How to Influence People: Get the Most with Least Effort “There is nothing that is a more certain sign of insanity than to do the same thing over and over and expect the results to be different.” Albert Einstein
Andrew Chow a.k.a Ideasandrew Founded Ideamart (S) Pte Ltd since 1994 . Ideas & Concepts since 2002 Table For Six since 2008 Education Thames Valley University, UK Membership SACEOS member 2004 Business Awards STB Business Award – Most Innovative Marketing Initiative award 2007 Spirit of Enterprise 2008 Successful Entrepreneur 2010 Certification NLP Practitioner Certified Life Coach Forte PR Strategic Counsel, Implementation & Monitoring Social Networking / Social Media Strategy Brand Management Consultancy Personal Branding Professional Affiliation Approved NCSS Training Provider WDA ACTA-certified
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What is ThisCourse About? By the end of this course you will be able to:Influence others positively in the direction of your choice
The Ultimate Strategy By the end of this session you will be able to: Maintain the correctmentality with long term strategic thinking when interacting with others
Positive Attitude Priority: know what you need to do first • Need to know before influencing people Proactive: • Need to believe that you are responsible for the outcome, so you can correctly think about potential solutions. If something doesn’t go well, it’s not somebody else’s fault, it’s your fault.You need to think about it and fix it It pushes you to think of solutions, rather than blame.
Think Long Term What is the best long term strategy when dealing with people? Don’t Cooperate? Cooperate?
Think Win/Win Make sure that the other guy wins too! • There is no such thing as “Nothing for something” Cant get win/win from other means such as lose/win or win/lose. Need, Courage Integrity Abundance mentality
How to Get Anyone to Do Anything? By the end of this session you will be able to:Sequence your statementsefficiently to get maximum effect
Logic Logic • Making a factual reasoning to convince someone by using aConcept logical step-by-step reasoning. • “There are two reasons why this idea won’t work. We have tried a prototype version before and the results showedExample that the product is too expensive to produce. The second reason is...”When to • Use it when you want to influence people’s use decisions by logic. • Weak reasoning without the correct facts canBackfire backfire. It is much harder to influence people if you do not have evidence for your argument.
Logic Inspiration • Suggesting what may happen as opposed to fact-Concept based reasoning. This appeals to emotions more than logic. • “Imagine when we have created a large client base all over UK, we can start our aggressive advertisementExample campaign and show the world what we are capable of...”When to • Use it when it is difficult to present the argument with facts and evidence. It is also useful when use getting players emotionally involved in the subject. • The actual delivery of inspirational speeches isBackfire critical.You need to be passionate and attempt to raise the emotions.
Logic Participation Example • Asking a number of questions where the answers Concept will lead the other person to draw his own conclusions.• You: “Do you use a computer on a daily basis?”• Her: “Yes, I do.”• You: “You must produce a lot of data then?”• Example • ... Her: “Yes.”• You: “I suppose you can’t afford to lose this data.”• Her: “No. It would be a disaster if I lose the data. It’s years of • This is used against someone who is more powerful research, reports, emails and so on.” When to than you. This is very effective since the other person• You: “So it is quite responsible to have a separate the reasoning data use feels important and actually part of copy of this in case you lose the originals.” process.• Her: “Absolutely. I guess I need a system to take care of this.”• You: “Can I •suggest a is particularly hard to use since it is difficult toare quite This tactic number of backup systems. They know the Backfire days.” in (as to become irrelevant)careful that the questionsthat the cheap these answers advance.You need to be and not too narrow (so are not too broad• Her: “Sure, go ahead.” can see where you are going). other person
Logic Uplift • Making someone feel good about themselves andConcept start listening to you. • “You did very well in the last project. I know I can count on you next time. I am sure we will be ableExample to produce something truly great in our next project. ”When to • Used when you want to influence people with use similar or less power. • If used in an obvious way, it has a reverse effect. They can see that you are just saying this to makeBackfire them do something for you. Don’t use against people more powerful than you.
Logic Deal • Offering something to someone in return forConcept something. • “If you order by the end of the week, we canExample bundle an extra feature for you.”When to • This tactic is used when you want something and you do not mind giving something in return. Leads use to relationship building. • It is important to make a fair deal, or at least make it appear to be. Be careful with how much youBackfire offer. If you offer too much, you may look like a naive deal maker.
Logic FavourConcept • Asking for something you want. • “Can you do me a favour please? It would mean aExample lot to me if you could pop out to post this urgent mail.”When to • This is powerful only if the other person cares use about you. Use in moderation. • The other person may expect you to return theBackfire favour. If you do not return the favour, others could become more hesitant to help you in the future.
Logic Collective • Using view of other people to influenceConcept someone. • “Everyone in the market is upgrading their systemExample to comply with the new standard. We dont want to be left out.”When to • This is especially effective if what you state is in line use with the view of the person you are influencing. • Some people prefer to go against the crowd andBackfire want to be different.Your argument might have the reverse effect in this case.
Logic Policy • Showing your power based on a certain principleConcept or rule. • “Let me be clear about this. It is a requirement thatExample your services must pass the agency’s quality guidelines or we will not accept your product.”When to • Authority is effective as a quick response to a problem. It is very blunt and sometimes use provocative. It is better to use Policy as a last resort. • This can lead to a reverse outcome when used on certain people. They may choose to do exactly theBackfire opposite of what you want them to do, precisely because you tried to exercise authority over them.
Logic ForceConcept • Exercising power. • “If you do not comply, I have no choice but toExample report you!”When to • Use only in emergencies. use • Since this is a powerful influencing tactic and is effective in bringing short-term results, it can beBackfire very tempting to use. It can have negative effect on your relationship, even when the event has passed.
LogicRules Inspiration Use from soft to hard Participation Questions are better used before others. Uplift Favour and Deal are more Deal effective after other Favour tactics have been employed. Collective Policy and Force are best Policy left for emergency only. Force
• “We are going to become the supplier of choice in this industry. Everybody will be talking about us. Of course the team behindInspiration this great product would get a lot of publicity when we get there. That can’t be bad!” • “To get there we need to go through three phases as you know well. There is a lot of work ahead of us and the whole team Logic needs to be behind it with all they can offer if we want to become the best. Don’t you agree?” • “Everyone in the team is willing to sacrifice certain privileges in life for a short while,Collective like working over time, so that we can stay on schedule. Everyone is committed and they are all working really hard.”
• “If we put the effort in, we will all succeed. We all get a share of the pie. But if we fail,Deal no one gets anything. It’s your call. Are you in or out?” • “Teamwork is about fairness. It is not fair on others to work hard when some don’t putPolicy as much effort. If we see that your team doesn’t function as it should, we have no choice but to remove you from it.” • “If you don’t get your act together, you areForce out!”
Given a Case:• Write a number of influence statements starting from those that you think are more effective. Follow with more statements if your original statements where ignored.
How to Have the Highest EFFECT on Anyone? By the end of this session you will be able to:Show your understandingwhen communicating with others and open up the conversation
What is Psychological Air? A person in need of air won’t think of anything else! “Satisfied needs do not motivate.” Stephen Covey
Seek First to Understand and Then to be Understood When communicating with others, • Put aside your autobiography • Dont evaluate or judge before you listen What is the best way to show that you understandsomeone when you are in a conversation with them? Use empathic conversation: rephrase theirstatement by your own words based on logic and emotion
“Oh, I have had it. Clients just don’t know whatthey want!” Mimic“You’ve had it.You think clients don’t know what they want.” Rephrase “You think that clients waste your time.” Reflect and Rephrase “Your clients make your life difficult.”
HiTech Company: “We are getting lots of customer complaints that thelaptop repairs are taking too long to complete. The laptops are in transit allthe time.”Delivery Company: “You can use our fast delivery option. This is verypopular with our customers.”HiTech: “But then this will increase the cost of repair significantly and wedon’t have much margin.”Delivery: “Well, we are the best delivery company and you wont getanything better from someone else”Hi Tech; “Even if we use the special delivery, the laptops still need to be sentfrom customer, to your warehouse, to our test centre, back to yourwarehouse and then back to the customer. It takes too long.”Delivery; “Ok, why don’t you use our morning deliver service to sendparcels before 8:00am. That will solve your problem…”
ImprovedHi Tech Company: “We are getting lots of customer complaints that the laptoprepairs are taking too long to complete. The laptops are in transit all the time.”Delivery Company: “You have many customers complaining about delayedrepairs.”HiTech: “The laptops are sitting in transit more than they are in the repaircentre.”Delivery: “You feel the delay caused in transit is upsetting your customers. ”HiTech: “I wish we could find a way to cut out all this transit time.”Delivery: “You want to reduce the travel time of laptops, as if they never leavethe warehouse. ”Hi Tech: “Ah, exactly, why should we get them shipped to our test centre, whenthe repair can actually take place in your warehouse …”
PRACTICAL: Empathy “I am fed up with these reports. They never finish.” “My clients are way too demanding. No matter what I do for them, they always want more.” “My boss doesn’t understand me at all. He doesn’t take my ideas seriously until they are suggested by someone else months later.”
Influence Principles By the end of this session you will be able to: Use the 6 universalprinciples of influence and learn how to counteract them
Principle 1: Reciprocation How do you feel when someone gives you sample cubed cheese in a supermarket? What is the best way to initiate a relationship? How to use concessions?
Counter Attack! Philosophy: Use Jujitsu Question: “Is this a typical favour or is it one offered as a step toward a bigger request that will come later?”
Principle 2: Scarcity Less Less Freedom Opportunities We hate to lose freedom we already have What is Psychological Reactance? “Now we are going to share with you the results of research that has not been published yet ...”
Counter Attack! Two step process: • Q1: “Do I feel far more emotional about the lack of this thing than I should?” • Q2: “Would this function just the same even if it wasnt scarce?”
Principle 3: Authority “I am the boss, do as I say!” “Your cambelt is wearing out, and may die soon.You should replace it, otherwise if it goes it can damage many things and repair will be costly!”
Counter Attack! Two step process: • Q1: “Is this authority truly an expert?” • Q2: “In this particular occasion, can I expect this person to be truthful?”
Principle 4: Social Proof What do you do if you see someone lying on the street, head down, while everyone passes by?
Counter Attack! Situation dependant: When social evidence has been falsified. • “Does what I am about to do make any sense, other than following what others are doing?” When following each other • “Have I checked the status, because even if no one tries to sabotage it, it can go wrong on its own?”
Principle 5: Consistency People live up to what they write down I went through hell to get this, so it must be good. • If it costs an arm and a leg, then it must be worth it.
Counter Attack! Two Signals: Use your gut feeling: • “Am I trapped into complying with a request I dont want to accept?” Probe heart of hearts: • “Knowing what I know now, if I go back in time, would I make the same choice?”
Principle 6: Liking How can you increase your liking? Cooperative Similarities Complements Efforts
Counter Attack! “Do I like this person more than I should given the circumstances?” What do you take home with you? The product or the salesman?
The Future Increasing Increasing Complexity Shortcuts Increasing Exploitation
How to Give Feedback? By the end of this session you will be able to: Deliver your potentiallynegative message and get a good response
Feedback Types There are only two types: Positive Constructive
Asking the Right Questions Why are you always late?
4-Step Feedback Prepare • Timing Scene • Place • Don’t blameGive Specific • Don’t generalise Feedback • Avoid arguments • Ask questions, wait for answers Pause • Let them own the problem • Open questions • They can own the solution Work on • Observe that they have understood the Solution problem and the solution by listening
Situation• Your colleague is always very loud in meetings and pretty much dominates the conversation. The quality of meetings has gone down and as a result people are starting to avoid going to meetings with him. You want him to correct his behaviour.
Situation• You have a team member who is argumentative. He wants to prove to everyone that he has the best ideas and is not receptive to others inputs and ideas. This means his debates with team members take longer to resolve and is a waste of time. How do you approach and resolve this?
How to Balance World View? By the end of this session you will be able to:Encourage or discourage anyone strongly in the direction of your choice
QuestionSuppose your client is agitated andnervous about an idea.You want tomake them feel better. What wouldyou do?
The Three Parameters • You feel that the situation Permanent will not change. • You believe that the Critical problem is more significant than it really is. • You think that it will affectAll-consuming everything else in your life.
Example• Your colleague is removed from a team because she wasnt a good fit. You want to comfort her. What would you say?“Look, its not as bad as you think.You will be moreuseful and appreciated elsewhere.”“You can always go back to the team at a later stagewhen they truly need your expertise.”“This means that you can now go and join anotherteam. This time your talent will be put to good use andyou get to work with different people.”
Situation• Your client was expecting to receive a bespoke component from you that they wanted to use in a prototype model due for demonstration in an exhibition tomorrow. There has been a postal strike and they have not received the parcel. Your client thinks this is a disaster, that they are going to miss a great opportunity and that they will never recover from this.
How to Encourage? By the end of this session you will be able to:Use a simple technique to reinforce behaviour of team members
Why dont we praise? Because we think they We may We dont should have somehow want to make done it think it the other correctly undermines us person feelanyway and so to praise embarrassed they shouldalready know
5-Step Praise Warm up Praise specifically Describe the impact Reinforce Identity Congratulate
Example Warm up • You know we had this client coming over to visit us last week • You were very professional in getting him around Praise to the meeting room and making him feel Specifically comfortable. I am very glad that you made sure he was welcome. • The meeting went very well. Part of that was Impact because he was impressed with our hospitality and wanted to do business with us. Reinforce • …and of course you were the critical person who made him feel at home here. First Identity impressions count a lot and you delivered.Congratulate • Thanks very much. I am very impressed with your work.
Situation• You are a team leader and you want to praise a member of your team who has been very creative in meetings with the customer and has managed to impress them so much with his technical ability that they want to work more with your company.
Story 1• You had an important report delivery yesterday but you had lots of issues with MS Word which played up when you were formatting the document. Your colleague came to rescue you as she realised you were getting stressed and needed help, she even had to stay late to help you out.You want to thank her so that she knows her efforts were not a waste.
Story 2• A member of your team usually comes unprepared to meetings and keeps on chatting a lot about topics that are not related to the meetings agenda.You have mentioned this before to him and in the last meeting he brought with him some related reports and tried to talk about those only. You want to praise him so that this behaviour is reinforced.
How to Say No? By the end of this session you will be able to:Say No and be lover for it!
Saying No Why saying NO is difficult • Disappoint • Appear incompetent • Cause offence Why saying NO is sometimes good (yes, always saying NO is not good) • Focus on your goals • Boost your confidence and self-esteem • Be in control of your time • Don’t get pushed around • Build up your reputation
Situation Request • You are in the middle of doing some critical work on a project. A colleague approaches you and asks, “Can you do me a favour. I need a hand to finish this report delivery for ASD Technologies today.”
Direct NO Provide Reasons Sympathy Offer Alternatives
Provide No, I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you much because I have a critical Reasons piece of work to do which customer is expecting ASAP and I am told to finish it off as soon as possible. I have cleared my schedule for everything today to focus on this instead. Sympathy Sorry about this. I understand that you need to get this done. Let me think. Perhaps Paul can give you Offer a hand on this. I know he finished a bigAlternatives job a couple of days ago, so he might be free now.
Indirect NO Warm upAlternative Expand Policy Context Check
How to Request? By the end of this session you will be able to: Phrase your sentencesefficiently when selling a product or an idea
Sales Technique Requesting is a delicate activity Use sales and marketing technique • Because it works! Elegant solution when communicating • Writing an email • Writing a report • Street sale • Sales call • Approaching someone in a conference
A • Attention To get someone’s attention: • Give a clear and concise statement Ask • “Do you want to double your team’s efficiency at work?” Offer • “You will pay half the normal price for this gadget.” Statement • “This area will be going through a lot of redevelopment shortly and so its future looks very positive.”
I • Information Persuade by offering more details Expand Let them know that its worthwhile carrying on with the conversation. “There has been some major new development in improving communication between team members. 95% of our clients increased their team building significantly using this method.” “This product doesn’t just do X for you, let me show you a whole lot of other things you can do with it …”
D • Desire Create desire to get him do what you want him to do Make it so desirable that he wont think of alternatives
Give him an incentive • “We will beat anyone else’s price, guaranteed.” Show that you are • “We have many long-term clients who literally don’t want to deal with our competitors, because they know the quality of credible our service and that they can’t get it anywhere else.”Demonstrate that youwill be minimising his • “We will make sure that your case will be processed as soon risk if he listens to as possible, or your money back.” your case Show how you may • “We can help you to outsource some of the product manufacturing process so that you can focus on the design. help him We know that’s where your passion is.”Show what the future • “Five years down the road, everyone will be using this technology. Imagine when people start to notice it when youmay look like for him already have 5 years of experience in this field.”
A • Action Easiest task Don’t be vague. Tell him exactly what you want. Use time pressure “This offer expires in one week.” “If you don’t act now, we may not be able to offer it to you again on these attractive terms.” “In order to take advantage of this opportunity, all you need to do is to give us a call and we will take care of the rest.We will do all the hard work, that’s what we are here for.”
A I D A• Attention • Information • Desire • Action “I” can be Information or Interest Information and action are focused more Appeal to emotion and desire Logic is useful (in fact essential) but is not the only way we make decisions
Attention • This is the highest selling book of the month on Amazon. • It is a book on motivation, self-analysis and life’s achievements written by an author who was diagnosed with cancer and givenInformation 6 month to live and that was many month ago. He is a university professor who gave a lecture entitled “The last lecture” as part of a tradition in a university to see what would you say if you only had one last lecture to give. • This time, it was for real. He was actually giving his last lecture and everyone wanted to know what he is going to say. Imagine, the man is going to die and has been given one chance to say Desire what he wants to the world. What is the essence of success? How does it feel to look back at life knowing that it is going to end soon? I am sure everyone is interested. Who wouldn’t be? The lecture became so successful that he got an offer to write a book, and the result was this book selling on Amazon as No 1. Action • As you can see, it is on high demand.You can easily buy it from Amazon as new or as second hand. Here is the link.
Practical Write a Letter• Your company has produced a new grater called ‘BlastCut’ which you believe is going to revolutionise the grating industry. The product has passed the appropriate tests and is ready to be released to the market. Your aim is get John Lewis to stock your product and sell it. If you get John Lewis to stock it, you can also get the other retailers to stock it as well.You have been told that the first step is to write a brief letter to John Lewis describing your product.• What would you write?
Reinforce Learning What did you learn today? How are you going to use it? Which area would you like to expand on? • 9 Influence techniques • Empathy • Influence Principles • Feedback • Change View & Boost • Encourage / Praise • Say No • AIDA