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Adventures Of Orange World


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Adventures Of Orange World

  1. 1. Adventures Of Orange World Foreword This book is hard to get used to, so I will show you some things that are not easy to get by yourself. Each chapter will have a different main charecter eg. (phylis) after the number of the chapter. Don’t try to understand this book , it’s just not going to happen. There are characters with the same name a lot of the time, I am sorry, I try quite hard to explain which of the charecters is being mentioned in the story, but most of the time I fail, adding to the effect of this book. Most importantly this book : Advetures of orange world , is the colour orange NOT the fruit. 1 This story begins on a train. Five people are on that train, these people are called : Phylis, Maynard, Brain, Laeve and Le Dans. You see these five people are very bad at chosing trains that have more or less then five people on them so they are used to just looking around and doing nothing. All of them have their own carriage except for Laeve and Phylis share a carriage. The chair Le Dans is sitting on
  2. 2. is very uncomfortable but he is not going to get up and change the seat he is sitiing on because of a knee injury. Phylis is a man, Born a man , Born a Phylis, but for no reason whatsoever he is pregnant. Phylis is sitting beside a stranger, to him, Laeve… he has the whole train but he is sitting beside Laeve. Phylis is funny that way. Just last week he was at a carnival and he dropped his chips on the floor. Laeve wants Phylis to move but wont say anything. Laeve doesn’t like the smell of Phylis’ uncle one bit. (phylis’ uncle is a musician) Maynard, however has no uncle or sisters. Oh how maynard wishes he could set up a mustard company that goes well and makes a good profit, oh how he wishes his best friend was good at checkers. But little did Maynard know his wish will come true. Maynard will set up a mustard company that goes well and makes a good profit, but that is later in the story. Brain doesn’t like mustard. Brain has arthritus. So now you know everyone on the train why don’t you put down the book, take a break and buy a chicken roll with lettuce and then… Start reading the book again. 2 Phylis Phylis had a baby just a second ago. It was a girl. He named his baby Laeve, because He was sitting beside Laeve on the train, Anyway…… Phylis did not like his baby Laeve, he thought that Laeve was a crap name so he decided to give Laeve (His baby) away to a fish merchant. The train stopped. “You might want to change that baby’s nappy”said Laeve (Pronounced Lay-v) walking out of the train. “She looks like she could lay an egg.” Laeve laughed (Not The Baby) and left the train. Phylis didn’t laugh, Phylis didn’t get that joke, and to be honest neither did I. Just then a fish merchant entered the train as the train started to move again. Phylis swapped her baby for 2 cod fish and a ds game. “Tis’ a fine salmon” The merchant said.
  3. 3. Phylis decided to go to the carriage next to his. While he was walking there he dropped his notebook. In the next carriage there was only one person a woman. A mangy cat sitting on the woman’s head. As Phylis walked around to the woman he realized it was a man. A stupid annoying man. He sat across from the him so he was facing the man. “There is a cat on your head.”Phylis pointed out “A mangy cat” The man, who was called Le Dans looked at Phylis, Then looked up. “mmm I can’t see it.” Then Phylis told Le Dans something out of the blue. Phylis told Le Dans his date of birth. “Oh you mean this cat on my head?”Le Dans asked “Yes that’s the one I was thinking about, yes.” Phylis replied. “Mmmm yeah I see it know... ... ...” Le Dans said patting his head. “Are you going to do something about it then?” Phylis asked, “Mmmm well I do have a knee injury, and I’m very annoying and stupid so... ... ... no.”About 24 seconds after Le Dans said that Phylis realized she had left the stove on at home and she probably should go back and switch it off. **************** Phylis had just reached his house in time to see the last flames die out. Phylis’ house just burned down. Everything Phylis owned he kept in his house. He didn’t believe in storage or banks he kept it all in a safe in his house. A safe made out of newspaper and wood. A safe he filled with all his most precious items, all his money and most importantly 4 large candles, the roof of the safe was very low. That was his own fault for insisting on making a safe out of newspaper and wood. But it was lucky he blew out the candles before he left, it must have been the stove he left on the burnt his house down... So he thought, but the truth was the local arsonist had burnt his house down. At that moment a horse carriage went past him. All his stuff had been burnt down and still people were happy enough to just go around in horse carriages, cruel. Just cruel. Then it hit him wasn’t he number 12 not 21. Silly Phylis got the numbers mixed up. After he walked over to his house, he was relieved to see it still standing. He went in putting the keys in the robbers hand before closing the door. The house smelt of dog,kites,vegans and flutes yep
  4. 4. it was his house alright. He went to the kitchen and opened the back door waiting for his dog to come racing in to greet him... but then he realized he sold his dog for some chewing gum. He drank some juice. Slept. Had a shower. Had another shower. Had another shower and then bought a dictionary online. While he was searching amazon for a cool new dictionary he found another cool book called “How to be a married man in 48 minutes” He bought that aswell as a cool new dictionary. “Oh no.. .. .. .. .. .. my job interview!!!” he said to himself. You see it turns out Phylis was on the way to a job interview, when he was on the train and, seeing he came home, had no way of getting there in time. He was training to be CD cover creating machine maker, until he found out there is no such thing. So he was going to a job interview to see if he would get the part of a ‘Broken tap fixer’in the orange palace. In Orange World. If he didn’t get this job... He would be spiced alive. He was at the street, maybe a taxi could get him there in time. He decided against taking a chance and took the passenger bee. It was always faster than a taxi. There were a few waiting around he took the first he saw. While his bee was buzzing it’s way to the job interview he thought about his friend’s sister’s tennis coach. He was wondering why he was thinking about that, than he realized it was because the tennis coach was sitting across from him. “Oh hi…” Phylis started. “You are my friends sisters tennis coach,” I pointed out. The man just stared blankly ahead. “Uh... Hello?” Phylis tried again. But still he looked right ahead. The man sitting next to Phylis was definitely called Maynard. He spoke. “That mans name is Ali-Ali.” Maynard said. “But why is he not talking back to me when I ask him a question?” Phylis asked. “Who said I’m not answering?” said Ali-Ali. It was pretty strange. Phylis gave Ali-Ali his number and got off the passenger bee. Great! He was there on time. He looked around so this was Orange World. Everyone was always talking about Orange World. All the great adventures people had when they went to Orange World. The Adventures Of Orange World. Phylis wondered if he would have an Adventure Of Orange World. Little did he know this was his Adventure Of Orange World. He entered the palace. This was Orange Palace the one and only. Wow. Phylis thought. What an honour. He was greeted immediately. “My name is Ohylis pronounced “Oh-Lis” I will do your job interview.” They headed to a private room. “Oh and by the way,” Started Ohylis, “Your uncle…
  5. 5. you know him?” “Yeah sure everyone knows Fritzy!” Phylis spat on the carpet. “Good old Fritzy don’t know nothin’ that aint’ said by someone who aint’ sayin’ nothin’.” Phylis spat again. “Good ol’ Fritzy… He don’t have nothin’ that aint’ made by someone who a-“ “Yes that’s him,” Ohylis cut off Phylis. “Well I thought I might tell you Fritzy’s Second Wife’s Aunty’s Cousin is married to my grandfather’s second cousin, I thought I’d let you know that when I was born Fritzy was there to give me my name, seeing my parents were too busy running a company. Anyway Fritzy wanted to name me Phylis you see but at the time could not write p’s correctly so ended up naming me Ohylis, I was a failure. The wannabe Phylis but not quite the real deal. I was just Ohylis. So I remember Fritzy learned how to write P’s. It was too late for me, but for you Phylis you had just been born. You had no name because you parents were too busy running a company.” “Devon Rubbergreen and Susan Greenrubber’s pool chalk company.” Phylis remembered. “That’s it,” Ohylis began again, “So Fritzy came along and did to you what he couldn’t for you. Give you a real name. Ohylis isn’t a name, but Phylis…-“ “Don’t think you are so lucky, I mean Phylis is a girls name so, it’s not as good as you think it is.” “Stop talking, save it for the interview.” Ohylis dragged Phylis into the interviewing room. There were 4 people sitting at a desk waiting for Phylis. “ Good Luck “ said Ohylis , then he dissapeared and all that was left were 18 kitchen knives. “Go!” Shouted one of the inteviewers. Interviewer 1 started: “Okay welcome to Orange Palace, la-la-la and why do you feel you should get the job as a broken tap fixer?” “Well,” Started Phylis, “I can fix taps and I love honey and-“ Interviewer 3 butted in “How can a towel break?” A trick question but could Phylis deal with it? “Bang!” Shouted Phylis. Everyone stared at him. “Bang, It just…. Bang!” A Bad start. “Moving on” Started Interviewer 2, “If you can tell us, Phylis, what letter comes after U in the latin alphabet you get the job.” Phylis didn’t even pause to think. “That’s V!” He said. Everyone paused. “Do you worship The Ultimate V?” Asked Interviewer 1. “And are you an egg?” Asked Interviwer 3. “Yes and No.” replied Phylis. Interviewer 2 stood up and walked over to Phylis. He took a sticker out and gave it to Phylis. On the sticker it read clearly ‘You got the job, now make me something out of clay’ “Wow thanks!” Phylis said, “But do I have to make something out of clay?” “No” said interviewer 4 “I made that sticker for a potter, but then he changed his profession, and because he is more important
  6. 6. than you I went through the bother of making a brand new one for him, and I didn’t lift a finger for you.” ****************