Smoky Mountain Marriage Retreat: Rock solid foundations managing conflict

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Smoky Mountain Marriage Retreat: Rock solid foundations managing conflict

  1. 1. Level One. A Difficult Day. <ul><li>1. Don’t pretend you can read minds </li></ul>
  2. 2. Level One. A Difficult Day. <ul><li>1. Don’t pretend you can read minds </li></ul><ul><li>2. Don’t get historical </li></ul>
  3. 3. Level One. A Difficult Day. <ul><li>1. Don’t pretend you can read minds </li></ul><ul><li>2. Don’t get historical </li></ul><ul><li>3. Don’t exaggerate </li></ul>
  4. 4. Level One. A Difficult Day. <ul><li>1. Don’t pretend you can read minds </li></ul><ul><li>2. Don’t get historical </li></ul><ul><li>3. Don’t exaggerate </li></ul><ul><li>4. Keep this between us </li></ul>
  5. 5. Level One. A Difficult Day. <ul><li>1. Don’t pretend you can read minds </li></ul><ul><li>2. Don’t get historical </li></ul><ul><li>3. Don’t exaggerate </li></ul><ul><li>4. Keep this between us </li></ul><ul><li>5. Don’t manipulate with sex </li></ul>
  6. 6. Level One. A Difficult Day. <ul><li>1. Don’t pretend you can read minds </li></ul><ul><li>2. Don’t get historical </li></ul><ul><li>3. Don’t exaggerate </li></ul><ul><li>4. Keep this between us </li></ul><ul><li>5. Don’t manipulate with sex </li></ul><ul><li>6. Apologize well </li></ul>
  7. 7. Level Two: A Problem That Keeps Resurfacing
  8. 8. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Husbands: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid the desire to resolve issues. </li></ul>
  9. 9. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Husbands: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid the desire to resolve issues. </li></ul><ul><li>Let her be the one to initiate intimacy. </li></ul>
  10. 10. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Husbands: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid the desire to resolve issues. </li></ul><ul><li>Let her be the one to initiate intimacy. </li></ul><ul><li>Try to ease her workload. </li></ul>
  11. 11. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Husbands: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid the desire to resolve issues. </li></ul><ul><li>Let her be the one to initiate intimacy. </li></ul><ul><li>Try to ease her workload. </li></ul><ul><li>Do not minimize your faults in the temptation to blame all problems on P.M.S.. </li></ul>
  12. 12. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Husbands: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid the desire to resolve issues. </li></ul><ul><li>Let her be the one to initiate intimacy. </li></ul><ul><li>Try to ease her workload. </li></ul><ul><li>Do not minimize your faults in the temptation to blame all problems on P.M.S.. </li></ul><ul><li>Give her time away from the children. </li></ul>
  13. 13. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Husbands: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid the desire to resolve issues. </li></ul><ul><li>Let her be the one to initiate intimacy. </li></ul><ul><li>Try to ease her workload. </li></ul><ul><li>Do not minimize your faults in the temptation to blame all problems on P.M.S.. </li></ul><ul><li>Give her time away from the children. </li></ul><ul><li>Pray about this. </li></ul>
  14. 14. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>1. Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul>
  15. 15. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark your calendar. Predict it. </li></ul>
  16. 16. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark your calendar. Predict it. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell your husband that difficult moments are coming for you. </li></ul>
  17. 17. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark your calendar. Predict it. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell your husband that difficult moments are coming for you. </li></ul><ul><li>Seek a physician’s help. </li></ul>
  18. 18. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark your calendar. Predict it. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell your husband that difficult moments are coming for you. </li></ul><ul><li>Seek a physician’s help. </li></ul><ul><li>Pray about this. </li></ul>
  19. 19. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark your calendar. Predict it. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell your husband that difficult moments are coming for you. </li></ul><ul><li>Seek a physician’s help. </li></ul><ul><li>Pray about this. </li></ul><ul><li>Exercise all through the month, especially during these days. </li></ul>
  20. 20. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark your calendar. Predict it. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell your husband that difficult moments are coming for you. </li></ul><ul><li>Seek a physician’s help. </li></ul><ul><li>Pray about this. </li></ul><ul><li>Exercise all through the month, especially during these days. </li></ul><ul><li>Stay in God’s book. </li></ul>
  21. 21. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>Be aware that P.M.S. is not a license to sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Mark your calendar. Predict it. </li></ul><ul><li>Tell your husband that difficult moments are coming for you. </li></ul><ul><li>Seek a physician’s help. </li></ul><ul><li>Pray about this. </li></ul><ul><li>Exercise all through the month, especially during these days. </li></ul><ul><li>Stay in God’s book. </li></ul><ul><li>Be careful not to let P.M.S. make you abusive toward your children or husband. </li></ul>
  22. 22. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>9. Don’t Make important decisions. </li></ul>
  23. 23. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>9. Don’t Make important decisions. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t over-schedule yourself. </li></ul>
  24. 24. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>9. Don’t Make important decisions. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t over-schedule yourself. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t consume excessive caffeine. </li></ul>
  25. 25. The P.M.s.Rules <ul><li>Wives: During this time, </li></ul><ul><li>9. Don’t Make important decisions. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t over-schedule yourself. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t consume excessive caffeine. </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t express things you can’t stand about your husband. Wait five days. Don’t express those things to anyone at this time, except the Lord. </li></ul>
  26. 26. Level Three: We Disagree About The Lord.
  27. 27. Level Four: Trust Is Broken
  28. 28. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>What to do: </li></ul><ul><li>1. Turn to God in prayer and Bible study. </li></ul>
  29. 29. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>What to do: </li></ul><ul><li>1. Turn to God in prayer and Bible study. </li></ul><ul><li>2. Decide if you want to rebuild or not (Adultery only). </li></ul>
  30. 30. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>What to do: </li></ul><ul><li>1. Turn to God in prayer and Bible study. </li></ul><ul><li>2. Decide if you want to rebuild or not (Adultery only). </li></ul><ul><li>3. Expect this to take time inside of you. </li></ul>
  31. 31. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>What to do: </li></ul><ul><li>1. Turn to God in prayer and Bible study. </li></ul><ul><li>2. Decide if you want to rebuild or not (Adultery only). </li></ul><ul><li>3. Expect this to take time inside of you. </li></ul><ul><li>4. Set conditions for the offending mate. </li></ul>
  32. 32. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>Set conditions for the offending mate: </li></ul><ul><li>Immediate severing of all unseemly relationships. </li></ul>
  33. 33. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>Set conditions for the offending mate: </li></ul><ul><li>Immediate severing of all unseemly relationships. </li></ul><ul><li>Questions answered without frustration. </li></ul>
  34. 34. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>Set conditions for the offending mate: </li></ul><ul><li>Immediate severing of all unseemly relationships. </li></ul><ul><li>Questions answered without frustration. </li></ul><ul><li>Christian counseling </li></ul>
  35. 35. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>Set conditions for the offending mate: </li></ul><ul><li>Immediate severing of all unseemly relationships. </li></ul><ul><li>Questions answered without frustration. </li></ul><ul><li>Christian counseling </li></ul><ul><li>Outside accountability partner. </li></ul>
  36. 36. Level Four: Trust Is Broken <ul><li>Set conditions for the offending mate: </li></ul><ul><li>Immediate severing of all unseemly relationships. </li></ul><ul><li>Questions answered without frustration. </li></ul><ul><li>Christian counseling </li></ul><ul><li>Outside accountability partner. </li></ul><ul><li>Full access to passwords, e-mail, history, etc. </li></ul>

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