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Happiness by choice


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Happiness by choice

  1. 1. Happiness by Choice..Prof. Christopher Abraham
  2. 2. Happiness by CHOICE
  3. 3. In our pursuit of happiness…
  4. 4. What Makes Us Happy?
  5. 5. Some say it’swhere you are
  6. 6. If that’s true…
  7. 7. Where would you rather be?
  8. 8. Here?
  9. 9. or Here?
  10. 10. Bet it was the firstoption…
  11. 11. did you knowsomebody actuallyresearched wheresome of the happiestplaces are?
  12. 12. Like this guy
  13. 13. He traveled the world to find thehappiest places on earth…
  14. 14. And wrote about it…
  15. 15. You’ll find out about his travels tohappy places like…
  16. 16. You’ll find out about his travels tohappy places like…
  17. 17. You’ll find out about his travels tohappy places like…
  18. 18. You’ll find out about his travels tohappy places like…
  19. 19. The common thread was thatthese happy countries wererelatively
  20. 20. Healthy
  21. 21. Wealthy
  22. 22. and Wise
  23. 23. But Eric Weiner’s book includedthe country Bhutan.It wasn’t relatively healthy,wealthy or wise
  24. 24. Then maybe it’s not where you are that makes you happy.
  25. 25. Maybe it’s your state of mind
  26. 26. Happiness…..
  27. 27. Your state of mind depends onyour willingness to change or adapt
  28. 28. History has shown how powerful the human will is
  29. 29. It was Gandhi’s will that helped change the future of India
  30. 30. It was Dr King’s will that helped change American civil rights
  31. 31. Want to be happy?
  32. 32. OnlyYOU canmake ithappen
  33. 33. So maybe it IS your state of mind
  34. 34. It just takes small steps and willingness to try stuff*
  35. 35. And the pursuit of happiness is worthwhile and takes work.
  36. 36. Happiness comes from your core sense of who you are, it doesn’tdepend on your circumstances but definitely DOES affect them.
  37. 37. Pursuing Happiness takes work, but it might be the mostrewarding work we’ll ever do. – Sonya Lyubomirsky, 2008
  38. 38. By being aware of and promotingyour own happiness, you can buildresilience and help influence theways people cope with adversity.
  39. 39. Can We Make Ourselves Lastingly Happier?
  40. 40. YES!•Martin Seligman taught one happinessenhancing strategy to a group of severelydepressed people.•The exercise involved writing down 3 good things that had happened every day
  41. 41. YES!•Within 15 days their depression lifted tomildly or moderately depressed and 94%experienced reliefHow does this compare with antidepressants!
  42. 42. Happiness is a Serious IssueMost of us are not flourishingWHO predicts that by 2020 depressionwill be the 2nd leading cause of morbidityin the world, affecting 30% of all adults
  43. 43. What is Happiness to You ?Experience of joy, contentment, positivewell-being, with a sense that life is good,meaningful and worthwhile.-Sonja Lyubomirsky
  44. 44. What is Happiness to You ?Matthieu Ricard notes it is "a deepsense of flourishing that arises froman exceptionally healthy mind. Thisis not a mere pleasurable feeling, afleeting emotion, or a mood, but anoptimal state of being.Happiness: A Guide to Developing Lifes Most Important Skill, MatthieuRicard
  45. 45. What Does Make us Happy?Research consistently shows us thethings that makes us most happy arethese:•Strong relationships with family andfriends•Having a sense of meaning orpurpose•Contributing to the lives of others•A sense of control in our lives
  46. 46. What Doesn’t Make Us Happy?What is not associated withhappiness?• Age• Gender• Cultural background• Education• Urban or rural place of residence• Wealth
  47. 47. What Doesn’t Make Us Happy?Set point for happinessWithin one year of a very positive orvery negative event, happinessreturns to previous levels
  48. 48. 3 Major Myths about Happiness1. Happiness must be “found out there”40% of happiness is in our own hands
  49. 49. 3 Major Myths about Happiness2. The myth of more….I would be happy if…. Or when….. advertising feeds on thisHappiness lies in changing ourcircumstances.
  50. 50. 3 Major Myths about Happiness3. You either have it or you don’tWe CAN overcome our geneticprogramming !!!
  51. 51. Happiness is determined more byour state of mind than by externalevents
  52. 52. States of Happiness We can be: •Unhappy •Happy for bad reason •Happy for good reason Or•Happy for no reason – this is what we are aiming for
  53. 53. What are some of the I’ll be happywhen … statements you might have orhear?
  54. 54. Happiness Set - point•50% of our happiness is determined byour genes our “happiness set-point”•10% is determined by life circumstances•40% by our intentional activities. Your happiness set-point will remainthe same unless you make a concertedeffort to change it
  55. 55. Happiness Set- pointThat’s the exciting bit, we canchange things
  56. 56. Happiness Set Point•Studies have tracked people whowon the lottery - what many peoplethink of as the ticket to happiness.•Within a year, these winnersreturned to about the same level ofhappiness theyd had before theirwin.
  57. 57. Happiness Set Point•The same was true for people whobecame paraplegic. Within a year or so ofbeing disabled, they also returned to theiroriginal happiness level.
  58. 58. Moving to Happy For No Reason•This state of happiness is universaland refers to a state ofenlightenment or peace within•“It is not that your life is alwaysperfect – it’s just that however itlooks, you’ll still be Happy”
  59. 59. Moving to Happy For No Reason Happy people don’t have special powers they have different habits. -Marci Shimoff, 2008
  60. 60. Moving to Happy For No ReasonOur routines hide the “plasticity ofour brains” like ruts in a road. Thebrain is capable of the changing itscircuits and is always doing so.-Norman Doidge, The Brain ThatChanges Itself 2007
  61. 61. The Brain That Changes Itself!!
  62. 62. Our Brain’s Ability to ChangeScientists have discovered thathabitual thoughts and behaviorscreate specific neural pathways inour brains, just as water flowingdownhill creates a groovein the earth.
  63. 63. Our Brain’s Ability to ChangeWhen we think or behave a certainway over and over, the neuralpathway is strengthened and thegroove becomes deeper.
  64. 64. Our Brain’s Ability to ChangeUnhappy people tend to have morenegative neural pathways -- their mindsare literally stuck in a rut.Scientists used to think these neuralpathways were set in stone.
  65. 65. Our Brain’s Ability to ChangeNew research shows that when yourepeatedly think, feel, and act in adifferent way, the brain actually rewiresitself. This means you can change yourhappiness set point.Richard Davidson, PhD, of the University of Wisconsin-Madison quoted by M Shimoff, 2008
  66. 66. We always have the potential togrow and change – we can change our brain by transforming our mind.
  67. 67. The Wilma Rudolf Story
  68. 68. The Wilma Rudolf Story
  69. 69. & Now is the TIME for CHANGE A Few Scientific Tips…
  70. 70. Relationships are number one.
  71. 71. Go beyond yourself - Commit to doing things for others.
  72. 72. Gratitude is a vital – Count your blessings each night.
  73. 73. The Nick Vujicic Story
  74. 74. Stop Over Thinking•Thinking is terribly over rated – you muststop it.•We create chaos in our minds with overthinking•We can’t always fix or change everything– acceptance and allowing is enough, wedon’t need to have all the answers
  75. 75. Stop Over Thinking•Come back to your senses•Feel the body, hear, smell, look•The body is the anchor to the present
  76. 76. Blessings ActivityWrite 3 things down every nightbefore you go to sleep the thingsthat went well – your blessings
  77. 77. Patterns of Happy People
  78. 78. Patterns of Happy PeopleDevote much time to family and friends and enjoy those relationships.
  79. 79. Patterns of Happy PeopleAre comfortable expressing gratitude for all they have
  80. 80. Patterns of Happy PeopleAre often first to offer a helping hand to others
  81. 81. Patterns of Happy PeoplePractice optimism when imagining their futures
  82. 82. Patterns of Happy PeopleSavour life’s pleasures and live in the present.
  83. 83. Patterns of Happy People Exercise regularly
  84. 84. Patterns of Happy PeopleAre deeply committed to life long goals/activities
  85. 85. Patterns of Happy PeopleFeel alive, vital, energetic
  86. 86. Patterns of Happy PeopleHave a sense of flow, openness
  87. 87. Patterns of Happy PeopleFeel love and compassion for self & others
  88. 88. Patterns of Happy PeopleHave passion about life and its purpose
  89. 89. Patterns of Happy People Are at peace with life
  90. 90. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood
  91. 91. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Breathe deeply
  92. 92. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Laugh
  93. 93. Ways to Enhance Positive MoodSavour momentary experiences
  94. 94. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Enjoy your environment
  95. 95. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Find positives in your life
  96. 96. Ways to Enhance Positive MoodSupport, help, cheer up someone
  97. 97. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Be physically active
  98. 98. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Daydream
  99. 99. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Use one of your strengths (VIA strengths )
  100. 100. Ways to Enhance Positive MoodTend something you care about
  101. 101. Ways to Enhance Positive MoodRemove guilt, remorse and regret
  102. 102. Ways to Enhance Positive Mood Think & Behave like a happy person
  103. 103. And Finally…………….
  104. 104. Thank You & God Bless… Prof.Chris Abraham