Images we all have seen…maybe even been a part of…
It’s important to note that any and all students can be bullies and can be the victim of bullying. This presentation focuses on one specific category of bullying that seems to be prevalent and is on the rise at NHS. Due to relational aggression being covert, we need to be even more diligent in looking for its occurrence.
Often we think of bullying as the “traditional” hazing of students – the type we normally “see” -pushing in the hallways, putting in a locker, making fun of, pushing in the locker room – but the type we don’t see – the hidden and covert bullying is all around us – just look in guidance or the office – who do we see? We see girls complaining about who did what to each other. It’s a growing epidemic and concern.
We often only catch glimpses of this type of aggression and so we don’t always connect all the pieces to see the big picture.
Any of these effects have the potential to disrupt a student’s life and school work. Sometimes the disruption is short lived and resolves itself and other times can have life long effects that follow and haunt a student for years to come.
Underlying reasons are varied and a diverse set of triggers that are often hidden from classroom teachers – we should look harder and dig deeper.
Any of these effects alone might be explained away, but in combination they start to illuminate a possible problem of relational aggression. Keep your eyes open and if you see something say something.
This article came to me from Inside The School that used to offer on-line support to teachers in the classroom it has since changed and now is offering classroom and school support to administrators. I found this one possible technique useful and readily doable for teachers in a position to help diffuse the situation.
Girls and boys can both be mean but girls internalize
it more and ruminate on it
Girls are mean to each other for trivial reasons
The effects can be long lasting into adulthood
Girls are good at hiding their aggressive behavior
they know which teachers are tuned in
Relational aggression can include cyber bullying
It is our responsibility to maintain a safe
Relational aggression is COVERT and is everywhere
ODDS AND ENDS
Relational aggression, also known as
covert aggression, or covert bullying is a
type of aggression in which harm is
caused through damage to one‟s
relationships or social status.
RELATIONAL AGGRESSION DEFINITION
Subtle and behind one‟s back
Being left out
Spreading rumors – especially on-line
Using Demeaning Gestures
Rolling eyes and dirty looks
TYPES OF RELATIONAL AGGRESSION
Painful hurt feelings
Unable to focus
Lack of motivation
Retribution and revenge
Time out of class in guidance or office
Cultural Causes of Bullying
Violence is acceptable (WWF)
Place doesn‟t have high standards for anti-bullying
Recognition for negative behaviors
Discipline at home is inconsistent or over the top
The Bully's Personal History
Past experience of social rejection or academic failure
Want to wield it and show off the power
("WHY DO PEOPLE," 2009)
Change in friends
Drop in grades
Late to class
Last one to leave class
Change in appearance
Long sleeves in hot weather (cutting)
SIGNS TO WATCH FOR
Dr. Erin Willer
Dr. Erin Willer In her seminar Helping Girls Cope and
Communicate About Social Aggression Dr. Willer
presents a three step exercise
Dr. Willer is an assistant professor at the University
Former high school English and speech teacher
Research focuses on how females manage social
Ask student to recall an incidence of
Give them the opportunity to talk or write
Instead of “ruminating” or gut churning about
it this gives language to thoughts and
Reflection helps to make sense out of life‟s
STEP ONE – REFLECT ON MEANNESS
Draw a metaphor for the meanness
This puts the focus on the problem and not
An example of a metaphor for love might be a
An example of a metaphor for kindness might
be a cat licking her kitten
An example of meanness might be a cat
scratching the couch when the couch didn‟t do
anything to the cat
STEP TWO – CREATE METAPHORS
Have the student draw a redemption metaphor
Focus on the good that can come out of it
Normal to feel bad when girls are mean but try to
find the good
An example might be moving to a new town is hard
but a new home with a big bedroom would be great
A student example was a drawing of two peas in a
Engaging in telling the story and drawing metaphors
helps students make sense of the situation
STEP THREE – POSITIVE METAPHOR
This three step process is but one possible course of
Communication and a sense of connection to others
can go a long way in tamping down RA
Be aware that RA is happening in our school, but to
see it you have to look for it
The Ophelia Project
Why are those girls so mean?
Inside The School
A Way Through
Relational Aggression in Girls by Jamie Kupkovits
Mean Girls: 101 1/2 Creative Strategies for Working With
Relational Aggression by Kaye Randall, LISW-CP & Allyson A.
Bowen, LISW-CP and Susan Bowman
„‟Odd Girl Out‟‟ by R. Simmons
‟Queen Bees and Wannabes‟‟ by R. Wiseman
DeBruyn, R. L., & Larson, J. L. (2009). You can handle them all. (2nd ed.).
Manhattan, Ka: The Master Teacher.
Fraser-Thill, R. (2012). Social aggression forms of social aggression.
Why do people bully?. (2009). Retrieved from
Wikipedia. (2012, August 05). Relational aggression. Retrieved from
Willer, E. (2009, October 26). How to help students cope with girl on girl
aggression. Retrieved from http://www.insidetheschool.com/free-
(hanging indent intended)