2009 Demotion Presentation Text Format


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2009 Demotion Presentation Text Format

  1. 1. Rotary Club of San Luis Obispo de Tolosa Demotion for President Mark
  2. 2. <ul><li>One of Mark's early inventions the &quot;Tie-Kin&quot;, was a dismal failure despite his &quot;You can really clean your plate after any meal&quot; advertising campaign. Allegedly, Steve Lombardi accepted a payment in kind for his services, and still continues to give these out as gifts to clients and relatives. </li></ul><ul><li>FBI picture before he enter the witness protection program. And sweaters are now used for a disguise. </li></ul><ul><li>I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse </li></ul>
  3. 3. <ul><li>Officers Baker and Poncherello relax after a tough day on the Highway. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark enjoyed many years of service with Proctor and Gamble as an under-cover deodorant tester. </li></ul><ul><li>Lower Mark, Lower. </li></ul>
  4. 4. <ul><li>Mark's early career as a model for the K-Mart catalogue was understandably short-lived. </li></ul><ul><li>Barbara is an example of timeless grace and beauty. Mark an example of dated 70’s coco brown leisure suits. </li></ul><ul><li>What's the nice Jewish girl doing with the masugana? </li></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>..and for the rest of the marriage...she carried him! </li></ul><ul><li>Is that one of those hippie baby carry things? </li></ul><ul><li>Hurry and take the picture, she's slipping. </li></ul>
  6. 6. <ul><li>Duct tape was a vital component to Mark's early dating years. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark working as a duct tape salesman at the PA State Fair. </li></ul>
  7. 7. <ul><li>Mark was a pioneer in nano proctology. Shrunk to the size of a pinky finger Mark was able to examine first hand the ravages of a poorly treated colon. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark never saw the rock sneaking up behind him. </li></ul>
  8. 8. <ul><li>Mark dreamed of his boys winning the belly flop competition. </li></ul><ul><li>The pool was the best place for mark to practice levitating the kids. </li></ul>
  9. 9. <ul><li>Mark quietly celebrates the recent issuance of his medical marijuana card. </li></ul><ul><li>The weather outside is frightful, my sweater so delightful... </li></ul><ul><li>Mark's thinking; &quot;man I look hot in sweaters”. </li></ul>
  10. 10. <ul><li>While Barbara was excited about the arrival of their first child, Mark remained strangely attached to his favorite kitten. </li></ul><ul><li>practicing for the Olympic event &quot;Family luge&quot;. </li></ul>
  11. 11. <ul><li>A lot of people didn't know Barb dated Jim Jones before he left. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark takes his new marijuana card out on the town. </li></ul>
  12. 12. <ul><li>One of Mark's signature K-Mart portfolio shots. </li></ul><ul><li>Yet again Mark had to pose by himself. </li></ul>
  13. 13. <ul><li>And the 5th place finalist in this year's Richard Simmons Marathon, Mark Furia! </li></ul><ul><li>Don't ask....Don't tell. Words that Mark has always lived by. </li></ul><ul><li>“ Hey, why won’t anyone run beside me?” </li></ul>
  14. 14. <ul><li>Mark makes one final check to ensure that his head is really attached before the race. </li></ul><ul><li>I dub thee prince of the pink panties. </li></ul>
  15. 15. <ul><li>Many insiders have concluded that Barbara is legally blind. </li></ul><ul><li>I don't want to be president of rotary ever again, honey. </li></ul><ul><li>A nice sunny afternoon, a beautiful woman on my lap, yet I feel strangely irregular. </li></ul>
  16. 16. <ul><li>Proof that good looks are passed on through the mother. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark and son celebrate another successful tagging project. </li></ul>
  17. 17. <ul><li>Mark's found the dynamic field of wheel-chair repossession to be enjoyable, but not financially rewarding. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark's loving parents visited him while he was in rehab. </li></ul>
  18. 18. <ul><li>Jeff, Mark and Carl surprised the club with their rousing singing tribute to Somolian Pirates. </li></ul><ul><li>Little known fact that Jeff, Mark and Bud have a record deal with deaftone records. </li></ul>
  19. 19. <ul><li>This isn't child-spree, this photograph was taken yesterday at Macy's in Santa Maria. </li></ul><ul><li>The small child was nervous when the big elf came by. </li></ul><ul><li>How often can you find a hat that matches your underwear so well....especially in June? </li></ul>
  20. 20. <ul><li>Ever hear about couples who start to look alike? </li></ul><ul><li>It was probably the &quot;Sing with me or else&quot; attitude that the children found most traumatizing. </li></ul><ul><li>Megan's Law required Barb to lead the Christmas Sing Along, while Mark (and his ankle bracelet) enjoyed the songs from the adjoining room. </li></ul>
  21. 21. <ul><li>&quot;Has anyone seen a goofy looking grown man in an elf hat?&quot; </li></ul><ul><li>It's always a joyous day when Barb finds size 16 hello kitty slippers for Mark. </li></ul>
  22. 22. <ul><li>Yet again Mark is alone in the picture and still finds a way to flip off the cameraman. </li></ul><ul><li>I wish Paul would bring his own toothpicks to these damn BBQ's. </li></ul><ul><li>I know I have a quarter. </li></ul>
  23. 23. <ul><li>Mark's recent efforts to revive the Tie-Kin, never got off the ground. </li></ul><ul><li>Sorry, I prefer sweater with a lot of color and they need to make me look sexy too. I have a image to uphold. </li></ul>
  24. 24. <ul><li>Okay, who is that guy looking at my wife? </li></ul><ul><li>Wow hot women I hope my wife does not see me checking her out. </li></ul><ul><li>One beer makes him grumpy. </li></ul>
  25. 25. <ul><li>Mark knows that soon the drugs he put in Barb's beer will take affect. </li></ul><ul><li>Barbara suddenly realized he did look better after the fourth or fifth beer. </li></ul>
  26. 26. <ul><li>Sheepishly, Mark returns the stolen sod. </li></ul><ul><li>Like many of his better ideas, the dirt-pizza delivery service was somewhat less than successful. </li></ul><ul><li>“ When they said come to a grass party, I thought it meant something else.” </li></ul>
  27. 27. <ul><li>Mark finds name tags useful in virtually every aspect of everyday life. </li></ul><ul><li>Advice Mark got from his mom. “Never be caught with errant nose hairs.” </li></ul>
  28. 29. <ul><li>Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges, I'm the president of Rotary! </li></ul><ul><li>“ I’d like to introduce you to my Russian mail order bride.” </li></ul>
  29. 30. <ul><li>Just smile and pretend everything is okay, and no one will get hurt. </li></ul><ul><li>Separated at birth. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark had no idea what Paul meant when he called him a foxhole buddy. Being patriotic, Mark played along. </li></ul>
  30. 31. <ul><li>Mark has a special way of making us all proud to be Rotarians. </li></ul><ul><li>My surgery is scheduled for Thursday. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark's 30th year high school reunion was a wild one. </li></ul>
  31. 32. <ul><li>What's the Tie-Kin dude doing with my sweater? </li></ul><ul><li>Mark, whatever you do, don't pull Bill's finger. </li></ul><ul><li>Bill introduces his new line of sweaters called. &quot;Off-Mark&quot; </li></ul>
  32. 33. <ul><li>Only the newest cow-poke really enjoyed the shared showers that water rationing required at the Ponderosa. </li></ul><ul><li>Only Tony Bennet knows where Mark's heart lies. </li></ul>
  33. 34. <ul><li>Mark thought as president of Rotary he could be like Obama and print his own money. </li></ul><ul><li>....more proof that Mark enjoys his new card. </li></ul>
  34. 35. <ul><li>Tie-Kins...the perfect christmas gift. </li></ul><ul><li>Donna Reed suddenly finds the stand in for gramps does not fit the part. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark finally has a group of admirers even though their cut outs. </li></ul>
  35. 37. <ul><li>One is a goofy character who frightens children and the other is a giant bird. </li></ul><ul><li>Someone tell Mr. Rodgers here to get his hand off my tail </li></ul>
  36. 38. <ul><li>Behind me are the files containing the permanent records of each and every one of you. </li></ul><ul><li>Only two weeks left! </li></ul><ul><li>Thank you Mark for a job well done. </li></ul>