The Schipul New Guy ABC's


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Everything you need to know to survive being the new guy at Schipul.

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The Schipul New Guy ABC's

  1. 1. The Schipul New Guy ABC's
  2. 2. A is for Attention <ul><li>Pay attention to everyone’s needs. Everyone’s. </li></ul>
  3. 3. B is for Beer <ul><li>Rodney drinks Stella Artois. The grocery store only has one six pack in stock at any time. </li></ul>
  4. 4. C is for Cranky <ul><li>Cranky is what everyone gets if we run out of half & half. </li></ul>
  5. 5. D is for Dishes <ul><li>Your mom isn’t here. Neither is ours. Do the math. </li></ul>
  6. 6. E is for Eloy <ul><li>This one is pretty self explanatory. </li></ul>
  7. 7. F is for Foosball <ul><li>Bet Ed that you can beat him. See what happens. </li></ul>
  8. 8. G is for Grin <ul><li>Keep smiling, and this will all be over soon. </li></ul>
  9. 9. H is for Hunker <ul><li>Hunker is what Aaron does in his chair. </li></ul>
  10. 10. I is for Identity <ul><li>You’re a Schipulite now. Welcome, clone. </li></ul>
  11. 11. J is for J <ul><li>Jennifer Brooks is J. Guichin Quian is Jenny. Jason is the guy meowing. </li></ul>
  12. 12. K is for Kerry <ul><li>Bow to your sensei. Or else. </li></ul>
  13. 13. L is for Listening <ul><li>Your most valuable tool. And your only opportunity to rest. </li></ul>
  14. 14. M is for Mail <ul><li>Most of it is junk, but don’t throw away the money. We like money. </li></ul>
  15. 15. N is for New Guy <ul><li>Man, the alphabet is long. Look at this puppy! </li></ul>
  16. 16. O is for Office <ul><li>The office runs on three things: </li></ul><ul><li>Alcohol </li></ul><ul><li>Caffeine </li></ul><ul><li>Stupid Jokes </li></ul><ul><li>Have an adequate supply of all three at all times. </li></ul>
  17. 17. P is for Phone <ul><li>It’s probably ringing right now. Answer it! </li></ul>
  18. 18. R is for Reply All <ul><li>Are you ready for the deluge? </li></ul>
  19. 19. S is for Social Media <ul><li> </li></ul><ul><li>Survive and we’ll make you an admin. </li></ul>
  20. 20. T is for Tea <ul><li>Irish Breakfast Tea. LIPTON (!) Green Tea. Have these around if you want to stay on Ed and Kerry’s good side. </li></ul>
  21. 21. U is for Ubiquitous <ul><li>Ubiquitous like Katie’s smiles. </li></ul>
  22. 22. V is for Very Casual <ul><li>Heck, our CEO doesn’t even wear shoes! </li></ul>
  23. 23. W is for Wine <ul><li>Cabernet. Not Merlot. And Nicole’s Chardonnay. And Kim’s Pinot Noir. And Jerri’s Malbec. And Rachel’s Sangiovese. And Daniel’s banana cognac. </li></ul>
  24. 24. X is for Xavier <ul><li>= </li></ul>
  25. 25. Y is for You! <ul><li>We’re glad you’re here! Welcome to the Schipul Team! </li></ul>
  26. 26. Z is for Zangirolami <ul><li>There will be a spelling test later. </li></ul>