ESWN 2.3


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ESWN 2.3

  1. 1. Hello! Time for another one of these I reckon. (And writing means I can avoid the football..) Last time, whenever that was, we said goodbye to the spouse of the Founding Gen, Shea Nightmare, who left behind a rather distraught Gen One heir „Orrible. Luckily for „Orrible he‟s got five baby girls, and that makes him very happy indeed  Shall we?
  2. 2. “Mmm.. I gotta say Liz, I think Magic Tubs are almost as good as Magic Beds..” “I think that‟s a fair assumption.” “But.. I‟ve hardly got to see the girls all morning!” “They‟ll be fine.” “Are you sure? I don‟t want to leave them all alone and missing Daddy Kisses. But then again, there are always Liz kisses too..”
  3. 3. In fact, the girls are getting along quite fine indeed. “Bottle nummy Ruth! Ruth bottle nummy too?” happy squeaked Riot to her twin on the nursery floor. “Bottle.. Adequate. And name not Ruth!” “Sowwy Ruthless..” “S‟better. Look at stupid big sisters!” she laughed, and nodded towards the play table.
  4. 4. “Oh Leechey honey, I don‟t think that‟s quite right..” sighed Parasite, „Orrible‟s alien daughter. “Why not? There‟s no restriction about what I can and can‟t get creative with!” “But.. Leftover cheese bits you found in the grill? I admire your creativity, but.. Couldn‟t you perhaps paint with something else, hmm?” “Hey – you‟re right! I bet there‟s some crumbs in the toaster!” cried the Bad Apple in delight, and sped off towards the kitchen. Shaking her head in a loving manner, Paris quickly followed her to make sure her sister didn‟t electrocute herself.
  5. 5. “Look Ruthless, look! Table is all free! Come draw, come draw!” The reply came in the form of a rather stony glare from her twin. “Blocks..?” ..was met with a narrowing of the eyebrows. “Okay. I agree. Table bad.” Riot nodded in defeat and started to make her way back across the nursery.
  6. 6. “RI-RI!” ..but she never made it that far, as „Orrible bounded downstairs, unable to stay away from his girls any longer. “DADDY! Daddy kisses?” “Of course, I‟ve been saving a special one for you too!” Ruthless just threw her bottle over her shoulder, and very quietly commented on how kisses were boring.
  7. 7. Once satisfied that Leech was going to be quite safe rummaging around the Nightmare kitchen, Parasite hurried out into the garden to find her other big sister, Louse. Being this Generation‟s Bug Nut, on weekends Louse can be found without fail scrubbing around in the garden soil. Seeing her hard at work, Paris just decided to cheerlead. “Come on Louse, you catch them bugs! Don‟t worry what everyone walking past says about you wrecking the land‟s beautiful green shimmer – I‟ll just shove carrots up their bums, WHOOOOOO!” “Thanks Paris, but I‟m kind of busy right now, actually I‟m-
  9. 9. Sensing now was the time to leave, the little alien hastily tiptoed back inside the house. But that of course meant that she wasn‟t near any of her family members, which was a situation in which Parasite really hated to be. So quickly she dragged Louse away from the toaster and tried to get her to do something with her again. For about 5 minutes, the Bad Apple was willing. “POW POW POW okay I‟m hungry now. And I should probably get dressed. But more importantly, I should probably get fed.” Parasite just shrugged. On to the next family member!
  10. 10. Yeah.. Unfortunately for Leech, I‟m still employing a backwards fridge policy until family meal times – even thought I really do appreciate the gesture that she actually bothered to get dress for once. “But I only want some Grilled Cheese! That‟s allowed!” I know dear, but I can‟t risk you going funny in the head and deciding you want juice or something. Sorry.
  11. 11. “..then I played with the twins for a bit, then Louse felt better from her stings and we made a treehouse, then Leech felt all tired from eating four sandwiches for lunch so I read her a story while she napped, and then I played with the twins again, and then Daddy and me had a magic adventure around the garden, and I was a princess and he was a dragon even though he‟s too nice to be a dragon, and now I‟m dancing with you!” “Sounds like quite a day.” Liz smiled kindly as Parasite prattled on and on about her days adventures. All credit to Liz, she‟s not related to Paris and they don‟t recognise each other as family – but you‟d never know it, she treats her just like all the others. Well, when she‟s able to prise them away from „Orrible.
  12. 12. And his little alien seems to be turning out quite the same! Parasite seems to loathe doing anything by herself and zooms in on anybody just having a quiet loiter. So before bed there‟s still time for a few more family encounters. “See? All better now Paris. The Bad Buzzy Monsters got me for a bit, but they always leave in the end. Don‟t look so worried!” “I‟m just glad you‟re okay! I was all worried when you ran away for the eighth time.” “S‟just part of the job. Want to test them out with some red hands?” “Ooo, yes please!”
  13. 13. “YOU! HERE!” “Aww, of course I wouldn‟t go to bed without saying goodnight to you as well, littlest sister!” “Good. You pay lots of attention, I like.” “We‟ll play peekaboo in the morning, promise!” “Acceptable. Night.”
  14. 14. “Good sister. Listen to my plan. Where is other good sister? TWIN! S‟time to see if stack of blocks by window big enough to climb up now.. Come.”
  15. 15. By the next afternoon Ruthless still hadn‟t managed to stage a grand escape from the nursery, and had begrudgingly let her twin join in peekaboo with Parasite. The plans of their youngest were of no worry to „Orrible and Liz, however. “But they‟re growing up this evening Liz! Pleeeeease can we have some more? There will still be enough kisses to go around though, I promise!” “No „Orrible! Much as I love seeing the girls spring up like shoots of barely in a particularly favourable season, I think we have quite enough of them. Besides, can‟t I just have your kisses to myself for a while?” “Oh, I think we can manage that..” The rest of the afternoon flew by rather quickly for the parents 
  16. 16. But before you could say “Mercutio the marrow mingles most meticulously”, it was time for the youngest two Nightmares to enter childhood. “You MUST wait twin! I am on potty.” “But Ruthless, I caaaaan‟t..” “WAIT.” “But but but I‟m all tingly!” “What are you chattering about girls? I know growing up feels strange, but don‟t worry! I‟ll be fine, Daddy promises. Now come on!”
  17. 17. But she couldn‟t hold it in any longer, and Riot shot up into kiddlington in the blink of an eye! “Oh hey, that really wasn‟t too bad! Don‟t worry about the tingly and sparklies Ruthless, it really is okay! Daddy was right.”
  18. 18. “Me? Worry? Don‟ be silly. But twin should have waited. But doesn‟t matter no more..
  19. 19. ..because I‟m all BIG! Oh, this is going to be so much more useful. But this dress isn‟t, and I‟m hungry. TWIN – COME!” And so the new child Ruthless strode past her rather bemused twin and hurried off to first the wardrobe and then the kitchen.
  20. 20. Helping herself to a handily placed grilled cheese, Ruthless plonked herself down at the table and began to chomp purposefully. “But Ruuuuuthless, Daddy wants us out in the garden!” Riot dithered uselessly at the end of the table, anxious that „Orrible was calling to the both of them. “And I‟m not hungry!” “Well I am. And everyone else can wait. If I want a sandwich, I‟m going to have a sandwich. Got it?” “..Yes Ruthless.”
  21. 21. When, and only when, Ruthless finished her snack did all five girls finally assemble in the garden for „Orrible‟s family photo. So now‟s a s good a time as any for a quick recap, because five girls can be a little confusing I‟ll agree. Back left and centre are oldest twins; Leech (Bad Apple) and Louse (Bug Nut). Back right is the middle daughter and Base Game bonus alien; Parasite And at the front the third pregnancy gave us youngest twins; Riot and Ruthless Got it? Good.
  22. 22. And just proof that „Orrible did indeed take a picture of all five of his Princesses and popped it up in the kitchen – thus fulfilling the picture part of Generation Two‟s family scrapbook.
  23. 23. “WHY the monkey‟s butt didn‟t you wait for me to grow up, twin?” “I couldn‟t help it Ruthless! It just sort of happened.. And I was born first!” “SO?! Since when did birth order mean anything?” “Er..” “Exactly. I‟m the youngest, but clearly vastly superior to every single person in this house! So don‟t go trying to beat me at anything again.” “I‟m really sorry Ruthless! I really am, it won‟t happen again – I promise!”
  24. 24. “Good. Because you are my twin, and I shall need you.” “Really?!” “Of course. Everyone needs a good lackey.” “But-” “Exactly. Being little may have been a pain, but through everyone‟s lip flapping I‟ve already heard a great deal about this place, Riverblossom. And it sounds pointless. Totally pointless.” “So.. What do we do?” “Well it‟ll be gotten rid of eventually – but right now I just think we should focus on making sure this family knows who‟s in charge.” “And that‟s you, right?” “Well done twin.”
  25. 25. “..But I really can‟t ignore that song that Dad‟s been playing in the background, it‟s just too catchy! Dance with me, twin.” “Oh goody! Whatever you say Ruthless!”
  26. 26. “Hey guys?” “Hm, what is this? Someone is interrupting me!” “Pfft, no one interrupts us!” “Silence, twin.” “Yeah..” Parasite leaned over the table. “I know you‟re really excited about growing up and everything, but I kinda really need to get my homework done before bedtime, so would you mind taking it somewhere else?” “I.. Fine. You play well, big sister. COME TWIN! It is time to retire to bed.”
  27. 27. But interrupting little sisters or not, Parasite's work proved to have paid off when she returned from school the following afternoon with a big smile on her face. “Look Daddy, look! My story about the box that lived on the beach got at A+! AN A+ DADDY!” “Oh Paris, that‟s fantastic! Well that deserves a special treat, I think. What would you like?” “Can we play tiddlywinks?” “Of course! Just let me finish painting this picture of your Mother, then we‟ll flick as many little bits of plastic around the room as you‟d like.” “It‟s okay. I can wait.” And the alien promptly sat on the spot and recounted her day at Big School with Louse and Leech until „Orrible was done.
  28. 28. The good vibes in the Nightmare house continued right through the week, despite Ruthless and Riot trying to unsuccessfully set the Tramp on Leech one evening. After popping the bird back in his cage, the oldest Nightmare Princess felt herself starting to tingle. “Ooo, Daddy! Daddy, I think it‟s time! ..Is there time for a quick grilled cheese for sustenance?” “I‟m afraid not Leechey – but remember, just spin and twirl and you‟ll be fine. And then you‟ll be big enough to grill your own cheese.” “Okay Daddy, that is so worth it then!”
  29. 29. “So.. Where do we keep the frying pans?” As Leech here is the Bad Apple, I still can‟t tell you anything other than she rolled Fortune. The pop up informed me that she grew up Gold, so I think it‟s fair to say that childhood has treated our little Bad Apple rather well! Oh, I do know that her hobby is Cuisine actually as I had a pop up – not that it‟s surprising really 
  30. 30. “I really can‟t see any Crumple-horned Snorkacks under the bed, Riot..” “Are you sure? Ruthless was sure that there was a herd in here this morning. Can‟t you have one more look.” “‟Fraid not Riot, I can already feel the tingles..” “Fine, I‟d better go and tell Ruthless then.. Oh, she‟ll be so disappointed!”
  31. 31. “There you are Lousey! Isn‟t this brilliant?” “Well so far I haven‟t seen a downside! But then it has only been 40 seconds since I grew up.. Though actually, this outfit is a bit of a downside. You happy with yours Leechey?” “Yeah, I mean, clothes aren‟t really very import are they? Just there to catch falling crumbs. Though actually, I‟m quite fond of my little cheese stripe on my shorts – what do you think?” “Very nice. But good, I‟m glad you‟re happy. But I‟m not, so let me go change and I‟ll be back in a sec.”
  32. 32. “Now this is much more fitting!” Louse also grew up Gold, quite good surprising that Bug Hunting isn‟t always great for one‟s self esteem and aspiration. She‟s also rolled Fortune, so for a quick recap: Louse Nightmare Capricorn – 7 3 1 7 8 Fortune – Become Hand of Poseidon Hobby – Film and Literature
  33. 33. “I thought it would be nice if we matched.” “Oh, it really is – thanks Lousey! Now, shall I go and make us all some nice grilled cheese for dinner?” “Sounds great. But hang on, I‟m got to influence you to do it to make sure you get it right.” “K!”
  34. 34. “Oh Liz! I do love a good birthday, and it‟s so lovely to see our girls growing up so well! Do you think, that maybe..?” “‟Orrible Nightmare, you are the worst Romance Sim I‟ve ever met!” “..I know.” “But I think you‟re probably the best Father the girls could ever ask for.” “Aww, I love you Liz.. Magic Bed time?”
  35. 35. “Hey! You got all big!” When morning rolled around, not everyone was as thrilled to see the oldest twins all grown up. “Did Ruthless give you permission to get bigger?” “Permission? What are you talking about Riot, no one needs permission to grow up! Has Ruth been filling your head with nonsense again? You don‟t always have to listen to what she says, you know.” “Yes. I mean NO! She hasn‟t, and yes I do – she‟s always right. And er, now I‟m confused so um, I‟m going back to bed!”
  36. 36. “You did the right thing, coming to me twin.” “She was confusing me..” “There there. You don‟t need to listen to aaaaaanybody else, because you have me, okay?” “Okay!” “Now go and get my slippers.” “Okay Ruthless!”
  37. 37. “Deary me little fellow.. Has Blight been kicking you over again? Tut tut.. But there you go! All nice and upright. Now, do try and stay upright because today is a special day for all my girls!”
  38. 38. “Huh? Special day? What do you mean special day?” asked Louse, suddenly distracted from her collecting. (Alas she had yet again caught nothing.) “You‟ll see.” „Orrible smiled back. “But probably best you head inside for a bit Lousey, our guest probably won‟t approve of extra holes in our lawn.”
  39. 39. “Morning Sir! I want to send my girls to Riverblossom Roots & Herbs Academy please!” “Oh my holy artichokes.. It‟s you isn‟t it? That little Nightmare boy! Yes, I remember you, you and your whole family.” “Er.. And wasn‟t it such a pleasant visit last time?” “No it was NOT!” “Oh, but.. Things have changed quite a lot around here you know! My wife and I are actually all for gardening and nature and crops and things – and so are the girls! Er, probably.” “I refuse to enter your sty once more, Nightmare.” “Um..”
  40. 40. “Just take it!” “I‟m sorry?” “Full scholarships, all five of them, just take it and leave me alone!” “Really? Wow, that‟s so kind of you Sir. I can‟t thank you enough, really. They‟ll be model students, I‟m sure of it – they‟re all so bright and beautiful, like all creatures great and small, all so wise and wonderful, and say! Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?” “I am afarid not. I have a hairdresser‟s appointment.” “Okay, no worries. You‟re welcome back any time though – and thank you again!”
  41. 41. And so the next morning, five little Nightmares donned their new school uniforms and headed to the Riverblossom Roots & Herbs Academy, all thanks to Mr. Emo Headmaster‟s terror.
  42. 42. “Oho, this‟ll be good.. It‟ll be only too easy to find some pleasantly malleable minds in this barn-hole. Look out Riverblossom, here I come..”
  43. 43. “Ruth!” Louse called after her sister. “RUTHLESS!” came the reply. “Sorry, but Ruthless! Please don‟t scare all your class on the first day – we‟re really lucky to get these scholarships!” “Oh, don‟t I know it..” the girl chucked, as she skipped onto the bus. “I‟m going to have to watch her aren‟t?” Louse sighed, and spotting Ruthless waving a rusty fork rather near a poor terrified Riverblossomer – ran onto the bus and away to school.
  44. 44. While the children of Riverblossom were meeting the Nightmare Princesses, Liz was at home maxing out her Nature enthusiasm for me. “’Leftover party hats and streamers make excellent fertiliser, or failing that attract a large number of minibeats suitable for preparations in many excellent dishes – most notably Many-Legs Lasagne..’ Who‟s written this?! That‟s the last time I read a blog from someone in Strangetown..”
  45. 45. Shrewtastic cooking tips aside, ta dah! Both „Orrible and Liz have maxed their pre-destined hobby enthusiasm, so that‟s another point for the Free Time bonuses. Whoo!
  46. 46. Ah, they have returned! Good first day then, Louse? “Yes actually! Leech and I were separated for the others all day so I don‟t know how they got on, but yeah.. I made a really nice friend!”
  47. 47. “Lousey, sweetie, would you mind telling your friend not to swing on the fridge so? I think your sister would be very upset if he broke it.. And it‟s kind of distracting!”
  48. 48. “He‟s right Colin. Leech would be really upset if you broke the fridge.” “Sorry Louse. But you said you wanted to get all your homework done before we hung out, and you just looked to concentrated I didn‟t want to disturbed you.” “So that leads to the fridge.. How?” “Um. It looked fun! And um. Well I didn‟t want to go too far away from you!”
  49. 49. “Really? That is such a sweet thing to say Colin!” The teenaged boy just giggled and stared at the floor. “You know what?” Louse went on, “why don‟t you bring your homework over next time too, and we can do it together so then it‟ll go faster and we can hang out at the same time!” “..Next time?” “Sure, why not? I mean it‟s been so.. nice, so find someone like you on my first day.”
  50. 50. “Oh dear – at least you didn‟t bring any boys home from school on your first day, eh Ruthie?” She decided to let that one slide. It had been a good day. “No WAY Dad, I had way more important stuff to do today than hang out with boys called Colin..” “Glad to hear it.” “How comes you aren‟t tearing his head off, Dad?” “Oh, I‟m watching him. But luckily I think your sister is far more interested in keeping up with her scholarship grades than anything else at the moment. But the second that changes..” “You break out with the BBQ kit?” “Something like that.”
  51. 51. “‟Orrible sweetie, I was thinking perhaps we could ask Louse‟s little friend to stay for dinner. I‟m just so happy that the girls are integrating so nicely into the Riverblossom community so fast!” “Ooh, yes! That‟s a good idea. I don‟t think the headmaster was entirely convinced that I didn‟t want to lay waste to the wheat-fields like Mum. I‟m not quite sure if we enough cheese left to go around though, maybe we should try something else..”
  52. 52. “BAD IDEA DAD! Bad idea. Do you even know what you‟re saying? I don‟t think it‟s fair that the rest of us should have to suffer just because Louse has a study-buddy. Hey Louse! That boy has to leave. Like, NOW! HE‟S CAUSING DIRE PROBLEMS.”
  53. 53. Later that evening, after Colin had left and Leech had stopped hyperventilating at the very thought of the possibility she might have had to maybe eat something other than grilled cheese – Shea dropped by for a visit. “Evening you two!” “Hey Dad – how‟s Mum doing?” “Oh, alright I suppose.. She‟s enjoying having a whole afterlife of people to shout at – but sadly they‟re all from around here. I don‟t think a Riverblossom eternity is quite what she was after.. Oh, she sent me to scare someone for fun to she could laugh at them, who‟s about?”
  54. 54. Remembering what „Orrible had been like as a teenager, Shea drifted over to the garden. And sure enough, Louse was to be found doing a bit of last minute bug collecting before bed. “I‟M A GIANT BEETLE, BOOOOOOO!!” “Granddad, that wasn‟t very nice you know.. As if this isn‟t motive draining enough!” “Er, I know. Sorry dear. Do try and sleep well now, won‟t you?”
  55. 55. “zzzzz.... Eat the tractor... Twin, eat the tractor... Snore...zzz” “You‟re a very strange one, aren‟t you?” Leech said fondly, as she tucked the last members of the family into bed. “....sheep knuckles....” “Yes Ruth. Exactly.”
  56. 56. Parasite was up early the next day, eager to cram as much childhood bonding as she could into her birthday. “So – fishing huh? I‟ve never tried before, pretty cool of Dad to think of building this pond wasn‟t it? I‟m hoping to find one of those golden trouts! What about you, what are you hoping to find?” She turned to her companion expectantly.
  57. 57. “Ruthless?” “.. Juuuuust keep talking, will you? I‟m sure that‟ll make all the fish come riiiight over to us. Not scare them at all!” “Okay, you do have a point. But I just thought it‟d be nice to have a chat about things while we were both-
  58. 58. - HEY! I GOT ONE! Guess you were right after all, Ruthless.” “..You‟re lucky I like you.” After that, the two spend a rather amicable day by the pond, with other members of the family coming, and then promptly leaving again when Ruthless started trying to aim her hook for their eyes.
  59. 59. “Try not to be as awful as those other two when you grow up, won‟t you?” she sighed as it was finally time for Parasite to join the older twins in teenland. “What? But Leech and Louse are great!” she said quickly before the sparklies took hold. “My respect for you just dropped 20 points.” Ruthless sighed, and wandered away.
  60. 60. But the respect of Ruthless notwithstanding, Parasite grew up just as well as her sisters. Eee, pretty alien is pretty!
  61. 61. After a swift change of clothes, she then partook in the now almost birthday- tradition of a grilled cheese on transit. “Urgh, suddenly growing two feet makes you kind of hungry, ya know..” Fair point. Parasite Nightmare Gemini – 7 10 10 3 5 Popularity – Become The Law Hobby - Fitness
  62. 62. Thrilled with her new Popularity status, Parasite hurried under the fading light to the market and hastily returned with a pocket stuffed full of cell phones. “Phones4U!” “Awesome, thanks Paris. It‟ll be way handier to just tell people I‟m too busy to chat out here, rather than traipsing all the way inside.” “Still bug hunting?” “Still bug hunting.”
  63. 63. “And you as well, Leech.” “Really? But nobody‟s even ever called me before?” “So what!” Parasite smiled. “Now you get to call them!” And upon the presentation of cell phones I shall stop for now. Some more points grabbed and the Nightmare Princesses well on their way – not bad for an afternoon! ..Now I should probably go to work.