Relational Aggression

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Girl on girl bullying

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  • Images we all have seen…maybe even been a part of…
  • It’s important to note that any and all students can be bullies and can be the victim of bullying. This presentation focuses on one specific category of bullying that seems to be prevalent and is on the rise at NHS. Due to relational aggression being covert, we need to be even more diligent in looking for its occurrence.
  • Often we think of bullying as the “traditional” hazing of students – the type we normally “see” -pushing in the hallways, putting in a locker, making fun of, pushing in the locker room – but the type we don’t see – the hidden and covert bullying is all around us – just look in guidance or the office – who do we see? We see girls complaining about who did what to each other. It’s a growing epidemic and concern.
  • We often only catch glimpses of this type of aggression and so we don’t always connect all the pieces to see the big picture.
  • Any of these effects have the potential to disrupt a student’s life and school work. Sometimes the disruption is short lived and resolves itself and other times can have life long effects that follow and haunt a student for years to come.
  • Underlying reasons are varied and a diverse set of triggers that are often hidden from classroom teachers – we should look harder and dig deeper.
  • Any of these effects alone might be explained away, but in combination they start to illuminate a possible problem of relational aggression. Keep your eyes open and if you see something say something.
  • This article came to me from Inside The School that used to offer on-line support to teachers in the classroom it has since changed and now is offering classroom and school support to administrators. I found this one possible technique useful and readily doable for teachers in a position to help diffuse the situation.
  • Relational Aggression

    1. 1. Relational Aggression GIRL-ON-GIRL AGGRESSION
    2. 2.  Girls and boys can both be mean but girls internalize it more and ruminate on it  Girls are mean to each other for trivial reasons  The effects can be long lasting into adulthood  Girls are good at hiding their aggressive behavior they know which teachers are tuned in  Relational aggression can include cyber bullying  It is our responsibility to maintain a safe environment  Relational aggression is COVERT and is everywhere ODDS AND ENDS
    3. 3. Relational aggression, also known as covert aggression, or covert bullying is a type of aggression in which harm is caused through damage to one‟s relationships or social status. (Wikipedia, 2012) RELATIONAL AGGRESSION DEFINITION
    4. 4. Relationship Manipulation Subtle and behind one‟s back Social Exclusion Being left out Reputation Attacking Spreading rumors – especially on-line Using Demeaning Gestures Rolling eyes and dirty looks (Fraser-Thill, 2012) TYPES OF RELATIONAL AGGRESSION
    5. 5. Painful hurt feelings Low self-esteem Unable to focus Lack of motivation Isolation Anger Retribution and revenge Self injury Poor academics Time out of class in guidance or office EFFECTS
    6. 6. Cultural Causes of Bullying Violence is acceptable (WWF) Institutional Causes Place doesn‟t have high standards for anti-bullying Social Issues Recognition for negative behaviors Family Issues Discipline at home is inconsistent or over the top The Bully's Personal History Past experience of social rejection or academic failure Having Power Want to wield it and show off the power Provocative Victims UNDERLYING REASONS ("WHY DO PEOPLE," 2009)
    7. 7.  Change in friends  Drop in grades  Sad look  Late to class  Last one to leave class  Preoccupied  Change in appearance  Long sleeves in hot weather (cutting)  Weight loss  Absenteeism SIGNS TO WATCH FOR
    8. 8. Dr. Erin Willer  Dr. Erin Willer In her seminar Helping Girls Cope and Communicate About Social Aggression Dr. Willer presents a three step exercise  Dr. Willer is an assistant professor at the University of Denver  Former high school English and speech teacher  Research focuses on how females manage social aggression (Willer, 2009) POSSIBLE RESOLUTIONS
    9. 9. Ask student to recall an incidence of meanness Give them the opportunity to talk or write about it Instead of “ruminating” or gut churning about it this gives language to thoughts and emotions Reflection helps to make sense out of life‟s events STEP ONE – REFLECT ON MEANNESS
    10. 10. Draw a metaphor for the meanness This puts the focus on the problem and not the person An example of a metaphor for love might be a warm blanket An example of a metaphor for kindness might be a cat licking her kitten An example of meanness might be a cat scratching the couch when the couch didn‟t do anything to the cat STEP TWO – CREATE METAPHORS
    11. 11.  Have the student draw a redemption metaphor  Focus on the good that can come out of it  Normal to feel bad when girls are mean but try to find the good  An example might be moving to a new town is hard but a new home with a big bedroom would be great  A student example was a drawing of two peas in a pod  Engaging in telling the story and drawing metaphors helps students make sense of the situation STEP THREE – POSITIVE METAPHOR
    12. 12.  This three step process is but one possible course of action  Communication and a sense of connection to others can go a long way in tamping down RA  Be aware that RA is happening in our school, but to see it you have to look for it CONFLICT RESOLUTION
    13. 13.  The Ophelia Project http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/ra_faq.htm  Do Something http://www.dosomething.org  Why are those girls so mean? http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/bullying/596-why-are- those-girls-so-mean.gs  Inside The School http://www.insidetheschool.com/  A Way Through http://www.awaythrough.com/educators.htm ON-LINE RESOURCES
    14. 14.  Relational Aggression in Girls by Jamie Kupkovits  Mean Girls: 101 1/2 Creative Strategies for Working With Relational Aggression by Kaye Randall, LISW-CP & Allyson A. Bowen, LISW-CP and Susan Bowman  „‟Odd Girl Out‟‟ by R. Simmons  ‟Queen Bees and Wannabes‟‟ by R. Wiseman SUGGESTED READING
    15. 15.  DeBruyn, R. L., & Larson, J. L. (2009). You can handle them all. (2nd ed.). Manhattan, Ka: The Master Teacher.  Fraser-Thill, R. (2012). Social aggression forms of social aggression. Retrieved fromhttp://tweenparenting.about.com/od/behaviordiscipline/a/Social- Aggression.htm  Why do people bully?. (2009). Retrieved from http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/why -do-people-bully.html  Wikipedia. (2012, August 05). Relational aggression. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relational_aggression  Willer, E. (2009, October 26). How to help students cope with girl on girl aggression. Retrieved from http://www.insidetheschool.com/free- reports/how-to-help-students-cope-with-girl-on-girl-aggression (hanging indent intended) REFERENCES

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