A.R.T. independence model


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Attachment Relativity Theory is a new embodied model to describe processes of time, attention, pain and consciousness.

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A.R.T. independence model

  1. 1. A.R.T. Independence ModelThe model makes two assumptions:1) Independence is a trait-like state; but it is neither a trait nor a state. Rather, it is aprocessing of information contingent upon a time series and a spatialized inner experienceof memory and attention.2) "Embodied pregnancy" can be experienced for either men or women; it is from theperspective entirely of the attachment target alone, and therefore requires no necessarygender of the target. For example, a woman can desire the embodied state of pregnancy inher attachment target, although he is a man. This is because she herself retains anembodied imprint of being carried in the womb, as her bodys model for attachment asmuch as a mans.Phase 1 - Falling in LoveAttachment target is examined from a zoomed-out orientation. The target is analyzed according tomultidimensional assumptions of behavior and attitude. The independent is often insightful andaltruistic of his assessment of her & sees her as a hero in her own right from afar.The attachment partner desires to be in an embodied state of pregnancy inside his heroin. Hebelieves she has the power to guide his destiny without interference and in completeindependence from an active attachment system - all will run smoothly and according to plan.However, shortly after contact there is a belief in the independent that the target "knows" histhoughts and plans because of his minimal viewing of her from a zoomed-in orientation. Theattachment partner responds by "puffing his chest feathers" and otherwise showing off skills, andbegins to distract himself positively or negatively out of the attachment system. Schemas of lossare activated and a subconsious fear of rejection begins to create distance.The embodied state of "safe haven" is at a state of risk, and the attachment partner begins toprematurely mourn the loss of his partner at an extremely premature stage. A small anger againstthe partner ensues, followed by a searching for clues as to the seeming loss of his own identityand loss of ego, and he begins to question the "heroine" or "noble" archetype of the distant target.A sharp critique begins in the subconscious and conscious mind. A strong urge to shut down theattachment system begins. The attachment target is perceived as "in the way" of former,untouchable goals and plans. An alternative plan to escape the attachment target is initiated. Thetarget is quickly converted to an outgroup schema in the mind of the independent.Phase 2 - Building a RelationshipAfter a grappling between the critique and the idealization of the attachment target, a decision isreached of a far-off prize available within a relationship. This prize can be of any number of futureaccomplishments and distance to the goal state becomes underrated and perceived as closer than
  2. 2. in reality. The attachment partner idealizes himself as the provider of this goal state to his target,and assumes that the initial independent assessment of the target to be perfectly correct.As interactions continue, an indifference begins to surmount where the attachment target is seenas "moaning against" and "killing" the laid plans of the partner. Everything is laid out long before itcomes to pass, and it is the target who is interfering with the success of the independent. The"castle" of future plans begins to crumble, and it has already been intertwined with the self-identification of the independent, and so emotional pains ensue.In the mourning process, there is revelation of inner trauma that activates the original pains of thedetachment from the embodied pregnant state of the target. Small sadnesses grow longer, ascommunication deteriorates and the embodiment of "suffocation" by the maternal umbilical cordand limited womb-space is perceived. At this point, the feeling of being manipulated by the targetor a feeling of "knowing everything that is going to be said" by the target begins.Finally, the independent perceives life as being hugely impacted by this previously distant andideal individual. Friendship is considered, divinity is contemplated, or an altogether unworthy effortof establishing a relationship. The ego is reinforced and the burning curiousity to understand theself is awakened.Phase 3 - Freezing TimeThe journey to the self begins entirely absent of the relationship. It is distinguishable and separatefrom the attachment target in every sense - the independent goes into childhood memories andformer rejections and perhaps other lovers, successes or significant life events. Interactions withthe attachment partner are perceived by the independent as monotonous and routine compared tothe rich timelessness inside the mind. Interactions are briefer and more to the point in order tolengthen internal time and shorten external time.Attention toward the attachment target is externally hostile or internally hostile. The polyvagal"freeze" system, beyond fight or flight, has frozen the target in memory and there is no movementor development in the relationship at this time. More and more answers about the self seem toappear in this inner timelessness, and the attachment target is given the responsibility to "wake up"the independent from his restlessness, although at the same time the target is seen asmonotonous and not able to do so.Slowly the target is objectified and becomes another step in the plan of the life of the independent.The story is externalized to a label such as "ex" or "someone from the past" from a zoomed outperspective, similar to phase 1 but with a finality and one-way exit for the independent to come outthe same or better than before the attachment experience. The target was something that wasneeded, but unable to meet the future goal of the independent. The independent does not wish tobe cruel or unusual, and hopes there are neutral feelings from the target but in a distant, objectifiedmanner, with little motivation for grounded action on behalf of the target to rectify his or herfeelings.Phase 4 - The Final PushRealizing fully the death of the relationship, there is one last attempt to avoid the death of the newego formed within the relationship by a last "push" for intimacy in the form of presence. An
  3. 3. embodied vertigo of the birthing process is craved for. Any emotional experiences of the targetexhibited as negative affect produce biological mechanisms of self-protection that are dissociatedfrom the target his or herself, and give the independent a sense of empowerment andfearlessness.Old memories of the initial zoomed-out ideal are resurrected and certain complements toward thepartner are experienced anew. A promise of the lost future is reignited and the potential for newlove is considered.In the embodiment of being reborn, the independent desires that the target "hold the light" of lifeover his or her own, and hold him or her in the brilliant future to come. But this is desired onlyinside the state of inner timeless from the intensive self searching that has been underwent, and soa huge eruption is soon to occur.Because independents will have mastered the freezing process, emotional outpouring of thiseruption may or may not be shown externally. The target is feared for and loathed by the feelingswithin the independent against the let-down that has been caused. The target is challenged tobecome the ideal that the independent has created in his or her own consciousness. A "make-up"period is planned for where the target must rise to meet the renewed expectations of theindependent, who has a sense of the target "owing" the happiness that was revoked in the loss ofthe final pushs fail.If the target succeeds to renew the idealized future dream in the form of action or speech, the cyclebegins anew from phase 1.