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  1. 1. ISSUE NO. 1 NOVEMBER 200 7 black nasty plus fences gods girls snuff 102 convert or die vivid alt political art and more... interviews+music+film+books+reviews
  2. 2. Fences a.k.a. Chris Mansfield is a Seattle solo act with a keen sense of compassionate and intimate songwriting. Perfectly constructed chords and vocals make this folk singer on par with Elliot Smith. Unfortunately, to hear Fences, you can’t go to a local record store and pick it up. But you can visit his Myspace page @ www.myspace.com/fencesvswolf for songs, venues and photos. After you hear it, I can guarantee you will want more. Besides being an amazing artist, his unique persona makes him an intriguing character and I was lucky enough to interview him. by Mike Gruttola Photo Credit: Kyle Johnson INTERVIEW WITH FENCES MG: Where did you grow up and what did you listen to growing up? CM: I grew up mainly in Florida, Boston, Arizona, Washington and Montana. The first tapes I ever got and really listened to...Um, Ninja Turtles or some shit like where they rapped and Splinter sang a ballad. Also Ice T "Freedom of speech you better watch what you say". Then a lotttttt of jazz and whiney shit and anything really really fast. MG: Why the move to Seattle? CM: I have a habit of thinking moving solves problems. MG: Do you currently work in Seattle? Doing what? CM: I work at "Glo's", it's a small breakfast place and I do a lot of stirring of eggs and batters. I love it. I hope I never leave. The only drag is that all my clothes smell like bacon and have stains on them. MG: How frequently do you have live performances and are you currently recording anything in a studio? CM: Im recording right now with Sonny Votolato and the thing should be done within a month. As far as playing live...I do it whenever asked. I never go out of my way to book a show for myself. There is no need to. MG: Who are your main influences musically and what life experiences play a role in your music? CM: My friend John Hostetter...he kinda showed me how to write songs through example. Obviously Elliott Smith, but he's more like my dad or something. Just dead. Almost everything in my life goes into my lyrics. Even the most boring things can beautiful. F E N C E S
  3. 3. MG: How do you find your relationships with people currently? CM: High fives at the bar but cold shoulders on the street. I have a couple solid mates though, and obviously a girl to keep me from sleeping in the bathtub. MG: How was your childhood? CM: I didn’t like it much. MG: Due to the fact you're a "folk" singer, your body decor gives you an unusual and intriguing image for the genre. If you would, explain the meaning behind them individually. CM: It's like...a sheep in wolves clothing , kinda like a "leave me the fuck alone" type of thing. Plus...I just like the way it looks. No huge meaning. MG: I believe singing and songwriting has lost all of its honesty, truthfulness and heart in most music today. How do feel about modern commercial music? CM: I don’t really know much of what’s going on with it. I listen to my friends playing music in my kitchen with me. None of us give it any attention. MG: I noticed a while back you went into a sort of "hibernation mode" and allegedly insulted a headlining act, if I have my facts straight. What triggered that? CM: Seattle's small and my personality is fucking huge. MG: Do you live by yourself in Seattle? Are you broke? CM: I’m broke yes, but that's my own fault. I buy a lot of clothes and booze and smokes. I live with a girl. MG: Do you masturbate frequently? CM: Once or twice a day, not cause I'm a scuzzbucket, but because it helps anxiety. MG: Any meaning behind the name Fences? CM: I think my ex-girlfriend thought of it, but I'm not too sure. MG: Do drugs and alcohol, if any, play a huge part in your life and music? CM: I drink man, but I don’t mess with anything else. I could say drinking everyday doesn't affect my music or life...but then I'd be a liar probably. MG: Are you looking for commercial success? CM: Yes. MG: When will we be seeing a full-length release? Also, any plans of touring? CM: Full length as soon as someone signs me or pays for it. Touring...as soon as someone asks me. I'd love to get the fuck out of here for a while. MG: In one word, what would you say is your main message you are trying to convey through your music? CM: One word? Shit dude I have no idea. Sorry mate. If someone can sit down and drink a beer and feel any emotional rise while listening to my music, that's all I want. MG: Final question: is there anything at all besides the above, you want us all to know about you? CM: I put hot sauce on everything and I have a crush on Sarah Silverman. Oh yeah, all you kids who listen to Fences...I LOVE YOU. -Chris
  4. 4. The Rise of the Modern Day Pin-up Girl by Mike Gruttola Pin-up girls have been on the rise ever since the Suicide Girls have adorned us with their presence some odd years ago. “Thank God someone has benefited from the internet. It’s not eBAy and Amazon. Somebody has made a name that’s not just monetary but a cultural icon.” Says Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club. This site and others like it have re-spun the nostalgic Bettie Page era into an entirely new world. In a male dominated pornography industry, women are taking over with this innovative and artful movement. Nudity can be tasteful and capture its beauty, without being too raunchy. Maybe, if this kind of erotica was the medium, we wouldn’t be a nation of puritans who view violence as ok, and sex as wrong. Let’s face it, most pornography is degrading to women and nearly impossible to get a hard-on from. I really don’t need to see the inside of an asshole or an old ballsack slapping against a middle aged crack whores’ ass. But that’s just me, some people are into it. I’m not saying all pornography sucks, but it’s few and far between. All in all, it’s getting old (literally), and the pin-up girls sites are a breath of fresh air. Vivid has made a hipster/punk division of their company called Vivid-Alt. Mainstream pornographers are recognizing this uprising and cashing in on it as well apparently. As well they should.
  5. 5. GEORGIA: They usually last all day, that's because you do several shoots throughout the course of the day & night. You meet with your photographer, discussing set ideas. Then hair, make up, & wardrobe. Then the fun starts, and you get sexy on em’. MG: Are you single, in a relationship, married? If taken, how does your other half feel about it? GEORGIA: Taken by an awesome guy, who was opposed to the idea at first, but we talked about it, and everything’s cool. He’s into the fact that his GF is a GodsGirl, and is always asking to see my pics...when I'm not around ;) MG: What made you want to become a GodsGirl? MG: How old are you now and where do you reside? GEORGIA: 20 yrs old and I live in hot ass arizona MG: How long ago did you start modeling for GodsGirls? GEORGIA: About a year ago this month. MG: About how long does a photo shoot take and what does it entail? GEORGIA: The chance to take beautiful, and glamorous photos. I knew what the sets were like. Provocative, not slutty. Classy, not trashy. So I was all for it. It's kind of an ego thing too. Having others look at your sexy pics and tell you how hot you are. Huge ego boost! INTERVIEW WITH GEORGIA
  6. 6. MG: For the most part, do all the girls get along with each other? GEORGIA: I can say that majority of the Gods Girls I have met have been great, sweet girls. But then again, women are competitive naturally... so I'm sure there is some behind the scenes shit talking going on... there's gotta be. I don't get involved in it... so I don't have any juicy cat fight gossip for you. MG: Do you feel sites like Suicide Girls, GodsGirls, and Burning Angel express sexuality in more of a positive light, due to the fact these sites are run by women in a male dominated industry? GEORGIA: Absolutely…I think on other adult sites, women are exploited. I've seen some where I'm just thinking like "why would you do that?" It can look sleazy if not done properly. I feel that all the sites you mentioned are portraying sex in a different way... it's more artistic & tasteful. I mean, yeah it’s still naked girls...but there's a big difference. We're bringing seductive back. MG: How is everyone treated at Gods Girls? GEORGIA: I haven't been treated unfairly...If I say I don't wanna do something...then it's not gonna happen. I've noticed it can be cliquey at times, and some may take that as inequitable. MG: Is this something you think you'll be doing for a long time? GEORGIA: Truthfully, No. I'm sure I'll grow out of it one day, but I am having fun now, and just enjoying the whole experience. MG: Do your friends and family know you're a GodsGirl, if so how do they feel about it? GEORGIA: Shhh…my parents do NOT know. I plan on keeping it that way. My friends do...they think it's pretty awesome. They're always asking for my password to get on and check out the girls. www.suicidegirls.com www.godsgirls.com www.burningangel.com
  7. 7. MG: How do you feel if and when you see your own photo shoots? GEORGIA: I get excited! We don't get to see the sets, till they go live on the site...so when they go up...I just hope I'm not making a stupid face. MG: Due to the fact this is a growing phenomenon, do you feel there is any chance for a sole individual to become a cultural icon such as Bettie Page? GEORGIA: Oh definitely...I think some girls, more so then others, have that "star“ quality. People are just drawn to them...they wanna see more & more, an infatuation begins, thus creating a craze. MG: Have you had offers or applied to any other similar sites? GEORGIA: I've been offered, but never accepted any of them. I wanted to just do GodsGirls, but I have friends that do several sites besides GG, such as Perverse Fixation. If you do enough sets, you can make some skrilla. MG: Is it possible to make a career out of this? GEORGIA: Hmmm...I don't see how...maybe if you branched out and made your own personal site and made bank on it, then yeah. Which I have thought about doing...but it takes money, to make money.
  8. 10. Holidays vs. Capitalism by Matthew Calamia Now before I really tackle this topic, I have to address the fact that I am one of the people I am bashing. I wish I wasn't, but hey, this capatalistic-America we're talking about, and well, I'm an 80's child, so it's in my blood to burn the green. But I was recently in the Smithaven Mall with my sister doing a little Holiday (can't say Christmas) shopping for some loved ones. The amount of people in the stores and hallways was really sickening. The real meaning of the holiday's has been burned away like gasoline in a Hummer. It's really sad to think that this time of year has just been given away to all the major businesses and retailers of the world, just like everything else. I gave away $100 of my hard-earned money in less than two hours, which is sickening. I know that what I spent it on will make the people it was purchased for happy, but I think just my company and genuine appreciation for them will give the same feeling. Don't get me wrong, I love getting shit just as much as the next person, but I do wish that this holiday was more focused on the togetherness and appreciation of your love ones company, rather than what hand bag or Xbox game you got to tear through on the morning of Dec. 25. I will try and swallow my own pill this year, and focus more on the togetherness rather than how much free stuff I'll rake in from family, and I urge all of you to do the same.
  9. 11. Blessings from the Pentagon: Convert or Die by Mike Gruttola I now introduce to you the worst idea since giving Larry the Cable Guy a movie contract. The Left Behind: Eternal Forces video game. A game where you command a Christian fundamentalist army to wage war on the streets of New York City against the non-believers. Not only is this a terrible idea, but it gets worse. The US Pentagon thought it would be a wonderful idea to send this game to US troops in Iraq. I’ll repeat, The United States Pentagon has endorsed sending a Christian supremacy game to a predominantly Muslim nation, for our troops. Huh? In the game you get to convert Jews, Muslims, Atheists or other non-believers, to fundamentalist Christianity. If they resist, you kill them. In our nation and in the nation of Iraq, the separation that religion causes is obviously a major problem. So, why would we send this game to our troops in the most delicate of times? I mean this idea isn’t far off from Hitler’s! I’ll tell you why: our governing bodies WANT to wage a religious war. We see it everyday with the lunatics that currently run the country. The separation of church and state no longer exists. And what better way to get this message out, than through a video game? Hmmm…well, lets see. Who predominantly plays video games? The impressionable youth? ABSOLUTELY. And now so do our troops. Will this game cause a holy war? I doubt it, but why are we pushing the boundaries of insanity?
  10. 12. POLITICAL ART EXPLOSION by MIKE GRUTTOLA There is an ever-growing plethora of political art displayed on the walls of our cities and towns. The following is a compilation of what I believe to be the best.
  11. 14. Sell Out by Danny Clifford Sell out, you fucking suit, boy scout, Uncle Tom, hall monitor piece of shit. The revolution is over and I’m trying to get mine. Got to get rich or die trying. I sold out, cashed in, entered the mainstream, got old, lost the edge. Joined the club. The people, the masses, my generation. Rebellion is a dead fad, exploited by earlier generations co-opted by the popular culture and now null and void in the face of my generation. When I was young I remember the horror and anxiety of having to divulge my personal information for the draft. My social security Number, my tag, my designation like I’m some robot in a postmodern sci-fi novel. The state is here and it is real. I now give my number out on a daily basis: credit reports, promotions, verifying business accounts. The sell-outs wait on line for I-phones as our brothers dodge shrapnel from extremist militants with AK-47’s. The largest protest march during the other war was 500,000 people. In Washington on September 23, 2007, 25,000 people marched, the largest protest for this war to date. I would have gone but the Entourage finale was playing on TV. Plus the price for gas was way too high to drive down there. I would have been supporting the war by spending that much money on gas. I would have paid for a whole fucking platoon or something. The biggest driving force for me to go to an anti-war protest at this point would be to meet some women, those rebellious hippie chicks with red bandanas and father issues. The protest isn’t what they used to be, nobody gives a shit. The media doesn’t cover it, There’s usually a little tag in the times or a blip on the news but nobody gives a shit, so why the fuck should I? I sold out; I’m too busy saving up for new a car or trying to get laid. The creditors are my new Gestapo, I’m chained by letters and bills and credit reports. Like Bobby D. from Brazil, I’m surrounded by the unseen forces of economic oppression, suffocated by paper work. Protest? Fuck that shit man, I got bills to pay.
  12. 15. Print this out or tell them you saw it in 516 MAGAZINE! Receive a $20 gift certificate with any tattoo over $100 (good on your next visit). 967-6 MAIN ST. HOLBROOK, NY (631)471-TIKI www.electrictikitattoo.com www.myspace.com/theelectrictikitattoo $40 for any single piercing above the belt!
  13. 16. World, meet Black Nasty by Mike Gruttola Reigning from the hard streets of Wichita, Kansas comes this brutal psycho-rapper. Now residing in Austin, Texas; Black Nasty a.k.a. Ted Beck wants to make you vomit with his highly offensive lyrics. Not meant to be taken too seriously, there is not one topic too taboo for Mr. Nasty. On his first album AIDS Can’t Stop Me , he touches upon topics such as: AIDS, literal animal loving, rape, his graphic encounter of receiving STD’s and gay sex. On the track Bitch Named Frank, he raps about an improbable encounter with Anne Frank and what he would like to do with her. He has a sexual account with his own mother on Muthafucka, and crawls up her vagina to hide from his father. This song was spawned from his mother pleading him not to release Six Year Old Bitch , about a little girl from a pedophiles perspective, which is still unreleased. The new maxi-single Feed From Me!, is his most brutal so far, but I have a feeling his new album Shark Tank will top it. To top it all off Black Nasty produces his sister Pink Nastys’ folk albums?? That’s right, you heard me correct. To me, he is an innovator and underneath the crudeness lies genius. His content will have a hard time making it to the mainstream without being stripped. But Black has made a pretty big impact underground, giving him a cult following. I like to think of him as the Lenny Bruce of white bread suburban hip-hop, who looks like that guy who works at the McDonalds and unleashes his bodily fluids into your food. I got to ask him some questions on the next page, and be sure to visit his pages to buy his albums! www.myspace.com/blacknasty www.blacknasty.net
  14. 17. MG: Where'd you grow up and how old are you now? BN: Wichita, Kansas. 29. MG: The question everyone wants an answer to, do you really have AIDS? BN: And then some, but the bitches go crazy for it. MG: Besides being a hardcore rapper, you also produced your sisters' folk albums and you were also in the folk-pop band The Kevins with your brother and sister. Will we see anymore projects like that in the future? BN: No. MG: You're currently working on a new full-length album Shark Tank. What will this album be all about? BN: It’s not quite done yet but it’s gonna be a monster. I wanted it to sound like the event rap albums of the early 2000’s. It’s very slick and poppy with lots of skits, guests and too many songs, filled up to the 80 minute brim. It’s got a couple autobiographical joints on there about girls and guys I know and a jam with Will Oldham about Eazy-E and a jam where I attack 30 year old women and then I feed lots of girls to my Shark Tank. Also, I sing a lot about poop, dead girls, dead black girls, crack-cocaine, the internet, and feet. It’s gonna be the last cd I do. MG: You have an underground cult following. Are you ever looking for commercial success? BN: Very casually.
  15. 18. MG: Will you ever release the controversial song 12 Year Old Bitch ? BN: It’s actually “Six Year Old Bitch”. Fucking a 12 year old is illegal too?? I rewrote “SYOB” for “Shark Tank”, but I actually offended myself so I put it away. – Haha, my mistake. MG: What do you're parents think about your music, especially the songs Muthafucka and Teddy ? BN: I did the song “Muthafucka” after my mother forced me to take “Six Year Old Bitch” off of "AIDS Can’t Stop Me". I played “Muthafucka” for her on the boombox in the kitchen and she said “That’s fine, you can fuck me but not a 6 year old.” MG: You've made it pretty clear that you hate women, how true is this? BN: As true as the fact that God is the sun. MG: Have you really engaged in sexual activities with your sister? BN: That’s in our family book of secrets. MG: Have you experimented with gay sex as you have stated? BN: Yes, it’s all the same to me. MG: How would you describe your drug and alcohol use? BN: Copious and unnerving. MG: What are your main influences for your music? BN: Prince when he was the symbol. MG: Where'd the name Black Nasty come from? BN: A homeless black old man named me that. He prophesized I would “die horny”. This was on a street corner in Chicago in the dead of winter. I was staying at the Drake hotel right on Lake Michigan, a beautiful place. I was walking by and he said “you're Black Nasty”, he said this thru the whistling wind, And I said, “huh” cuz I was intrigued, and he said “you Black Nasty. That’s you, and you're gonna die horny.” I was very alarmed. His words struck a chord with me. I invited him back to my hotel room which he obliged and we ordered up a pot of hot coffee and turtle soup and some rolls with melted asiago cheese on them. We drank from the mini bar and sang Wilson Pickett songs and watched “Pitch Black” on pay-per-view. We had some laughs but then I made him take his shoes and socks off and I stared at his gnarled, cracked, ashy feet while I masturbated. I made him watch me. I whispered “yeah, yeah, yeah” a lot under my breath. He looked so sad and proud and also like he wanted to kill me. I came, then I kicked him out. True story (I am laughing really hard right now just thinking about it again).- This is the funniest and most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! MG: Do you ever plan on going on a U.S. tour? BN: A slurring, detached 29 year old white male doing this kind of material live in a bar at 1am on a tuesday nite thru a blown out P.A. to a bunch of jerk offs would be depressing. But maybe I could get a little pussy out of it...so I wrestle with the notion.
  16. 19. MG: Giving the fact you're white and have an almost emo-like appearance, yet rap about AIDS, rape and violence, do you feel people look at you as just a gimmick? BN: I don’t care. All modern music is a gimmick, man. – Good Point. MG: How was your childhood and what music did you grow up listening to? BN: It was terrific. I grew up listening to NWA and Weird Al Yankovic. Hmmm. MG: On AIDS Can't Stop Me, you drop a lot of girls names, are they made up? BN: No, that cd is pretty autobiographical. I was sued by a bitch but that is over now. I’m innocent. MG: So, are you really an "Animal Lover"? BN: Dirt Nasty has taken over that title.- Yea, that guy did rip you off! Black Nasty- Feed From Me! 4/5 The title track Feed From Me! , says it all. A song about tying up his neighbor, starving her for days and making her drink his semen to survive. Disgusting yes, yet enough humor and clever antics to hunger for more.ike G. Black Nasty- AIDS Can’t Stop Me 5/5 The debut from Black Nasty, which has become an instant underground classic. Take the raps of Willie D. from the Geto Boys and mix it with folk-rock band Spoon; add a dab of Weird Al, and there you have AIDS Can’t Stop Me. Mentally disordered yet unique and hysterical. Unbelievably offensive yet oddly substantia l. An instant classic.- Mike G.
  17. 20. CD Reviews 1-Pure garbage 2-Don’t bother 3-Worth a shot 4-It’s great! 5-Sheer perfection The new album from Florida’s punk rockers is nothing of short of pure honesty. The problem most long time fans are having is their sound has been a bit more organized, due to the fact they have went from Fat Wreck Chords to major label Sire. The band has progressed and matured, hence the move is justified. Although, I will agree the sound has changed a bit, the honesty is still there. As a matter of fact, if you listen to the lyrics, Tom expresses his views on modern rock music and all of its politics. He also includes his perspective on himself and the progression of the band. New Wave is just that; new. Asking: Are you ready to brave new directions? Truthful and meaningful, an excellent addition to your collection if you can leave behind all the “sell-out” nonsense.- Mike G. Anti-Flag- A Benefit for Victims of Violent Crime (EP) 4/5 An important and underrated band that is constantly making a social statement; this new EP portrays their attention to important, overlooked issues. The bassist Chris, has undergone a terrible tragedy when his sister fell victim to violent crime, leaving behind a young daughter and son. This EP is to benefit others who have gone through similar situations, and all proceeds will go to The Center for Victims of Violence and Crime. Also, proceeds will go to education bonds. The EP contains 5 new studio tracks and 5 live tracks. Great band, great sound, great cause. Buy it now, CDs are a limited pressing.- Mike G. Dropkick Murphys-The Meanest of Times 4/5 Boston’s own celtic punk band is back, and better than ever! The band has evolved so much over time in their long-spanning career; with their new found success into the mainstream with “I’m Shipping up to Boston”(from 2005’s The Warrior’s Code ); featured in Scorcese’s The Departed. The great 7 have proved they are here to stay with their new album. The songs will make you wanna drink, party, fight and cry. The perfect combination for a great Friday night. On top of all that, they actually have something to say, and it’s heard clearly through the raspy vocals and energetic noise-filled tunes.- Mike G. Queens of the Stone Age- Era Vulgaris 3.5/5 Against Me!- New Wave 4.5/5 Being a long time fan of Q.O.T.S.A., this album doesn’t compare to their others. Although, it’s definitely not a bad album and has certainly grown on me, it didn’t have that “instant classic” element for me. All their other albums, especially 2002’s Songs for the Deaf, became an instant classic the moment it hailed from my speakers. The same is not found here, and it sounds slightly recycled. Although, the band is constantly reinventing itself with new band members and guest appearances, there is a certain consistency that is expected. It’s just not there for me, but in no way is this a bad album. I just wouldn’t suggest starting here if you’re a new found fan. I would suggest starting with Songs For The Deaf or Rated R .- Mike G.
  18. 21. Coheed and Cambria- No World For Tommorow 4.5/5 The progressive rock band that gets progressively better on each record. Rush’s predecessors return to continue their epic story on their best, most intricate album yet. This album is perfect for new fans and continues the story for the rest of us. In no way does this fit in the “emo” genre, so please ignore that. It’s progressive alt-rock with complex guitar riffs and high pitched melodic vocals. The album is just about perfect.- Mike G . Necro- Death Rap 4/5 Necro has proved himself to be a damn good m.c. (even with a lisp), and with his new found commercial success, Death Rap showcases his skills. His low has gotten faster and his lyrics are darker than ever. If you know of Necro, you know his lyrics are hard to stomach. Even more so now because the dark humor that is usually found is hardly there now. He has found a way to mix the hip-hop community with the metal community while still running his own label. You’re probably thinking to yourself rap/rock is dead. I couldn’t agree more, but Necro has his own unique style that separates it from the norm. It’s not rock/rap, it’s death rap and it’s damn good! My only complaint is it has some tracks that fall a bit short making the album short. - Mike G. Sum 41- Underclass Hero 1/5 I’ve always liked this band, but on this album, they lost everything that you can possibly like about them. It’s boring, cliched, and degrading to themselves and their fans. They started off as pop-punk and gradually became more and more intricate as they matured. Their previous album Chuck really displayed their abilities and style. Now, not only have they gone backwards with the move back to a major label, they’ve gone beyond pop-punk. It’s now just pop, and it is as boring as can be. I have a feeling Avril Lavigne had something to do with this. Boo.- Mike G. Ween- La Cucaracha 5/5 Ween never seems to be anything short of amazing. This album is absolutely perfect from the disturbing “My Own Bare Hands” to “Your Party”; a picturesque, soulful melo-drama. The thing about Ween is their consistency through inconsistency, that makes that unique sound we expect from them. The real gem on this album is “Woman and Man”, a ten minute and them some epic. This album is nothing short of perfect. Light up and enjoy!- Mike G.
  19. 22. HORSE THE BAND A NATURAL DEATH - 3/5 PATTON OSWALT WEREWOLVES AND LOLLIPOPS - 5/5 PUSCIFER “V” IS FOR VAGINA - 2/5 RADIOHEAD IN RAINBOWS - 4/5 NICK SWARDSON PARTY - 3.5/5 Silly, pretentious dance-metal. Although, nothing gets me more pumped than a pre-programmed keyboard that sounds like Q-bert over screeching guitars and ear piercing vocals. They sound like an emo band that dropped acid…not bad but an acquired taste.- Mike G. Patton Oswalt is the funniest man alive and he proves it with this CD. Oswalt says things we only think about within our everyday lives. He attacks pop-culture, George Lucas, KFC, and my personal favorite skit, and I quote: “Paris Hilton is a cunt who should die of AIDS.” Thanks Patton.- Mike G. This CD just plain sucks. Maynard James Keenan sings songs (every song) about vaginas over bland electro-pop. If you’re twelve years old or have the mentality of a 12yo. than this CD will be hilarious, if not don’t bother! I only added a point for Milla Jovovichs’ cameo; if she’s not your cup of tea, deduct it. Keenan finally proved what a TOOL he really is.- Mike G. The infamous free download CD. Who actually paid for it? I did and it was completely worth. Another great album from a band that is constantly ahead of their time. OK computer stills holds the title as their best to me.- Mike G. Being a huge fan of Swardson and being familiar with most of his material, this CD was a bit disappointing. He is a lot funnier than this and this recording is not his prime material. It’s almost like the producers who put this together wanted to display him as a “slacker” type, which he is but that is not what he’s all about. Not his best but all in all, not bad.- Mike G.
  20. 23. DVD REVIEWS CAPTIVITY- 1/5 ROB ZOMBIE’S HALLOWEEN (DIRECTOR’S CUT)- 4.5/5 HATCHET- 3.5/5 SUPERBAD- 5/5 UNDENIABLY ONE OF THE WORST FILMS I’VE SEEN ALL YEAR. UTTERLY TERRIBLE, STUPID PLOT WITHOUT ONE SECOND OF INTELLIGENCE. ELISHA CUTHBERT HAS LOST ALL OF MY RESPECT AFTER THIS ATROCITY. THE TORTURE SCENES ARE SO SENSELESS, YOU’D RATHER BE TORTURED YOURSELF THAN TO HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS.- Mike G. Yeah, I know I gave this a lower score last issue, but the director’s cut has given it an extra point. The missing footage and the replacement of the cheesy chain-breaking scene really tied this movie together better. This was Zombie’s original vision and also includes the alternate ending separate from the movie.- Mike G. A hilarious bloody-mess of a movie, but still entertaining. Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees) plays the backwoods mutant, Victor Crowley and literally rips apart everyone in his way. Loaded with intentional clichés and horror cameos throughout. It’s no masterpiece but it’s fun.- Mike G. An instant classic and one of the funniest goddamn movies I’ve ever seen! Directed by Long Island’s own Greg Mottola, this unique comedy masterpiece will have you drawing pictures of dicks!- Mike G.
  21. 24. Film Reviews (In theaters) The Darjeeling Limited 4.5/5 Death Sentence 4/5 Eastern Promises 5/5 Rob Zombie’s Halloween 3.5/5 Three American brothers who have not spoken to each other in a year set off on a train voyage across India with a plan to find themselves and bond with each other. Another masterpiece from Wes Anderson as he returns with his greatest and most poignant film to date. It is a spiritual voyage for not only the cast but for the audience, especially if you’re spaced out on Indian pharmaceuticals. It’s unique, original, funny, heart warming, and extremely intelligent. Oh, and If anyone is a Natalie Portman fan, what are you doing reading this? Go see it, you’ll be happy you did.- Mike G. From the director of Saw , comes this brutal and upsetting revenge drama. There seems to be a bit of logic lost in the plot and a bit of realism taken out of the story. I believe this was done on purpose and became very effective in the film, due to the fact that the story itself is unimaginable. A regular working man played by Kevin Bacon is forced into a nightmare situation by a gang leader played by Garrett Hedlund. The film forces the audience to choose between what is right and what is wrong. Is there no length too great when protecting our family? Death Sentence is breathtaking, intense, and a true horror story.- Mike G. Masterful director David Cronenberg never ceases to amaze me. In Eastern Promises , Viggo Mortenson plays a damaged man who has ties with London’s most powerful organized crime family. Now that evidence has unintentionally been uncovered, he must find retribution through deceit and murder. A knife fight scene and a flawless performance by Mortensen that you will never forget. Never.- Mike G. Reinventing Michael Myers would be a more suitable name for the Halloween “remake”. Rob Zombie tried to give a movie monster a soul through his new rendition. We get to see Michael as a child for the first half of the film, which was the better half to me. It’s a shame it fell apart a bit at the end due to editing and an alternate ending, which was more MPAA friendly. It was a good effort and idea, and we see that Zombie can direct. Although, he proved that on Devil’s Rejects, which is arguably his best work. I agree.- Mike G.
  22. 25. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN- 5/5 The Coen Brothers once again prove they are here to stay with this modern day masterpiece. The Coen’s refuse to cater to today’s audiences and go outside of the box by breaking every rule and every cliche`. This movie isn’t for everyone and if you are not prepared to think at all, go see some crapfest at your local multiplex. Javier Bardem’s on-screen presence is so explosive, he’ll make you cringe with joy. A perfect and complex film on every level.- Mike G. SWEENY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET- 4/5 Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Sweeney Todd is nothing short of perfect and having Tim Burton direct was the best idea since cling wrap! Musicals are not my bag but this one is pitch-perfect! Oh…and it’s bloody as hell!- Mike G. BOOK REVIEWS CHUCK KLOSTERMAN IV: A DECADE OF CURIOUS PEOPLE AND DANGEROUS IDEAS- 4.5/5 Albeit a terrible, but short introduction of a high school basketball game, this compilation of interviews, essays, and memoirs is one the most entertaining books you will ever read.-Mike G. GOD IS NOT GREAT- 3.5/5 No he is not, but the book is close. Basically a book that shows how religion is major cause of problems throughout the world and throughout time. Fascinating but a bit short-handed. I’d still recommend to anyone that thinks religion is bullshit or vice versa.- Mike G.
  23. 26. A snuff re-enactment too real: Snuff 102 by Mike Gruttola But is it a re-enactment? Is it real? In Mariano Peralta’s Snuff 102 we get a plot-less low budget re-enactment of a snuff film. Some people, including myself do not believe this is a re-enactment. How could you with a tagline like “why be moral...If we can be anonymous”? Now we all know the snuff film is an urban myth and anyone familiar with the genre knows of August Underground and the Guinea Pig series, which have been proven fakes. The validity of Snuff 102 is still under the microscope. Well, I did a little research myself and found one bit of information extremely disturbing. All of the “actors” listed in the credits, have either done only this film or Snuff 102 is the last one they have done. This Argentinian underground hardcore gore film has caused a huge uproar, actually causing real life consequences for the director. When it premiered at the Mar Del Plata International Film Festival in 2007, a member of the audience stormed out of the theater before the end of the film and attacked the director. The extreme nature of the film's website and teasers caused shock among some people who asked for the removal of it, with an avalanche of hate-mail being sent to the production team responsible for the site. The website keeps moving around and changing, so good luck finding it if you’re interested. So, could this all be a ploy or a grand publicity stunt? Well, like everyone else you have to judge for yourself. I haven’t seen the film in it’s entirety, but through extensive research I have seen it all in clips. It’s not pretty and extremely hard to watch, and hard to believe it’s fake. I’ve tried to get in touch with the director and have gotten zero responses. The director claims it is a “mixture of real and imaginary, documental and fiction...reality can be much more disturbing than any special effect.” The responses, the violent lashings at film festivals, and banned websites have also had the film banned for the time being. "ABSOLUTELY DISTURBING AND CRUEL..." - CINENCUENTRO.COM "ARGENTINE GORE CINEMA HAS REACHED A PEAK NEVER TOUCHED BEFORE WITH THIS FILM" - ZONAFREAK.COM.AR "A COMBINATION OF EXTREME VIOLENCE AND LOW BUDGET, UNSUITED FOR PEOPLE WITH A HEARTCONDITION"- MAR DEL PLATA FILM FESTIVAL
  24. 27. Former Early November Drummer Moves on And Is Happier Than Ever by Matthew Calamia Being in a relationship takes a lot of hard work and commitment. You need to give and take, and spend a great amount of time with that person to make things work. You also need to know when to call it quits. The same can be said for being in a band. Jeff Kummer of Your Sweet Uncertainty (ex The Early November) knows this first hand. Since TEN’s breakup in May, Kummer has focused solely on YSU, which is Kummer (drums), Steve Nakovich (guitar.vocals), Mike Klemash (bass) and Sean Norris (guitar).
  25. 28. Matt Calamia: First thanks for doing this for the newspaper, we really appreciate it. Jeff: Thanks. I really appreciate you reaching out. M: How was the recording process for the debut record? J: Recording our record went smoother than any session I’ve ever done before. We were extremely prepared and had a really good idea of what we wanted the record to come out like. In the end, I think it shows. M: You guys first formed back in 2004…what made you come back and take the band more serious? J: Well first, The Early November broke up. At that same time, Finding Westerly [rest of band’s old band] was on the outs. So we let go of the past and focused on the future. I asked Steve [Nakovich] about starting something new, careless, and fun… which is what we all needed at that time. I think all things happen for a reason. M: How does it feel playing shows and making a record with guys other than your friends from TEN? J: If it was with anyone else, it would be extremely hard to start a band after TEN. What made starting this band so easy were the friendships we had coming into it. I started my first band with the guys in YSU. I’ve known them my whole life. Sure there are things that will always be different, but for the most part, playing with these guys comes really natural. M: You guys recently played your first live show… How was the response? J: It was pretty close to how I imagined it. I knew we weren’t going to go out and play a gigantic show. We booked the show at a small club, and it filled out really good. A bunch of friends, family, and fans showed up. I can honestly say I don’t think one person there had a bad time, and that’s exactly what I wanted.
  26. 29. M: What should people expect when they see YSU live? J: Expect to be part of the show. M: Is there one person in the band who writes the music, and another write the lyrics, or is it a joint process among all the members? J: Steve writes all the lyrics and pretty much all music. The cool thing is, he is never opposed to using the bands ideas to contribute to a song. We all have input and there is a big deal of respect that goes into each song. M: How has MySpace helped you guys gain a fanbase? J: MySpace is about 80% responsible for the fanbase we have. Things are different now. I don’t fight change, I learn to deal with it and keep my integrity. MySpace is a great thing for bands right now. M: Any talks of a record deal coming up? J: If there was, we wouldn’t be going around talking about it yet. M: Any talks of a tour in the near future? J: Touring is in the works. I won’t put this band on tour unless I am confident it will do well. I want to put together a good package when we head out. No one wants to go see a bunch of bands that don’t make sense together. Matt Calamia: Thanks a lot Jeff, we really appreciate you doing this for us. Jeff: Thanks. I really appreciate you reaching out.
  27. 30. Hipster Porn: A New Generation by Mike Gruttola In the establishment of pornography, it’s extremely rare to see any artistic value within the content. Vivid Alt goes beyond the cliche` of standard porn bringing quality artistic value and decent story lines that could actually be considered indie films, but with lots of graphic sex. The genre, which is all in it’s own, tends to lean towards a hipster audience and for those who are into the art school chick or the alternative girl. Each film is made by each director with their own artistic view and design giving each production a unique and captivating presence. Eon McKay runs the company along with Vivid productions. So if you like tatted, pierced, and punky chicks, check this out! www.vividalt.com

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