Human and Animalsboth have conflictsThat is the reality of life!
Conflict Conflict is inevitable; Conflict develops because we are dealing with peoples lives, jobs, children, pride, self-concept, ego and sense of mission or purpose; Early indicators of conflict can be recognized; There are strategies for resolution that are available and DO work; Although inevitable, conflict can be minimized, diverted and/or resolved
Beginning of Conflict Poor communication Needs or wants are not being met Seeking power Values are being tested Dissatisfaction with Perceptions are being management style questioned Weak leadership Assumptions are being made Lack of openness Knowledge is minimal Change in leadership Expectations are too high/too low Personality, race, or gender differences are present
Conflict Indicators Body language Conflicts in value system Disagreements, Desire for power regardless of issue Increasing lack of respect Open disagreement Withholding bad Lack of candor on budget news problems or other Surprises sensitive issues Lack of clear goals Strong public No discussion of statements progress, failure relative Airing disagreements to goals, failure to through media evaluate the superintendent fairly, thoroughly or at all
Conflict is destructivewhen it: Takes attention away from other important activities Undermines morale or self-concept Polarizes people and groups, reducing cooperation Increases or sharpens difference Leads to irresponsible and harmful behavior, such as fighting, name-calling
Conflict is constructivewhen it: Results in clarification of important problems and issues Results in solutions to problems Involves people in resolving issues important to them Causes authentic communication Helps release emotion, anxiety, and stress Builds cooperation among people through learning more about each other; joining in resolving the conflict Helps individuals develop understanding and skills
Guidelines for ReachingConsensus Think Win-Win Strategy Interest versus Position Active Listening Understand - then - understood
Think Win-Win approach issue and other person(s) with the belief that both/all of you can have your needs met when you work together working together and having all needs met helps to support the agreement and improve the relationship
Strategy do your homework - what is your best strategy for reaching your ultimate goal? what resources are available to you? start to create a plan for how you will reach your ultimate goal and still thinking win-win
Interest versus Position understand what you need (not just want) and what the other party needs (not just wants) what criterion needs to be met? (e.g., timelines, standards, requirements) what different options are available?
Active Listening listen - listen - listen ask questions (preferably open-ended questions) summarize back what you understand the other person has told you ask person to correct or add on to your summary to ensure full understanding of the information being presented
Understand - then -understood (Covey) take the time to find out how the other person sees the issue - understand not necessarily agree use your active listening skills listen to the other person(s) so that you gain more information (eg, criterion, needs, goals) with a clear understanding of how the other person sees things, you are now in a position to go further into a discussion and bring forward some of you criterion, needs and goals working together to accomplish what needs to be done and ensuring that all needs are met
Visit my bloghttp://hammadsiddiquiblog.comFollow me on twitterhttp://twitter.com/hammads