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Cohort 2016-02-03 - Coaching

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Handout from the 2016-02-03 New England Cohort Gathering for church planters on the East Coast Conference of the Evangelical Covenant Church.

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Cohort 2016-02-03 - Coaching

  1. 1. Wed February 3, 10:30am - 2:30pm New England Cohort Wed February 17, 12:00pm - 2:00pm NY/NJ Metro Cohort TBD February (video conference) Mid-Atlantic Cohort Welcome! • Our Purpose: “ encourage, equip, and multiply church planters 
 for a sustaining church planting movement” • Open in Prayer Coaching | Intro to the Practice of Christian Coaching Our Working Definition • “Coaching is an on-going intentional conversation that empowers 
 a person or group to fully live out God’s calling.” ~ Keith E. Webb Key Resource (Keith E. Webb, Creator & Author): • The COACH Model for Christian Leaders: Powerful Leadership Skills 
 to Solve Problems, Reach Goals, and Develop Others Four Coaching Assumptions 1. The Holy Spirit speaks directly through many means 2. All people have a holistic calling 3. Coachee-driven results are most relevant 4. Special techniques by coaches improve coachee learning
 Contact & Quick Info | links are clickable in blog post and pdf at www.jasoncondon.com Jason R. Condon Associate Superintendent & Director of Church Planting,
 East Coast Conference of the Evangelical Covenant Church • jasonrcondon@gmail.com • (860) 479-2020 • www.jasoncondon.com 
 (Cohort handouts and resources posted here) • facebook.com/jasoncondon • eastcoastconf.org • covchurch.org
 Quick-Start Guide to ECConf Church Planting • "Understanding Covenant Church Planting" (or www.jasoncondon.com/2015/01/understanding- covenant-church-planting.html) - seminar handout introducing concepts & strategy • "What Are We Looking For in A Church Planter?" 
 (or bit.ly/Qfbiue ) - an overview of what we value in a church planter and his or her ministry • "Church Planter Identification Process" 
 (or bit.ly/TfnyKr) - an overview of how we assess church planters and pursue church planting within the East Coast Conference and the Covenant Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of1 8 Church Planter
 Cohort Gatherings
  2. 2. Spiritual Dynamics in Coaching The Holy Spirit Christian coaches are not a substitute for the Holy Spirit. Sometimes coaches forget. Experience, intuition, and spiritual discernment can tempt coaches to move to conclusions. More important than the coach’s perspective is the Holy Spirit’s perspective and how He’s leading the coachee. All believers have the Holy Spirit, but not all believers hear His voice and know how to respond well. Listening to the Holy Spirit is key to understanding God’s will. The coach’s job is to provoke reflection in the coachee, toward the Holy Spirit. How much do you trust the Holy Spirit to “teach and remind”?
 The Body of Christ Every believer has the Holy Spirit and thus a direct link to God without a human priest mediator. Spiritual discernment is a social, not individualistic, process. God created the Body of Christ as a social setting where His will is made known, interpreted, and applied. A person outside an active role in the Body of Christ cannot fully understand and apply God’s will in his or her life. The Christian coach plays an important role in helping the coachees to think through how they are processing their spiritual discernment with others and how they might involve the appropriate members of the Body of Christ in that process. Coachees mature through their interaction with the Body of Christ. 
 The Transformational Formula There are four key elements 
 that facilitate transformation: 1. Holy Spirit 2. Discovery 3. Action 4. Reinforcement Each is essential to the transformational formula. Transformation rarely happens without all four. Just for fun, let’s write it as a formula: HS × (D + A + R) = T The Holy Spirit (HS) multiplies the sum of 
 Discovery (D), Action (A), & Reinforcement (R), 
 producing Transformation (T). Holy Spirit The Holy Spirit is the ultimate generator of discovery and action. It is the Holy Spirit who brings transformation to the lives of people. The reinforcement of the Holy Spirit through peace, fulfillment, and a lack of panging conscience encourage a person to further transformation. Discovery The coaching process is focused on discovery. Discovery comes in the form of new self-awareness, insights, ideas, learning, attitudes, facts, realizations, etc. The bread and butter of coaching are discovery and action. Action Without action steps coaching is merely a nice conversation. Although encouraging, without action there is no change, no translation of any new discoveries into the life of the coachee. Coaching is about action. Reinforcement As coachees act on their discoveries they get some kind of feedback—a result, a reward, or consequence. This feedback can reinforce or weaken the new behavior of the coachee. The coach must reinforce all actions taken toward the coachee’s desired ends, regardless of the actual results. Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of2 8 “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, 
 whom the Father will send in my name, 
 will teach you all things and will remind 
 you of everything I have said to you.” ~ Jesus (John 14:26) Holy Spirit Coachee Body of Christ
  3. 3. The C.O.A.C.H. Model Following a simple coaching model will help you to coach better. The COACH Model™ has five steps to guide you through a coaching conversation. 1. Connect | Engage the Coachee The first step is to connect with the coachee and build rapport & trust. It’s a human connection between coach and coachee. And it’s a spiritual connection between the Holy Spirit and coachee & coach. The coachee will share a variety of things happening in his or her life. These topics may or may not become topics for the conversation. This information provides a bit of background “color” to the coachee’s state of mind. Example Questions: • How have you been? • What’s God been doing in your life lately? • What insights have you had since our last conversation? A coach will also use this time to follow-up the last conversation’s action steps. Example Questions: • What progress did you make on your action steps? • What did you do on your action steps? 2. Outcome | Determine Convo Goal Find out what the coachee considers to be a valuable topic and for the coaching conversation goal. Through dialogue, the coach and coachee determine how to best use the coaching conversation. This may mean following up on previous topics, or engaging in new ones. Example Questions: • What result would you like to take away from our conversation? • What would you like to work on? • What would make today’s conversation successful? 3. Awareness | Reflective Dialogue Ask questions & practice active listening. Listen beyond coachee’s words. Encourage & give appropriate feedback. Challenge assumptions appropriately. Encourage discovery, insights, commitment, and action through a reflective dialogue. Discovery is the key to this stage. Example Questions: • What are the keys points to understand this situation? • What is your desired outcome in this situation? • What other factors are influencing this situation? • Let’s look at this from a different perspective… (3. Cont’d) Practice all the coaching skills, seeking discovery, and follow up with questions like these: • What else do you think or feel about this? • What would help you move forward? 4. Course | Action Steps This step seeks to capture the insights and put them into actionable steps. Coach and coachee will continue a reflective dialogue, but this time focused towards a course of action. The result will be clear action steps the coachee will do before the next coaching conversation. Try for 2-3 action steps for each coaching topic. Example Questions: • What actions would you like to do to move forward? • What options do you have? • Which of options would you like to do? How? When? • On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 high) how confident are you that you can do this plan? 
 (If 7 or below go back and work on the plan.) 5. Highlights | Learning & Action Steps Ask the coachee to review their learning, insights, and what they found helpful. This review helps the coachee to deepen their learning, and helps the coach know what the coachee found valuable. Also, ask the coachee to repeat their action steps. Example Questions: • What would you like to remember from this time? • What parts of discussion were particularly helpful? • What awareness do you have that you didn’t before? • What are your action steps? Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of3 8
  4. 4. Determining the Convo Outcome The topics in coaching conversations usually come from the coachee. There are Two parts to the Outcome: 1. understanding the topic 2. measurable goal for topic Example: two volunteers read aloud… • Coach: “What result would you like to take away from our conversation?” • Coachee: “I want to grow in my relationship with my spouse.” • C: That’s a big topic! What part would you like to talk about to move you forward this week? • “I want the relationship we had when we were first married.” • C: Could you give me a specific example of that kind of relationship? • “Sure. Everything was new and fresh. We had time for each other and it was exciting to spend time together. It just doesn’t feel like that anymore. It seems like all we do is focused on the kids or doing work around the house.” • C: In a nutshell, what’s the outcome you want? • “I want time together with my spouse that’s focused on just us.” • C: How much ‘us’ time would you like? • “A couple times over the next week would be great.” • Coach: So, you’d like to think through and create a couple of ‘us’ times for you and your spouse over the next week? • Coachee: “That would be great.” Instructions: • In Pairs: Rotate Roles between Coach & Coachee • 5min each: 4min coaching + 1min debrief Step 1 Outcome questions Ask the coachee what they want the outcome of the conversation to be. • What result would you like to take away from our conversation? Step 2 Use questions to explore, clarify, and focus the coachee’s topic/problem/goal. This step can be the source of much discovery and relief for an overwhelmed coachee. Exploring questions • What in particular about that is important to you? • What would achieving that do for you? For others? • Let’s back up a minute, what’s the bigger issue behind this situation/problem? Clarifying questions • What do you mean by ______________ ? • Could you give an example of ______________ ? • What would ____ look like if you could become that? Focusing questions • That’s a big topic, what part of that would you like to focus on today? • What aspect of that problem would you like to work on right now? • What part of this would be most immediately helpful to you to address this week? Step 3 Test your understanding of the outcome by restating it to the coachee, or asking the coachee to restate it. Confirming Questions • Just to check my understanding, today you’d like to work on ______________. Is that right? • Just so we’re clear, would you please restate what you’d like to work on today? • So, is that what you’d like to focus our conversation on today? Write Your Outcome My desired conversation outcome: Debrief • What struck you while doing this activity? • Who had a different experience? • What conclusions can you draw from this activity? Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of4 8
  5. 5. Powerful Questions Powerful questions are those that reveal information for the benefit of the coachee. (Not the asker.) • Asking based on active listening 
 and the coachee’s agenda. • Asking forward moving, 
 not backwards looking questions. • Asking questions that stimulate clarity, 
 discovery, insight, and action - not correction. Towards Powerful Questions Compare the following questions. 1. Are you happy with your ministry? 2. How do you feel about your ministry? 3. What about your ministry do you find most satisfying? 4. How does your ministry connect to 
 God’s calling in your life? 5. Why might it be that God directed you 
 to this ministry? Active Listening Techniques that communicate, 
 “I’m listening”… Verbal • Vocal responses: “Umm hum,” 
 “Yes,” “I see,” “Continue,” etc. • Restating what the other person said, 
 “So, you are saying that…” • Clarifying the other person’s meaning, 
 “Would you give an example of…” Non-Verbal • Facing the other person. • Keeping comfortable eye contact. • Nodding in agreement. • Avoiding distracting behaviors such as looking at a text message and interrupting. The 80/20 Rule In coaching, the focus of the conversation is on the coachee. They set the agenda, they talk the most, and they create their own action plans. The coachee talks and the coach listens 80% of the time. Listening is of great value to the coachee and a wonderful gift to give. How to Listen Better Listening is a skill. You can learn how to listen better. 1. Listen with your Mind • Give the coachee your attention • Try to enter into their frame of reference, their world • Focus on what’s behind their words • Don’t let your mind wander 2. Listen with your Body “…when there is a discrepancy between verbal and non- verbal signals, people pay more attention to the latter.”
 ~ Zeus & Skiffington • Do you sound interested? • Do you have the proper amount of eye contact? • Do your arms, hands, posture say, “I’m interested”? • Your non-verbal will be “seen” even over the phone • What are the coachee’s non-verbal signals communicating to you? • Check your assumptions about the non-verbal with the coachee 3. Listen with your Words • Paraphrase what the coachee said • Ask clarifying questions, if needed • Don’t finish sentences or provide missing words • Don’t give advice or solutions while they are talking • Summarize main points 4. Listen with your Intuition • Listen for the meaning behind the words, gestures, and body language • What is the coachee not saying? • Test your intuition with clarifying questions 5. Listen with the Holy Spirit • Use spiritual discernment. • If you hear from the Holy Spirit, then ask, Should I share this with the coachee? And When should I communicate this? • How can you share this in a way to enable the discovery process? Thinking About it… • Mark the ways of listening that are natural to you • Mark the ways of listening that you want to work on Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of5 8
  6. 6. Opening Up Questions Closed questions can easily be turned into open questions. Use What, How, When, Where, & Who questions. Example: • Closed: Are you planning to borrow the $ to do that? • Open: What are your plans to finance that? Instructions: • you’ll stand up and mingle around the room • verbally change the closed questions into an open question and say the open question to someone else • If other person agrees that it is now an open question, they’ll initial next to the original closed question • do one or two with one person, then move on 
 Q360 Asking questions from many different angles can help broaden the coachee’s perspective and increase insights. 1. Begin with a summary 2. followed by a question from the new angle. Start Here: Background • Explain the situation. • Step back for a moment, what are underlying issues? Pick “New Angle” Question (in Any Order): Interpersonal • What are the relational dynamics in this situation? • What “people work” needs to be done to move forward? Bible • What guidance could you receive from the Bible? • How might you apply that? Inner Change • What changes need to be made in you? • How would you describe yourself with the changes in effect? Result • What result would you like to have from this situation? • What would achieving that do for you? Spiritual • From a spiritual perspective, what do you see? • What spiritual solutions might be helpful? Cultural • In what ways might culture be involved? • What are normal cultural ways of handling this? Systemic • What other factors are influencing this situation? • How can you use these factors to move forward? End Here: Strategy • What are the first steps to work on this? • What parts give you energy?
 Debrief • What was your experience with this exercise? • How did using angles help? • What are other angles to coach from? Questions to Open Up Initials 1. Are you happy about this decision? 2. Does your supervisor agree? 3. Can you think of any other ideas? 4. Do you learn from books 
 or by talking to people? 5. Is it time for you to make a career move? 6. Is there anything else you’d like to say 
 about this topic? 7. Would Tuesday be a good time to talk? 8. Are you living out your vision? 9. Does your spouse think the same way? 10. Are you going to ask him? 11. Could someone on your team help? 12. Did you raise your support? 13. Did you have a nice day at school? 14. Is church planting your main thing? 15. Is casting vision next step for the team? Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of6 8 “After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.” ~ Luke 2:46-47
  7. 7. Group Practice | Coaching Triads Instructions: 1. Triads: get into groups of three (3) 2. Rotate Roles: • 10min each × 3 rounds 
 (8min coaching + 2min observation feedback) • Switch between Coach, Coachee, & Observer 3. Coach: is responsible to… • use good active listening skills 
 (verbal and non-verbal) • and ask at least three (3) open questions. • Start by saying, “What result would you like to take away from our conversation today?” Observer Notes: 4. Coachee: • state your simple conversation goal:
 • respond to coaches questions and prompts 5. Observer: jot notes below and give one (1) minute of feedback on these points: • What verbal active listening behaviors did coach use? What nonverbal ones? • How many open questions were used? • What other question types did the coach use? (make best guess! - 7 Q Types explained in much longer training are: 1. closed, 2. open, 3. directive, 4. emotion, 5. facts, 6. why, & 7. permission, can also note “New Angle” Questions) Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of7 8 Person Observed Verbal Listening Nonverbal Listening # of Open Questions Types of Questions & Angles Example:
 Chuck Planter “mm-hm” Restated a Q. Asked for example nodded head leaned in moved chair closer 4 2 closed questions (but fixed :) emotion: “how do you feel…” fact: “how many small group leaders…” Angles: Spiritual, Culture, Relationships Group Debrief and Q&A Coaches • What did you do well? • What could you improve? • How could you do that differently next time? Observers: • What did you learn from observing? Coachee • What was your experience? Goals & Work for Next Time: (this will only be a smaller portion of our gathering) 1. To-Do: Everyone Bring a Conversation Goal 2. Practice: Guided Practice on fuller COACH Model using real-life conversation outcome goal 3. Trial Triads: during gathering, determine “beta version” of Coaching Triads for summer trial run
  8. 8. NOW: Schedule Coaching Calls • visit meetme.so/jasoncondon for 45-60 min slot in Feb (2 days available or request others) MARCH Pre-COMS (Committee on Ministerial Standing) • Due March 1: Paperwork Deadline • (Interview Dates scheduled April 12-13) Church Planter Training Intensives | Minneapolis • Wed March 9, 6pm – Mon March 14, 12pm
 (Fall: Wed Sept 14, 6pm – Sun Sept 19, 12pm) • Invitation Only for new Cov. Church Planters that received “Recommend” at AC, still pre-Launch Church Planter Cohort Gatherings: • Mid-Atlantic Cohort (TBD) • NY/NJ Metro Cohort (usually 3rd Weds)
 Wed March 16, 12:00pm-2:00pm • Greater Boston/New England Cohort
 Wed March 30, 10:30am-2:30pm APRIL COMS Interviews | Berlin CT • Due March 1: Paperwork Deadline • Tue April 12 – Wed April 13 (with participants only scheduled on-site for approx. 2 hours) • Committee on Ministerial Standing (COMS) is necessary for entering credentialing process, 3 year check-ins, care issues, & final-prep for Ordination ECConf Annual Meeting | New Rochelle, NY • All Church Planters expected to attend • Thu April 28 – Fri Lunch April 29: ECConf Ministerial Association. Thu: Continuing Ed and Evening Worship. Fri Morning: Business Meeting • Fri Afternoon – Sat Lunch April 30: 
 ECConf Annual Meeting for Delegates & Pastors Assessment Center | Chicago • Tue April 12, 11am – Thu April 14, 11am
 (Fall: Tue Oct 18, 11am – Thu Oct 20, 11am) • Invitation Only for Church Planter Candidates sufficiently advancing in assessment process. Should be engaged in Assessment Process for at least six months to be considered for an invite MAY Urban Church Planters Conference | NYC • Tue May 17, 7:30pm – Thu May 19, 12:30pm • a 3-day gathering in NYC for urban church planters and pastors - many of whom will be from the Covenant (check website for the Cov All-Star lineup!) • An ECConf & Covenant "Destination Event": • Full Scholarships for all ECConf Planters • Mike Brown is bringing a large NWConf group, with other Covenant Planters likely as well • REGISTER NOW with Group Rate of $129 
 at www.newcitygathering.org
 (reimbursement details will be emailed) JUNE Church Planter Cohort Gatherings: • Need to Schedule. Available Dates: 
 Wed June 3, Thu June 4, Wed June 10, Thu June 11 Covenant Annual Meeting | Phoenix • Thu June 23 – Sat June 25 • www.covchurch.org/gather JULY & AUGUST Pilgrim Pines Summer Season | Swanzey NH • June 29 – Aug 13: Camp Squanto Youth Camp • July 2 – Aug 19: Mayflower Family Camp • pilgrimpines.org Church Planter Cohort Gatherings | New England • NY/NJ • Mid-Atlantic Feb 2016 | page of8 8 Full Calendar for East Coast Conference • Visit www.eastcoastconf.org/calendar • Subscribe through Google Cal, iCal, or other app Entries labeled “Church Planting” are specifically for church planters, rest for ECC pastors in general Coming Events | subscribe now at eastcoastconf.org/calendar

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