Scene opens with the door slamming and Wally entering the room, Mackenzie seated and
playing World of Warcraft on his computer.
Mack: What. [sounding uninterested and only half listening.]
Wally: Bitch dumped me.
Mack: Yeah, dump her. [still half listening.]
Wally: [glares at Mack for a few seconds.] Idiot, stop playing this game, you’ve done
nothing but play it for the past three days.
Mack: I’m level 74.
Mack: And I’m almost 75.
Wally: [gets up and closes the laptop then stares at Mack.] Mack, I just got dumped and
I’m already happier than you are. And you got dumped three days ago. All you’ve been
doing is sitting here vegging in front of this screen.
Mack: When I stop playing the game, and go back to real life, I just feel like crying.
[Pause, the two just looking at each other, Mack tearing up, the camera angle perhaps
changing so the pause feels longer.]
Wally: [Stares at Mack for a few seconds, as Mack tears up.]
Play your stupid game.
[Wally opens the laptop back up. Mack starts smiling again, and goes back to half
listening. Wally storms over to the bed and lays down angrily.]
But first thing tomorrow, you and I are going and doing something. I refuse to be
defeated by girls.
Mack: Yeah sure, we can raid tomorrow.
Wally: You’re an idiot.
Mack: I love you too.
Wally: Shut up and let me sleep.
Scene opens in the shack, Mack sleeping on his computer, WoW still on. Wally sleeping
but just waking up.
Wally: [Sits up and rubs his eyes, looks over and sees Mack sleeping at his desk. He just
sighs, and gets up, and leaves the shack.]
[Scene ends with door closing.]
Scene opens with Wally and Mack seated at the kitchen counter, eating breakfast.
Wally: [Speaking with food in his mouth, swallows the food in the middle of line.] So,
today I’m thinking we head down to the club, and get some girls. What, do you think?
Mack: [Stares morosely forward past the camera, chewing his food slowly and
Wally: Yeah, omkay. [Like how Jason says okay, LOL]
Mack: I was um. Yeah okay, that sounds fine. I need to go down to the mall today before
Wally: Yeah, alright. Just don’t leave your balls anywhere. [Waits for a second.] OH
WAIT, THAT’S RIGHT, LOL.
Mack: [Takes a swig of his drink, then gets up and walks out of frame.]
Wally: Hey, hey come on. Come on. Mack. [Looks off camera where Mack left for a bit.]
So you’re not coming back? [Waits for a second, then quietly says] Good, cause I’m
eating your toast, queerbank.
Scene opens with Mack in the car driving, the camera not quite focused on his face,
instead it just gets part of his body, particularly his hands moving as he drives.
Mack: [Soft quiet song plays in the background.] [Voice over.] So I’m Mackenzie. That
beautiful man from earlier is Wally, my roommate. We live in that shack in Mr. And Mrs.
Tulip’s backyard. It’s not much. And it has no bathroom. But we’re not that rich, so it’s
all we can afford. Three days ago the girl of my dreams left me over the phone, saying
she wasn’t ready for anything serious. Never mind the fact we’d been dating for two
years, and after about a year it’s widely accepted as a serious relationship, but whatever.
Anyways, then last night Wally’s significant other left him. He usually isn’t all obsessed
with meeting girls and one-night stands and all that, but I guess that’s how he’s reacting
to the break up. I personally just leveled my Undead Rogue. Totally worth it. I’m almost
eighty. But that’s besides the point, I’m at the mall. [Mack parks the car then gets out.]
Scene opens in the mall, with Mack walking about browsing and looking at things.
Mack: [Voice over.] Truth be told, I don’t really need anything here. I just wanted to get
out of the shack and get some fresh air. And the- [Mack sees a pretty girl walking about
on the other side of the mall, he looks fascinated with her, and says, not voice over, but
says.] Oh shit. [Mack, voice over.] She was beautiful. [Pause, as Mack walks around,
glancing at her.] Problem was, I’m captain awkward. I’m bad at starting conversations
and asking girls out. If the girl who had broken up with me hadn’t asked me out, we’d
have never dated. [Mack says, not voice over.] Okay, come on Kenzy, you can do this.
You’re Mackenzie, granted you’re kind of awkward and bashful, and shy, and weird,
[Mack looks off in the distance, and kind of squints as he thinks of how negative he’s
being to himself], use it to your advantage. Just go over there, act casual, and say hi. Then
ask her out to the club with you and Wally tonight. It’ll be fine. You can do this. Yeah.
Yeah, I got this. [Mack starts to walk over, still muttering things to keep his confidence
up, he walks off of the frame.]
Scene opens with Mack in the shack with a blanket wrapped around him, used and
scrunched up tissues surrounding him, and he’s eating a pint of ice cream as he watches
Wally: [Walks in through the door and sees Mack.] No. You tried to ask a girl out didn’t
Mack: [Just stares at the movie, eating his ice cream.]
Wally: God dammit Mack, if you’re vagina was any tighter I’d put coal in it. [Wally sits
down next to him and watches the movie.]
Mack: [Keeps eating, then looks perplexed, then looks over at Wally.] Why would you
put coal in my vagina?
Wally: Cause you’d make them diamonds. [He says casually, reaching over and eating
some ice cream.]
Mack: [Shrugs, seeing what Wally meant. They both sit there for a while more watching
Wally: So what happened?
[Scene flashes back to Mack at the mall.]
Mack: [Walks up to the girl, awkwardly and slowly.]
Girl: [Looks over at him, faintly smiles.]
Mack: [Smiles back at her, squirming in place, then makes some awkward audible noise,
then runs away off frame.]
Girl: [Looks around, confused.]
[Scene returns to Wally and Mack in the shack.]
Mack: Yeah. Thanks [sarcastic]. [The two sit there, watching the movie for a bit.] So,
we’re not going club-
Wally: No. [Interrupting Mack.] I am not taking you with me to the club.
Mack: Heh, thanks, I appreciate you staying here with me.
Wally: [Makes a gross face at Mack.] What!? Gay! I’m going to the club alone, I’m not
bringing you with me. You’d make all the girls kill themselves from how depressed you
are. [Gets up and grabs a coat, then leaves shack.]
Mack: [Eats ice cream and stares at the movie.] Yeah, he has a point. [Said with a mouth
full of ice cream.]