Be it your personal or professional life,being assertive can help you build andmaintain self-confidence in all situations.However, assertiveness doesnt comenaturally to everyone and most peoplehave to learn this skill through the lifeexperiences. Assertiveness is not justabout speaking your mind, but it is alsoabout how you speak your mind.
It is about expressing your feelings,opinions and thoughts without beingdisrespectful to others and withouthesitation. In simple words, assertivenessmeans, asking confidently for what youwant whilst being able to politely say no towhat you do not want.
Why should you be assertive?Honesty and mutual respect are two keyelements that help sustain long-termrelationships. By being assertive, you arerespectful of yourself as well as the personyou are speaking with. On the other hand,lack of assertiveness may lead to variousnegative consequences, such as emotionalwithdrawal, resentment and eventually lossof relationship.
Basically, there are three communicationstyles; passive which means you keepyour feelings and thoughts to yourselfand dont express yourself easily; andaggressive which means screaming oryelling at others to make a point.Assertiveness is a midpoint betweenbeing passive and being aggressive.
How to be assertive in your relationshipFirst, you have to work on building your self-confidence. Remind yourself of all yourpositive qualities and capabilities so you donot feel like you dont deserve a voice.Ask yourself how should you handle thesituation, which is completely different fromhow you feel like dealing with it. Look for thebest way to express yourself and remember,you do not have to necessarily sugarcoatwhat you want to say.
Try to focus on “I” statements instead of“you”, because usually the more times onesays “You”, the more defensive otherperson becomes. For instance, I am upsetbecause I was expecting you for dinner,vs., You are not reliable.Deal with the issue immediately rather thanallowing the frustration to build. If you waittoo long, it can escalate emotions andspark heated response.
Dont bring up the past, and focus on onlyone issue at a time. It’s not a good idea tooverwhelm the other person with manyissues all at once.For more such helpful tips and advice onrelationships, please visithttp://goo.gl/JEBzOFit4Success TeamMelina