Pc 4 family assesing your family


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  • Lion King “ There’s one in every family…” Mufasa, Scar Roles In Dysfunctional Families ( from book: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney) "Responsible Child" - "Family Hero" “ Acting out child" - "Scapegoat" “ Placater" - "Mascot" - "Caretaker" "Adjuster" - "Lost Child" Clown IP – Identified patient
  • 1. 5 Families 2. 7 out of 11 3. 65 children in 8 years 4. Eating together eating better
  • CBCP
  • Pc 4 family assesing your family

    1. 1. HOW HEALTHY IS YOUR FAMILY? Pastoral Counseling Session 4
    2. 2. <ul><li>January 2003, the Roman Catholic world celebrated 4 th World Meeting of Families in Manila and the message was the strengthening of family ties. </li></ul><ul><li>Loyola School of Theology (Ateneo) established Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM) to provide family studies and family counseling . </li></ul>
    3. 3. What is a family?
    4. 4. Importance of the Family <ul><li>“ Marriage and thus family are and where we live out our most intimate and powerful experiences. The family is the unit in which we belong, from which we can expect protection from uncontrollable fate…” – J. Balswick </li></ul>
    5. 5. <ul><li>“ A study, conducted by the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB), shows that Filipinos ranked family as the most important source of happiness, giving it a score of 9.45 on a scale of 1 to 10. Health came next, with a score of 8.95, while religion ranked third with 8.59” </li></ul><ul><li>(http://www.dancewithshadows.com/society/filipino-happiness.asp) </li></ul>Sources of Happiness Family 9.45
    6. 6. Why discuss the health of our families? <ul><li>We all belong to a family </li></ul><ul><li>Many families are dysfunctional and disintegrating (it is just a matter of time) </li></ul><ul><li>Families will affect individuals significantly </li></ul><ul><li>In order to effectively help an individual, the family must be helped </li></ul>
    7. 7. Why discuss the health of our families? <ul><li>5. If one is deeply wounded in the family, it even affects his/her journey in the faith </li></ul><ul><li>6. Most of us will have a family of our own and we are to strive to have healthy families </li></ul><ul><li>7. The family is in the number one hit list of Satan </li></ul>
    8. 8. 1. We all belong to family <ul><li>We can chose our mate, our friends, our job and even our faith but we cannot chose to which family we will be a part of. </li></ul><ul><li>We are part of our own family whether we like it or not. </li></ul>
    9. 9. <ul><li>In one word, describe your family of origin </li></ul>
    10. 10. Levels of family competence
    11. 11. 2. Many families are Dysfunctional <ul><li>Terms </li></ul><ul><li>Black-sheep, problem child, troubled child, prodigal son and even dysfunctional individual </li></ul>
    12. 12. 2. Many families are Dysfunctional <ul><li>In most cases it was not just the individual that is dysfunctional, but the family. </li></ul><ul><li>It is the family that is sick! </li></ul><ul><li>Each one in the family affects one another </li></ul>
    13. 13. Systemic
    14. 14. 3. Families will affect individuals <ul><li>“ Everything occurring in the family, regardless of how carefully hidden, impacts the children. Everything.” ( R. Hemfelt and P. Warren, Kids Who Carry Our Pain, p.70.) </li></ul>
    15. 15. 3. Families will affect individuals <ul><li>Positively or negatively, our family will have a bearing in shaping our lives which includes our… </li></ul><ul><li>behavior, how we view our world, personality, prejudices, learning style, how we view ourselves, even including our spiritual formation . </li></ul><ul><li>Case : “Mr. Muscle Man” </li></ul>
    16. 16. 4. To help the family, is to help the individual <ul><li>The top 5 alleged causes of 140 recorded suicides were: </li></ul><ul><li>24 % family troubles </li></ul><ul><li>20 % disappointment with love </li></ul><ul><li>18 % Lingering illness </li></ul><ul><li>14 % Jealousy </li></ul><ul><li>10 % poverty and losses </li></ul>
    17. 17. 4. To help the family, is to help the individual <ul><li>If we want to transform this nation we should not end with just the individual but continue with work of transforming the families. </li></ul>
    18. 18. 5. Our emotional wounds affects our journey in the faith <ul><li>“ Spiritual directors and family therapist have long established the link between one’s inner wound and the progress of his spiritual journey.” J. Soberano </li></ul>
    19. 19. 5. Our emotional wounds affects our journey in the faith <ul><li>Many of our wounds are inflicted to us by those who are closest to us and have have betrayed our trust. </li></ul>
    20. 20. 6. Most of us will be raising a family of our own <ul><li>Do you want to repeat the cycle? </li></ul><ul><li>Do you want to repeat the pain? </li></ul><ul><li>Do you want to repeat the shame? </li></ul>
    21. 21. 6. Most of us will be raising a family of our own <ul><li>See what is good in your family and DEVELOP it! </li></ul><ul><li>Recognize what is wrong with your family and do something about it or else, the “ TOXIC SHAME ” will only be passed on. </li></ul>
    22. 22. Is my family healthy?
    23. 23. How to build a healthy family <ul><li>Submission to God’s will for the family </li></ul><ul><li>Acceptance and appreciation for each other </li></ul><ul><li>Time spent together “meal time” </li></ul><ul><li>Good communication patterns </li></ul>
    24. 24. How to build a healthy family <ul><li>High degree of commitment to one another </li></ul><ul><li>Ability to cope with crises </li></ul><ul><li>Family is place of protection and growth </li></ul>
    25. 25. <ul><li>“ It is wise to get together at least once a day for everyone to touch base with each other…this kind of meeting needs to be planned.” </li></ul><ul><li>- Satir noted American author and psychotherapist </li></ul>
    26. 26. Benefits Eating Together <ul><li>Better communication </li></ul><ul><li>Better school performance </li></ul><ul><li>Better adjustment </li></ul><ul><li>Better nutrition </li></ul><ul><li>http:// nutrition.wsu.edu/ebet/background.html </li></ul>
    27. 27. <ul><li>“… the unit in human life with most powerful dedication to the growth is not the individual, or the work group, or the social group, but the family .” </li></ul><ul><li>The Family Crucible A. Napier & C. Whitaker </li></ul>
    28. 28. <ul><li>“ The family is the heart and the center of the Filipinos. It is where faith, the Christian doctrine and the Gospel values are learned and lived… where love, justice, fraternity and equality are experienced, nourished and cultivated.” </li></ul>