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The Butterfly Emerges Self-coaching session 2


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This is a self guided session that will help you develop the skills needed to find your confidence in Christ by changing the way you think and talk. It goes hand-in-hand with The Butterfly Emerges Workbook, Finding Your Confidence in Christ that can be purchased at

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The Butterfly Emerges Self-coaching session 2

  1. 1. Presentation by I M CONFIDENT Niagara Canada Created 2018 by Brenda Silveira THE BUTTERFLY EMERGES SELF-COACHING SESSION Part 2 – Planting Positive Seeds
  2. 2. ABOUT THIS PROGRAM This is a self-led coaching session that is based on actual confidence coaching sessions and information contained in The Caterpillar to Butterfly Self-Esteem Workbook. Use them together build your knowledge base and give you the tools that are needed to build your confidence and increase your self-esteem. They will help keep you motivated and encourage you to move forward in life. Please note that our visual presentations and printed information are not intended to replace any professional help you may be receiving. Use them in conjunction with your current services and/or programs. If you are feeling overwhelmed by life situations or feel that this information is not helping you properly, please contact your health professional for assistance. YOUR LIFE IS VALUABLE!
  3. 3. WHAT IS PLANTED IN YOUR GARDEN OF LIFE? Is it a beautiful garden….. or one that is full of weeds? Our own personal garden was planted the day we were born and as we grew, our parents and other people around us starting planting positive and negative seeds in our garden. These have shaped us into the person we are today. In order to make positive changes we need to understand what is planted in our garden. Let’s take a deeper look.  READ PAGES 26 - 27
  4. 4. DOES SELF-ESTEEM GROW IN YOUR GARDEN? When seeds are planted in fertile soil and cared for on a continuous basis, they will grown and thrive. The same goes for children. If proper care has been taken throughout our childhood, teen years and right into our early adulthood, we will continue to grown and be fruitful.  READ PAGES 28 - 29
  5. 5. WHAT SEEDS ARE PLANTED IN YOUR GARDEN? Positive seeds Positive thoughts Positive words & actions Positive results create Negative seeds Negative thoughts Negative words & actions Negative results
  6. 6. WHAT KIND OF ROLE MODEL ARE YOU? • Do you model love or hate? • Do you model patience or anger? • Do you model kindness or cruelty? • Do you model honesty or dishonesty? We influence everyone around us with our behaviour and so we need to be careful with our words and actions. Are you a positive role model or a negative role model?
  7. 7. READ PROVERBS 22:6 This verse tells us that we should train a child in the way of the Lord so he/she will have a solid foundation to grow from. Parenting is a difficult job because all children are different but when they learn to love God from our example, it will stay fixed in their heart.
  8. 8. DID YOU KNOW THAT SOMEONE IS WATCHING YOU! Children are always watching the people around them. They see the good and the bad. If we don’t guide them towards the good and the positive they will become selfish, negative, insecure adults.  READ PAGE 30 and do the exercise
  9. 9. READ ISAIAH 64:8 We are like lumps of clay that God has molded into a work of art. He keeps shaping us and taking out all the bumps and cracks until we become the person of God that He created us to be. If we surrender ourselves completely to Him, we will become a masterpiece created by the Master!
  10. 10. WORDS ARE POWERFUL “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This statement is not true at all! Words can do a lot of damage but they can also do a lot of good. They can: Start wars or stop wars Heal or hurt Uplift or tear down We need to be very careful when speaking because once something is said, it can’t be taken back. Think about the words you use. Are they helping or hurting?
  11. 11. WISE WORDS!!!
  12. 12. WATERING YOUR GARDEN Water is a basic need for all living things. People have basic needs of:  Food & water  Shelter & clothing  Security Can you think of something else that is an important basic need?  READ PAGE 31 AND DO THE EXERCISE
  13. 13. READ PSALM 63:1 In this world of trouble and turmoil, we are often thirsty for something and we are not sure what we are even looking for. If we turn to God in difficult times through prayer and studying scripture, we will find satisfaction and our thirst will be quenched.
  14. 14. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HUMANS DON’T GET THE EMOTIONAL NUTRITION THEY NEED? bitterness resentment insecurities
  15. 15. CREATE A POSITIVE THOUGHTS JAR One great activity that will help you focus on creating positive thoughts is making your own positive thoughts jar. Find a big jar or container, decorate it and name it whatever you want. Cut some slips of paper and every day write down at least 3 positive thoughts and put them in the jar. When you are feeling discouraged or need a lift, dump out the container and read each positive thought as you put it back in the jar. This will reinforce your positive thinking.
  16. 16. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TEASED OR BULLIED? Teasing is just a mild form of bullying but it can hurt just as much if you are very sensitive. Bullying is wrong and we should never let other people hurt us because they are in pain.  READ PAGE 32 AND DO THE EXERCISE
  17. 17. WE ARE CREATURES OF HABIT Did you ever stop to think about how many things we do each day because we have developed a habit?  Getting dressed  Daily showering and good hygiene  Eating  Driving  Exercising and staying fit  Cleaning, organizing Many of our habits are good but we all have bad habits that we should try to change. Let’s take a look at some of these.
  18. 18. SOME BAD HABITS Some of our habits are just annoying but they can irritate other people. Do you have any of these?  Nail biting, tapping fingers, cracking knuckles, tapping  Chewing gum, chewing food with mouth open, slurping soup  Whining, complaining, criticizing  Fidgeting, thumb sucking  Procrastination, gossiping
  19. 19. HABITS CAN BECOME ADDICTIONS Once you lose control over your habits, they become addictions. These can include:  Chemical addictions  Behavioural addictions  Emotional addictions These should be addressed as they can be very destructive to yourself and everyone around you.
  20. 20. CHEMICAL ADDICTIONS Chemical addictions include: Smoking Drinking Illegal drug use Prescription drug abuse
  21. 21. BEHAVIOURAL ADDICTIONS These are also very destructive and should be addressed:  Drinking too much caffeine  Continuous use of TV, computers, internet, video games  Excessive gambling  Over-working, over-exercising  Compulsive shopping  Sexual obsession, pornography  Eating disorders, cutting
  22. 22. EMOTIONAL ADDICTIONS Many people struggle with emotional addictions and aren’t even aware of it. ALL addictions can be overcome with proper help and continuous support.  Anger, revenge  Self-pity  Self-hatred  Guilt, fear  Approval from others  Grief  Depression, anxiety  Jealousy, envy
  23. 23. READ JEREMIAH 26:13 God asks us to amend our ways and listen to His voice. He can give us the strength we need to overcome any of our bad habits or addictions. Pray for God to walk alongside you and guide you in the right direction.
  24. 24. GOOD HABITS BUILD CONFIDENCE Bad habits create problems but good habits build confidence. We need to be aware of what changes need to be made and work hard to replace any bad, negative habits with good, positive habits.  READ PAGE 33 -34 AND DO THE EXERCISE
  25. 25. POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE FUEL On page 31 we talked about our emotional tank. It is important that we keep ourselves filled with positive fuel so we can stay confident and also so we can fill others with positive fuel to motivate them and keep them going.  READ PAGES 35 - 36 AND DO THE EXERCISE
  26. 26. READ JOHN 15:2 Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. If we work with Him to build confidence and change our bad habits, He will help us get rid of anything that is harming our lives. However, if we don’t have any desire to change from our evil ways, we will be separated from God.
  27. 27. FILLING YOUR EMOTIONAL TANK If you could visually see what emotions are in your emotional tank, it would really help you focus on being more positive. Here is an activity that I have used many times and it works! Find a container (basket, jar, dish) and label it My Emotional Tank. Then gather some beads or buttons. When someone says/does something to make you feel good, put 1 bead/button in the container. If you feel really good, put a few in the container. When someone says or does something to make you feel bad, take out 1 or more beads or buttons from the container. Then you can see how much positive and negative fuel your emotional tank is getting. You can also use this to show people how much positive and negative fuel they are filling you up with. If your Emotional Tank looks like the one on the top right, some serious work needs to be done! It should look like the one on the bottom right. MY EMOTIONAL TANK MY EMOTIONAL TANK
  28. 28. POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE SELF- TALK Do you talk to yourself in a negative way? Many people are stuck in this bad habit and don’t realize how badly it is their lives. Creating a habit of positive self-talk can literally change your life!!  READ PAGE 37 - 38 AND DO THE EXERCISE
  29. 29. WHERE DO YOUR BAD HABITS COME FROM? Habits are often passed on from generation to generation. Did yours originate from your childhood? Habits are also learned from people we spend most of our time with, like a spouse or friend. Did your bad habits develop in a negative or abusive relationship? Habits can also be learned from being over- immersed in the media. Do you spend long hours watching programs that show unrealistic situations and ads that are created created to make you feel bad? Once you determine where these bad habits come from, you can look at life from a different perspective and take steps to make positive changes.
  30. 30. A PRACTICE ACTIVITY Avoiding negative people is absolutely impossible. Always be prepared when confronted with negativity. Respond in a positive way. Here are some statements that you can practice in front of a mirror or find someone to practice with. Create more of your own. “No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a worthwhile person and I will NOT allow you to hurt me.” “It is too bad you feel that way but I am a worthwhile person and you do NOT have the right to hurt me.” “It doesn’t matter what you say to me, I am God’s child and He loves me.”
  31. 31. CONTINUOUS CARE All living things need continuous care if they are to grow and flourish. No matter how confident we become, we still need love and support on an ongoing basis. Volunteering is one of the best ways to spread love around and it will also provide numerous benefits to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. There are so many people that need support and we can be the person who provides them with what they need.  READ PAGE 39
  32. 32. READ GALATIONS 6:2 In this verse, God is telling us to help others. There are so many people today suffering due to poor health, financial issues and relationship problems. When we see someone struggling alone, we should reach out and offer help. Just a few kinds words can really lift someone up.
  33. 33. WHAT IS IN YOUR GARDEN? If you were a garden, which of these pictures would you look more like? The beautiful flower or the ugly weed? Most of us are some of both but we should work hard to become more beautiful in our words and actions.  READ PAGE 40 AND DO THE EXERCISE.