Comentary final draft for hand in


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Comentary final draft for hand in

  1. 1. 1 1 Kohshi Gokita November 22, 2010 English 12 Per. 5 Mr. Augustine Such a standard High My dreams guide me through my luminous life They supply me a menu of delicacies, and direction It is the nourished food that I can live with little strife Often I am denied my meal; I react with work and passion They are floating like air balloon which I can never travel on And I know that I have set my standard high like eagle in sky But without them, I know in the end, nowhere will I have gone Therefore I will not hunger from sorrow or regret when I die With these goals locked up in a tower that I’ve set up so elevated They pull me up from the dark abyss of the gray daily grind I know someday I will fall back into the crevasse unabated But at least I know the taste of giving full effort of my mind While I climb the rough wall, others sit not lifting a finger I see you who tend to stay at the dirty bottom and never sail I wonder and can’t understand why you do nothing but linger For only few who hunger for fine dining will in the end prevail. Analysis Structure: In this poem, I put end rhyme in every 1st 3rd, and 2nd and 4th in each stanza. For example, in first stanza, I used words of “life” (1) and “strife” (3) to make a sound of rhyming. In each stanza, there are four lines and all of them are almost about same length for each. Imagery: In this poem, I put many imageries related to foods. And I compared them to what it is like to have a dream. For example, “My dreams guide me through my luminous life, They
  2. 2. 2 2 supply me a menu of delicacies, and direction” (1-2). This sentence shows that dream can give me an excite in life, as like I have a great meal. In addition, I also use several sight imageries by comparing the dream as floating air balloon which are much high above in the air (5), and also, I used the sight imagery for representing a dirty and dark abyss where people who do not try stay at. Tone: I used several tones of hunger, suspicious, and confidence. In the beginning, I talk like I starve for having a great dream like I starve for such a great meal. Readers can know my tone from first stanza. To move on, I also used a tone of suspiciousness. In this poem, I say that to have a dream is such a great thing in life, but then it is also true that there are a lot of people who do not try to achieve their goals, or worse, who do not have any goals. So I said “I wonder and can’t understand why you do nothing but linger” (15) to show my suspiciousness. And from whole poem, by using such a strong word, I put my confident tone in every speeches to make readers think that having a dream is much greater than no-having a dream such as “I know someday I will fall back into the crevasse unabated But at least I know the taste of giving full effort of my mind” (11-12). Theme: This poem’s theme is “dream can give you a power to live”. If you do not have any goals or dreams, then it means that you are living by nothing in your life. It is true that dream is hard to accomplish, I mean, dream must be hard to accomplish because who in the world have a dream of something like “my dream is eating a steak for dinner”? So, dream must be something hard, or even impossible to achieve, but at least, I put my effort and try my best to achieve the goal. Even though I could not achieve the goal in the end, I must have spent a real fun life. That is exactly what I said “And I know that I have set my standard high like eagle in sky But without them, I know in the end, nowhere will I have gone” (6-7). Other Literary Devices: I used several other literary devices in this poem. For example, the word of abyss, this word originally means a huge dark gulf, but in this poem, I gave it a connotative meaning of “despair” to emphasize that having no dream refers to that the person is in despair of life. So the “abyss” is kind of negative connotation. In addition, I used many things as compared to the theme of dream. First example is food. I compare the dream with great meal. Moreover, I compare the hardness of achieving the dream to air balloon and
  3. 3. 3 3 eagle in the air which I can never touch. Thus, by these literary devices, I tell readers that dream is something which can give meaning to our life although it is tough to achieve. However, because it is tough, that is why dream is so valuable to us. Personal Reflection: From first time that Mr. Augustine said we would make our own poem, I had generous idea of what to write. I wanted to write something related to dream. The main reason is that dream is something that seniors like me mostly consider about right now. We have to think about University, and also job. When I think of these things, I struggled between the dilemmas of work so hard and go to good University, or just go to some ordinary University. However, as I said in my poem, I considered about this topic once time. If I set my dream such a low level, then what would I feel after I achieve the goal? I definitely feel sorrow and regret. Dream should be something big. Although it is almost impossible to achieve, but at least I made my own dream such a standard high, then I can do my best to try to achieve the goal. This is why I wrote this poem, with the theme of dream. Thus, generous idea was already in my mind, it was not so tough to write up this poem. The hardest thing was to make poem in rhyming. I used dictionary to find for synonyms for each word and looked for vocabularies which finish the word with same sounds. I took about two hours to complete this task, so as I looked back of this assignment, I guess this was the toughest thing for me. A HUNTING MORNING by Arthur Conan Doyle Put the saddle on the mare, 7 For the wet winds blow; 5 There's winter in the air, 6 And autumn all below. 6 For the red leaves are flying7 And the red bracken dying, 6 And the red fox lying 5 Where the oziers grow. 4 Put the bridle on the mare, 7 For my blood runs chill; 5 And my heart, it is there, 6
  4. 4. 4 4 On the heather-tufted hill, 6 With the gray skies o'er us, 7 And the long-drawn chorus 6 Of a running pack before us 6 From the find to the kill. 6 Then lead round the mare, For it's time that we began, And away with thought and care, Save to live and be a man, While the keen air is blowing, And the huntsman holloing, And the black mare going As the black mare can. Analysis Structure: This poem has 3 stanzas with 8 lines each. In each stanza the 1st and 3rd lines rhyme, the 2nd, 4th, and 8th lines rhyme, and 5th, 6th, and 7th lines rhyme. Another feature of this poem is each line is short and direct. There are no lines less than 5 syllables or more than 7 syllables which make each line more concise. Imagery: In the first stanza, there are total three words of red which symbolize blood and death. Also, the season is late fall going into winter, which symbolizes death and the end of cycle. He uses the word “gray skies o’ er us” to give an imagery of gloom and despair which foreshadow something bad will happen to the fox. And then he also uses the word of ‘black’ to describe the mare and black symbolizes death. And the words of “holloing” and “air is blowing” are sound imagery which shows what a noisy exciting scene the hunting is. Tone: The tone of this poem is gloom and despondent because the men are getting ready to hunt and kill those foxes. It appears that Arthur Conan Doyle is a bit disheartened by participating in such a gruesome event. He says that his “blood runs chill” to show his anxiety. To add on it, he says his heart, “it is there”, not ‘here’. This represents that he is not
  5. 5. 5 5 supportive of hunting. Also, he says “away with thought and care” to illustrate that the hunters are not thinking rationally. Theme: The theme of this poem is “people tend to be dominant over others.” They hunt deers and other animals for sports; it is because that they are having fun for killing weak animals. They enjoy the feeling of that they “control lives of animals”. Therefore, they do hunting just to have some fun for cool afternoon. Other literary devices: He uses alliteration in line 2 “wet winds” and in line 4 “and autumn all” to make the poem easier to read in rhythm, and maybe emphasizing his points. Also, in line 5, he uses metaphor of “red leaves are flying”, but of course leaves cannot fly. And he uses personification too in line 10, “my blood runs chill”, but again, blood cannot run. In addition, according to those literary devices, Arthur Conan Doyle makes the mood of something dark or negative, to show the dark view to readers. Personal Reflection: The main reason why I chose this poem is because that I saw the name of Arthur Conan Doyle who is most famous for his Sherlock Holmes. I was pretty amazed when I found his name in the list because I did not know that he could write poems too. Also he seems make a point about the inhumanity of fox hunting which is common event in his time period. But today, it is a big issue in United Kingdom and many people are trying to make fox hunting to illegal. So, I thought that Arthur Conan Doyle brought the issues way ahead of its time. And also he shows he has a lot of compassions because he seems to care about senseless killing innocent animals. A Red Red Rose by Robert Burns O my Luve's like a red, red rose That's newly sprung in June; O my Luve's like the melodie That's sweetly played in tune. 4 As fair art thou, my bonnie lass, So deep in luve am I;
  6. 6. 6 6 And I will luve thee still, my dear, Till a' the seas gang dry: 8 Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear, And the rocks melt wi' the sun; I will luve thee still, my dear, While the sands o' life shall run. 12 And fare thee weel, my only Luve, And fare thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my Luve, Tho' it ware ten thousand mile. 16 Analysis Structure: This poem is written in total 4 stanzas, 4 lines for each. In every stanzas, it rhymes same words in each stanza in lines 1 and 3. For example, in 1t stanza, it repeats the word of ‘like’. And then in 2nd stanza, it rhymes the word of ‘my’. Moreover, he uses rhyming every second and fourth lines of each verse. They are all for making a rhythm in reading. And every stanza contains only few of words, so this poem was so easy to read through. Exaggerat Tone: The tone of this poem is obvious. It is passion. This poem is whole about a love message to the author’s lover. He emphasizes his love by saying “O my Luve's like a red, red rose”. In addition, I will explain later, but this poem uses many literary devices to emphasize his love, so after you read this poem, you will definitely figure out what the tone of this poem is. Imagery: He uses many sight imagery in his poem. At first, readers see the word of “red, red rose”. It is such a strong words which make readers imagine of the red, red rose. And further, he uses sound imagery when he talks about the melodie that is sweetly played in tune. Other Literary Devices: In the first line, he uses both a simile and alliteration when he says “…like a red red rose.” (1) Also he uses sight imagery in lines one and two when he talks about the red rose
  7. 7. 7 7 that has newly sprung in June. And then he uses another simile of “…like the melodie.” (3) He uses a metaphorical device in line 8 when he says he will love his dear “till a’ the seas gang dry.” (8) This is exaggerating his love saying it will last forever or at least until the seas no longer have water in them. Then he uses repetition of “till a’ the seas gang dry” in lines eight and nine. In addition, he uses another metaphorical device of in line 10 of “and the rocks melt wi' the sun” (10) to again exaggerate his extreme love and display of sun’s heat compared to his passion. Moreover, he uses personification in line 12, what he says “the sands o' life shall run” because sand cannot actually run. And finally, he uses repetition once again in lines 13 and 14 when he says “And fare thee weel, my only Luve, And fare thee weel awhile.” (13-14) Theme: Theme of this poem is “love is great”. There are many emotions which encourage people to achieve something. For example, if you fear of die, then you might do something to avoid death. If you are happy, you may do something disgusting in a good mood. However, among these emotions, the emotion of love mostly encourages people to do achieve something, even tough thing. In fact, in the poem he says that he can walk more than ten thousand miles. Who can walk more than ten thousand miles for someone who is nothing for you? However, if it is for someone that you love, then you can do whatever you are asked to do. Personal Reflection: This poem was very simple and very easy to find literary devices because in each line, it contained at least one literary device. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the poem it was really positive and it made his love really obvious that he showed how deep the love runs in his heart. It was very moving because he kept saying how he would love his dear to the end of time. And also he said that he would come back to her even he had to walk 10,000 miles. In addition, I also enjoyed his word play because he says something like “until seas gang dry” which is not possible to emphasize his extreme love for his sweet heart. The rhyming was perfect and it flowed in an easy direct manner. Overall, some poetry is good because it mysterious and other poetry have hidden meanings but this poem did not have any confusing materials. So I found that refreshing for a change. The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
  8. 8. 8 8 And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Analysis Structure: The structure of this poem is broken down into four stanzas. Each stanza has 5 lines in which the 1st, 3rd, and 4th lines all end rhyme, also the 2nd and 5th lines rhyme throughout the entire poem. And the author uses a structure of enjambment. Readers can see easily that there are many words such as “and”, “to”, “in” and other words are located in beginning of each line without any punctuation in last word in last line. Imagery: The author is conveying a imagery of peaceful nature because he is taking a solitary walk in the woods. We get a feeling of quiet, tranquil, and being at peace with nature. Also
  9. 9. 9 9 we get the feeling that the author likes to think about deep thoughts. The color for example “yellow wood”, “no step had trodden black”, are meant to give the readers the feeling of beauty if nature. The words of “undergrowth” and “grassy and wanted wear” represent the wild freedom of nature with unburden image. Tone: The tone is pensive as the author is deepening his own thoughts. Also, that the poem is serious about the life and the decisions that have to be made. In addition, the poet shows a signs of regret because he cannot take both roads and he may not ever get the chance to return to the diverged roads. Theme: The theme of the poem is “life offers different possibilities but rarely second chances.” So the author is using these simple decisions about choosing the paths in the woods. It represents serious choices that must be made in everybody’s lives who have ever lived. Other literary devices: When he describes the second path as “…grassy and wanted wear”, he uses personification because path cannot have any feeling of wanting something. Moreover, it uses repetition in lines 1 and 18 by repeating the words of “two roads diverged in wood” which seems to be main point that he is talking about choices both on simple walking in the woods and in real life. What Frost tries to say is that life is full of choices and we only get one chance. Some people tend to play it safe and take used path, while others tend to take a chance and go for ‘The Road Not Taken’ which means they like to be adventurous. Moreover, this poem has big symbol in it. It talks about road, but this road symbolizes the path in real life. Thus, this word of “road” also has connotative meaning. Personal Reflection: I really enjoyed this poem because I could sympathize to the main character in this poem. My life has numerous examples where I had to make a choice more carefully and I never be able to go back to make a second choice. For instance, I am taking IB Biology HL since Grade 11. At the time I chose HL, I had a choice of taking SL or HL. Now SL would be the beaten path or safe way, but I chose HL which was the risky way. I can relate to his grief because I am so sorry I took the risky way, and now I regret my choice. However, like Frost said, life rarely gives us second chances and I cannot go back and change although I wish I could.