Floor
Columbia, SC 29201
www.adamsandreese.com
Resources
• Jeena Cho, The Anxious Lawyer, https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Lawyer-
Satisfying-Mindfulness-Meditation/dp/1627226249
• Baba Shiv, How Do You Find Breakthrough Ideas?, Stanford Graduate School
of Business, http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/baba-shiv-how-do-you-find-
breakthrough-ideas
• The Resilient Lawyer http://theanxiouslawyer.com/rl-23-jack-pringle/
• Farnham Street https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/
• One You Feed With Michael Taft http://www.oneyoufeed.net/michael-taft/
• Tim Ferris with Brene Brown
http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/08/28/brene-brown-on-vulnerability-and-
home-run-ted-talks/
• On Being With Ellen Langer http://www.onbeing.org/program/ellen-langer-
science-of-mindlessness-and-mindfulness/6332
• You Are Not So Smart http://youarenotsosmart.libsyn.com/062-naive-realism-
lee-ross-0
More Resources
The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, by Atul Gawande
http://www.amazon.com/Checklist-Manifesto-How-Things-Right/dp/0312430000
Smarter Than You Think: How Technology is Changing Our Minds for the Better,
by Clive Thompson
http://www.amazon.com/Smarter-Than-You-Think-Technology/dp/1594204454
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D
http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol-
Dweck/dp/0345472322
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, by Adam Grant
http://www.amazon.com/Give-Take-Helping-Others-Success/dp/0143124986

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Courage, Curiosity, and Connection: Practical Tools for Keeping Your Head While Navigating a Changing World

  • 1. Courage, Curiosity, and Connection: Practical Tools for Creating Space and Keeping Your Head While Navigating a Changing World
  • 3. Distress (Getting Stuck) • Something is going to happen • That Happening is going to be awful • That Something is Going to Be My Fault • (Repeat)
  • 4. Tools of the Trade • Uniqueness of the Practice • Seek and Present Information • Work on Your Own • Avoid Risk and Find Certainty • Think Criticially (With Skepticism, Pessimism) • Compete • Follow the Rules/Conform
  • 5. How Do You Use the Tools? • Seek Compensation, Clients, Advancement • Get Affirmation (from Clients, Decision-makers, Higher-Ups) • Avoid Blame in a Zero-Sum Game • Extrinsic and Linear
  • 6. The Tools When Things Don’t Go As “Planned”? • When The Rules Change (Or There Are No Rules)? • In Your Personal Relationships?
  • 7. And The New Tools?
  • 8. Responses to Distress (Or the Perception of Distress) • The need to try and control it • Suffering=Pain x Resistance • Getting Stuck (Chemically and Otherwise) • The Open Loop
  • 9. What is Missing When Distress Sticks? • The Capability to Manage Emotion • Space to Consider How to Respond And Adapt Rather Than React • Context/Awareness • Cooperation/Collaboration/Communication (Listening) • The Willingness to Change
  • 10.
  • 11. Another Tool • Actively notice new things -->puts you in the present -->makes you aware of context • Awareness creates space (and vice versa) • Widen Your Lens • Adjust Your Tuning
  • 12. One Definition- Ellen Langer • Mindlessness- the application of yesterday's business solutions to today's problems • Mindfulness- attunement to today's demands to avoid tomorrow's problems • If you want to change it, you have to see it for what it really is.
  • 13. “Present-state awareness that helps you be non-reactive.”- Tim Ferriss
  • 14. Create Some Space in Your Head • Put some distance between stimulus and reaction- and respond instead • Use the breath and the body as an anchor • Reduce the Fight/Flight/Freeze Response • Work on being a student of your own mind
  • 16. Be Aware of Your Blind Spots
  • 17. Be Aware of Your Blind Spots
  • 18. Cultivate Intrinsic Rewards • Get quiet • Get outside • Get on a different schedule • Get out and play
  • 20. Create Space in Your Day (Build Energy) • Exercise • Leisure Time – Flow • Allow for Rest and Recovery
  • 21. Get Some Space from Your Computer Technology • Attention is –Fuel, –Fallible, and –Finite • You need sustained focus and awareness
  • 22. What Fuels/Preserves Attention? • Habits/Routines • Fewer Decisions • Fewer Distractions
  • 23.
  • 24.
  • 25. Make Space for the Good Stuff • Document a Process Well One Time, Never Have to Document it Again • Documenting a Process- Fewer ?s
  • 26.
  • 27. Benefits of Checklists (Documented Processes) • Delegates • Reduces Mistakes • Promotes and Standardizes Best Practices • Stays with the Organization • Encourages Revision and Improvement • Capable of Application in Other Areas • Rewards Input and Collaboration
  • 28. Create Space with Computer Tools • Evernote • Headspace • Moment • Podcasts
  • 29. Create Space By Giving Time • Be Generous of Your Time and Your Knowledge- Without Expecting Anything in Return • If You Are Taking Care of Yourself, You Will Take Care of Others • Build Empathy
  • 30.
  • 31. Questions? Jack Pringle Adams and Reese LLP (803) 343-1270 jack.pringle@arlaw.com @jjpringlesc http://pringlepracticeblog.blogspot.com 1501 Main Street, 5th Floor Columbia, SC 29201 www.adamsandreese.com
  • 32. Resources • Jeena Cho, The Anxious Lawyer, https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Lawyer- Satisfying-Mindfulness-Meditation/dp/1627226249 • Baba Shiv, How Do You Find Breakthrough Ideas?, Stanford Graduate School of Business, http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/baba-shiv-how-do-you-find- breakthrough-ideas • The Resilient Lawyer http://theanxiouslawyer.com/rl-23-jack-pringle/ • Farnham Street https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/ • One You Feed With Michael Taft http://www.oneyoufeed.net/michael-taft/ • Tim Ferris with Brene Brown http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/08/28/brene-brown-on-vulnerability-and- home-run-ted-talks/ • On Being With Ellen Langer http://www.onbeing.org/program/ellen-langer- science-of-mindlessness-and-mindfulness/6332 • You Are Not So Smart http://youarenotsosmart.libsyn.com/062-naive-realism- lee-ross-0
  • 33. More Resources The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, by Atul Gawande http://www.amazon.com/Checklist-Manifesto-How-Things-Right/dp/0312430000 Smarter Than You Think: How Technology is Changing Our Minds for the Better, by Clive Thompson http://www.amazon.com/Smarter-Than-You-Think-Technology/dp/1594204454 Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol- Dweck/dp/0345472322 Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, by Adam Grant http://www.amazon.com/Give-Take-Helping-Others-Success/dp/0143124986

Editor's Notes

  1. I didn’t come down here to change your mind about anything, but to ease my own mind about everything.
  2. Letter from ODC, Motion for Attorney’s Fees, Frivolous Claim, Partner in your Office Stress not equal to Distress, Shame not equal to Guilt Distress is Not Wanting What We Presume is Going to Happen
  3. Law School is Different. "What do you call everyone in your office who is not you? A Non-lawyer. The Law is a Jealous Mistress. What does the law say. Bound by Precedent. BlueBook and Manual on Style
  4. “A bundle of tense muscles defending our existence.”- Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche Extrinsic and Linear.
  5. Kids and the Now Ever Thought Your Way out of a Painful Emotional situation?
  6. Cognitive Load An Information God and a Dopamine Dispenser Saps your attention, and momentarily assuages all that discomfort. And often you don't even notice. Technology is neither good nor bad, but it is not neutral.
  7. (worry, anxiety, discomfort) Problem is the Bear isn’t always chasing you. Are you running because you are scared, or scared because you are running. William James. Thoughts and Sawyer- altruism project. Resist, React, Kill the Pain Work and effort. Struggle and fear. relaxing
  8. What to Think (We all got holes to fill, and them holes are all that’s real . . .) (Turn Off The Brain) A Reminder from Time to Time that Things Are Relatively Easy (Why Do You Need Space?- Creativity-Risk-Vulnerability)
  9. We are “problem solvers”, but often unaware of the problem (especially when the problem is us) Unaware of any clue how to solve it; But absolutely certain that we do know or unwilling to admit otherwise. Most of us live mindlessly all of the time- Using the Tools We Have means we don't see the whole picture and miss what is right in front of us Not there and not there to know we are not there You are Not So Smart (False Consensus) – Lee Ross- believing that from situation to the next, people are more likely to do things or see the world the way we do. Ambiguity, doubt. we don't perceive everything that is important. Our brains and emotions don’t always make sense of the world Naïve realism
  10. (Not Presence but instead "noticing"- you can't make a decision to be "present") (what do you mean "without judging") Managing the fog of emotion Being aware of your patterns Getting space Without judging letting go of the illusion that we are in control Beginner's mind and the ability to listen or evaluate without preconceived notions One cannot learn what they already know. -Epicetus. If you're offended easily, you're a bad resource allocator. It's a waste of energized gy & attention; a greater sin than wasting time- @tferriss Train yourself to value most the things that can't be taken away.  Observation and perception Observe people having sex Parker J. Palmer- eustress.  Creativity=Curiousity > Fear (choosing Curiousity over fear).  Something only special people do.  Rigidity in intention, but flexibility in implementation. One You Feed, July 20th
  11. Get comfortable with discomfort, insecurity, doubt, and build the courage to change From Ellen Langer and the HBR (Sidebar on Courage) (get out of your comfort zone)
  12. Fear is the misuse of a very powerful tool: imagination. 
  13. Less evaluative of other people; feel unique but recognize that everyone is also unique; ability to take risks. Situational rather than personality-based. Gets you off your back foot and in a posture of being ready to actively solve problems and create possibilities David Allen and the open loop.
  14. (early assessment, measure and manage, after-action) Can you accept some criticism, share some credit, and allow for some mistakes? Courage to Change) take risks, be seen, tell your own story. (Best Measure of Courage is Vulnerability)- (You might as well show yourself, because people are going to form opinions of you anyway). Hard not to be humble when you see the way your brain works. Curiousity, humility, awe. Aren't Those People Who Never Take Off Their Masks The Most Unbearable? Are You Trying to Get Better from a Good Place, or Trying to Fill a Hole? I am really good, but I can be better v. I am flawed and I need to prove myself If you are enough, and want to improve, that is different from always needing affirmation from others. (Perfectionism is the 20-ton shield)- you can't be seen. Being Here or Living for the Future Curiosity and Being a Lifelong Learner
  15. (Kind of difficult to drink 8 beers mindfully).
  16. Omm Writer, Freedom, Leechblock. Email exacerbates the urgent to the exclusion of the important You Need Sustained Attention Technology is a (Constant) Distraction and Saps Attention Minimize Your Beeps and Notifications (and your Interruptions and Meetings) Guard Your Attention Jealously
  17. Putting your trial notes in a locked file cabinet, or bury your oral argument tips in a field. (via paper, blog, wiki, video, templates and macros, etc.) (Why Use Your Head as a Storage Device?) Call it a system if you like- produce, share use, re-use improve. Letting Yourself Be Seen) If You Are Not Admitting Mistakes, You are Not Allowing for Improvement. (Everybody Bombs) Yes And . . .
  18. Efficiency, Effectiveness, Knowledge Management, Change Management, Change Control, Innovation
  19. (Put Your Own Mask on) (When You notice Things about yourself, you notice things about others) (opposite of projection). Shame can’t survive emphathy: (Shame Needs Three Things: secrecy, silence, judgment) Be seen If I am going to fall prey to cliches, I will choose these.