Not simply parenting, it’s LOVE!
• Both positive and negative conditional parenting
are harmful, in different ways!
• Positive kind succeeds in getting children to work
harder on academic tasks but at the cost of
‘unhealthy feelings’ of internal compulsion.
• Negative conditioning doesn’t work at all even in
the short run; it only increases negative feelings
• Both are methods of control and manipulation, all
for the short-term; think of long-term behavioral
• These conditioning methods tells us more about
✓And most importantly, empathy and
the dark view we have of human nature; that
giving unconditional love would only lead to actively imagining things from the
‘chaos’! child’s point of view!
★In practice, unconditional acceptance should be
✓Cause what counts is how things look
accompanied by autonomy support: explaining
reasons for requests, give opportunities to from the perspective of the
participate in making decisions (despite risk of children — whether they feel just as
failure), being encouraging without being loved when they mess up or fall short.