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How can we
listen
better?
Question # 1: How can we avoid to interrupt?
Question # 2: Are you more introverted than extroverted?
Question # 3: What do you value more: Listening or speaking?
Question # 4: In your next conversation, what do you plan to listen for?
Question # 5: What do you think about repeating what you heard the person say?
Question # 6: How can you reduce your need to be right?
Question # 7: How can we ask more and better questions?
Question # 8: How can we stop doing other things when we listen to someone?
Question # 9: How can you have more eye contact with the person you listen to?
Question # 10: How do we listen to a person’s body language?
Question # 11: What do you think about taking notes about what you hear?
Question # 12: What can we do to not judge too early?
Question # 1
How can we
avoid to interrupt?
When you interrupt, or when you plunge in
too quickly to make yourself heard, you are
behaving impatiently.
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
Be mindful that a pause, even a long one, does
not necessarily mean that the speaker has
finished.
Let the speaker continue in her or his own time.
http://smartblogs.com/leadership/2014/11/07/become-a-great-listener/
Silence can buy you time to think.
http://www.fastcompany.com/3038222/4-habits-of-good-listeners
Silence can be one of the most
powerful forms of communication.
https://hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/the-secret-and-power-of-listening/
Close your mouth
Question # 2
Are you more introverted
or more extroverted?
Further inspiration
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Introvert-and-extrovert-2037536
Question # 3
What do you value more:
Listening or speaking?
Today, will you decide to wear a learning lens
or a lecturing lens?
https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2015/11/listening-learning-lens/
To fully listen, you must first believe
it is a critical part of your job.
https://hbr.org/2014/04/what-gets-in-the-way-of-listening/
Some of us may have had early experiences in life
where we were taught to be listeners instead of
speakers.
Some of us were taught that it was weak to listen,
that we need to speak up.
https://hbr.org/2015/01/how-to-really-listen-to-your-employees
For most of my 20s, I assumed that the
world was more interested in me than I
was in it, so I spent most of my time
talking, usually in a quite uninformed
way, about whatever I thought, rushing
to be clever, thinking about what I was
going to say to someone rather than
listening to what they were saying to me.
http://www.lifechngr.com/business/productivity-creativity/8-successful-entrepreneurs-give-their-younger-selves-lessons-they-wish-theyd-known-then-fast-company-business-innovation/
Paul Bennett
Further inspiration
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Questions-to-discover-your-values-1329394
Question # 4
In your next conversation,
what do you plan
to listen for?
Before the talking begins, skilled learners
mentally review what they already know
about the subject.
Then they set a goal for what to listen for.
http://blogs.kqed.org/mindshift/2013/10/ready-to-learn-the-key-is-listening-with-intention/
Examples of what to listen for:
 Needs and wants.
 Values.
 Purpose.
 Emotions.
 Problems.
https://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2016/02/21/five-things-that-go-up-when-leaders-listen/
http://www.fastcompany.com/3038222/4-habits-of-good-listeners
2 additional questions to ask yourself:
1. What is the purpose of the interaction?
2. What do you think you can learn?
Question # 5
What do you think about
repeating what you heard
using your own words?
Person A
It’s impossible to work like this!
Person B
What I hear is / if I understand you correctly,
you find it difficult to work in these conditions.
Adapted from
Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 157-158.
The listener does not have to agree with the
speaker - he or she must simply repeat what
he/she thinks the speaker said.
This enables the speaker to find out whether
the listener really understood.
Sources
http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/activel.htm
https://hbr.org/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
https://hbr.org/2013/07/practical-tips-for-overcoming-r
http://sinekpartners.typepad.com/refocus/2010/06/there-is-a-difference-between-listening-and-waiting-for-your-turn-to---speak-just-because-someone-can-hear-doesnt-mean-t.html
Question # 6
How can you reduce
your need to be right?
Ability to pay attention
Need to be right
Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 156.
When you’ve had a long day and your partner is
talking through his or her stresses, it’s tempting to
let your partner know just how much bigger and
more important your own issues are. That only
creates tension.
Learn to simply listen and offer help to your partner.
http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
There has to be a certain humility
to listen well.
Kevin Sharer
https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/Why_Im_a_listener_Amgen_CEO_Kevin_Sharer_2956
Try to reassure the person you speak with that
you empathize with what she / he is saying.
http://www.inc.com/tom-searcy/how-to-be-a-better-listener.html
Further inspiration
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Social-competence-1600674
Question # 7
How can we ask more
and better questions?
By asking questions, you can clarify
what the person really needs.
https://hbr.org/2016/05/listening-is-an-overlooked-leadership-tool
Ask questions from a position of curiosity.
http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/transform/dialog.htm
Examples of questions to ask
 What do you think?
 How do you feel about it?
 Can you tell me more about that?
 What happened next?
 What does that really mean?
 How do you think that will go?
 Why did you say that?
Sources
https://hbr.org/2013/03/for-real-influence-use-level-f
https://hbr.org/2016/05/listening-is-an-overlooked-leadership-tool
http://leaderchat.org/2012/09/03/3-tips-for-better-listening-and-the-one-attitude-that-makes-all-the-difference
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-become-better-listener-dr-travis-bradberry
Further inspiration
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Question-types-1567673
Question # 8
How can we stop doing
other things when we
listen to someone?
Try to focus on what the other person is saying.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-become-better-listener-dr-travis-bradberry
Effective listening requires our focused attention.
To listen well, eliminate all distractions.
https://hbr.org/2015/02/how-great-coaches-ask-listen-and-empathize
The human mind is unable to genuinely
focus on 2 activities at once.
Visible learning and the science of how we learn, location 2500.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/769046140
Listen. That means do not multitask.
I’m not just talking about doing email, surfing
the web, or creating a grocery list. Thinking
about what you’re going to say next counts as
multitasking. Simply focus on what the other
person is saying.
https://hbr.org/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
The moment you remove your attention from a task,
you can expect no meaningful learning or skill
development to take place.
Visible learning and the science of how we learn, location 2500.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/769046140
You can’t pick up on facial expressions
if your gaze is down at your phone.
https://hbr.org/2015/01/how-to-really-listen-to-your-employees
Question # 9
How can you have more
eye contact with the
person you listen to?
By observing what a person gets energized about,
you can find out what she / he really wants to say.
https://hbr.org/2016/05/listening-is-an-overlooked-leadership-tool
Eye contact helps develop trust.
Addis, Scott: Body language. Actions speak louder than words.
Rough Notes, July 2008.
Question # 10
How do we listen well to
a person’s body language?
Voice
38%
Body
language
55% impact
Use of words
7% impact
Sources
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian
http://blog.doubleslash.de/richtige-kommunikation-im-softwareprojekt/
When we remain silent, we improve the
odds that we’ll spot nonverbal cues we
might have missed otherwise.
https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/The_executives_guide_to_better_listening_2931
Nonverbal cues could indicate what the
speaker isn't saying. Often what she is
not saying is as important as what she is.
http://web.hbr.org/email/archive/managementtip.php?date=012810
http://www.howcast.com/videos/218107-How-To-Be-a-Good-Listener
Adopting words, body postures, positions
and movements that are similar to the
speaker will allow the speaker to relax and
open up more.
Sources
http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener
Question # 11
What do you think about
taking notes about what
you hear?
When you notice something has blocked
you from listening, simply make a note of
it and shift your attention back to what
the other person is saying.
https://hbr.org/2014/04/what-gets-in-the-way-of-listening/
Once you write it down,
you have put it in your brain.
http://barongroup.com/images/Are_you_listening.pdf
Further inspiration
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Learning-strategies-1487708
Question # 12
What can we do to
not judge too early?
People can listen 3 – 5 times faster
than they can talk.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
http://www.inc.com/tom-searcy/how-to-be-a-better-listener.html
Because a listener can listen at a faster
rate than most speakers talk, there is a
tendency to evaluate too quickly.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
http://hbr.org/web/slideshows/difficult-conversations-nine-common-mistakes/1-slide
Judgments and decisions should be
reserved until after the talker has finished.
At that time, and only then, review his
main ideas and assess them.
https://hbr.org/1957/09/listening-to-people/ar/1
Instead of judging a person you listen to, judge
yourself: An idea might not strike you
immediately, but if you give it time, and a little
thought, the idea could surprise you.
https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
Further inspiration
http://www.7cupsoftea.com/
https://hbr.org/2015/02/everything-you-need-to-know-about-becoming-a-better-listener
https://hbr.org/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm
http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432
http://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better.html
http://online.wsj.com/articles/tuning-in-how-to-listen-better-1406070727
http://youtu.be/cSohjlYQI2A
http://youtu.be/NjUic9WqLrg

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