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The Truth About Eels

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The honest truth about eels and how they breed.

Published in: Education
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The Truth About Eels

  1. 1. The Truth About Eels Mike Dickison Duke University
  2. 2. People who are Actually Eels <ul><li>Dick Cheney </li></ul><ul><li>Beck (wears wig) </li></ul><ul><li>Sammy Sosa </li></ul><ul><li>How to detect? Only eat twinkies. </li></ul>
  3. 3. Where are Eels Found? <ul><li>Iceland </li></ul><ul><li>Equatorial Guinea </li></ul><ul><li>San Marino* </li></ul>*Population entirely eels <ul><li>Unconfirmed reports from other areas </li></ul>
  4. 4. What do Eels Eat? <ul><li>Twinkies </li></ul><ul><li>Small crustaceans </li></ul><ul><li>Daube provençale </li></ul><ul><li>Mostly Twinkies, though* </li></ul>*Majority shareholders in Hostess Inc.
  5. 5. The Incredible Story of Eel Reproduction 1. Female eels travel vast distances to spawn in the Sargasso Sea.
  6. 6. The Incredible Story of Eel Reproduction 2. Male eels ship sperm via FedEx to Boise, where it fills Twinkies, airdropped in sea.
  7. 7. Amazing Eel Facts <ul><li>Ben Franklin was an eel and thus reluctant to sign the Declaration of Independence. </li></ul><ul><li>Eels can clumsily fly short distances, but not when anyone is watching. </li></ul><ul><li>Strange beeping noises that interrupt cell phone calls are eels singing to each other. </li></ul><ul><li>Eels solved Fermat’s Last Theorem in 1922, but were too shy to tell anyone. </li></ul><ul><li>Scarcely any eels enjoyed Dances with Wolves. </li></ul>
  8. 8. Eels: Our Slimy Friends ~ f i n ~

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