Spartan Race Preparedness Chart


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Do you think you have what it takes to tackle a Spartan Race? How much training have you done? It's time for a gut-check. It's time for some soul-searching. It's time to assess your preparedness for the Race. Check out the Preparedness Chart and see how much extra training you need to put in before the big show. Then hop over to and find out how to do it.

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Spartan Race Preparedness Chart

  1. 1. Preparedness
  2. 2. “ I am the eater of worlds, and of children. I am every nightmare youve ever had, your worst dream come true. Im everything you ever were afraid of.” “ We can still be teammates though, Here, shake my hand...”• Is there anything more scary than a Clown? How about a Clown that is an incarnation of Evil and feeds on little children? Because thats the kind of sick humor that is Pennywise The Clown. Capable of bringing your deepest fears to life, he feeds off of your terror, and laughs in merriment as he devours your soul.• It had signed up to participate in the Spartan Sprint, figuring this would be an opportunity to meet “new friends.” And shortly after the race started a Clown was seen prancing about, giving out balloons, and candy. However, halfway through the race, he mysteriously disappeared. Maybe a Clown suit and Clown shoes were not the best race gear...or maybe he was just busy playing with his new friends...• This isnt the circus folks, and this isnt your ordinary 5K. But put them together, and youre starting to get the picture. So, while a Spartan Sprint may be a great time, if you think you can jump off the couch and run right through the finish line, then you are the Clown...
  3. 3. “ GWAAOOORRR!” “ Soon, Ill look just like you, ..And youll look just like me."• This one stop butcher shop is the true reason why vegetarianism became mainstream in the 1970s. Tortured by the public and dehumanized by family, this twisted souls only talent was carving meat at the local Texas slaughterhouse. A talent he carried with him when he traded in his cleaver for a Chainsaw and changed his culinary focus from bovine to human.• Not usually being allowed outside his house, Leatherface saw the Spartan Sprint as a special occasion and put on his formal-face, which was still adorned with makeup from its original owner. And when the Race started, he became a mobile meat processing plant, scooping up slow and tired racers, and turning them into tomorrows chili. And, while he finished the race, he was far from first, but in his defense, the hunks of fresh meat he carried with him probably slowed him down.• Even if you are a bull, bred for mowing down long runs of Race-Course, youll still meet the butcher in the end. Natural ability without training wont get you a grade AA rating. So, if you want to finish the Race a cut above the rest, you need to train. Otherwise expect....a Massacre.
  4. 4. “ .....” “ Your pain and anguish created me. ...Now endure your creation.”• The manifestation of judgment, Pyramidhead is the immortal incarnation of the immoral soul. He embodies anger, pain, and guilt; and exists to deliver the perfect mix of the three unto those deserving of it. It was your sins that created him, and it will be your sins that he feeds back to you in the most painful and grotesque way imaginable.• On the day that Pyramidhead entered the Spartan Sprint not one single other racer showed up, and he won be default. But the thing is, the racers were there, they were just beyond the reaches of our reality. They were with him...running their own race, and suffering their own pain. And while there was punishment and there was agony, there was no sound from the Silent Hill.• To Dominate the Spartan Sprint you wont be able to simply rely on the other racers not showing up. You will need training specifically designed for the horrors that wait in store for you. Either man-up by facing your sins during Sport-Specific Training, or prepare to be man- handled while you atone for them over, and over again during the race.
  5. 5. “ .....” “ Those who separate my family from me …Will be separated from their lives.”• Halloween is a time when the good souls of the earth hide behind the faces of demons to blend in with what is awakened on that night. Michael Myers is a force of pure evil who hides behind the face of a man to blend in amongst those he is here to raze. Without conscious or remorse he begins an outward spiral of carnage, taking the lives of those closest to him first, and moving on to everything else.• This silent destructive force entered the Super Spartan and was spotted numerous times during the course, ransacking both obstacles and racers. However he was never seen crossing the finish line, which means he either found what he was looking for, or is still out there….waiting, biding his time until you cross his path.• To wreak the kind of havoc on the Course that Michael Myers did you are going to need the strength of ten men. So, you had better start training, because that kind of force needs many years of patience and determination to evolve. And without it, you’re just some Maniac with coveralls and a kitchen knife…who kinda looks like William Shatner.
  6. 6. “ .....” “ You sin with your flesh. Let me remove it from you.”• Camp Crystal Lake is home to both a summer camp and a machete- wielding maniac. The curse of Friday the 13th bore an evil into this world which was created by the sins of youth. This evil can’t be reasoned with, can’t be appeased, and can’t be stopped. It’s gone to Hell and back again, and every time it brings along a few more for the ride.• The Super Spartan was the perfect place for the evil that is Jason Voorhies to purge the world of more temptation-ridden youths. Appearing here, there, and seemingly everywhere he made no discrimination, and allowed no safe haven as he exacted his vengeance on racers and event workers alike. And when his work was done, and he finished the race, he still wasn’t first…because he walked the entire time.• To fare better than the demon in the hockey mask you’ll have to run from start to finish, no stopping, no looking back. Because if you stop, even if just for a second, he’ll be behind you. And once he’s caught you his wrath upon you will conclude only when the crime scene unit arrives to place your leftovers in little plastic bags.
  7. 7. “ Dreams contain endless pleasure. Nightmares contain endless pain.” “ You’ re in my world now, So your endless pain will be my endless pleasure.”• The bastard son of 100 maniacs, defiler of children, and perverter of dreams, the story of Freddy matches his appearance: vile and repulsive. He spent his formative years absorbing all the pain and suffering of the world around him, and in his adult life he gave it back ten-fold. And now, no longer a man and furthest from human, he spreads a wider net of torment, afflicting new generations and locations.• Kruger entered the Super Spartan as a publicity stunt; winning the Race would make everyone know his name, and allow him to spread his poison throughout the world. And he did just that, except he pushed the race up, to the night before. With the Race in his Nightmare realm it was no longer about winning; it was now about escape and survival. But how do you wake up from someone else’s dream? Eliminating hope, the Dream Demon humiliated, tormented, and dissected racers one by one, until he alone was left to cross the finish line with a line of souls in tow.• Even if you are not On Elm Street, you will be hunted. If it isn’t Freddy, it will be a couple of Spartans with big sticks guarding the finish line. There is safety in numbers, and numbers are what you’ll need to have a chance at defeating either. In Ragnarok lies your salvation. And if you think you’re bad enough to go it alone, well…keep dreaming.
  8. 8. “ I have such sights to show you, Your suffering will be legendary, ...Even in hell.” “ And down the dark decades of your pain, This agony will seem like a memory of Heaven.”• Demons to some, Angels to others, The Cenobites are beings who offer to show all those who are worthy that pain and pleasure are indivisible. Delightful pain and excruciating pleasure are the gifts that Pinhead bestows upon those who solve the Lament Configuration. His song is the sound of razors through flesh, and his actions much, much worse. His job is Hellraiser, and he aims to do so over, around, and right through you.• The Spartan Beast became his playground of the day. He gracefully made his way through the course opening the eyes of Racers to what true bliss really is as he peeled the flesh from their very bones. And as he crossed the halfway point, he realized he had already used up all the barbed wire on the course to create his tortured Pillar of Souls, and his amusement waned. In a flash he was gone, and all that remained was a small puzzle-box awaiting the next pilgrim.• Unless you have the fury of Hell itself behind you, dont expect to waltz up to the Race and sing your own song as you destroy the Course. You need to take your own spiritual journey through the realm of pain and agony by doing the Ragnarok Training Individual Workouts. You will then be reborn as a being capable of subduing The Beast. Attempting the Race without that level of preparation would just make you a Pinhead.
  9. 9. “ …(Hiss)…” “ You are but flesh from which to feed, Water from which to drink, And but husk for our seed.”• The perfect life-form; the perfect weapon. It was Engineered by the Creator from sin itself and evolved through the entire chain of life, gaining strength and ability with each new species it incorporates. The Xenomorph is pure in being and solitary in focus. Neither good, nor evil, it exists to live, and lives to continue its existence. Without conscious or recourse, it scavenges and feeds off the rest of the universe to continue its goal.• The Aliens didnt enter the Race, so much as they were unleashed upon it. Quickly spreading through and overtaking the Spartan Beast like a black plague, there was no haven from them. As they enveloped the Course, and everything on it, they multiplied and created an army of moving death headed for the finish line. But, when they arrived, they found the Hunters there waiting for them, and fought tooth and tail in an attempt to climb to the top of the food chain once again.• Adapt and overcome. That is the nature of this Beast. Do you have that written across your DNA as well? Even if you did, you can only go so far by yourself. You need the power of many, the hive mentality; the Team. The power of Ragnarok lies in the Team Trainings. Come to them and become part of the most lethal force in the universe...or be consumed by it.
  10. 10. “ Over here… …Want some candy?” “ I am the Hunter, and you are my game. Your flesh will become my meat. And your skull, my trophy.”• At the top of the intergalactic food-chain sits the Yautja. They are the Predators that prey on all other organisms in the universe. They seek neither destruction nor dominion; they only desire sport fitting enough to be deemed worthy of the effort. With equal amounts of honor and savagery; and mixing technology with brute strength, they dominate all species they encounter. They are the Hunters and everything else is game, trophy, meat, or bait.• The Spartan Beast served as the perfect hunting ground: miles of rough terrain filled with dangerous obstacles and thousands of worthy opponents. So three Unblooded warriors were chosen to descend upon the mountain in an attempt to prove deserving of the Mark. And prove themselves they did, as they raced through the course eviscerating, dismembering, and decapitating everything that once made movement. And the day’s end saw only them crossing the finish line, each towing a string of skulls long enough to honor them.• You weren’t born at the top of the food chain. You’ll have to fight claw over fist to gain that status. And if you want to reach that level, there is only one way to prepare: The Practice Mudders. No matter how much Individual or Team Training you do, without conquering the Practice Mudders you’ll never be at the top of your Game. And if you’re not the best, you’ll be eaten by the best.
  11. 11. “ You have reason not to fear me, …Be you just.” “ But the rotten pieces of your mangled corpse Will stand as warning to others, ….Be you unjust.”• The god of Thunder is not known for his patient demeanor and gentle touch. His power is equaled by his fury, and his might matched by his war-lust. He maintains the balance of things not with tempered and forgiving justice but with harsh punishment and fierce retribution. There is no more fitting term for his wrath than “Beast-Mode.”• There is no Race that can pose challenge to one as formidable as Thor Odinson. No, to be worthy of his effort it must be much more: it must be a trial, a quest, a rite of passage. Only the Death Race is worthy of his entrance. But while other entrants faded and folded under the grueling tasks and time, Mighty Thor neither slowed nor relented. To one who is eternal, 48 hours is but a blink of an eye; and his victory was assured before time ever began.• Are you ready to face the punishment of the Death Race? Unless you are the son of Odin, no matter how ready you think you are, you still have a long way to go. Your first, last, and best hope is through Ragnarok. Our training methodology gives you the tools, but it’s up to you to make sure you’re at the front of the pack at each and every training. Each Individual and Team Training missed is one more nail in your coffin. So, come, earn and wear The Hammer on your chest and fear neither Man nor Beast, nor even Death itself.