Advice on Adding More Power<br />I don’t want a passive voice.  I want an active one…Help!!<br />
Delete repeated Words<br />Wordy:  The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such a...
Substituting a Pronoun<br />Wordy:  Agatha Christie’s Miss Marplehas solved many difficult cases.  The Murder at the Vicar...
Using Elliptical Clauses<br />Wordy:  Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston; the White House is a popula...
Creating Appositives<br />Wordy:  Red Barber was a sportscaster.  He was known for his colorful expressions.<br />Concise:...
Creating Compounds<br />Wordy:  Huckleberry Finn is an adventure story.  It is also a sad account of an abused, neglected ...
Creating Complex Sentences<br />Wordy:  Americans value freedom of speech.  Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First A...
Eliminating Passive Constructions<br />Excessive use of the passive voice can make sentences ramble.  You can change this ...
Wordy:  “Buy American” rallies are being organized by concerned Americans who hope that jobs can be saved by such gatherin...
Eliminating Wordy Prepositional Phrases<br />When you revise, substitute adjectives or adverbs for wordy prepositional phr...
Vigorous writing is concise.  A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no powerless sentences…<br />Rev...
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Adding more power

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Help on creating effective sentences

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Adding more power

  1. 1. Advice on Adding More Power<br />I don’t want a passive voice. I want an active one…Help!!<br />
  2. 2. Delete repeated Words<br />Wordy: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as the disease known as Reye’s syndrome.<br />Concise: The childhood disease chicken pox occasionally leads to dangerous complications, such as Reye’s syndrome.<br />
  3. 3. Substituting a Pronoun<br />Wordy: Agatha Christie’s Miss Marplehas solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of Miss Marple’smost challenging cases.<br />Concise: Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple has solved many difficult cases. The Murder at the Vicarage was one of her most challenging cases.<br />
  4. 4. Using Elliptical Clauses<br />Wordy: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston; the White House is a popular tourist attraction in Washington, DC<br />Concise: Quincy Market is a popular tourist attraction in Boston: the White House, in Washington, DC.<br />
  5. 5. Creating Appositives<br />Wordy: Red Barber was a sportscaster. He was known for his colorful expressions.<br />Concise: Red Barber, a sportscaster, was known for his colorful expressions.<br />
  6. 6. Creating Compounds<br />Wordy: Huckleberry Finn is an adventure story. It is also a sad account of an abused, neglected child.<br />Concise: Huckleberry Finn is both an adventure story and a sad account of an abused, neglected child. <br />
  7. 7. Creating Complex Sentences<br />Wordy: Americans value freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First Amendment.<br />Concise: Americans value freedom of speech, which is guaranteed by the First Amendment.<br />
  8. 8. Eliminating Passive Constructions<br />Excessive use of the passive voice can make sentences ramble. You can change this problem by changing passive to active voice..<br />
  9. 9. Wordy: “Buy American” rallies are being organized by concerned Americans who hope that jobs can be saved by such gatherings.<br />Concise: Concerned Americans are organizing “Buy American” rallies, hoping that such gatherings can save jobs.<br />
  10. 10. Eliminating Wordy Prepositional Phrases<br />When you revise, substitute adjectives or adverbs for wordy prepositional phrases..<br />Wordy: The trip was one of danger but also one of excitement.<br />Concise: The trip was dangerous but exciting.<br />
  11. 11. Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no powerless sentences…<br />Revise for power.<br />Push for an active voice, not a passive one.<br />

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