2009 Demotion Presentation Text Format


Published on

June 17, 2009 demotion party for the Rotary Club of San Luis Obispo de Tolosa. The event was held at the Avila Yacht Club for President mark Furia after a very successful year in which our club attained "super club" status within our district.

Published in: Entertainment & Humor
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Total views
On SlideShare
From Embeds
Number of Embeds
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

2009 Demotion Presentation Text Format

  1. 1. Rotary Club of San Luis Obispo de Tolosa Demotion for President Mark
  2. 2. <ul><li>One of Mark's early inventions the &quot;Tie-Kin&quot;, was a dismal failure despite his &quot;You can really clean your plate after any meal&quot; advertising campaign. Allegedly, Steve Lombardi accepted a payment in kind for his services, and still continues to give these out as gifts to clients and relatives. </li></ul><ul><li>FBI picture before he enter the witness protection program. And sweaters are now used for a disguise. </li></ul><ul><li>I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse </li></ul>
  3. 3. <ul><li>Officers Baker and Poncherello relax after a tough day on the Highway. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark enjoyed many years of service with Proctor and Gamble as an under-cover deodorant tester. </li></ul><ul><li>Lower Mark, Lower. </li></ul>
  4. 4. <ul><li>Mark's early career as a model for the K-Mart catalogue was understandably short-lived. </li></ul><ul><li>Barbara is an example of timeless grace and beauty. Mark an example of dated 70’s coco brown leisure suits. </li></ul><ul><li>What's the nice Jewish girl doing with the masugana? </li></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>..and for the rest of the marriage...she carried him! </li></ul><ul><li>Is that one of those hippie baby carry things? </li></ul><ul><li>Hurry and take the picture, she's slipping. </li></ul>
  6. 6. <ul><li>Duct tape was a vital component to Mark's early dating years. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark working as a duct tape salesman at the PA State Fair. </li></ul>
  7. 7. <ul><li>Mark was a pioneer in nano proctology. Shrunk to the size of a pinky finger Mark was able to examine first hand the ravages of a poorly treated colon. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark never saw the rock sneaking up behind him. </li></ul>
  8. 8. <ul><li>Mark dreamed of his boys winning the belly flop competition. </li></ul><ul><li>The pool was the best place for mark to practice levitating the kids. </li></ul>
  9. 9. <ul><li>Mark quietly celebrates the recent issuance of his medical marijuana card. </li></ul><ul><li>The weather outside is frightful, my sweater so delightful... </li></ul><ul><li>Mark's thinking; &quot;man I look hot in sweaters”. </li></ul>
  10. 10. <ul><li>While Barbara was excited about the arrival of their first child, Mark remained strangely attached to his favorite kitten. </li></ul><ul><li>practicing for the Olympic event &quot;Family luge&quot;. </li></ul>
  11. 11. <ul><li>A lot of people didn't know Barb dated Jim Jones before he left. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark takes his new marijuana card out on the town. </li></ul>
  12. 12. <ul><li>One of Mark's signature K-Mart portfolio shots. </li></ul><ul><li>Yet again Mark had to pose by himself. </li></ul>
  13. 13. <ul><li>And the 5th place finalist in this year's Richard Simmons Marathon, Mark Furia! </li></ul><ul><li>Don't ask....Don't tell. Words that Mark has always lived by. </li></ul><ul><li>“ Hey, why won’t anyone run beside me?” </li></ul>
  14. 14. <ul><li>Mark makes one final check to ensure that his head is really attached before the race. </li></ul><ul><li>I dub thee prince of the pink panties. </li></ul>
  15. 15. <ul><li>Many insiders have concluded that Barbara is legally blind. </li></ul><ul><li>I don't want to be president of rotary ever again, honey. </li></ul><ul><li>A nice sunny afternoon, a beautiful woman on my lap, yet I feel strangely irregular. </li></ul>
  16. 16. <ul><li>Proof that good looks are passed on through the mother. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark and son celebrate another successful tagging project. </li></ul>
  17. 17. <ul><li>Mark's found the dynamic field of wheel-chair repossession to be enjoyable, but not financially rewarding. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark's loving parents visited him while he was in rehab. </li></ul>
  18. 18. <ul><li>Jeff, Mark and Carl surprised the club with their rousing singing tribute to Somolian Pirates. </li></ul><ul><li>Little known fact that Jeff, Mark and Bud have a record deal with deaftone records. </li></ul>
  19. 19. <ul><li>This isn't child-spree, this photograph was taken yesterday at Macy's in Santa Maria. </li></ul><ul><li>The small child was nervous when the big elf came by. </li></ul><ul><li>How often can you find a hat that matches your underwear so well....especially in June? </li></ul>
  20. 20. <ul><li>Ever hear about couples who start to look alike? </li></ul><ul><li>It was probably the &quot;Sing with me or else&quot; attitude that the children found most traumatizing. </li></ul><ul><li>Megan's Law required Barb to lead the Christmas Sing Along, while Mark (and his ankle bracelet) enjoyed the songs from the adjoining room. </li></ul>
  21. 21. <ul><li>&quot;Has anyone seen a goofy looking grown man in an elf hat?&quot; </li></ul><ul><li>It's always a joyous day when Barb finds size 16 hello kitty slippers for Mark. </li></ul>
  22. 22. <ul><li>Yet again Mark is alone in the picture and still finds a way to flip off the cameraman. </li></ul><ul><li>I wish Paul would bring his own toothpicks to these damn BBQ's. </li></ul><ul><li>I know I have a quarter. </li></ul>
  23. 23. <ul><li>Mark's recent efforts to revive the Tie-Kin, never got off the ground. </li></ul><ul><li>Sorry, I prefer sweater with a lot of color and they need to make me look sexy too. I have a image to uphold. </li></ul>
  24. 24. <ul><li>Okay, who is that guy looking at my wife? </li></ul><ul><li>Wow hot women I hope my wife does not see me checking her out. </li></ul><ul><li>One beer makes him grumpy. </li></ul>
  25. 25. <ul><li>Mark knows that soon the drugs he put in Barb's beer will take affect. </li></ul><ul><li>Barbara suddenly realized he did look better after the fourth or fifth beer. </li></ul>
  26. 26. <ul><li>Sheepishly, Mark returns the stolen sod. </li></ul><ul><li>Like many of his better ideas, the dirt-pizza delivery service was somewhat less than successful. </li></ul><ul><li>“ When they said come to a grass party, I thought it meant something else.” </li></ul>
  27. 27. <ul><li>Mark finds name tags useful in virtually every aspect of everyday life. </li></ul><ul><li>Advice Mark got from his mom. “Never be caught with errant nose hairs.” </li></ul>
  28. 29. <ul><li>Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges, I'm the president of Rotary! </li></ul><ul><li>“ I’d like to introduce you to my Russian mail order bride.” </li></ul>
  29. 30. <ul><li>Just smile and pretend everything is okay, and no one will get hurt. </li></ul><ul><li>Separated at birth. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark had no idea what Paul meant when he called him a foxhole buddy. Being patriotic, Mark played along. </li></ul>
  30. 31. <ul><li>Mark has a special way of making us all proud to be Rotarians. </li></ul><ul><li>My surgery is scheduled for Thursday. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark's 30th year high school reunion was a wild one. </li></ul>
  31. 32. <ul><li>What's the Tie-Kin dude doing with my sweater? </li></ul><ul><li>Mark, whatever you do, don't pull Bill's finger. </li></ul><ul><li>Bill introduces his new line of sweaters called. &quot;Off-Mark&quot; </li></ul>
  32. 33. <ul><li>Only the newest cow-poke really enjoyed the shared showers that water rationing required at the Ponderosa. </li></ul><ul><li>Only Tony Bennet knows where Mark's heart lies. </li></ul>
  33. 34. <ul><li>Mark thought as president of Rotary he could be like Obama and print his own money. </li></ul><ul><li>....more proof that Mark enjoys his new card. </li></ul>
  34. 35. <ul><li>Tie-Kins...the perfect christmas gift. </li></ul><ul><li>Donna Reed suddenly finds the stand in for gramps does not fit the part. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark finally has a group of admirers even though their cut outs. </li></ul>
  35. 37. <ul><li>One is a goofy character who frightens children and the other is a giant bird. </li></ul><ul><li>Someone tell Mr. Rodgers here to get his hand off my tail </li></ul>
  36. 38. <ul><li>Behind me are the files containing the permanent records of each and every one of you. </li></ul><ul><li>Only two weeks left! </li></ul><ul><li>Thank you Mark for a job well done. </li></ul>