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The Power of Your Story


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The Power of Your Story

  1. 1. 206-478-7173 * * Managing Dynamics Our Logo: The Sand represents dynamic life changes. The Stone represents strength and courage under all circumstances The Leaf represents the energy of new beginnings and potential The Power of Your Story Janaki Severy Seattle, Washington
  2. 2. Managing Dynamics In the beginningIn the beginning we had language andwe had language and we began to share life…we began to share life…
  3. 3. Managing DynamicsStories Began with DesiresStories Began with Desires to Connect…to Connect…
  4. 4. Managing Dynamics What is a Story?What is a Story? Random House: meaning of “Story” 1. Written/spoken account of something that has happened. 2. Fictitious tale shorter than a novel. 3. Plot of a novel or drama
  5. 5. Managing Dynamics The story was the bushman’s most sacred possession. They knew what we do not; that without a story you have not got a nation, or culture, or civilization. Without a story of your own, you haven’t got a life of your own. Laurens Van der Post Stories are Sacred
  6. 6. Managing Dynamics Human Beings Always Tell Stories Story telling allows us….  to share our experience in narrative form  to construct meaning about life challenges  to build armor protecting us from adversity  to express our fears, beliefs and heroism  to teach values and unwritten rules  to explain life and how the world works
  7. 7. Managing Dynamics Stories areStories are Shaped and ConstructedShaped and Constructed 77  Nature-Nurture  Timing –Values  Finance-Fear  Health-Intelligence  Gender-Siblings  Looks-Popularity
  8. 8. Managing Dynamics Who Told You Stories?  Family Love you and teach you their world  Friends Influence you to be in their tribe and be like them  Culture Keep your culture and history alive  School Teach how to learn and how to fit in  Religion Teach about God  Work Train us “their way” Who did you dream to be?
  9. 9. Managing Dynamics How “Your” Stories Started Imagination is Powerful… What kind of stories did you hear? What did you believe? What stories became your stories? What stories have you released? What stories would you like to change?
  10. 10. Managing Dynamics Your Stories Need a Voice Who listened to Your Stories?  When were you heard?  How did you know they heard you?  Did they tell your stories back to you?  How did that impact your story?  What story did you bring today?  Is it time to give your story voice?
  11. 11. Managing Dynamics
  12. 12. Managing Dynamics Things that affect how we create our stories…
  13. 13. Managing Dynamics Your Brain is aYour Brain is a Survival SentinelSurvival Sentinel We pay 80.000 times more attention to danger(real or imagined) and what could place us at risk than to what is good This helps us avoid conflict and stay alive Fear is a survival mechanism False Evidence Appearing Real Evil Eye
  14. 14. Managing Dynamics Perceptions CreatePerceptions Create RealityReality  Billions of sensory impulses come your way every moment  As you grow, you selectively filter out the vast majority of impulses and only allow a fraction into your awareness  What you allow is determined by your habitual patterns of seeing and interpreting the world Reality is flexible. It is made of selective acts of attention and interpretation
  15. 15. Managing Dynamics Change Your PerceptionsChange Your Perceptions ……  Your attention and interpretations createYour attention and interpretations create what you see, ultimately determiningwhat you see, ultimately determining your beliefsyour beliefs  A belief is simply an interpretation youA belief is simply an interpretation you hold to be truehold to be true  New ideas expand awareness, enhanceNew ideas expand awareness, enhance life and challenge those beliefslife and challenge those beliefs  Embracing new ideas can change yourEmbracing new ideas can change your beliefs about yourself and as a result,beliefs about yourself and as a result, change your storychange your story
  16. 16. Managing Dynamics Biology of BeliefBiology of Belief by Bruceby Bruce LiptonLipton Genes and DNA do not control our biology DNA controlled by signals outside the cell DNA responds to energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts. Dr. Lipton’s profound synthesis of cell biology and quantum physics is a major breakthrough showing that our bodies can be changed as we retrain our thinking.
  17. 17. Managing Dynamics 1.. Brains consist of interconnected nerve and glial cells 2. Brain’s change as a result of life experience 2. Brains are 'plastic' and 'malleable‘ with learning 3. Learning changes brain connection strength by adding or removing connections, or adding cells Neuroplasticity (cortical remapping) Experience changes brain structure and organization “Neurons that fire together, wire together"/"neurons that fire apart, wire apart."
  18. 18. Managing Dynamics Looking Glass SelfLooking Glass Self We shape our sense of self by what other people see and say and we accept what they see as true and become it. .
  19. 19. Managing Dynamics Pygmalion Affect-Pygmalion Affect- OriginOrigin Pygmalion, a Cypriot sculptor who falls so deeply in love with a statue he carved it comes to life. 1.Our expectations of people or events are formed 2.We communicate our expectations through cues 3.People respond to our cues, by matching their behavior to those cues 4.Our original expectation becomes true
  20. 20. Managing Dynamics Pygmalion EffectPygmalion Effect The higher the expectation the better they perform. Those for whom others have… Poor expectations internalize their negative label Positive expectations internalize their positive label A snobbish phonetics professor wagers he can take a flower girl and make her presentable in high society. When given information certain students had higher IQs school teachers unconsciously behave in ways that facilitate and encourage students' success
  21. 21. Managing Dynamics Mirror NeuronsMirror Neurons A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires “both when a person acts” and “when a person observes the same actions from another”. They help us learn by observing the actions of others and practicing it in our brain…Imitating is a mirror neuron action
  22. 22. Managing Dynamics Story Busting: Ways to Change Your Story
  23. 23. Managing Dynamics Einstein Says…Einstein Says… The physical body, like all material objects is an illusion, and trying to manipulate it can be like grasping the shadow and missing the substance. The unseen world is the real world, and when we are willing to explore the unseen levels of our bodies, we can tap in to the immense creative power that lies at our source.
  24. 24. Managing Dynamics Live ConsciouslyLive Consciously We must do our personal work first We must be present and aware of our own fears, frustrations, hopes and dreams We must make powerful choices of the stories we want to live When we are present and intentional, and live in the now we access our power.
  25. 25. Managing Dynamics Stories and YouStories and You You have power over the stories woven into your lives: to retell them, rethink them, deconstruct them, joke about them, and change them as times change, because you can think new thoughts and create new stories Clay Sculpture- Story Teller under Sunny Skies
  26. 26. Managing Dynamics Challenge Your Story!!!  Old and useless stories harm your spirit  Unaddressed negativity leads to inaction  Negativity in our bodies make us sick  Your body and brain are can change  Decide to take a step…baby steps work! If you keep telling the same sad small story, you will keep living the same sad small life. —Jean Houston There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you. —Maya Angelou
  27. 27. Managing Dynamics The Opportunity….  unlearn damaging thoughts  unlearn validation from others for our worth  unlearn self statements that are “not useful”  unlearn actions incongruent with your preferred story We must believe we are powerful enough to change our stories and our lives…
  28. 28. Managing Dynamics Rotate The Entry Point  Give up old thinking that is not useful  Seek new information  Avoid dead-end thoughts and beliefs  See information from a new perspective  Use lateral thinking skills
  29. 29. Managing Dynamics Use Lateral Thinking 1. Stay flexible (reframe words/labels) 2. Do not get hooked by old meanings/interpretations 3. Be willing to not be right 4. Be willing to restructure your thinking with new information 5. Generate unique interpretations for what you hear 6. Avoid self and other labeling
  30. 30. Managing Dynamics Stuck in Your Reality? - Ask for Help ! ….the belief that one’s own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions. Paul Watzlawik How Real is Real? Find one or two persons you trust to help you Bust your Stories….
  31. 31. Managing Dynamics Reframing: Change TheReframing: Change The Meaning –Change the StoryMeaning –Change the Story  The meaning any story has depends on theThe meaning any story has depends on the “Frame” in which it is perceived.“Frame” in which it is perceived.  Are there “Frames” you could change to createAre there “Frames” you could change to create the stories you want?the stories you want?
  32. 32. Managing Dynamics Reframing: Two LevelsReframing: Two Levels  Internal Reframing:Internal Reframing: What thoughts about yourselfWhat thoughts about yourself could you reframe in order to generate new beliefscould you reframe in order to generate new beliefs about yourself and change your story?about yourself and change your story?  External Reframing:External Reframing: What things could you say orWhat things could you say or do to change another’s perceptions or belief aboutdo to change another’s perceptions or belief about you ?you ? 3232
  33. 33. Managing Dynamics Explorations of Your StoryExplorations of Your Story  What do you want?  What will you see, hear and feel when your story is active?  How does it feel when you imagine it?  What attitudes preserve your story?  How will you keep your story alive? Find a partner and share your experiences referring to the specifics above.
  34. 34. Managing Dynamics Creating Your Story How to create the story you want. a) Select a story you want to change. b) Create a willingness and desire to change c) Create clear affirmation statement. d) Remember previous feelings of success. e) Generate those feeling about the new story F) Feel certainty about your new outcome
  35. 35. Managing Dynamics Act as If….Act as If….  Whatever image you can create and embellish can become real.  Moment to moment from the time of your creation forward you must behave or “Act as if” you are already living and expressing that vision.  Deepen the vision through all of your senses and breathe it into your reality.
  36. 36. Managing Dynamics Manifesting IntentionManifesting Intention  Know the story is changing  Give up designing the details  Trust it is happening  Create an emotional connection  Feel positive emotions  Believe it!
  37. 37. Managing Dynamics “Try? There is no try. There is only do or not do." Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back