1. HOW TO
“GET AWAY WITH
MURDER”
HTTP://IMAGES.CATCHNEWS.COM/UPLOADS/IMAGES/2015/07/06/VYAPAM-MURDER-TOLL-LEAD.JPG
COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
COMPILED BY JENI MAWTER

2. HUMANS ARE COMPLEX CREATURES
CAPABLE OF ACTS OF GREAT EMPATHY
http://www.spring.org.uk/images/empathy-1.jpg http://agilitrix.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Empathy-Four-Elements.jpg

3. BUT THEY ARE ALSO
CAPABLE OF ACTS OF GREAT CRUELTY
EVEN MURDER
Huma
http://www.christopherteh.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/race_exhibit1.jpg

4. WHY IS COVERT NARCISSISTIC
ABUSE SO DEADLY?
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OWHyRudb6RE/maxresdefault.jpg

5. PROLONGED COVERT ABUSE
CAN END WITH HOMICIDE
http://acdn.newshunt.com/fetchdata7/20160408/asianage/headines/images/800x480_IMAGE51820230.jpg

6. PROLONGED COVERT ABUSE
CAN END WITH SUICIDE
http://images.medicaldaily.com/sites/medicaldaily.com/files/styles/headline/public/2015/03/09/rural-isolation.jpg

7. PROLONGED COVERT NARCISSISTIC
ABUSE CAN MURDER YOUR SPIRIT
https://www.smashingmagazine.com/2009/03/30-beautiful-surreal-and-dark-art-pictures/

8. PROLONGED COVERT NARCISSISTIC
ABUSE CAN MURDER YOUR MIND
http://pixelnase.deviantart.com/art/Flying-Brain-70830224

9. PROLONGED COVERT NARCISSISTIC
ABUSE CAN MURDER YOUR SOUL
http://na.square-enix.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/post-image/image_gallery/581/fc6fb5d69910ec49eeea3ce5cf897b29.jpg

10. ON THE SURFACE WE SHARE
THE SAME HUMAN CONDITION

11. OUR WELLNESS RELIES ON OUR
BODY, MIND, SPIRIT + EMOTIONS
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zG0q_aDDd48/UJBrG5LqN0I/AAAAAAAAAIs/RIf5pRA1H58/s1600/SpiritSoulBody-3(houseofmyrrh.com).png

12. FROM "WELLNESS," BY BRIAN LUKE SEAWARD, PH.D., P. 29 IN THE ILLUSTRATED
ENCYCLOPEDIA OF BODY-MIND DISCIPLINE, EDITED BY NANCY ALLISON
TAYLOR & FRANCIS, 1999
BODY: Physical well-being is defined as the optimal condition of each
of the body's physiological systems. These include pulmonary,
cardiovascular, nervous, immune, reproductive, urinary, endocrine,
musculoskeletal, and digestive.
MIND: Mental well-being is understood as the ability to gather,
process, recall and communicate information.
SPIRIT/SOUL: Spiritual well-being is defined as the maturation of
higher consciousness as developed through the dynamic integration
of three facets: relationships (internal, how you relate to yourself and a
higher power, however you conceive this to be; and external, how you
relate and interact with all people in your life), a personal value
system, and a meaningful purpose in life.
EMOTIONS: Emotional well-being is best defined as the ability to feel
and express the entire range of human emotions from anger to love,
and to control them, not be controlled by them.

13. COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ATTACKS
BODY, MIND, SPIRIT AND SOUL
https://psychologicanarchist.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/dark-horror-art1.jpg?w=620

14. WHAT IS
COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE?
To begin with …
"Forget what you think you know
about narcissism.”
Richard Grannon http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/

15. MYTHS THAT DON’T APPLY TO
COVERT NARCISSISTS
You are Told: Narcissists are always brash, loud, assertive,
flashy and confident.
The problem is: Coverts are quiet, insecure and passive.
You are Told: Narcissists will never apologize for things
they do.
The problem is: Coverts can learn that a quick and TOTAL
apology is a really slick way of getting their target to "go
back to sleep" if it looks like they are waking up.
Richard Grannon http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/

16. MYTHS THAT DON’T APPLY TO
COVERT NARCISSISTS
You are told: Narcissists are ambitious, successful, go-
getters full of energy and pumped with charismatic charm.
The problem is: Coverts are marked by failed ambition,
chronic feelings of emptiness, fragility, low functioning and
when depleted can frequently sink into outright depression.
You are told: Narcissists can be detected because they will
always tell you how amazing they are and by bragging
about their achievements.
The problem is: Coverts are known for presenting
themselves as vulnerable victims who can even use that
vulnerability as a hook to bait you in!
Richard Grannon http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/

17. SO, WHAT IS
COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE?
Covert narcissism is a more discrete form of
narcissism displayed by a person with a more
shy and reserved personality. It is characterized
by grandiose fantasies and thoughts, a
perception of entitlement, and a general
sentiment of being better than others. Covert
narcissism is typically expressed in a more
passive and indirect manner than overt
narcissism; it is conveyed with a
condescending attitude, insincerity, passive
aggressiveness, defensiveness, and hostility.
http://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-covert-
narcissism.html

18. IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF LIFE
THIS ALL SOUNDS PRETTY TAME!
To understand how lethal covert narcissistic abuse can be
we can use the “Boiling Frog” metaphor.
Image from https://i.ytimg.com/vi/i648ygPzX3Y/maxresdefault.jpg

19. A METAPHOR: “THE BOILING FROG”
FROM THE STORY OF B, BY DANIEL QUINN
BANTAM PUBLISHING 1996
If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling
water, it will of course frantically try to
clamber out. But if you place it gently
in a pot of tepid water and turn the heat
on low, it will float there quite placidly.
As the water gradually heats up, the
frog will sink into a tranquil stupor,
exactly like one of us in a hot bath, and
before long, with a smile on its face, it
will unresistingly allow itself to be
boiled to death.
Image from http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-
xvlaDzP0keU/Vj4Bl2cnqpI/AAAAAAAAAHY/9m11Ne8Ob60/s1600/FrogBoiling.jpg

20. COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS
PERNICIOUS ABUSE
It is outside the victim’s and other’s awareness
It occurs behind the scenes
It is unrecognized and unquestioned
It is insidious
When the victim protests they are met with wrath or rage
The victim wonders ‘Is it me?’ and ‘Am I crazy?’
When the victim realizes they are trapped and need to escape
they no longer have the resources to do so (identity, family and
friends, finances, self-esteem, mental/emotional exhaustion)
Prolonged abuse is subliminal, occurring over 10,20,30 years
Over this time the victim has been invalidated, devalued,
denigrated, dehumanized, alienated, intimidated, objectified

21. THE PERNICIOUS ABUSE GOES
UNRECOGNIZED AND UNQUESTIONED
http://orig12.deviantart.net/eaae/f/2010/215/0/c/__violent_love_by_nonnetta.jpg

22. COVERT NARCISSISTS EMPLOY THESE
SUBTLE WEAPONS OF ABUSE
Disregard all valid requests
Sarcasm
Neglect
Emotional abandonment
Selective memory/amnesia
Tunnel vision
Denial of apologies
Denial of compliments
Denial of achievements
Set up ‘No Win’ situations
False accusations ‘Liar!’
Excuses ‘No Win’
http://www.liveluvcreate.com/index.php?site=image&id=502095

23. COVERT NARCISSISTS EMPLOY THESE
SUBTLE WEAPONS OF ABUSE (CON’T)
“NARC
SPEAK”
https://robertmgoldstein.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/how-to-spot-a-narcississts-word-salad.jpg?w=924

24. SO, HOW DO COVERT NARCISSISTS
GET AWAY WITH MURDER?
They implement identical Execution Tactics
Let’s look at these in more detail …
https://cdn.slidesharecdn.com/ss_thumbnails/strategyexecution-110625204548-phpapp01-thumbnail-3.jpg

25. THEY CHOOSE THEIR TARGETS CAREFULLY
Sensitive
Empathetic
Kind
Trusting
Likes to help others
Honest
Loving
Curious
Friendly
Aspiring
https://assets.entrepreneur.com/content/16x9/822/1406578312-big-
organizational-challenges-can-be-overcome-transparency.jpg

26. PREFERABLY PEOPLE SECURE
CHILDHOOD ATTACHMENTS
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ngJ1Iwi85FI/maxresdefault.jpg

27. THEY TEST TO ENSURE THE TARGET
IS KIND, CARING AND EMPATHETIC
http://www.idontstink.com/images/kindness_challenge_page.jpg

28. A GOOD SOB STORY WORKS WONDERS!
http://orig06.deviantart.net/e896/f/2011/220/c/8/sob_story_by_euphreana-d45vvt3.jpg

29. COVERTS MIRROR THEIR TARGET’S
NEEDS, DESIRES, VALUES AND FEARS
ALWAYS
WEAR
A
MASK
https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/12115871_f520.jpg

30. CONVINCE THEM THEY ARE THEIR
SOUL MATE
https://avalancheofthesoul.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/lovebomb.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7f/
a0/41/7fa04193e690ffd43aa5d53346cc36a1.jpg

31. COVERT NARCISSISTS PRETEND TO BE
THE NICEST, MOST CARING, KIND, GENEROUS,
TRUSTWORTHIEST PERSON ON THE PLANET
http://www.shanty-2-chic.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Worlds-Greatest-Name-Tag-Labels.gif

32. ONCE THE VICTIM IS HOOKED
THE COVERTS TAKE THEIR TIME
ABUSE IS SUBLIMINAL
Months …
Years …
Decades work best!
subliminal
səˈblɪmɪn(ə)l/
Adjective PSYCHOLOGY
adjective: subliminal
(of a stimulus or mental process) below the threshold of sensation or
consciousness; perceived by or affecting someone's mind without their
being aware of it

33. COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS
USE “WHITE ANTING”
White anting refers to
the action or process
of bringing down (a
person) from within:
undermining,
sabotage.
It is a pattern of
behavior occurring
over long periods of
time.
Systematic
Diminishment
of Another

34. WHITE ANTING CAN BE LETHAL
https://erininjuba.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/ants-go-marching3.png

35. COVERT ABUSERS GRADUALLY EMPLOY
CONTROL AND MANIPULATION TACTICS
USUALLY “BEHIND THE SCENES”
Devalue, denigrate, dehumanize
http://www.cscaa.com/images_dvip/loveshouldnthurt.jpg

36. THEY SET UP “NO WIN” SITUATIONS
Impossible to please
Damned if you do/don’t
Blame shifting
Circular conversations
Projections
Selective amnesia
Silent treatment
Baiting
Narcissistic Rage
Switching topics https://clisanti.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/slaughter-house.jpg

37. USE ‘ALWAYS’ AND ‘NEVER’
STATEMENTS THAT ARE RARELY TRUE
“I never get affection.”
“I always give into you.”
“You never listen.”
“That’s right…
It’s always my fault.”
https://hopelesslyfunny.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/always-right-never-wrong.jpg

38. COVERTS ABUSE INTERMITTENTLY
THIS PATTERN IS REPEATED OVER TIME
Abuse for short burst.
Behave normally.
Repeat episode of mistreatment.
Behave normally.
Hoover if you have to. Pretend to care. Repeat.
Abuse for short burst.
Behave normally.
Repeat episode of mistreatment.
Behave normally.
Hoover if you have to. Pretend to care. Repeat.

39. https://emma75love.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/narc-cycle.jpg

40. THE SILENT TREATMENT IS A
SANITIZED VERSION OF MURDER
http://rickthomas.net/weekend-shorts-silent-treatment-is-the-sanitized-version-of-murder/

41. COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS
VIOLATE ALL BOUNDARIES
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Tpn4sqyBHlE/T_sTexBRn9I/AAAAAAAAAjM/mzgPsU2c098/s1600/Relationship+Chart.jpg

42. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rHA_i9rTwGY/TxgKQV4dCXI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/KnWYfFMb7Lw/s1600/gaslight6.png
‘GASLIGHTING’ IS WEAPON OF CHOICE
FOR COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
VICTIMS THEN THINK THEY’RE CRAZY

43. ‘… GASLIGHTING, ESPECIALLY
IF IT IS REPETITIVE, CAN
PRECIPITATE A WIDE RANGE
OF PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS,
UP TO AND INCLUDING
PSYCHOSIS AND SUICIDE
BEHAVIOR BY THE VICTIMS.’
QUOTE BY DR THEODORE LDORPAT, CRIMES OF PUNISHMENT:
AMERICA'S CULTURE OF VIOLENCE, ALGORA PUBLISHING, 2007, P 180

44. GASLIGHTING
http://queenbeeing.com/twisted-toxic-love-inside-the-distorted-mind-of-a-narcisssist/

45. SOME GASLIGHTING TECHNIQUES
TAKEN FROM THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
WWW.HOTLINE.ORG
Withholding: the abusive partner pretends not to understand or refuses
to listen. “I don’t want to hear this again,” or “You’re trying to confuse
me.”
Countering: the abusive partner questions the victim’s memory of
events, even when the victim remembers them accurately. “You’re
wrong, you never remember things correctly.”
Blocking/Diverting: the abusive partner changes the subject and/or
questions the victim’s thoughts. “Is that another crazy idea you got from
[friend/family member]?” or “You’re imagining things.”
Trivializing: the abusive partner makes the victim’s needs or feelings
seem unimportant. Ex. “You’re going to get angry over a little thing like
that?” or “You’re too sensitive.”
Forgetting/Denial: the abusive partner pretends to have forgotten what
actually occurred or denies things like promises made to the victim. Ex.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or “You’re just making stuff
up.”

46. GASLIGHTING DESTROYS
THEIR TARGET’S REALITY
https://jackbrummet.blogspot.com.au/2009_05_01_archive.html

47. COVERT ABUSERS EXPAND THEIR
“REACH” AND “INFLUENCE”
http://image.slidesharecdn.com/week-5-impression-management-100331220909-phpapp01/95/week-5-impression-management-15-728.jpg?cb=1270073881

48. LIKE CULT LEADERS THEY AMASS
LOYAL FOLLOWERS OR “ENABLERS”
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2015-11-18-1447861833-1859311-peoplestempleblackwoman.jpg

49. COVERTS SEND
OUT THEIR
ENABLERS OR
“FLYING
MONKEYS”
AT EVERY
OPPORTUNITY
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NIPa7jOq694/hqdefault.jpg
flying monkey
In popular psychology, a flying monkey is
someone who does the narcissist’s
bidding to inflict additional torment to the
narcissist's victim.
It might consists of spying on the victim,
spreading gossip, threatening, painting the
narcissist as the victim and their target as
the perpetrator.
Despite this, the narcissist does not
hesitate to make flying monkeys their
scapegoats when and if needed.
The narcissist might send siblings as flying
monkeys to badger the adult child back.
#narcissism #narcissist #narcissists
#flying monkey #flying monkeys
by Narcissistic Notes Fb page April 15,
2014

50. COVERTS MUST CONTROL
THEIR VICTIM’S ENTIRE WORLD
CONTROL
- Friendships
- Family members
- Finances
- Identity
- Workplace
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-
TUW1eWC8G6A/U1byYuXG3eI/AAAAAAAAAvI/k6XtqmFyFa8/s1600/Triangulation+-

51. THEY USE BLAME, SHAME + PROJECTION
VICTIMS ARE TOLD THEY ARE ALWAYS WRONG
Always insist that
“the victim is the
problem”.
The victim knows
something is terribly
wrong but they can’t
figure out what.
Because the abuse is
difficult to perceive
the victim will think
“It must be me.”
http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/iamnotcrazy.g
if

52. SHUT DOWN THEIR VICTIM’S IDENTITY
Do not allow:
Thoughts
Feelings
Needs or wants
Desires
Opinions
Beliefs
Ideas
Values
Interests
Goals
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/54/06/5e/54065ef5c6b11a409c0e0864fe43da10.jpg

53. DISMISS, IGNORE OR OBLITERATE
BASIC HUMAN EMOTIONAL NEEDS
https://pjadallah.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/basichumanneeds-copy-1.jpg

55. COVERT
NARCISSISTIC
ABUSE
LEADS TO
EMOTIONAL
SHUTDOWN https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/97/e5f2/97e5f24abf891920e7550c68b4b2de3d.jpg

56. COVERTS
IMITATE
CARING
THEY
FEIGN
EMPATHY
https://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/053eb82eebbaf8f
88978293e30e5cdbf861d12-v5-wm.jpg?v=0

57. IF ACCUSED COVERT NARCS
PROTEST THEIR INNOCENCE
http://s1296.photobucket.com/user/Meahri66/media/innocent_zpseca351d1.jpg.html

58. LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY
LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY
http://www.superiorsilkscreen.com/1184-1244-thickbox/lie-deny-counter-accuse-and-act-innocent.jpg

59. LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY
LIE AND DENY LIE AND DENY
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fe/18/f1/fe18f17651503c323e9a100e591e65fb.jpg

60. COVERT NARCISSISTS
NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
https://psychopathresistance.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/yourfault2.png?w=584

61. THEY HAVE PERFECTED “THE SMIRK”
https://t5.rbxcdn.com/bf58ec114ca822d30b4a6732824f2089

62. IGNORE ALL SIGNS OF COMPLEX
POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER
https://cptsd.help/assets/images/cptsd-brain.jpg

63. COVERTS IGNORE ALL SIGNS OF
C-PTSD IN THEIR VICTIMS
HYPERVIGILENCE CRIPPLING ANXIETY
http://www.lastwordonnothing.com/wp-content/uploads/
2013/07/shutterstock_startle-300x300.jpg
https://tommyboland.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/white_knuckles.jpg

64. PROLONGED COMPLEX PTSD CAN KILL
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_zO7E0wkpor4/TBPsMdcjtFI/AAAAAAAAB_I/97UrnzODRGk/s1600/589a46cf-1.jpg

65. COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS USE
SLANDER IN THE GUISE OF CONCERN
Smear Campaigns
False accusations
Scapegoating
Shaming
Gossip
https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/g/grouchomarx/125514/grou
chomarx1.jpg

66. http://religionnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Excommunication.jpg
Attain trust,
respect and
belief of all
those close to
the target victim
so that no-one
believes them.
This way
victims suffer
alone.
COVERTS DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY
TO ENSURE THE VICTIM SUFFERS ALONE

67. COVERT NARCS REVERSE ROLES AND
PRETEND TO BE THE VICTIM
http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/e35/12063009_118980391797121_201869972_n.jpg?ig_cache_key=MTExMDg4MDQ3NzMyMTUyMzc1OA%3D%3D.2

68. THEY ELICIT SYMPATHY AT ALL TIMES
FROM THEIR ENABLERS AND OTHERS
http://brentbourgeois.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Poor-Me.jpg

69. YET COVERT NARCISSIST ABUSERS
NEVER SEEK PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP
The real victim will search for help because
they can’t stand their suffering.
The Covert-Narcissist-Playing-the-Victim
will just tell others about their suffering and
never search for psychological help.
Why would they?
They were never abused!
They’re NOT in pain.
They’re too busy looking for their next
source of Narcissistic Supply.

70. SO, WHERE WILL THEY FIND THEIR NEXT
BATCH OF POTENTIAL VICTIMS?
In waiting rooms around the world!
Family Doctors
Psychiatrists
Psychologists
Trauma Centers
Pharmacies
Looking for those diagnosed with
Anxiety Depression C- PTSD
Stroke Heart Attacks
http://img12.deviantart.net/ aa9c/i/2014/298/b/c/
pills_by_lora_zombie-d842e9v.png

71. https://narcbaitdiary.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/image4.jpg

72. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ef/f7/ec/eff7ecf83907a266e582746c6b4ab34b.jpg

73. COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
THE SILENT KILLER
http://www.apa.org/Images/death-title-image_tcm7-187855.jpg

74. PLEASE SHARE THESE OTHER LINKS ON
NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/red-flags-to-narcissistic-
personality-disorder-compiled-by-jeni-mawter
http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/narcissistic-victim-syndrome-a-
powerpoint-by-jeni-mawter
http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/moving-on-from-narcissistic-
abuse-due-to-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd-compiled-by-jeni-
mawter
http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/verbal-abuse-and-the-narcissist-
communication-tactics-designed-to-make-you-crazy
http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/why-cant-i-move-on-
narcissistic-abuse-a-complex-trauma-compiled-by-jeni-mawter

75. COVERT NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
THE PERFECT MURDER?
http://www.freexero.com/asseenontv/fullsize/massgrave%201k.jpg