Creative lying in your neighbourhood workshop

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Creative lying in your neighbourhood workshop

  1. 1. The actual workshop1. Place names:Douglas Adams Meaning of Lif: what do place names actually mean: enfield, In fieldTottenham - in the eighteenth century, they used to roll children - tots in ham to keep them warm.2. Visit Wetherspoons. If you want to find out about local history, go to your local Wetherspoons(if youre allowed in). Lots of info on the walls & pictures too. If youre not old enough, youveheard of this new website, quite useful, called Wikipedia.And read local history books in the library. If you think thats quite boring, just get the books outthat talk about all the murders that have happened in the area, cos everybody loves a good murder.3. Signs you dont know the meaning of -Archway tower, office of the court of protection, I took that to mean they protected children, andexpanded it to mean children whod been taken away form their parents, then said they were kept onthe top three floors of Archway tower and you could sometimes hear their lonely, anguished moanscarried on the wind as they called for their parents. (Thats why Fathers4Justice members dress asSpiderman - theyre trying to climb up the tower to see their kids).4. McDonalds on McDonald Road Archway - saying that it was the site of the first McDonalds andit was named after the street, and tat McDonalds was a local success story.5. Interacting with environment - near statue of Dick Whittingtons cat on Archway Rd there was alittle plaque about Dick Whittington, thrice Lord Mayor of London - he was actually 4 x LordMayor of London so I put post-it notes on it reading Citation needed and This article is a stub.6. Take them somewhere hidden - Like on the MisGuided tour of Kings Cross, not the mostbeautiful place you might imagine, theres actually a tiny church which dates back to the 14thcentury, with a tree in the courtyard round which all of the graves in the churchyard were moved bynone other than Victorian novelist Thomas Hardy, who worked on the railways before he became awriter.5. Read Iain Sinclair - with two Is - I mean, his names spelt with two eyes, I was assuming youwouldnt be reading him with an eyepatch on. Great books full of local history and stories whichmay or may not be true. Used to call it psychogeography, but he doesnt like the term now.6. Break out into song? Why cant life be a musical? Watch I sang a song about Archway marketand all the great things on sale there and confused all the shop owners. Or outside Hornsey townhall we sang the harringey national anthem, everyone mustve thought we were an awful cult. Whynot write a song about your local area?7. Attribute things to shady government conspiracies, the Masons, Knights Templar, Illuminati etc.Maybe theres a pet shop where Davdi Cameron was born?8. Tie your lies into real events to make them more credible, like the Civil war in Crouch End beinga direct result of the Local Government act 1965, in which local councils were reorganised andconsolidated. And then when you talk about how students took over the local art college in 1968,they dont know whether to belive you or not. So the truth becomes fictionalised...Or just say it was1968...
  2. 2. Talking about the film Somers Town on the Kings Cross MisGuided tour when we went throughSomers Town, at the back of Kings Cross station, and saying that the film was so popular that thelocal park was going to be renamed Shane Meadows after its director, Shane Meadows. LOOKOUT FOR AWFUL WORDPLAY!10. Take an existing local legend - like in Crouch End, Bob Dylan turning up at a plumber calledDaves house when he was after Dave Stewart out of the band the Eurythmics - and expand it, likeBob Dylan ended up having an affair with his wife.11. Or crazy left-wing councils who spend massive amounts on public art - like there was a puddleand I said it was a piece of public art that the arts council had pay £50, 000 for. Or the etching in thewindow here in Crouch End, did you know that in 2006 they caught a lad whod been scratching histag with a knife into railway carriage windows across London causing £50,000 work of damage<and that that work of art was actually carried out as his community service sentence, and hes now aprofessional glass engraver? Just goes to show there is an alternative to prison.This is all going to be demolished for the Olympics.Crouch End town hall - Actually an escape rocket for the councillors in case the civil war happensagain. Local Artist Alan Wolfson has done a picture of it...Suicide Bridge - took a true story, that it was originally meant to be a tunnel, but collapsed down thesides, and that now it is a popular suicide spot, then adding a falsehood that fits in with that: that thefirst person to die was the architect John Rennie himself who threw himself off in shame at thefailure of his engineering.All the suicides were caused by the Conservative govt refusing to pay for anti-suicide measures,and that by 1983 there was about three suicides per day, 20% of the workload of the nearbyWhittington hospital.

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