Keeping The Peace
Peace Made Must Be Kept
In Christ and In Marriage
• Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in
the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).
Unity Must Be Kept In Peace
• Endeavoring –
• 1) to hasten, make haste
• 2) to exert one’s self, endeavour, give
diligence...
• Unity –
• 1) unity
• 2) unanimity, agreement
• Bond –
• 1) that which binds together, a band, bond.
• 1a) of ligaments b...
• Peace • 1) a state of national tranquility.
• 1a) exemption from the rage and havoc of
war.
• 2) peace between individua...
Scripture Compares Christ and Church To Marriage
Ephesians 5 follows ch. 4:1-6
• Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should
submit in everything to their hu...
In Christ and in Marriage
Keeping The Peace Takes:
Effort

Endeavoring

Focus

To Keep

Agreement

Unity

Adhesive

Bond

...
Reasons We Must Keep The Peace
Peace Is Fragile
Peace Is Impacted By Perception
I believe I am in Hell, therefore I am.

Arthur Rimbaud
I am in harmony with all of the people, places
and things that surround me in this world. I am
at peace.

Unknown
Perception Is Powerful

• Perception is not reality; but it is your reality!
Perception Can Be Challenging
Perception Can Be Impacted
By Our Surroundings
You Are What You Think You Are
You can’t change the past, only your perception
of it; but you can control the future.

Steven Redhead
What Do You See
When You Look In The Mirror?

The Most Important Thing Is How You See Yourself
Importance and Power of Words
• Our words reveal our thoughts.
• Our thoughts produce our actions.

• Our actions produce ...
Perception Profoundly Impacts Feelings
. . . Baylor University psychologists recently
interviewed 3,539 married couples. They asked
a lot of relationship questio...
• But, after the data had been carefully
analyzed, it turned out that the tension that
actually led to the fight itself al...
• Logic will never change emotion or
perception.
Edward De Bono
Two Types Of Questions
How might the answers affect peace
• Does my spouse love me?

• Does my spouse support me?
• Does my spouse believe in me?

• Does my spouse respect me?
• Do...
• Do I feel like my spouse loves me?
• Do I feel like my spouse supports me?
• Do I feel like my spouse believes in me?
• ...
• Each of us perceives something about every
question and it is our perception that we live.
We live what we feel!
Our fee...
Peace Made Must Be Kept Because Of
The Way Peace Is Made
Warning
Most People Never Reach Peace
You might not be keeping the peace at all, you
may have just stopped fighting.
A Peace Treaty
• A peace treaty is an agreement between
two or more hostile parties, usually
countries or governments, which formally
end...
Armistice
Peace
• It is different from an armistice, which is
an agreement to stop hostilities.
Surrender
• or a surrender, in which an army agrees
to give up arms,
Cease Fire
• or a ceasefire (truce) in which the parties
may agree to temporarily or permanently
stop fighting.
Ways To Keep The Peace
When The Peace Is Tested
Understand Your Partner's Love Language
Understand Your Partner's Love Language
• According to Dr. Gary Chapman, we each have a
primary "love language" that helps...
Apologize Effectively
Apologize Effectively
• You may have done a few things to hurt your partner
unintentionally, but knowing how to apologize ...
Apologize immediately
• Apologize immediately – Once the discussion
or argument is over, if you’re at fault,
apologize and begin getting over it...
• But all that does is slow the healing process.
Be adult about it and consider the good of the
relationship. The longer t...
Understand How to Accept an Apology
Understand How to Accept an Apology
Luke 17:3
• When your spouse apologizes to you, be sure to accept
the apology without ...
Communicate Constantly
Communicate Constantly
Romans 12:10
• Communication is one of the most basic ways you
can keep peace with your spouse. Onl...
Keep your molehills at a molehill level
Ephesians 4:26; Matthew 5:25-26
• Most arguments can be settled before they even start
if situations are addressed quickly...
Constant communication
Colossians 3:19
• Constant communication is often talked about in
relationships, but only in the sense of making sure peop...
Don’t Make Conversations Interrogations
Never be afraid to ask for what you want
• There’s no need to be shy now. . . You now
have certain rights and expectations. You also
have needs that should be met....
• Most times, a simple conversation could’ve
solved that problem. Once you’re in a committed
relationship, there’s no more...
Keep articles/books like this in perspective
• . . . Columns and books like this one serve a purpose, but it isn’t
suppose...
Things That Seek To Destroy Your Peace
Warning The Following Is Graphic
The Following Are Potential Threats To
Keeping The...
Arguments Over Babies Can Disrupt Peace
Fatigue Caring For Babies Can Disrupt Peace
Lack of Sex After Babies Can Disrupt Peace
Threats To Peace – Proceed With Caution
A Second Threat To Peace
I’m tired of home projects, well it’s a dream
home and I’m still dreaming!
You said you were handy, I didn’t mean with a
hammer.
I’ll paint just please tell me what color.
I said I do to you, not to house projects
well then hire someone.
Final Threat To Peace
Technology Can Disrupt Peace
No i’m not busy go ahead
Peace Made Must Be Kept
Make sure you are striving to Keep the Peace you
worked so hard to achieve.
Keeping the Peace
Keeping the Peace
Keeping the Peace
Upcoming SlideShare
Loading in …5
×

Keeping the Peace

886 views

Published on

Published in: Spiritual
0 Comments
0 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Views
Total views
886
On SlideShare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
307
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
9
Comments
0
Likes
0
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Keeping the Peace

  1. 1. Keeping The Peace
  2. 2. Peace Made Must Be Kept In Christ and In Marriage
  3. 3. • Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).
  4. 4. Unity Must Be Kept In Peace • Endeavoring – • 1) to hasten, make haste • 2) to exert one’s self, endeavour, give diligence. • To Keep – • 1) to attend to carefully, take care of • 1a) to guard.
  5. 5. • Unity – • 1) unity • 2) unanimity, agreement • Bond – • 1) that which binds together, a band, bond. • 1a) of ligaments by which the members of the human body are united together. • 2) that which is bound together, a bundle.
  6. 6. • Peace • 1) a state of national tranquility. • 1a) exemption from the rage and havoc of war. • 2) peace between individuals, i.e. harmony, concord.
  7. 7. Scripture Compares Christ and Church To Marriage
  8. 8. Ephesians 5 follows ch. 4:1-6 • Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. • "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
  9. 9. In Christ and in Marriage Keeping The Peace Takes: Effort Endeavoring Focus To Keep Agreement Unity Adhesive Bond Goal Peace
  10. 10. Reasons We Must Keep The Peace
  11. 11. Peace Is Fragile
  12. 12. Peace Is Impacted By Perception
  13. 13. I believe I am in Hell, therefore I am. Arthur Rimbaud
  14. 14. I am in harmony with all of the people, places and things that surround me in this world. I am at peace. Unknown
  15. 15. Perception Is Powerful • Perception is not reality; but it is your reality!
  16. 16. Perception Can Be Challenging
  17. 17. Perception Can Be Impacted By Our Surroundings
  18. 18. You Are What You Think You Are
  19. 19. You can’t change the past, only your perception of it; but you can control the future. Steven Redhead
  20. 20. What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror? The Most Important Thing Is How You See Yourself
  21. 21. Importance and Power of Words • Our words reveal our thoughts. • Our thoughts produce our actions. • Our actions produce our lives. • You are what you think, you think the words you use, you live the words you think!
  22. 22. Perception Profoundly Impacts Feelings
  23. 23. . . . Baylor University psychologists recently interviewed 3,539 married couples. They asked a lot of relationship questions related to the subject matter of their arguments. These researchers were trying to understand why couples fight. The assumption had been that the results would point to the usual culprits – money, sex, etc.
  24. 24. • But, after the data had been carefully analyzed, it turned out that the tension that actually led to the fight itself almost always related to the deeper issues of whether the partners felt understood or valued. • one person either feels neglected or controlled.
  25. 25. • Logic will never change emotion or perception. Edward De Bono
  26. 26. Two Types Of Questions How might the answers affect peace
  27. 27. • Does my spouse love me? • Does my spouse support me? • Does my spouse believe in me? • Does my spouse respect me? • Does my spouse care about my feelings, dreams and ideas? • Does my spouse desire me?
  28. 28. • Do I feel like my spouse loves me? • Do I feel like my spouse supports me? • Do I feel like my spouse believes in me? • Do I feel like my spouse respects me? • Do I feel like my spouse cares about my feelings, dreams and ideas? • Do I feel like my spouse desires me?
  29. 29. • Each of us perceives something about every question and it is our perception that we live. We live what we feel! Our feelings will have a profound impact on our ability to keep the peace. We must not minimize each others feelings.
  30. 30. Peace Made Must Be Kept Because Of The Way Peace Is Made
  31. 31. Warning Most People Never Reach Peace You might not be keeping the peace at all, you may have just stopped fighting.
  32. 32. A Peace Treaty
  33. 33. • A peace treaty is an agreement between two or more hostile parties, usually countries or governments, which formally ends a state of war between the parties.
  34. 34. Armistice
  35. 35. Peace • It is different from an armistice, which is an agreement to stop hostilities.
  36. 36. Surrender
  37. 37. • or a surrender, in which an army agrees to give up arms,
  38. 38. Cease Fire
  39. 39. • or a ceasefire (truce) in which the parties may agree to temporarily or permanently stop fighting.
  40. 40. Ways To Keep The Peace When The Peace Is Tested
  41. 41. Understand Your Partner's Love Language
  42. 42. Understand Your Partner's Love Language • According to Dr. Gary Chapman, we each have a primary "love language" that helps us feel loved. • We may thrive on words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time or physical touch. Chapman believes that thoroughly understanding and acting on your partner's primary love language will help you have the best relationship possible. Learn what exactly makes your partner feel closest to you, and practice it often as a way to keep the peace in your relationship.
  43. 43. Apologize Effectively
  44. 44. Apologize Effectively • You may have done a few things to hurt your partner unintentionally, but knowing how to apologize will cover a multitude of wrongs. After the next time you do something hurtful to your spouse, look him in the face and apologize sincerely. • According to Dr. Ben Kim, it is important that you do not say "I am sorry if you were hurt by what I did," because this puts the blame on your spouse instead of on yourself. Truly accepting responsibility for your actions is the only way you can restore your relationship when you have done harm to your spouse.
  45. 45. Apologize immediately
  46. 46. • Apologize immediately – Once the discussion or argument is over, if you’re at fault, apologize and begin getting over it. There’s nothing sillier than someone knowing that they’re wrong, but refusing to apologize. It’s understandable that feelings won’t subside right away and the residue of an argument or heated discussion may remain, and if you can’t give a sincere apology because of that, maybe it is best to wait.
  47. 47. • But all that does is slow the healing process. Be adult about it and consider the good of the relationship. The longer the dark cloud of hurt feelings linger, the more opportunity for resentment to set in. Childishness and pride have destroyed many a relationship. Too many stories of “the one that got away” are in existence all because someone didn’t apologize soon enough.
  48. 48. Understand How to Accept an Apology
  49. 49. Understand How to Accept an Apology Luke 17:3 • When your spouse apologizes to you, be sure to accept the apology without making her feel worse than she already does. Understand that she had to let go of her pride and become vulnerable to admit she was wrong, and that she wants you to accept her apology. • Do not make the mistake of using her apology as an excuse to point out her wrongdoings, and never withhold forgiveness from her. By embracing her apology sincerely, you refuse to manipulate her by toying with her feelings.
  50. 50. Communicate Constantly
  51. 51. Communicate Constantly Romans 12:10 • Communication is one of the most basic ways you can keep peace with your spouse. Only 7 percent of communication is verbal. The things you do say a lot about your priorities, as well as how much you are willing to sacrifice for the happiness and well-being of your spouse. • Let your significant other know how much he means to you by performing acts of kindness on a regular basis.
  52. 52. Keep your molehills at a molehill level
  53. 53. Ephesians 4:26; Matthew 5:25-26 • Most arguments can be settled before they even start if situations are addressed quickly. Often things get blown up because one or both persons in the relationship refuse to address problems head on. • No one wants to have an uncomfortable conversation over something that seems minor. But minor can become major in a heartbeat if not handled right away. Handling this can be the same as handling your health. Preventive maintenance. Don’t wait until you’re on the operating table to learn a thing or two about heart health.
  54. 54. Constant communication
  55. 55. Colossians 3:19 • Constant communication is often talked about in relationships, but only in the sense of making sure people know how you feel. • Not enough people talk about having uncomfortable conversations as part of that communication. If something is said that you don’t like, say something now. Don’t wait until it’s said seven more times. If something is done that you don’t appreciate, don’t let it fester. Discuss it before it becomes a habit or a way of life. Waiting may cause your complaint to feel like an attack. Molehills are easy, but some mountains can be difficult to ascend.
  56. 56. Don’t Make Conversations Interrogations
  57. 57. Never be afraid to ask for what you want
  58. 58. • There’s no need to be shy now. . . You now have certain rights and expectations. You also have needs that should be met. • Whether emotional or sexual, people in relationships must be honest about what they need to be happy. More people go outside of their relationship because they aren’t getting what they need within it.
  59. 59. • Most times, a simple conversation could’ve solved that problem. Once you’re in a committed relationship, there’s no more room to be shy or secretive. Let it all hang out. Confusion and frustration are often created in relationships when partners are still expected to be mind readers. The time to make people “read” you was during the dating period. Give your partner the best chance at pleasing you by giving them all of the information they need. If you don’t, you can hardly blame them solely for not meeting your needs.
  60. 60. Keep articles/books like this in perspective • . . . Columns and books like this one serve a purpose, but it isn’t supposed to be your Bible. Relationship advice should help to enhance your knowledge, not do all the work for you. Don’t lose yourself or your relationship within the lines of the page. No one knows better about what a person needs than they do. • Therefore, don’t bring too much of an advice columnist, author, radio of television host into your relationship. It’s like bringing another person into the room and if your partner isn’t on board with it, they may resent it. Rather, take what’s written here as a suggestion. Take what is applicable and use it. If it doesn’t work or apply, throw it out. Always consider the people in the relationship first before you assume that someone that doesn’t know you has every answer.
  61. 61. Things That Seek To Destroy Your Peace Warning The Following Is Graphic The Following Are Potential Threats To Keeping The Peace Use Extreme Caution. Extreme Caution!!!!
  62. 62. Arguments Over Babies Can Disrupt Peace
  63. 63. Fatigue Caring For Babies Can Disrupt Peace
  64. 64. Lack of Sex After Babies Can Disrupt Peace
  65. 65. Threats To Peace – Proceed With Caution
  66. 66. A Second Threat To Peace
  67. 67. I’m tired of home projects, well it’s a dream home and I’m still dreaming!
  68. 68. You said you were handy, I didn’t mean with a hammer.
  69. 69. I’ll paint just please tell me what color.
  70. 70. I said I do to you, not to house projects well then hire someone.
  71. 71. Final Threat To Peace
  72. 72. Technology Can Disrupt Peace
  73. 73. No i’m not busy go ahead
  74. 74. Peace Made Must Be Kept Make sure you are striving to Keep the Peace you worked so hard to achieve.

×