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The A To Z Guide For Building A Strong Personal Foundation

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Just as a building needs a sturdy foundation to support the structure, you need a solid foundation to support your life.

Personal foundations will naturally vary depending on your circumstances. But they will always include core values, beliefs and highest life priorities supported by standards and behaviors that keep you strong, focused and effective.

Published in: Lifestyle
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The A To Z Guide For Building A Strong Personal Foundation

  1. 1. THE A TO Z GUIDE FOR BUILDING A STRONG PERSONAL FOUNDATION © M a r q u i t a H e r a l d E m o t i o n a l l y R e s i l i e n t L i v i n g “Life doesn’t get easier and more forgiving, we become stronger and more resilient.”
  2. 2. Just as a building needs a sturdy foundation to support the structure, you need a solid foundation to support your life. Personal foundations will naturally vary depending on your circumstances. But they will always include core values, beliefs and highest life priorities supported by standards and behaviors that keep you strong, focused and effective.
  3. 3. A – AIM TO BE BETTER THAN YOU WERE Goals are a wonderful way to focus on specific outcomes but just for a moment consider this. What IF every day you were to strive to achieve one thing – to be better than you were yesterday. Imagine how your life would change for the better if you mindfully followed that intention with everything you do for 365 days! “Don’t try to be perfect, just commit to being better than you were yesterday. Better thoughts, better decisions, better actions.”
  4. 4. B – BUILD HEALTHY BOUNDARIES Healthy boundaries are based on respect, core values, and your highest priorities and are dependent upon your willingness to commit to standards for the behaviors and circumstances that are acceptable in your life. They protect you from abuse and pave the way for you to achieve a more balanced life with happy, fulfilling relationships and true intimacy. C – CREATE DAILY RITUALS Rituals are the backbone of your personal standards, and your standards affect virtually every area of your life. Small daily rituals keep you focused on the things that matter most to you, and help you to stay motivated as you build momentum toward achieving your goals.
  5. 5. D – DEVELOP COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS Just to be clear, compassion is not is pity. Pity is looking down and feeling sorry for the suffering of another and then moving on. Compassion is concerned with the alleviation of suffering – our own and that of others. Compassion is intentional and can be cultivated and strengthened by expressing acts of kindness, caring, and support that relieve the suffering of others as well as ourselves. “When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.”
  6. 6. E – ELIMINATE ENVIRONMENTAL TRIGGERS You may not have given much thought to it, but you are highly susceptible to environmental triggers. For example, the way you relate to certain colors or sounds, physical and emotional clutter, stress, demanding relationships … and even words. Imagine spending time with someone who regularly uses words like: down, depressed, pointless, hurt, painful, despair, stupid, bad, tired, fed up, sad, nauseous, sick, ill, disappointed and so on. In time, this person will have built up an “environment of words” around you, to which you will begin to respond as surely as if the feelings expressed were your own. Begin to pay attention to and actively manage your environment and you’ll be amazed at what a difference it can make to your mood and energy level!
  7. 7. F – FOCUS It’s important, it works. And it’s not easy. We try to do too much, only to become distracted by the things (and people) yelling the loudest for our attention, and then end up wondering where the day went. The only way to achieve your desired results is to clear out the mental and physical clutter and focus your power on the things and people that really matter. “One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want in life is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life never deciding to master anything in particular.”
  8. 8. G – GET RID OF TOLERATIONS What have you been tolerating in your life? Whether negative, unsupportive or toxic people, issues with your physical environment, health, finances, work, or self-care, make a list and begin removing them immediately. Tolerations can be like human black holes pulling you in further and further, sucking the energy right out of you. H – HAVE A PURPOSE LARGER THAN SELF A clearly defined purpose is the key to achieving life goals, finding greater happiness and fulfillment and having the ability to avoid discouragement and overwhelm when faced with a problem or hardship. Don’t make the common mistake of holding out for a purpose “worthy” enough to impress others. You are the only one who can give meaning to your life.
  9. 9. I – IMAGINE THERE ARE NO LIMITS Imagine you have all the time, talents and resources to achieve your goals and dreams. Sounds like a cliché, but self-limiting beliefs can stop you in your tracks unless you muster the courage to stand up to them. Here’s a mantra for you … Courage Over Comfort! J – JOURNEYS WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE THE DESTINATION Yes, we can learn many things on our journeys, but the journey can actually become a deterrent to your growth when the destination becomes an after thought. The Zen of the journey philosophy may be great for the ego, but wandering through life without ever achieving a goal leaves you with no successes and deprives you of the satisfaction and joy that comes with actually crossing the finish line.
  10. 10. K – KEEP SMILING It’s easy to be happy when things are going well, but sometimes we hit a rough patch when no matter how hard we try it feels like we’re never going to get back to our “happy place” again. People who are able to smile, rain or shine, have learned that happiness is always a choice. The amazing thing is that when we make that choice we free ourselves from the extreme highs and lows of life. We experience greater inner peace, and luck seems to be on our side. But even when things don't work out, we are able to make the most of our experiences and find opportunities for growth, knowing that no matter what happens, we will be okay! “Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.”
  11. 11. L – LIVE YOUR TRUTH To identify and embrace your personal truth is one of the most important things you'll ever do in this life, and one of the most challenging. Your true self is hidden beneath your labels (mother, father, worker or boss), and the stories you tell to yourself and others about who you are, where you come from and where you are going. It is the storehouse for your core beliefs, values and deepest held hopes and fears, and it is a place most will never have the courage to go. Learning to live your truth isn’t about changing or “fixing” you, it’s freeing you to be the confident, powerful person you were meant to be, and living in a way that honors your most fundamental values and highest life priorities.
  12. 12. M – MAKE SELF CARE A PRIORITY What does “self-care” mean to you? Maybe taking a nap, meditating, or treating yourself to a bubble bath? All worthwhile activities, but reflect little of the full nature of practical and emotional self-care such as managing your time and energy, healthy boundaries, exercise and nutrition and learning to understand and manage your emotions. One of the best gifts you could give yourself for the New Year would be to take the time to create a personal self- care plan for your long-term health and well-being. “Your relationship with your body is one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have. And since repairs are expensive and spare parts are hard to come by, it pays to make that relationship good.”
  13. 13. N – NEVER LET FEAR STOP YOU! Most achieve a fraction of what they’re capable of because of fear. Is there one thing you have avoided because you’re afraid to try? Imagine what it would do for your self-confidence to overcome this fear once and for all! O – OWN YOUR LIFE The only way to truly own your life is to take full responsibility for it. Admittedly this may be difficult for some people to accept. After all, it does somewhat bump up against the reality that there are things that we have no control over. Nevertheless, the fact remains that you do have control over your thoughts, attitudes, reactions, feelings and beliefs. And think about this, when you take responsibility for everything in your life; you have the power to change anything about your life.
  14. 14. P – POSITIVE THINKING WORKS A positive mindset isn’t about looking at the world through rose colored glasses, assuming things will always work out, because sometimes things don’t. It will however help you to stay confident, motivated and open to possibilities for growth in ALL your experiences. Q – QUIT EXPECTING PEOPLE TO READ YOUR MIND Develop your communication skills so you can effectively communicate your desires rather than expecting others to read your mind. They could guess of course, but chances are they’ll be wrong most of the time and then you’ll be frustrated and unhappy. When you have the skills and courage to ask for what you want and need, nobody will have to guess anymore.
  15. 15. R – RESILIENCE IS ABOUT MUCH MORE THAN RECOVERY Ask anyone about resilience and chances are they’ll say it’s about “bouncing back” from a crisis. So you may be surprised to learn that resilience is as much about prevention and growth as recovery. After six decades of ongoing research we now know that highly resilient people tend to be healthier and live longer, are more successful in school and work, are happier in relationships and are less prone to depression … and whether you realize it or not, you have the power and ability to increase your capacity for resilience and tap into this reserve every single day. “The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way in which we choose to use them.”
  16. 16. S –STEP UP TO HIGHER STANDARDS To achieve meaningful growth in any area of your life you must raise your standards. We all have them, we just aren’t always aware of them. Some we inherit from family, others are the result of society’s norms drilled home by the media. Often standards are driven by our need to be accepted by others. Regardless of the source, it’s well within your power to use them to change or improve the quality of your life! T –TRUST AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF The person you most need to trust and believe in is yourself. No one can always be there to say the things you need to hear when you need to hear them, or be as consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be. Having faith in yourself increases confidence, lessens your need for approval and frees you to deepen your connection with others.
  17. 17. U – UNLEASH THE POWER OF A PERSONAL SUPPORT SYSTEM An often overlooked building block in developing emotional resilience is the ability to develop and manage a personal support system. This is simply a network of personal and professional relationships with people who are willing and able to provide you with practical or emotional support. There is no one size-fits-all formula for a support system because the nature of it will depend on your circumstances and stage in life. While there are many benefits to developing a support system the most basic is simple peace of mind. No one has all the answers, so knowing that when you find yourself up against an obstacle there are people you have a trusting relationship with available to lend a hand can go a long way toward helping you confidently push through any problem you may be facing.
  18. 18. V – VALUES ARE YOUR COMPASS Your values reflect how you show up in life, specific needs and principles you live by. They influence your decisions, relationships, work … everything. Having a good understanding of your values will help you gain clarity and focus so you can make choices aligned with who you are now and who you want to become. W – WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Too much of life is spent waiting. Waiting for the right circumstances, for the right people, for signs that we’re on the right path, for permission to do, be and have what we want in life. Whatever it is you are waiting for it’s time to name it, claim it, and own it. No one is ever going to swoop in and declare “Yes, I officially give you permission to (fill in the blank). Go now, be happy and live the life of your dreams!”
  19. 19. X – X MARKS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH Never stop growing! When you come across something you don’t understand, rather than just letting it go, X Mark that spot, word, thought or skill and make a point of increasing your knowledge and awareness by finding out about it. Y – YOU CREATE YOUR REALITY Unhappy people focus on what they don’t have, don’t want and all that is wrong with the world in general and themselves in particular. You don’t have to allow self-limiting beliefs to restrict your potential. Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true. The good news is, you can learn to change how you think. You can alter your perception and change your life for the better.
  20. 20. Z – ZERO IN ON THE LIFE YOU WANT TO CREATE FOR YOURSELF AND GO FOR IT!!! “This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. take the power to control your life. no one else can do it for you. take the power to make your life happy.”
  21. 21. Celebrate the day on which you embrace the power you have to create your own life experience. It is an amazing journey and you alone will be responsible for the quality of it. For more content like this visit Emotionally Resilient Living @ www.emotionallyresilientliving.com Marquita Herald Author, Publisher, Owner and Chief Resilient Living Evangelist

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