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Everybody Loves Bertie, Chapter 14


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Everybody Loves Bertie, Chapter 14

  1. 1. To recap: This is my attempt at a Polyamory Project Challenge,created by princedeej28. The point of the challenge is toromance more than one Sim and earn enough points to makeHugh Hefner jealous.Last time, I decided to try my hand at the Obey Your Simshandicap and did quite well points-wise. Now, I won’t be tryingfor a three-day apocalypse, and since the house is already builtthe Middle Of Nowhere handicap is out too. You’ll just have toput up with plain old gameplay for once. Last time also had asecond death – Gerard Sanders – and I hope there aren’tanymore for a while.Now that you’re all caught up, on with the story!
  2. 2. When I opened the lot, things were going pretty well.
  3. 3. Or at least, as well as they could be when Corey was Furiouswith his husband.Again.
  4. 4. But it’s okay. Corey and Bertie are mature individuals, and theyknow how to expand their social circle to include other peoplein a healthy, non-offensive, non-judgmental, easy-going sort ofway.
  5. 5. And if you believe that, I have a bridge I’d like to sell you.COREY: So, Abhijeet, what are your thoughts on openrelationships?ABHIJEET: Um…BERTIE: Oh, can it, Cowey! Abhijeet and I don’t need you andyouw catty wemawks awound hewe!COREY: Abhijeet and you?! Abhijeet is my friend, not yours,you cheating –ABHIJEET: Um, I really have to go now…
  6. 6. Corey absolutely refused to even sleep in the same bed asBertie.
  7. 7. Yes, things were bad. And they started slipping from bad toworse.
  8. 8. First Vanessa developed incontinence.
  9. 9. Followed by dizzy spells.
  10. 10. Then she claimed she saw ghosts.
  11. 11. But nobody was really concerned until Frank showed up.(Both the plumbbob and the Walls Down are deliberate in thisshot, as otherwise you would not be able to see Frank’s firstappearance or understand Vanessa’s mood when it happened.)
  12. 12. Now, a normal Sim would try to interact with the Social Bunnyto get that Social meter up. Unfortunately, the key phrase in thatsentence is “normal.”Vanessa decided to listen to music.On Corey’s bed, in Corey’s room.
  13. 13. COREY: No, Bertie! What on earth makes you think I wouldcatch you?BERTIE: I awways catch you.COREY: And complain about your back while you do it. Andmay I remind you that I have not cheated on you even once!BERTIE: You knew what I was wike when you mawwied me!And I’ve stayed within the fiwe code, too!COREY (darkly): In this house.BERTIE: At weast give me a hand up.COREY: Get up your damn self. (steps over Bertie)
  14. 14. BERTIE: Oh, Vanessa! I’m so gwad you don’t hate me.VANESSA: No, I don’t hate you, Bertie. Why would I hateyou?BERTIE: I don’t know. Cowey is so unweasonabwe.VANESSA: I know. Frank doesn’t think so, but I told him hewas full of it.
  15. 15. BERTIE: Fwank again? Come on, Vanessa, don’t bewidicuwous. You know Fwank doesn’t weally exist. He’s just amanifestation of youw unconscious need fow gweater sociawcontact. And I know a good way to take cawe of that need…VANESSA (indignantly): What do you mean, Frank doesn’treally exist? He’s my best friend!BERTIE: I thought I was youw best fwiend. Me and Cowey.Frank doesn’t like Corey. Frank doesn’t like you, either.BERTIE: That’s enough! You’we too old for an imaginawyfwiend! Stop it wight now!VANESSA: Make me!BERTIE: Do I need to wemind you who pays youw biwws?VANESSA: Oh yeah? Well, Frank says you’re a doody-head!
  16. 16. COREY: That went well. Not.BERTIE: I know, I know. Cowey, I don’t know what to do.Vanessa isn’t hewsewf anymowe. Sometimes I think she’s awwwight, and then she goes back to being… not aww wight. Ithought it was just wike that time with you and Hawvey, but itisn’t.COREY (unsympathetically): Maybe you should put her in ahome.BERTIE: I can’t do that, Cowey. I can’t do that any mowe thanI could put you in a home. I can’t just tuwn hew ovew to somestwangew who doesn’t cawe about hew or wemembew how sheused to be. (almost in tears) But I can’t take cawe of hewmysewf. I need you, Cowey. Pwease. If you evew wuved me,pwease help me now.
  17. 17. Losing youLosing who you used to beWatching youWatching you slip away from me
  18. 18. The person that I used to knowIs going, going, goneThe person who is standing hereLeaves me ever more aloneLosing youLosing who you used to beWatching youWatching you slip away from me
  19. 19. The one I loved died long agoShe vanished in the deepBut you’re here with her face and nameAnd so I cannot weepLosing youLosing who you used to beWatching youWatching you slip away from me
  20. 20. Losing youLosing who you used to beWatching youWatching you slip away from meSlip away from me
  21. 21. The untitled song that appears in this chapter is TM, copyright, etc. byyours truly. No sneaky making money off it without giving me half.Score for this roundAssorted romantic interactions x 2: 10Got caught during romantic interaction x 1: -10TOTAL: 0Score as of last round: 570GRAND TOTAL: 570Relationship standings (Daily/Lifetime)Bertie > Corey: 100/100. Best friends. Married.Bertie > Vanessa: 29/38. Love. Portrait is 3/4 red.Corey > Bertie: 100/100. Best friends. Married.Corey > Vanessa: 28/48.Vanessa > Bertie: -69/-12. Portrait is 7/8 red.Vanessa > Corey: -61/-7. Portrait is 3/4 red.Vanessa > Zenon: 90/90. Best Friends. Love. Two bolts.