Regarding Boys and OLDER Boys
So this isn't the most savory of topics, but it mystified me the other day. It absolutely was but still is
truly one of those head scratching moments. It still mystified me today when that particularly
memory came back to roost in my head as I went by our bathroom. How did we get here?
That whole timeframe from the third week in November in the US - yes, turkey day, or our very own
American Thanksgiving - onwards to the end of the year is a wonderful time. Well for many things.
Not necessarily to get work done, however it's a good time for foods, friends and family, sharing,
togetherness and all of that.
Now, being a cave geek, I really don't depart my little
shell very often. My girlfriend, the hair stylist, Kristty,
however, is incredibly social. Check out her facebook
page now. She's got a fairly healthy social life outside of
my modest sphere here at the house. Moreover, she
enjoys a lot of people being around. So, one of her
school buddies wanted to finish up an examination of
some sort in the midst of this time period on a Saturday.
Kristty being ever the "SURE WE'LL HELP" sort,
proposed that her friend, Red, bring over her crew of
kids (3 - only 2 of which are boys) to sleep over and then spend time with us. Mom could then leave
to take her exam on Saturday morning around 7 am. A sleepy-eyed little head appeared mysteriously
(to me) Saturday morning without warning from the guest bedroom. The arrangements apparently
took place between me going to bed around 8:30-9pm and the next morning when I awoke at 3 am.
Watch a couple of boys. It may sound easy enough. And most likely if you have been a parent for any
stretch of time, it very likely is. When you're a cave geek, similar to myself, anything that occurs
that's away from arena of normal is usually a totally new wrinkle. And those 2 boys, 4 and 9,
definitely WERE a little wrinkle. The youngest got up around 7 am. 7 am in MY world is fairly quiet
usually. It's news time, currently about the time the sun is coming up, time to prepare before the
work day starts. Yes, even on Saturdays, the workday still starts. The joy of being a small business
owner. There is no "I don't work weekends" for a lot of small businesses - mine included.
The little shaver came out rubbing his eyes and hopped up on my lap for a few minutes. So far, so
good. So long as he wasn't quite fully conscious, life was good. After he began waking UP? A
handful. As I looked up at the clock after answering some dozen questions, setting him up with some
breakfast (2 bites were eaten), asking what he was tinkering with in the other room (odd sounds
were emanating), I realized while it felt like an hour, hour and a half had passed, it was really only
slightly LESS than thirty minutes.
Long story short, they went off to one of those adventure type places for kids - loved it. Well, I did. I
don't know how they made out, but I loved it. Back to quiet LOL.
So, little boys... I really have only had experience with little girls (the stepdaughter types) in my life.
They are somewhat different than little boys. As Hobbes of "Calvin and Hobbes" fame opines, "Little
boys don't smell so good." Boy howdy. They seem to be a whole lot more active. They appear to be
able to get into a great deal more a great deal faster. Maybe it's just me and I'm older and gruffer.
Whatever the case....
Exactly what brought all of this to mind now? I strolled past the bathroom and visions of days gone
by came to mind. The cleaning lady, Sue, is coming by today. She mentioned that it was shameful
exactly what a 20something young lady had done (or not done) in the bathroom during her stay here
with us. Untidy, distressing, etc. No, it wasn't a real health hazard, but for some reason, it's
expected that girls are going to take more time to ensure that their bath areas are thoroughly clean.
She didn't, and I have heard about this several times from Sue since, but I digress. Sue was glad the
girl finally left - the bathroom has been above reproach since. Up until the little boys came to visit.
When the little shavers left the next day, I went into the restroom to deal with nature's business.
Like a conscientious guy, I raised the seat up, as I have been required to do by many girlfriends
(among them Kristty) and even a wife in there.
Things I saw - I'm just seriously not even sure how this might even occur based on the laws of
physics as I comprehend them. How could something like this occur? How can you get that
underneath a toilet seat period?? For God's sake, how would you POSSIBLY get that below CLOSED
toilet seat hinges??? Actually does gravity not apply within the toilet for little boys? Can it be
basically a complete gravity-free zone under their little bottoms? Maybe it's an invisible warp zone
force field continuum in that area which is why even as men we can not ever hit the objective
properly and MUST PUT UP THE TOILET SEAT - at least as per the ladies in our lives. There are
I had been watching the Sci channel yesterday and they had a kinetic railgun they were showing.
The idea is that you can take a fairly minor projectile and fire it at EXTREME velocity and cause
MAJOR damage. The whole f=mv2
thing. The scientists on the show took a solid block of concrete
and dropped it into the center of a containment container. They fired a 1 oz projectile (ball bearing
looking thing) at it at a velocity of approximately 15K mph. The concrete just burst and disintegrated
in to a shower of little tiny specks. And that also appears to be what went down underneath
somebody's little bottom within my bathroom. I've NO theory how they may have produced that kind
of velocity. Maybe it was possible but I just don't recollect having quite that functionality even when
I *was* younger.
So little boys - gravity-free ranges, railgun intestinal constructions... who knows? No matter, the
cleaning lady will be coming today - and she's going to be overjoyed we didn't have kids remain with
us again across the holidays. And finishing this just in time - time to go test out the warp zone force