Successfully reported this slideshow.
We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads. You can change your ad preferences anytime.

Plan b parenting saint joseph 2010


Published on

  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

Plan b parenting saint joseph 2010

  1. 1. “ Plan B” Parenting with a Purpose <ul><li>By Herald Cruz </li></ul>
  2. 2. My Family (Pamilyang Cruz ‘07)
  3. 3. My Children (Pamilyang Cruz ‘09)
  4. 4. I. The Family Today Based on the Barney Song 
  5. 5. My Family’s Is Just Right For Me <ul><li>Verse 1 </li></ul><ul><li>I have a friend who lives with his mom and dad, with his brother and his sister too. They have a cat and a dog and a pet bullfrog, And I am really glad they do. </li></ul>
  6. 6. <ul><li>Verse 2 </li></ul><ul><li>There's a girl I know who lives with her mom, and her dad lives far away. Although she sees her parents just one at a time, They both love her everyday. </li></ul>
  7. 7. <ul><li>Verse 3. </li></ul><ul><li>I know a boy whose new he just moved in, he moved from Alabama. And the person whose the head of his family, is his loving, dear ole grandma. </li></ul>
  8. 8. <ul><li>Chorus: A family is people and a family is love, That's a family. They come in all different sizes and different kinds, But mine is just right for me, Yeah, mine is right for me. </li></ul>
  9. 9. Kamusta tayo sa solo parenting? Paano ako makakasigurado na tama ang pagpapalaki ninyo sa akin?
  10. 10. Introduction “ Filipino Consciousness” “ … He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly .” John 10:10 “ Healthy families will result to a healthy individuals, healthy communities, and a nation… kahit sole parenting”
  11. 11. I. Stages of Family Life “Baitang ng buhay pagpapamilya”
  12. 12. Stages of Family Life
  13. 13. Phase of most parents <ul><li>developing intimacy in marriage </li></ul><ul><li>career development </li></ul><ul><li>searching fit between goals (naisin) and achievement (nagawa na) </li></ul><ul><li>re-establishing priorities (pagsasaayos) </li></ul>Young Adulthood to Middle Adulthood
  14. 14. II. Parenting Styles <ul><li>Autocratic </li></ul><ul><li>Permissive </li></ul><ul><li>Democrati c </li></ul>
  15. 15. Autocratic Parenting “Walang tanong-tanong” “ Tandaan mo ha, anak lang kita!
  16. 16. Autocratic Parenting <ul><li>resentful, rebellious & dependent </li></ul>strict, controlling , order w/o freedom low initiative, low self-esteem, poor communication skills
  17. 17. Parenting Myths <ul><li>Indulgent “spoiled” </li></ul>Permissive Parenting “ Ibigay ang hilig” Negligent “pabaya ” “ Kung ayaw mong gawin ang assignment mo, sige lang laro na lang tayo.” “ Bahala ka nalang sa buhay mo, ano paba ang magagawa ko?”
  18. 18. Permissive Parenting tolerant and lax freedom without order unlimited choices manipulative irresponsible socially incompetent Underachiever Self-Centered Poor moral values
  19. 19. A need for balance
  20. 20. <ul><li>Autocratic </li></ul><ul><li>Permissive </li></ul><ul><li>Democratic </li></ul>Democratic Parenting “ Itutuwid para sa hinaharap” “ Medyo kulang ang budget para sa birthday mo, ano kaya pwede nating gawin?”
  21. 21. Democratic Parenting <ul><li>Firmness with respect Freedom with order Limited choices </li></ul>Responsible Confident Capable adults Self-Reliant Self-giving Socially competent Well-formed values
  22. 22. Aiming to be Democratic “Layunin” <ul><li>Set limits and expectations </li></ul><ul><li>Respect choices </li></ul><ul><li>Provide challenging opportunities </li></ul><ul><li>Negotiate </li></ul><ul><li>Power-sharing </li></ul>
  23. 23. Summary Autocratic Democratic Permissive Order w/o Freedom Order w/Freedom Freedom w/o Order Dependent Resentful Rebellious Irresponsible Manipulative Demanding Confident Responsible Capable ROBOTS MONSTER BALANCED
  24. 24. III. Human Development “Baitang ng paglago” <ul><li>Developmental Stage with specific patterns of behavior </li></ul><ul><li>Developmental tasks to be negotiated for smooth transition. </li></ul>ERIK ERIKSON Crisis/ Stages
  25. 25. Developmental Stages of a Child Social Crisis Circle of Influence Needs Infancy (0-2 yrs) Trust vs Mistrust Mother/ Caregiver Touch Early Childhood (2-3 yrs) Autonomy vs Shame Parents/ Family Establish Control Play Age (3-5 yrs) Initiative vs Guilt Playmates/Ext. Family Security & Affection School Age (6-12 yrs) Industry vs Inferiority School Community Develop self-confidence
  26. 26. Developmental Stages of a Child Social Crisis Circle of Influence Needs Adolescence 12-19 Identity vs Role Confusion Friends Allowed to develop own identity
  28. 28. Personally Considered Wrong (in %) (Metro Manila) 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 2000 2005 1992 Use forbidden drugs Cheat on boyfriend/girlfriend Sell or buy illegal drugs Take something w/o paying Sell oneself for sex Stay away from school/work Drunk driving Avoid paying taxes Marital infidelity Divorce/separation Look at porn material Hazing Cheat in school Use violence
  29. 29. Personally Considered Wrong (in %) cont’d (Metro Manila) 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 2000 2005 1992 Smoke cigarettes Use sexually explicit language Sell porn material Pre-marital sex Gambling Phone/internet sex Getting drunk Race a car or motorbike Abortion Homosexual relationship Use a prostitute
  30. 30. Brain Development Maturation Occurs from Back to Front of the Brain Images of Brain Development in Healthy Youth (Ages 5 – 20) Blue represents maturing of brain areas Copyright © 2004 The National Academy of Sciences, USA Gogtay, N., Giedd, J.N., et al. (2004) Dynamic mapping of human cortical development during childhood through early adulthood Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 101 (21), 8174 – 8179
  32. 32. Three Stages of Adolescents <ul><li>Early </li></ul><ul><ul><li>(Approximately 10-14 years old) </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Middle </li></ul><ul><ul><li>(Approximately 15-16 years old) </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Late </li></ul><ul><ul><li>(Approximately 17-21 years old) </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Spano, S. (May 2004) Stages of Adolescent Development. Research FACTs and Findings. ACT for Youth: Upstate Center of Excellence, Cornell University. </li></ul>
  33. 33. Early Adolescent (Approximately 10-14 years old) <ul><li>Moodiness; </li></ul><ul><li>Close friendships gain importance; </li></ul><ul><li>Less attention shown to parents, with occasional rudeness; </li></ul><ul><li>Realization parents are not perfect; </li></ul><ul><li>Search new people to love in addition to parents; </li></ul><ul><li>Tendency to return to childish behavior during times of stress; </li></ul><ul><li>Peer group influence on personal interests and clothing </li></ul>
  34. 34. Middle Adolescent (Approximately 15-16 years old) <ul><li>Self-involvement, alternating between unrealistically high expectations and worries about failure; </li></ul><ul><li>Extremely concerned with appearance and body; </li></ul><ul><li>Lowered opinion of and withdrawal from parents; </li></ul><ul><li>Periods of sadness as the psychological loss of parents takes place; </li></ul><ul><li>Strong emphasis on the new peer group; </li></ul><ul><li>Examination of inner experiences, which may include writing a diary. </li></ul>
  35. 35. Late Adolescent (Approximately 17-21 years old) <ul><li>Firmer identity; </li></ul><ul><li>Ability to delay gratification; </li></ul><ul><li>Ability to think through ideas; </li></ul><ul><li>Ability to express ideas in words; </li></ul><ul><li>Developed sense of humor; </li></ul><ul><li>Interests and emotions become more stable; </li></ul><ul><li>Ability to make independent decisions; </li></ul><ul><li>Ability to compromise; </li></ul><ul><li>Pride in one’s work; </li></ul><ul><li>Self reliance; </li></ul><ul><li>Greater concern for others. </li></ul>
  36. 36. The ABCs - Summary of Adolescents <ul><li>The Ambivalent Identity </li></ul><ul><li>The Body that Matures </li></ul><ul><li>The Conformity Challenge </li></ul><ul><li>The Declaration of Independence </li></ul><ul><li>The Need for Emotional Nearness </li></ul><ul><li>Danny and Lala Dy </li></ul>
  37. 37. <ul><li>Expect impulsivity, poor judgment, emotionality </li></ul><ul><ul><li>“ On second thought…” not in the repertoire </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Parents must anticipate - teens need help with this </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Less than optimal planning and judgment </li></ul>Summary
  38. 38. Multiple Intelligences “Uri ng katalinuhan” <ul><li>Discovering the strengths of each of our children and not the non-strengths </li></ul>Artistic Musical Mathematical Linguistic
  39. 39. Multiple Intelligences <ul><li>Honing these intelligences to maximize their full potential. </li></ul>Kinesthetic Interpersonal Intrapersonal Natural
  40. 40. Uniqueness “Ang bawat bata ay may taglay na talino” <ul><li>6 times World Champion </li></ul>Focus on developing the intelligence
  41. 41. Summary Find the UNIQUENESS “katangian” Acknowledge the DIFFERENTNESS “kaibahan” Celebrate the SPECIALNESS “espesyal”
  42. 42. Pagtatapos <ul><li>Control finances </li></ul><ul><li>Explain to your kids early </li></ul><ul><li>Look for support and use it </li></ul><ul><li>Take time for the family </li></ul><ul><li>Be good to yourself </li></ul><ul><li>Be an example </li></ul><ul><li>Treat kids like kids </li></ul><ul><li>Look for the gem </li></ul>
  43. 43. Our Greatest Treasure ... our Greatest Responsibility!
  44. 44. Building a Positive Relationship with Your Teens <ul><li>Open Forum </li></ul>